Hostility Towards Farang Women?

[sbaker8688]

if you disagree with my posts you obviously have senility then as I am only reading what YOU posted & giving my opinion to it, but you don't like that do you

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Has nothing to do with likes or dislikes. I can assure you I'm not that emotional and don't take things nearly that personal.

But I did "like" your post about the "duck syndrome." Question: You say there are so many stories on this (I believe you). Are these women punished to any significant degree? If they were, you'd think there wouldn't be nearly as much of it as there apparently is. Like I said, my last Thai GF threatened me with it, but I thought it was a joke.

Are there any real punishments? Or just slaps on the wrist?

Have there been felong victims?

[kat]

You're a fine one to tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about, lol. You haven't even got an inkling of a clue.

[Sir Burr]

I always hold open doors  and carry things for girls, I have never recived abuse for it. Maybe you are doing it in a condesending way, with myself it is just a courtesy and practical as I am a strapping fella and I can lift eavy fings. Chivalry is not in conflict with feminism, I suppose I have never been acused of chauvanism because I am not: and have as many female mates as male ones. Women are my equal and I treat them as such, Thats why I would feel uncomfortable in a relationship that was not built on equality

Erm....how do you open a door for a complete stranger condescendingly????

a pat on the bum and calling her pettle or treasure...I hold the door open for the next person through, regardless of sex, as I said chivalry is not dead and not in conflict with feminism...I don't rush up to open doors just because a woman is coming through, I just hold it open for the next person...maybe you were leering or something? I dunno I wasn't there.

( (sigh) - Speaking very slowly in a condescending way) Toastwars - I opened the door and held it open for a complete stranger. No comment was made by me, I did'nt smirk or, get my todger out and wave it in her face, and got a ration of sh1t for my efforts. End of story. This is definitely my last post regarding opening a door. Harrumph! Harrumph!

Edited March 9, 2005 by Sir Burr

[Shola]

WHY is it sbaker, that you continiue to defend yourself, when you make an openly hostile post about western women to women (most of whom western) on a womens thread?

Are you a glutton for punishment or what??

Perhaps an apology for the offence you cuased and a simple clarification of your reasons for moving to LOS (to find an eastern girl) would have been sufficiant to get you a happy welcome from all. Seems to me you enjoy cuasing distress to women and then relish/encourage the aftermath of the disturbance so as point your finger and say 'Ner ner, I told you, you were all femenist/bisexual/masculine man haters'.

Khun Larry, this is not man bashing but human beings defending thier selves against anothers slander. I suggest you read the thread from the begining.

[Lola8288]

I've remained silent till now, but here I can't help it.

I'm western.

I'm a woman.

Here is what you said, sbaker :

"I find that western women have a deep down hostility against men, they have attitude, they are impossible to please, they are only out for themselves, they frequently have multiple mental, psychological, and other disorders, they are frequently bisexual, and they do not appreaciate you as a man.you can still find desirable women in eastern places (asia, eastern europe, Russia, etc.) but not in the west. Western women have serious underlying (######, maybe a better term would be "overlying" LOL) issues with men."

Are you stupid enough not to know that our own attitudes and background will lead us to encounter and get to know more often some kind of people than other kinds ? That the attitudes you describe have maybe nothing to do with being an american woman, but just with your bad luck in your encounters ? with your attitude towards them ? Do you know every single woman in the west so you can tell none of them is desirable ? You know the answer. I don't have issues with anyone, nor man or woman, nor with anyone expressing their opinions, I do have issue with people making such discriminatory comments anyway. It is obvious to me that you are very hostile to western women, which includes me and the others ladies here on this forum, where as we haven't been hostile to you.

"It's always there, either under the surface or even above it, and it's easy to detect. I complained about, and continue to complain about, western (particularly American) women's hostility to men. Hostility like yours. Sometimes overt. Sometimes covert. Always there. Always lurking. Always resenting men. Always holding men responsible for some perceived "injustice." Always out on some mission to correct said perceived "injustice." "

I read the whole thread pretty carefully, and I couldn't find this hostility that you're pointing at so constantly anywhere as obvious as in YOUR posts. Where is that hostility, really ? Most of the post here tried to point out at positive things, and I was rather surprised the ladies here where so patient and nice in there answers. Hostility, if you still perceived some, was merely in response to your previous hateful posts. Which has nothing to do with feminism, but simply with HUMAN's feeling being hurt. I do admire them, for not responding to your obvious hostility with more strong words. I can understand you had bad experiences before, and met the wrong persons, but you just have no point here.

"Nobody wants a western woman"

So you know all about everyone, and what's on their mind, and what they want ?

BTW, when did you hear me say that no one wants a western guy ? Which is a statement I could make if I followed your exemple and twisted logic, since noone of my female western friends would date a western guy. BUT, I happen to know that western guys DO get married, and loved, and, for your information, so do western girls. And to others than guys who don't have a choice.

I do not want a western woman.

Why didn't you just stop there ? Or, more properly, why didn't you just say what you want, if you're such a "live and let live" kind of guy ? you can want a little, tall, blonde, brune, black, white, yellow, blue or green or whatever pleases you kind of girl, I don't give a ######. I wish you well, and hope you find it. You're bitter and want to tell everybody what kind of woman you don't want ? Fine by me. But don't just go and try to explain that all american women are just crazy selfish lesbian feminazi that no man in his right senses would wanna marry. Everybody wants to love and be loved, have a healthy relationship, and so on. No one wants to receive hostility from his/her partner. But that has nothing to do with nationality. The sooner you realize this, the better. For you. Western women are as tender, and caring, and gentle, and understanding as eastern ones. Everybody is different, east and west have differences of cultures, but at the end it all comes down to this : we're all humans, we have different ways of expressing ourselves, but love is the same no matter where you're from. Maybe you don't express it in the same ways, maybe you don't see where it is, but hey, it's still there. You just failed to see it.

[britmaveric]

Lola- let the lad continue. He's digging his own grave!!!

[Lola8288]

[meds]

Hoohaa....

To make some kind of general reply on some posts:

Well dudes, doesn´t it just suck that the times have changed and western women are all of the sudden allowed to be as self centered as men has allways been able to, in relationships (foremost)?

You dudes, try picturing these difficult to be with women as any bloke you ever met - does it ring a bell somewhere?

Equiality between sexes is rising, my bretheren... but stop ######ing whyning about it and be men about it... if that´s what you claim to be.

For all you dudes that are more mice than men, this message do not apply - of course you feel discomfort with someone that migt squash you beneath her heal, everybody understands and pities you.

// Meds (man, or at least claiming to be - guess the future will tell =)

[Jai Dee]

Hoohaa....

To make some kind of general reply on some posts:

Well dudes, doesn´t it just suck that the times have changed and western women are all of the sudden allowed to be as self centered as men has allways been able to, in relationships (foremost)?

You dudes, try picturing these difficult to be with women as any bloke you ever met - does it ring a bell somewhere?

Equiality between sexes is rising, my bretheren... but stop ######ing whyning about it and be men about it... if that´s what you claim to be.

For all you dudes that are more mice than men, this message do not apply - of course you feel discomfort with someone that migt squash you beneath her heal, everybody understands and pities you.

// Meds (man, or at least claiming to be - guess the future will tell =)

Well Mister meds, that is the most stupid and most trollish of your 13 posts to date on TV.

Your first post was the only one that made any sense.

You are not a contributor to this forum, just a midslinger.

Troll.

[meds]

Erm....how do you open a door for a complete stranger condescendingly????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

/post edited for taste

...

(sorry, sometimes a latent prepubertal side of me, that has lingered since the early teenages, hijacks my better self)

Edited March 11, 2005 by cdnvic

[meds]

Hoohaa....

To make some kind of general reply on some posts:

Well dudes, doesn´t it just suck that the times have changed and western women are all of the sudden allowed to be as self centered as men has allways been able to, in relationships (foremost)?

You dudes, try picturing these difficult to be with women as any bloke you ever met - does it ring a bell somewhere?

Equiality between sexes is rising, my bretheren... but stop ######ing whyning about it and be men about it... if that´s what you claim to be.

For all you dudes that are more mice than men, this message do not apply - of course you feel discomfort with someone that migt squash you beneath her heal, everybody understands and pities you.

// Meds (man, or at least claiming to be - guess the future will tell =)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well Mister meds, that is the most stupid and most trollish of your 13 posts to date on TV.

Your first post was the only one that made any sense.

You are not a contributor to this forum, just a midslinger.

Troll.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Crap, no:14 would really not get me in the right direction then. Well, hopefully, when I´m at 400+, I´ve learnt the ropes.

By the way, I don´t know what "midslinger is", feel free to enrich me.

Edited March 10, 2005 by meds

[Jai Dee]

Hoohaa....

To make some kind of general reply on some posts:

Well dudes, doesn´t it just suck that the times have changed and western women are all of the sudden allowed to be as self centered as men has allways been able to, in relationships (foremost)?

You dudes, try picturing these difficult to be with women as any bloke you ever met - does it ring a bell somewhere?

Equiality between sexes is rising, my bretheren... but stop ######ing whyning about it and be men about it... if that´s what you claim to be.

For all you dudes that are more mice than men, this message do not apply - of course you feel discomfort with someone that migt squash you beneath her heal, everybody understands and pities you.

// Meds (man, or at least claiming to be - guess the future will tell =)

Well Mister meds, that is the most stupid and most trollish of your 13 posts to date on TV.

Your first post was the only one that made any sense.

You are not a contributor to this forum, just a midslinger.

Troll.

Crap, no:14 would really not get me in the right direction then. Well, hopefully, when I´m at 400+, I´ve learnt the ropes.

By the way, I don´t know what "midslinger is", feel free to enrich me.

A slip of the finger on the keyboard... should have been "mudslinger".

And your latest 2 posts are no better.

Why don't you go away and do something constructive rather than destructive?

Troll.

[meds]

A slip of the finger on the keyboard... should have been "mudslinger".

And your latest 2 posts are no better.

Why don't you go away and do something constructive rather than destructive?

Troll. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, mudslinger I know.

If I did something constructive, would it not be nice if i stayed and did it here? ;-)

...

But seriuosly, I don´t quite understand what you mean with destructive... in my oppinion there are no mud tossing in the geeky post above.

I do have points in most things I post, but I´ll have to look over whether the mudslinging clouds them (the points), or if you have an uncommon hypersensitivity towards anything of its resemblance.

I´ll bear your complaint in mind - maybe I´ll have to refine my manners, or maybe I´ll find that you are merely someone I disrespect.

[Sir Burr]

Erm....how do you open a door for a complete stranger condescendingly????

Look at the person as one do at the sight of poo, make a farty sound and then give the doorhandle an oral treatment, then sucking on to it while performing a remarkable spinal manouver which lets one push the door open with a set of exposed, oh so hairy buttocks?

...

(sorry, sometimes a latent prepubertal side of me, that has lingered since the early teenages, hijacks my better self)

Plonker.

[pendanapolis]

I happen to be a state licensed clinical psychologist. I have mainly lived in America, although I have lived in England and France for brief intervals. I have had a few girl friends over the years, but I have never been very satisfied with western women. I too, like sbaker, find the attitude towards men exhibited by western women to be a negative force when it comes to a loving relationship.

American women DO tend to have far more psychological problems that women from other countries. At least that is what numerous studies have shown. Also, American women feel they are owed reparations, so to speak, from men for years of perceived repression. I will not get into a debate on the virtues of the feminist movement, but I will say that it has hurt family structure and child development. You can not have repressed hostility in a loving relationship and succeed in raising psychologically healthy children, let alone retain mental health for yourselves. This hostility is what sbaker and many other males like myself find unattractive in western women. Men find femininity attractive and femininity is what they often look for in a partner. This is not because men want to repress women. Femininity has nothing to do with being a "###### doll" or not standing up for your self. Femininity has to do with being caring and wanting to look after their partner. Hostility does no fit well in this equation. In essence men want women who will raise a good family and bear healthy children and respect them and look after them. And love them! Most men work hard to reciprocate, although they seldom do so in the same manner. Men work hard and produce food and protection for the family in return for the female care. Whether or not many of you think this is "fair" or the way you want to live your lives in irrelevant to the fact that many men are just looking elsewhere.

I would also like to point out that sbaker meant no hostility towards any of you. Sbaker was just stating the facts as he perceives them. Many of you decided to take his comments personally for one reason or another, but most likely because the vast majority of you realize you have such feelings toward men. I am afraid to inform you that your debate with sbaker has lost all track of logic while your ego defenses fire off like crazy. If you can all get ahold of yourselves and reread sbaker's first post then perhaps the discussion can continue in a reasonable fashion.

I would like to point out that the few posts before sbaker's first post were extremely anti-male and full of misperceptions. Sbaker was just participating in the conversation by allowing the accused males a fair hearing. The majority of you jumped on his back piling on endless accusation, which were simply not founded in the reality of his post. Note: sbaker did not say he wanted "###### dolls", or women who lacked personal expression, or women that were acquiescent. At this point all of you, without even being consciously aware, proved his point, and in fact many of you even suppressed sbakers opinions. I would also like to point out that sbaker has not been arguing with any of you, but rather he has just been denying the words put in his mouth.

In closing I would like to say that I also have nothing against western women. I have no grudge, and I have no desire to suppress your ideas. I am not full of hate or any such thing. I just am at the age where I want to have a family and a few children. I want a wife that will help me raise my children and care for them. I don't want hostility that will result in a divorce (50% of american marriages end in divorce by the way). Divorce really does mentally impair young kids and teenagers alike. I have a choice as I have plenty of money and can easily relocate to another country. American men are loved by women in almost every country but this one.

How would you feel if all american men said, "we don't need women for anything!"

[toastwars]

I always hold open doors  and carry things for girls, I have never recived abuse for it. Maybe you are doing it in a condesending way, with myself it is just a courtesy and practical as I am a strapping fella and I can lift eavy fings. Chivalry is not in conflict with feminism, I suppose I have never been acused of chauvanism because I am not: and have as many female mates as male ones. Women are my equal and I treat them as such, Thats why I would feel uncomfortable in a relationship that was not built on equality

Erm....how do you open a door for a complete stranger condescendingly????

a pat on the bum and calling her pettle or treasure...I hold the door open for the next person through, regardless of sex, as I said chivalry is not dead and not in conflict with feminism...I don't rush up to open doors just because a woman is coming through, I just hold it open for the next person...maybe you were leering or something? I dunno I wasn't there.

( (sigh) - Speaking very slowly in a condescending way) Toastwars - I opened the door and held it open for a complete stranger. No comment was made by me, I did'nt smirk or, get my todger out and wave it in her face, and got a ration of sh1t for my efforts. End of story. This is definitely my last post regarding opening a door. Harrumph! Harrumph!

[sbk]

Little did my poor husband know when he married me that he would end up with a mentally unstable, selfish psycho b!tch. Funny, I didn't even realize I was a mentally unstable selfish psycho b!tch, but two guys say it, so it must be so.

Also, I didn't realize that femininity was strictly tied up in "traditional" male/female roles in society.

Well, I could also say that American men, in my honest opinion, have great difficulty in committing to a serious relationship with a woman, are always on the lookout for the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Are unsupportive of their working wives (because, if we face a bit of reality here, one income is no longer enough to support a family), expect their working wives to do the majority of the housework, childcare and cooking. And then wonder why their wives aren't up to snuff in bed (too exhausted). American men tend to be selfish, tend to be insecure and feel the need to posture.

But, hey, that is just my honest opinion, no insult intended.

[toastwars]

I can cook and sew better than any woman I know. Wives are overated

[Boo]

oh yawn, now we have an expert backing up sbaker, isn't it funny that one should roll out of the woodwork to defend him!, jesus, this is a womens forum for women, if you want to spout on here about how you don't think western women are up to scratch then please be ready for us to defend ourselves, if you don't like us defending oursleves then please don't post. Simple innit

[Lancelot]

Man, you folks sure like to mix it up in here…

Screw feminism; screw machismo attitudes too.

(not sure if “machismoism” is a proper word or not.)

There are too many western women in this world. Even if they tried, not all of them could aspire to being “neurotic, materialistic and self-absorbed.” Gotta be a few good ones out there.

Looking back, I made some really stupid choices about some of the western women I was involved with. On the other hand, I met a few gems too. Hopefully I’ll remember what’s important -mutual respect, kindness and understanding- in future relationships.

Yeah, I have a thai gf now and yeah, I’m pretty happy with our relationship. But docile she is not. And I find myself trying harder to understand her, instead of simply dismissing her point of view as “rubbish.”

Too soon old; too late wise…

[Sir Burr]

meds - Don't do it. You're going to have your head handed to you.......

[meds]

Divorce really does mentally impair young kids and teenagers alike. I have a choice as I have plenty of money and can easily relocate to another country. American men are loved by women in almost every country but this one.

How would you feel if all american men said, "we don't need women for anything!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don´t know if I got impaired in any way because of my parents divorce, but I do now that things had been a LOT worse if they had not.

It´s strange that there seem to be these conflicts surfacing due to American womens feminist uprising. As far as I know, Sweden is ahead in the matter, and I honestly can´t say that we suffer from the same issues as Americans (here) claim to do. At least not that I´ve been aware of. My spouse is very feminist and we´ve been living together for three years now, without any problems at all... and as far as I know, she do wants to have a bunch of kids - at least her behaviuor points in that direction (the hobby psychologist in me takes notes =).

But pose that the feminism is equal in both Sweden and America, could it be some other cultural factors that determine the outcome (whether it´s success or disaster)?

Or is perhaps the conception of the term interpreted differently due to social setting?

[meds]

meds - Don't do it. You're going to have your head handed to you.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It could really be beneficial since I tend to lose it so often... ;-)

[sbaker8688]

jesus, this is a womens forum for women, if you want to spout on here about how you don't think western women are up to scratch then please be ready for us to defend ourselves, if you don't like us defending oursleves then please don't post. Simple innit

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No one has ever said they do not like you defending yourself. Your posts are worthless, immature, and add nothing to the discussion.

The title of this thread is "Hostility towards farang women." If you don't want comments on this subject, such as "yes, there is hostility, and here is why," then go complain to the creator of the thread, not to the men who respond with their own personal insights.

You keep saying "don't post." Well, if you don't like it... don't read!

[alaina]

I've noticed a common trend on some sites about Thailand, and that is that there seems to be an awful lot of open hostility towards western women. Am I imagining things, or are there a lot of ex-pats in BKK with serious issues about the fairer sex?

Don't get me wrong, I haven't seen anything offensive here. But another site I visited was overrun by chauvenistic &lt;deleted&gt; who did almost nothing but gloat about the 'subservient' women they were dating, and how much they hated western women - essentially for not being mindless f*ckdolls, which is what these guys thought women should be, apparently.

I don't want you to think I'm off on a huge femenist rant here, I'm just wondering what I'm in for. I'm moving to Thailand next month, what kind of people should i expect? What is the ratio of moronic pigs to normal people among the ex-pats in BKK? What kind of problems have you experienced?

Any information would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

removed url

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Perhaps I'll try and answer the ORIGINAL question again.

Yes, Thailand does seem to draw more than its fair share of just plain strange guys. (If you disagree, you are either oblivious or one of them!)

Some can be hostile when they can be anonymous. In person, at worst, they may shoot a dirty look at a single farang woman on the street, which is best ignored. Some of them are really fun guys and it's easy to be friends with these guys who will never be attracted to you. I have worked with a few guys that "play the field" a bit and are pretty funny to talk to. As long as the women are consenting adults, I really don't care.

A fair amount of "normal" guys are thrown into the mix to make things interesting. Interestingly, these guys get piled on when they make a comment that encourages the rest to keep an open mind about all women.

Also, keep in mind that it is not too hard to make Thai friends. The earlier you make some Thai friends the easier it will be to avoid segregating yourself. Making a few groups of friends will help cancel out the weirdos and Thai people are a lot of fun!

[sbk]

jesus, this is a womens forum for women, if you want to spout on here about how you don't think western women are up to scratch then please be ready for us to defend ourselves, if you don't like us defending oursleves then please don't post. Simple innit

No one has ever said they do not like you defending yourself. Your posts are worthless, immature, and add nothing to the discussion.

The title of this thread is "Hostility towards farang women." If you don't want comments on this subject, such as "yes, there is hostility, and here is why," then go complain to the creator of the thread, not to the men who respond with their own personal insights.

You keep saying "don't post." Well, if you don't like it... don't read!

Watch your mouth, buddy. Boo is a moderator. Show some respect for a change.

[sbaker8688]

It´s strange that there seem to be these conflicts surfacing due to American womens feminist uprising. As far as I know, Sweden is ahead in the matter, and I honestly can´t say that we suffer from the same issues as Americans (here) claim to do. At least not that I´ve been aware of. My spouse is very feminist and we´ve been living together for three years now, without any problems at all...  and as far as I know, she do wants to have a bunch of kids - at least her behaviuor points in that direction (the hobby psychologist in me takes notes =).

But pose that the feminism is equal in both Sweden and America, could it be some other cultural factors that determine the outcome (whether it´s success or disaster)?

Or is perhaps the conception of the term interpreted differently due to social setting?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are right in that Sweden is ahead in the matter. In fact, I have not seen more culturally liberal places than Scandinavia, Netherlands, and Canada. But certainly Sweden seems to have embraced feminism and other liberal cultural movements "with arms wide open."

I have noticed that there seems to be no true right (conservative) in any of these countries either. What could be considered right over there could easily be considered left in America.

But I have met Swedish men that are unhappy with Swedish women. They don't say it's "feminism" per se. But one Swede I met in Chaingmai said, literally "Swedish women don't need men." And that's why he said he was in Thailand.

[sbk]

For someone who isn't being hostile, insulting or disrespectful I personally find you extremely so. I suspect Boo does as well.

I notice when someone calls you to task you dodge the issue.

[Boo]

Ohh the claws are out now aren't they sbaker. You add about as much to this argument as you think I do

[Shola]

You know I really can't be arsed to debate with you sbaker.

Your obviously reading the posts from us girls, but none of it is sinking in is it?

Go get a room with Pendanapolis...(or perhaps you already have one )