Why Would She Do This?

[JasonM]

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

[DP25]

Like she said, you and her is finished.

[yabaaaa]

Look familiar?

[ThaiPauly]

Sorry to say this but I think you have been stitched up.

Some Thai gals are very good at it.

Bad luck...move on

[sibeymai]

It certainly sounds like she used you. Time to move on.

[tim armstrong]

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

Try to put your emotions to one side for a minute and then ask yourself - have I been tricked ? - what answer do you get? Hopefully you already know the pecking order in many Thai womens' minds : 1.parents 2. children if any 3. extended family 4. husband.. Sorry to hear about your loss, but there are some lessons in the story. Regards

[hughben]

She duped you. Count yourself lucky it was only 50K bht. If you were prepared to pay that now, she could have continued the scam and milked you dry.

If anyone asked me for money like that anywhere I would smell a rat.

Why in Thailand do people lose their marbles?

[jtp]

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

It DOES sound like she used you on the surface of it all,however it is very easy to jump to the wrong conclusion when emotions are running high.You have been with her 5 months,she hit you up for 50,000,it's really just small money,and she did use it as she told you she would.That's a lot of time(5 months) to stay with you for the total sum of 50,000 baht as a scam...Give it a few weeks,don't annoy her,i bet she comes back to you.It is very probable she has been hurt badly before(Promised to help) never came...And maybe it brought back those memories.If she promised that money to someone,and it didn't turn up,lots of embarrassment for her and her family.

[tijnebijn]

Seems its likely , that she as most Thais see us foreigners , as a possible ATM machine ,

perhaps yours can do without lots , but it seems she got really angry not getting those 50k .

Seems likely she was looking for some easy money quick . After having some fun time with you ,

she probably enjoyed it , but the main thing is many of those girls look for Farang to cash somethin in .

If I were you don't look for any answers , keep the quiet game is best with Thais , if she really likes/loves

you as you feel for her she will and should respond , she already knows you are looking for an explanation .

Don't get in the guilty feeling trap game if she responds , and don't give her any money .

Seems as she is finished with you , and looking for the 50k elsewhere .....

Good luck anyways ,

[paulh1978]

plenty more fish in the sea mate

theirs loads of nice thai girls out there just keep looking

[JasonM]

I know its alot of money for a thai, but what makes me confused is that she has never asked for anything while i was in US for months. The way she asked me for the money was not forcing in anyway. She said if i said no it was ok. My first reaction was that i had to think about it, so i didnt say anything for days. Then when we got into a discussion about her working hard i said i can help you with the land since she wanted to help her mom. I didnt think anything "tricky" about it. And i have always been good at seeing other peoples true character, i cannot see her as someone who tricks someone. We were joking about farang thai relationships, she said she hated girls like this.

But will see tomorrow, if it was our fight and she loves me as she said before, then she will message me back tomorrow or make contact. If she ignores me again i know i have been tricked for sure. When she said she wanted to marrie me and if she was honest about this, she will not make this suddenly go weeks after. Weirdest thing ever. If it turns out she had been tricking me i will have a hard time trusting any thai girl in the future. I cannot think someone can cry over you and at the same time fool you. Will update tomorrow

Edited August 8, 2009 by JasonM

[mauGR1]

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

Hi Jason,don't be upset if i tell you i was like you many years ago.After reading "The Idiot",a classic from Russian writer Fjodor Dostojevski i see things in a different way.More cynical?Maybe..

For some reasons Westerners with a Christian imput feel guilty when meeting (supposedly) poorer people..

But when you want to help somebody,better be sure that somebody deserves your efforts,otherwise you're wasting your energy.

[Moonrakers]

Her having to wait for the money might have been an indication to her that you do not have an endless pit of cash to draw from.

[givenall]

I know its alot of money for a thai, but what makes me confused is that she has never asked for anything while i was in US for months. The way she asked me for the money was not forcing in anyway. She said if i said no it was ok. My first reaction was that i had to think about it, so i didnt say anything for days. Then when we got into a discussion about her working hard i said i can help you with the land since she wanted to help her mom. I didnt think anything "tricky" about it. And i have always been good at seeing other peoples true character, i cannot see her as someone who tricks someone. We were joking about farang thai relationships, she said she hated girls like this.

But will see tomorrow, if it was our fight and she loves me as she said before, then she will message me back tomorrow or make contact. If she ignores me again i know i have been tricked for sure. When she said she wanted to marrie me and if she was honest about this, she will not make this suddenly go weeks after. Weirdest thing ever. If it turns out she had been tricking me i will have a hard time trusting any thai girl in the future. I cannot think someone can cry over you and at the same time fool you. Will update tomorrow

According to my Thai GF, Thailand would be a perfect place if only there were no Thai people here

[sunholidaysun1]

Didnt you ever read Anything about Thailand before you came to the LOS - LOSS OF SAVINGS ?

Its your own fault ,you are just one of hundreds that get duped every DAY.

Now your experienced , you shouldnt let it happen again .

[moe666]

Don't think about as being tricked, she asked you offered and gave. As some say move on. There is always another one behind that one. Also in Thailand you never loose your girlfriend just your place in line.

[JasonM]

Didnt you ever read Anything about Thailand before you came to the LOS - LOSS OF SAVINGS ?

Its your own fault ,you are just one of hundreds that get duped every DAY.

Now your experienced , you shouldnt let it happen again .

No i am not experienced in any way since she hasnt given me any reason yet. If in fact she has tricked me it is impossible for anyone to be safe with a thai woman. Because if she is so clever that she waits many months for asking about money, she can cry about you, show you to her family, let you become good friends with her friends and THEN give you the finger. Well, if this is the case. Then you are dealing with one disturbed woman. I cannot believe my girl is like that. If she dont respond tomorrow .... well then i dont know what to write. Even if she is angry about our fight, if anything she has said to me is true then she will contact me. You dont go from saying i love you and want to move in with you to ditching you without reason after 1 week ! Thats insane. If a thai girl can actually be like this then i will definetaly stay long away from these girls in the future. Thats crazy, i have no words for it.

I cant believe it, if she wanted to trick me from the start then why show me where she lives and where her parents live ? I could easily take my revenge upon her 10 folds. But i am not like that, but is this a chance she wanted to take? Well dont understand this situation. Hope seriously she contacts me tomorrow.

Edited August 8, 2009 by JasonM

[AndyBlueEyes]

The type of Thai women that most farangs are likely to meet in LOS are like parking meters--If you don't feed them with enough money

you most likely will face serious consequences. Tell her you will continually provide large amounts of money for her and her family and her

extended family and she will most likely be back in your arms tomorrow. Paying money for love is just part of the big game in LOS. If you

don't like the game--get smart and move on with your life.

[Birdman]

Didnt you ever read Anything about Thailand before you came to the LOS - LOSS OF SAVINGS ?

Its your own fault ,you are just one of hundreds that get duped every DAY.

Now your experienced , you shouldnt let it happen again .

No i am not experienced in any way since she hasnt given me any reason yet. If in fact she has tricked me it is impossible for anyone to be safe with a thai woman. Because if she is so clever that she waits many months for asking about money, she can cry about you, show you to her family, let you become good friends with her friends and THEN give you the finger. Well, if this is the case. Then you are dealing with one disturbed woman. I cannot believe my girl is like that. If she dont respond tomorrow .... well then i dont know what to write. Even if she is angry about our fight, if anything she has said to me is true then she will contact me. You dont go from saying i love you and want to move in with you to ditching you without reason after 1 week ! Thats insane. If a thai girl can actually be like this then i will definetaly stay long away from these girls in the future. Thats crazy, i have no words for it.

I cant believe it, if she wanted to trick me from the start then why show me where she lives and where her parents live ? I could easily take my revenge upon her 10 folds. But i am not like that, but is this a chance she wanted to take? Well dont understand this situation. Hope seriously she contacts me tomorrow.

You can do nothing. You want to hurt them, they will not let you get away with that. Be carefull.

Let it be, move away...

[DP25]

If in fact she has tricked me it is impossible for anyone to be safe with a thai woman.

Don't be ridiculous, totally untrue.

I cant believe it, if she wanted to trick me from the start then why show me where she lives and where her parents live ? I could easily take my revenge upon her 10 folds. But i am not like that, but is this a chance she wanted to take? Well dont understand this situation. Hope seriously she contacts me tomorrow.

Trying to take revenge is a good way to end up dead or in a Thai prison. Forget her and move on.

[G54]

Another one is tricked/conned into losing his money.

Yes, you have paid your share towards HER land. It also took too long for you to transfer the money. Be grateful the transfer took some time as she has most likely seen it as a sign you cannot keep her financially in the way she hoped.

She has what she really wanted and is now looking for another to take for a ride, or a steady Thai man to help her build the house.

50K Baht is not a lot to lose and TBH it is not that expensive a way to learn the ropes about many Thai women.

Next time you will be a wiser man for this escapade.

[IanForbes]

It cost me a whole lot more than 50,000 baht to learn a valuable lesson from my two Canadian marriages that ended in divorce. Try 9 million baht! And, then have to split that after a year because some law says you have to share equally. Nothing is fair in break-ups. It is better to learn your lessons when you are young and not repeat the same mistakes over and over. Be happy that is all you lost. 50 k is the price of a nice Honda scooter. Consider it a gift to your ex girlfriend. The emotional scars will eventually heal and you'll be better off for it in the long run.

[grandslam]

Another one is tricked/conned into losing his money.

Yes, you have paid your share towards HER land. It also took too long for you to transfer the money. Be grateful the transfer took some time as she has most likely seen it as a sign you cannot keep her financially in the way she hoped.

She has what she really wanted and is now looking for another to take for a ride, or a steady Thai man to help her build the house.

50K Baht is not a lot to lose and TBH it is not that expensive a way to learn the ropes about many Thai women.

Next time you will be a wiser man for this escapade.

Yep. It is very small beer young man, take all the advice above and be thankfull brother.

[Carib]

50.000 for 5 months... Do the math.. It could have been worse. Don't go back, someone who without any reason does something like this is just trouble, possibly looking for to be "bought" back.

[jackdanielsesq]

Didnt you have 3 successful businesses last time ya posted and couldnt decide on a Bday gift?

BR>Jack

[britmaveric]

She did u a favour - chalk it up to experience and move on. Never lend dosh to a person with the expectation it will ever be returned. More times than not you get ripped. She prob moved on to the next lad.

[JasonM]

Not thinking about the money, but wondering more if she pretended to like me. Hope she gives me answer tomorrow. If she met someone else fine ! She angry with me and has doubts fine! I am ok with all those reasons, its her life, her decisions. But if she has been playing a game then something is very wrong with this girl, since she was so against girls like this. I have to find out so i know what to watch out for next time. But i will be trapped next time just as easy, how the heck can you believe someone is lying when they have tears down theyre chin and say they love you so much? Its impossible. If she has been playing me i cant be with a thai woman period, i can never trust em.

[britmaveric]

Same Same, but different!!

[IanForbes]

Not thinking about the money, but wondering more if she pretended to like me. Hope she gives me answer tomorrow. If she met someone else fine ! She angry with me and has doubts fine! I am ok with all those reasons, its her life, her decisions. But if she has been playing a game then something is very wrong with this girl, since she was so against girls like this. I have to find out so i know what to watch out for next time. But i will be trapped next time just as easy, how the heck can you believe someone is lying when they have tears down theyre chin and say they love you so much? Its impossible. If she has been playing me i cant be with a thai woman period, i can never trust em.

I know it doesn't make sense, Jason, but many women act that way... everywhere. I think she probably DID or DOES like you, but she has personal problems that you can't help no matter how much money you throw her way, or how many times you say you love her. I can't recall all the number of women who I've met over the years who acted totally irrational. I had a step son who acted the same way and he's now 36 and still not grown up. It's a learning experience for you and one that only you can decide what to do. But, I would take the advice from the others here and end the relationship. Leave it as a relatively cheap lesson well learned.

[britmaveric]

Also Thai(s) in general don't like giving someone bad news, so they avoid it. So I wouldnt be surprised if you never hear from her again!

Edited August 8, 2009 by britmaveric