Disfunctional Neighbors

[Digitalbanana]

My Thai wife had got to know another Thai wife in the neighborhood over a period of time without my knowledge as I often travel away for work and due to the neighbor’s Thai wife being in quarrels with her European husband. Now his wife has run away with their four year old child and gone undercover in Thailand somewhere. I don’t know any of them, haven’t even seen him or know what he looks like, and just hear this from my wife who has become an unfortunate escape for the abused wife in the past when she was kicked out the door by him and needed someone to confide in.

He has apparently asked the police to track her down to get to his child. The story doing the rounds from the wifes side though is that she has been abused by him over recent years as has their own child inappropriately in the bedroom. Not sure if there is any truth to the matter or not and I am not wanting to get involved in such matters that I abhor. Should I tell the Mrs to keep out of it also from now on and stop answering her phone calls if she ever calls again or what advise is there?

[Oneman]

Should I tell the Mrs to keep out of it also from now on and stop answering her phone calls if she ever calls again or what advise is there?

Digitalbanana -

Maybe I shouldn't get involved in your situation , but I will.

Over my years in Thailand, I've learned again and again -- and always learned the hard way -- to never, ever, get involved in their problems.

The Thais have their own methods of solving disputes, methods of which we are totally unaware.

Often, their methods take more time than we might expect, and move along paths which we can not see.

Getting involved doesn't help them at all, and can only reflect badly on you for meddling in something which doesn't concern you.

You asked for advice.

Here's mine -- time tested and proven:

Smile enigmatically, and quietly say, "Ohhhhh", with a long, drawn out sound, and a rising tone.

Do and say nothing more.

That alone will be sufficient to establish your reputation as a wise man who understands Thai culture.

-- Oneman

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[IanForbes]

I have to agree with oneman. Getting involved will help nobody and COULD cause a lot of problems for you and your wife. Many tragedies occur to those that inadvertently get between some other couple's personal squabbles. Police will tell you that all the time.

[473geo]

Brilliant answer oneman......made me smile too.....because it is funny but so true....

[Digitalbanana]

That alone will be sufficient to establish your reputation as a wise man who understands Thai culture.

-- Oneman

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Thanks Om, wise words and much to my own thoughts albeit slightly other words in rising tones.

[Bosse137]

Still laughing! Oneman,your answer hit the nail;correct and very,very funny!!

[cognos]

My Thai wife had got to know another Thai wife in the neighborhood over a period of time without my knowledge as I often travel away for work and due to the neighbor's Thai wife being in quarrels with her European husband. Now his wife has run away with their four year old child and gone undercover in Thailand somewhere. I don't know any of them, haven't even seen him or know what he looks like, and just hear this from my wife who has become an unfortunate escape for the abused wife in the past when she was kicked out the door by him and needed someone to confide in.

He has apparently asked the police to track her down to get to his child. The story doing the rounds from the wifes side though is that she has been abused by him over recent years as has their own child inappropriately in the bedroom. Not sure if there is any truth to the matter or not and I am not wanting to get involved in such matters that I abhor. Should I tell the Mrs to keep out of it also from now on and stop answering her phone calls if she ever calls again or what advise is there?

Its dYsfunctional, as I have a lot of experience

[ronz28]

I understand.