The demographic group may be small - but of very high calibre intellectually - the answers in this topic have consistently been spot-on.

The truth is that in partnership, whether business, or romantic - trust is everything.

..but naughtiness does go on, not necessarily from the household of Boo, SBK or Merlin, but in households where wives would take the same entirely sensible line.

The best summation I can manage:-

- Don't look behind the curtain to see who is pressing the switches and pulling the levers that operate The Great and Mighty OZ - it might just be a small tired old gimmer.

I entirely agree with you moog, the main thing is to have trust & respect but trust your suspicions as well, thats what I meant by comfort zone & turning a blind eye. Many people have that suspicion & sometimes more than that in hard eveidence but choose to ignore it & carry on as normal & I can't help feeling that eventually they will crack & thats where the old duck feeding episodes come from

(I'm a Poly/Sci major)

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Ooooh I am an Applied Physics major.

That means my comments don't have any value.

Goodness me, you need the proper university degree to even post here.

But seriously, I have known some people who have been so bored in their relationship, and they don't really care. It is sad, but they have no interest in their partner.

Probably too lazy or whatever to end it properly.

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I agree with you and those kind of relationships will never last over here..Thank God we have so much fun in our marriage...it's really great to do things and see new places and meet people of all lands and cultures...it is really the "life " experience university isn't it?

..." I was waiting for our son and his friend and I fell asleep in the car"" Now, this is after our son and his 22 year old friend had come back home and gone to bed. The other one was "I got lost so I stopped in and had a massage and it felt so good I had two of them"

This guy is an absolute Master ! This is gold dust !

Mum - to have a 22 year old, must be a bit frayed at the edges now, bless her.

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ha ha I am frayed, I said I was married...but because I am married, I also have to have a sense a humour

Statistically, there isn't enough of a benchmark group here to make any inductions.

But its 3 for 3 in terms of claiming thoroughly good chaps as husbands. (Ok 2.5 for 3 as Mrs Merlin kinda fears the worst). If extrapolated across a wider sample, those numbers don't seem to stack up realistically.

Would wives want to know though? If its kept in the brothel its fairly unthreatening.

As I used to say to the guys I was asked to fix up with nubile teenies, "Its all very well if you can just have a bit of one-night fun, but beware the 'bolt of lightning'..that one day one of these little ingenues might just touch your heart....because thats when your real trouble starts."

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In these days of AIDS? Oh absolutely I would want to know.

Honesty means far more to me than security, frankly, and just the fact of the deception would probably hurt me more than the fact of the physical act (as long as he stayed clean, that is). If I couldn't trust my husband how could I stay with him? How could I continue a relationship based on lies and dishonesty? Why would I waste my life on someone who had so little respect for me that they would do such a thing?

And no madsere, I am not divorced, nor a lesbian, nor living in Afghanistan. In fact I have been happily married for 15 years. But I do respect myself and I do have standards of behavior that I expect (just as my husband does). Pity we don't all apply the same standards to our own behavior that we expect of others.

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I figure I have too much to kive for and just not enough to die for through diseases.. that my mate brought home

Let this be the screenplay of the Boo Household.

Mrs Boo "Mr Boo can you explain this lipstick stain on your collar?"

Mr Boo "Yeah, but no but, I was in the pub right, and this girl came over to my mate Wayne, yeah, anyway, he's only got one ball right, and she didn't believe him, so she had her hand down 'is trouser, and then Nigel said I was a nob and I came over right, and then she turned round, and slipped and fell against my shirt and anyway its not my fault."

Men were invented in Thailand in 1873, so that women could play mixed doubles at tennis.

Moog, Very funny , maybe you could explain to Tukleith as he's being trying to figure out my avatar signature for a while. Don't you just love that programme

I'm a laideee you know

I'm revealing the secrets of the Temple here Steven !

Here's a husbandly trick - especially if he can't stay out  late....

Its..... the soapland massage parlours that are open during his lunch hour. A married lawyer from Leeds, UK that I know used to go to one every day.

So how do you know ?

Easy. Smell him.

The soap suds they use are quite fraqrant and the scent lingers. If he comes home smelling like Fairy Liquid - gotcha !

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That's an easy way to catch an amateur, but at a professional level, you should at least run part of the way home to get rid of the washed smell and replace it with the "I've been out all day in the heat smell". Of course damp hair is a definate no no.

I work in a government department in HK. I have about 100 male colleagues.

I was chatting with one of them one day when one other passed by. My friend then started saying this guy's name and said "the only one! the only one!". I couldn't understand what he meant so I asked him what he was talking about. He then said "the only one who doesn't visit prostitutes in our department." I doubtedly then asked " Is it that serious?".

We then started off a survey shockingly found out that, we can count with our 10 fingers the number of guys we are not sure if they visit prostitutes or not out of the 100. The remaining 90 do.

I wonder how many of their wives know.

But this is HK, I have no idea what the west is like.

But I think truth hurts.

I hope I did not sound like a prick for being honest.

Somehow I think not knowing the truth is better.

Edited February 14, 200521 yr by meemiathai

As a Permanent resident of HK thats where I based my 99% statistical assumptions from - but that included other Asian countries. Business Trips.

You're coming up with 90% - and that's mainly local (and the P4P scene in HK is irredeemably scungy)

In Hong Kong some husbands used 'Kai Tak Rules' (when you fly out of Kai Tak you're not bound by rules of fidelity.

Daresay its 99.9% in Bangkok

Edited February 14, 200521 yr by The_Moog

(and the P4P scene in HK is irredeemably scungy)

What is P4P?

What is scungy? Can't find then in the dictionary.

I guess you are aware of the changing of the "Kai Tak rules".

They are now "Chek Lap Kok rules"

P4P ='Pay for play'

Scungy means very horribly dirty. The sort of thing you find in Shanghai Street in Kowloon.

My former Boss never felt he was wasting money on hostesses, even when he spent US$2000 on three beers in Hong Kong (with no naughtiness whatsoever that time)

"If I don't spend it, my wife will." he said.

One of the key components to a former job I did was to get my married Bosses laid when on business trips. 99 out of 100 are up for it.

I think your former job may have clouded your vision. Had you been a librarian at a monestary you would probably have an equally erroneous view of men, though in the other direction.

I don't screw around, and neither do all of the next 99 men I know. Some are too weak to make a commitment, but many have the fortitude to keep their vows. You just hang around the wrong people if your views are this slanted.

For some men, our word is more important than our dicks.

cv

Good post ! I'm a 35 y/o male, considered attractive, been in LOS 8+years and not married. And I have never payed for sex, or slept with 1 night stands or BGs. My friend recently came over from Japan for a visit, and though I hooked him up with some "playuh" friends of mine to go on the town with, he wasn't into it. He took a massage course at Wat Pho, and visited temples, beach etc.. He is an old school chum also 35, single and considered attractive. We are both English and pasty faced, adn before you ask, not gay. The idea that men are all after sex, sorry, 99%, is just nonsense.

I work in a government department in HK.  I have about 100 male colleagues.

I was chatting with one of them one day when one other passed by.  My friend then started saying this guy's name and said "the only one! the only one!".  I couldn't understand what he meant so I asked him what he was talking about.  He then said "the only one who doesn't visit prostitutes in our department."  I doubtedly then asked " Is it that serious?".

We then started off a survey shockingly found out that, we can count with our 10 fingers the number of guys we are not sure if they visit prostitutes or not out of the 100. The remaining 90 do. 

I wonder how many of their wives know.

But this is HK, I have no idea what the west is like.

But I think truth hurts.

I hope I did not sound like a prick for being honest.

Somehow I think not knowing the truth is better.

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When I was working for a Chinese company, we had frequent visitors from HQ in HKG.Not one of them...and I mean not one didn't either have a second wife or asked directions to the nearest "rub and tug"...all were married as well.