I got a new car radio yesterday and it is terrific.

If I say "Rock" it plays rock and roll.

If I say "Rap" it plays rap.

If I say "Love" it plays love songs.

Three kids ran out in front of the car

and I said

"<deleted>*king kids!"

And it played Michael Jackson.

And have you seen Exhibit A in the MJ trial?

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?

A: Because they aren't his!

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

A: Get out of my sun!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?

A: Throw him a buoy!

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??

A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?

A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.

Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?

A: Several children have fingered him.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?

A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.

Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?

A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.

Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?

A. When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?

A. Michael Jackson's hand.

Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night?

A. Hanson.

Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.

Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?

A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?

A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?

A: Two 5 year olds.

Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...

Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?

Michael: Yeah, ok, can we get Aladdin?

Janet: No, just a pizza and video

Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?

A: Michael Jackson

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?

A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.

Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?

A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson.

If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.

FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house...

They found class A drugs in his kitchen,

Class B drugs in his living room and

Class 5C in his bedroom.

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.

The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"

"I'd wait until he's at least 14," the doctor replies.

Now....

What shall I wear in court?