Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Thailand News and Discussion Forum | ASEANNOW

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Thai Gf Parents Want Money Cos We Are "engaged" - We Are Not

Featured Replies

Hello,

been living with my Thai gf here in bangkok for a few months although we have dated for over a year. Today went to her parents house because her mother wanted to speak to us. Should point out that she is from a poor family.

They told us today they want 100,000 or 200,000 bhat plus gold because we are now "something".....this was all in Thai..but gf explained it as "kind of engaged".

I quietly thought ...<deleted>?.... we are not engaged and are still at early stages of living together in a full on relationship.

I have read that dowrys still exist here for marriage but has anyone heard of a custom of giving alot of money to the parents just to date the daughter. my gf could not explain it well. Also a little bit flustered because her family has not been especially friendly so far but today were all smiles. hmmm.

Thanks.

  • Replies 324
  • Views 19.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Livinginexile
    Livinginexile

    Why say that? "more than happy to pay the sinsod" Only fat/ugly/old farang men need to pay sinsot. The rest of us get love for free!

Dump her, double quick.

If she stalks you, change address.

Run Awaaaaay!

You are not dating here if you are living together - that is marriage in there eyes.

You are not dating here if you are living together - that is marriage in there eyes.

... and now you have the invoice.

What does your girlfriend think of the demand for money?

Hopefully she is embarrassed by it as it's a try on for sure.

Sinsod is paid over when your married, not as an advance because they are hard up this week.

Up to you , but if I were you I would try to go out of the parents way.

And later in this office a so called "run rabbit run brigade" will come marching up.

erg...while I was writing they are here already :)

RUN!

Move to India. There, the girl's parents will pay you.

If you are a 60 year old bald fat man with a stunning young Issan lady,then pay the money,and enjoy life with some little hotty...However,if it's a normal relationship,then maybe you should negotiate a settlement.. http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=...at_exercise.flv But if she looks like that video,then you RUN! :)

For goodness sake, try to understand the culture here.

troll1.jpg
troll1.jpg

DINGDONGRB???? What you doing there? :)

Ignore them - if gf has issues with that then she knows where the door is.

  • Author

troll?

lots of arrogant jerks here...you do not know me or anything about me or my gf...get lost if you have nothing useful to say, otherwise this is a forum for free discussion...thanks to antone who answers maturely.

  • Author

troll? so this forum has its resident seen it all, tiresome thought police?

lots of arrogant jerks here...you do not know me or anything about me or my gf...get lost if you have nothing useful to say - nobody is forcing you to comment, otherwise this is a forum for free discussion...thanks to anyone who answers maturely.

Edited by kaosoi

has anyone heard of a custom of giving alot of money to the parents just to date the daughter.

Poor girl and foreigner - happens alll the time.

Simple answer - NO it's not right. Tell them where to go.

If you get married, give them some cash - about 100,000 is more than enough for a poor family.

Gived the guy a break - why would he make it up?

This forum is for exactly this type of question - if you are not interested stay away.

has anyone heard of a custom of giving alot of money to the parents just to date the daughter.

Poor girl and foreigner - happens alll the time.

Simple answer - NO it's not right. Tell them where to go.

If you get married, give them some cash - about 100,000 is more than enough for a poor family.

Very true, thats plenty, girls marrying thai men in the country IF in love have been known to give 10000 baht, my sister in law for one, and shes a diamond, he had a bargain ! ,the parents are just happy that shes happy,.and they are,. :)
troll?

lots of arrogant jerks here...you do not know me or anything about me or my gf...get lost if you have nothing useful to say, otherwise this is a forum for free discussion...thanks to antone who answers maturely.

Do a search on this topic of paying in-laws.

Edited by Garry9999

  • Author

thanks Neeranam...someone who understands what a forum is......

I'd say something to the parents along these lines " if we do decide to get married and make a life together, I'll be more than happy to pay the sinsod, but for now we are seeing if we are compatible".  Your gf should also be on your side and telling the parents that this is not a normal thing to ask for a huge amount of money because you are living together.  Sounds to me like they want to milk you, but that's just an outside opinion from someone that doesn't know any of the parties involved.

thanks Neeranam...someone who understands what a forum is......

Did you ask your g/f WHY they want money?

Ask her what part of Thai tradition requires a man to pay for a g/f.

Then get back to us with the answer.

I'd say something to the parents along these lines " if we do decide to get married and make a life together, I'll be more than happy to pay the sinsod, but for now we are seeing if we are compatible".  Your gf should also be on your side and telling the parents that this is not a normal thing to ask for a huge amount of money because you are living together.  Sounds to me like they want to milk you, but that's just an outside opinion from someone that doesn't know any of the parties involved.

Why say that?

"more than happy to pay the sinsod" :)

Only fat/ugly/old farang men need to pay sinsot.

The rest of us get love for free!

Hello,

been living with my Thai gf here in bangkok for a few months although we have dated for over a year. Today went to her parents house because her mother wanted to speak to us. Should point out that she is from a poor family.

They told us today they want 100,000 or 200,000 bhat plus gold because we are now "something".....this was all in Thai..but gf explained it as "kind of engaged".

I quietly thought ...<deleted>?.... we are not engaged and are still at early stages of living together in a full on relationship.

I have read that dowrys still exist here for marriage but has anyone heard of a custom of giving alot of money to the parents just to date the daughter. my gf could not explain it well. Also a little bit flustered because her family has not been especially friendly so far but today were all smiles. hmmm.

Thanks.

As stated several times the custom of payment is for marriage, not dating. However, that being said, there is no law against breaking with tradition. I never paid anything to my wife's parents prior to marriage or after. It was simple - my wife had lived on her own for many years and believed that OUR money be saved for OUR family. Therefore no dowry. She was the only young Thai that I found that shared my beliefs. For me it would have been a deal breaker.

That being said, it's really what your gf's position is in all of this. If she is encouraging you to pay, I would tell her it's not your way and that if that is what she believes is correct, then it's good that you found out now, and have a good life. You don't want her to live with guilt by not following through with what she believes in and thereby complying with her parent's wishes, and you don't want to live with resentment should you cave in and pay. So best to part amicably at this point in time if no resolution.

Unless we have proof someone is a troll it is best to regard the question as a sincere one, who needs answering. if you don't want to answer it, that is also fine. But start shouting troll at every newbie is not going to help. So please refrain from that and consider if the question is worth answering.

I'd say something to the parents along these lines " if we do decide to get married and make a life together, I'll be more than happy to pay the sinsod, but for now we are seeing if we are compatible".  Your gf should also be on your side and telling the parents that this is not a normal thing to ask for a huge amount of money because you are living together.  Sounds to me like they want to milk you, but that's just an outside opinion from someone that doesn't know any of the parties involved.

Why be happy to pay sinsod? Not necessary if you find a Thai lady that is truly compatible.

Move to India. There, the girl's parents will pay you.

Wow, really?

To the OP: seems mommy trowed out the bait, now she's in for a catch.

I'd say something to the parents along these lines " if we do decide to get married and make a life together, I'll be more than happy to pay the sinsod, but for now we are seeing if we are compatible".  Your gf should also be on your side and telling the parents that this is not a normal thing to ask for a huge amount of money because you are living together.  Sounds to me like they want to milk you, but that's just an outside opinion from someone that doesn't know any of the parties involved.

Why say that?

"more than happy to pay the sinsod" :)

Only fat/ugly/old farang men need to pay sinsot.

My middle class respectable Thai friend's Thai son is planning on getting married to his Thai girlfriend next year. The parents have just started discussing how much the sinsod should be.

Living together, is not dating in my eyes, but then again I'm not 21 anymore. If you have moved in together, then you should show some sort of commitment to the family.

Create an account or sign in to comment

Recently Browsing 0

  • No registered users viewing this page.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.