Reservations About Having A Mixed Child

[dmax]

are you for real ???????

[Sakeopete]

My only concern is if my kids want to stay in Thailand will they be discriminated against because they are very falang looking. They are both Canadian citizens also so they have a choice of where to settle.

[anon345535]

i had similar thoughts to the OP when i learned i was going to be a father. my main "concern" was if she would even look anything like me.

i don't think she does but i take great pleasure in saying she also looks absolutely nothing like her mother and i think she is the most beautiful thing in this world. i suspect you would feel the same about your child/children

i don't think she looks thai at all. she has 2 cousins who are also mixed race they both share the same father but the eldest looks 100% thai whereas the youngest doesn't look remotely asian

Edited February 11, 2010 by c411um

[richm7]

I know aspects of this topic have been covered before, but I was wondering if anyone out there has ever decided NOT to have a mixed race (thai/farang) kid for whatever reason? I'm still in my early twenties and having kids is a far-off goal, but thinking about it has seriously made me think about whether it's moral for me to keep staying in a relationship with a gf I'd never want kids with. I know this sounds trite, but one of the main things I'd worry about is that my kid would be short... I'm average height (5'10'') but with the gf, I don't think he (if) would ever be over 5'7'' If the kid has other problems, being short could seriously mess him up. Also, I'm worried he'll have jet black hair or eyes, despite the fact I've heard that half asian kids can be blonde (like their father, me). If he were to ever live in the US, I wouldn't want him characterized with Mexicans, Mediterraneans, or other Asians for his complexion- it's racist I know, but it's a reality that people discriminate in the US. So what do people think? Do are mixed kids looked on as handsome in your home countries, am I overthinking it?

what a stupid bloody post,,,my wifes just after having a beautifull baby girl ,,she now 3 mths old and absolutely nothing wotsoever wrong with her,,,whats behind ur thinking????

Message to the original poster:

I guess by now you realize that you've fired up quite a lot of people, me included.

There's a common base why all the posters are riled up but of course all of the posters will also have their own slant.

I want to share with you why I'm riled up by your post. The thing that way above anything else in life gets me angry is people who mother or father children and then don't take care of them and this is regardless of what they look like.

I have given my Thai born son as much love as I could find all of his life, and it happened automatically, and to some extent because I unconsciously repeated the experience I luckily had as a child. His welfare, his development, his education has always been my utmost priority in life, and I have never thought about his appearance, his height etc., etc., but in fact his face is Asian and yes he does have black hair.

Just one small long-term result is that I now enjoy a wonderful son/best friend relationship with my son and I cherish this enormously, and it gets comments from others about how close we are and the devotion in both directions.

And what gives me enormous joy today is that my son (and his lovely Thai wife) are now repeating the same devotion and caring for their young daughter. There is no discussion whatever about her appearance, but what does ocassionally get mentioned is the good fortune that she's very healthy.

For me, as I get older, caring for my Thai born son, his wife and their young daughter is now my life work and I am passsionately devoted to this duty and this love.

And I'm going to guess there are many other posters who would share all of the above sentiments.

I really hope you might do some serious rethinking about life.

What a lovely post. Really shows you reap what you sow. Congratulations.

As for the OP, here's some unemotive comments..............

First, he writes very well, so he's clearly well educated. O.K. lots of educated idiots but I don't think so in this case. Just young.

Second, we all worry about how our kids will turn out, both before and after they're born. I hope that before they're born we worry that they'll be O.K., no birth defects etc., but we also wish for them to be beautiful, because that is embedded in our genetic makeup, we can't help it. Fortunately, when they are born, even if they fail the first concern and do have a birth defect, they ARE beautiful because, luckily for most of us, we can't help it. They're ours, so of course they're beautiful. OP is projecting into the future and worrying about discrimination and for anyone who has spent any real time in (especially) the Southern States he has some justification. That's easy to fix. Keep away from redneck states. Sadly though the world is full of bigots, so no matter where you are discrimination will happen. Blimey, farangs are discriminated against in Thailand. Anything that makes you different is likely to get the all-look-the-same herd against you. So, bugger your luck if you have a big nose, sticky out ears or no chin (or countless other "discriminators"), you'll be a target. It's called life. For what it's worth I think his concerns are groundless and that generally speaking kids of mixed race actually get less of that crap than, say, a pure Thai might get. Yes, they're different, but mostly in a cute way. My friend's two luk kreung have just started school in the US and despite being older and having weak english they are very popular at school. It's not always negative.

Third, OP has been accused of being racist. I doubt that. Racist don't generally have proper relationships with other races, for obvious reasons. OP is worring about children so I have to guess he's serious about the GF, so racist he is not.

Finally it is difficult to tell what your kids will look like. I'm ugly, but my kids are beautiful. My older daughter is four inches taller than her mother who is 5'2" and my younger has a farang face and is darker than her mother. They call her "farang dam". I have friends with luk kreung who look totally Thai or totally farang, you just can't tell how they'll look. We all think they are beautiful though, and that's all that matters.

Worrying about your kids and everything around them is perfectly natural and normal. You worry about them from the moment you know the bun is in the oven until the day (hopefully before them) you die. They're a pain in the arse but I wouldn't give them up for the world.

[bkkjames]

the only reservation I have is finding time to have the next one..

[Traxster]

Oh fercrisskaes..........

if that's how you feel,

don't have any kids !!!

[keestha]

My only concern is if my kids want to stay in Thailand will they be discriminated against because they are very falang looking. They are both Canadian citizens also so they have a choice of where to settle.

I share your concern. Sure the usually cute young Thai/Farang children are not discriminated against in Thailand, but what when they have grown up? Does anybody with adult "look kreung" have a comment on this? Or maybe somebody who is "look kreung" himself/herself?

Edited February 14, 2010 by keestha