Please Help, Herpes Nightmare

[smittenkitten]

hi there

i'm hoping someone can help me because i've done something really really dumb.

I've been dating a girl for three months and recently we had unprotected penetrative sex, and i had'nt told her that i have herpes (I'm fully aware of how patently irresponsible this was, so please don't be too vicious in yr condemnation, i'm feeling totally shitty enough as it is). I am very committed to this girl, and am in it for the long term.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I have HSV I or HSV II, i've never actually had the test. I had a general STD test before we had sex, and all was clear, but i don't think they tested for herpes. But i can only assume its herpes because i get occasional outbreaks on my lip and genital area. Of course the first thing to do would be to have a test and see what it is. No doubt my GF will have to be tested as well. Being Thai, she's obviously very self-conscious (she's probably never had a pap smear), about that area if anything has to be examined.

What i would like to know is if there is a knowledgeable and empathetic doctor we can see together, i suppose it would be expecting to much to find a female doctor here in BKK. I've checked out a previous herpes thread on this forum, but i'm still left with many questions that can probably only be answered by a specialist. In a PE thread Sheryl recomended some specialists in sexual medicine, perhaps they would be able to help.

The next thing i gotta do is tell my GF, which of course i'm dreading. But it's gotta be done. I'm just praying that i have not infected her. Trying to be gentle on myself, but feel soo dumb for not saying something before.

Anyway, hope someone out there can be of some help

thanx

SK

[CMDR]

It seems to be HSV-I which involves oral-genital organ.

For first episodes use acyclovir 200 mg 5 times a day for 7 days.

For recurrent episodes oral antivirus is useless, Topical acyclovir is effective in speeding the healing of lesions.

For the doctor......where do you live?

[new2bangkok]

guys like you are the cause of STD spread. I hope she breaks up with you.

[QED]

It seems to be HSV-I which involves oral-genital organ.

For first episodes use acyclovir 200 mg 5 times a day for 7 days.

For recurrent episodes oral antivirus is useless, Topical acyclovir is effective in speeding the healing of lesions.

For the doctor......where do you live?

I caught this playing rugby years ago, seriously, its on my scalp and is known to those in the game as 'scrum pox'.

Whenever I get a blow up (about twice a year) I hit the Aciclovir 500mg for a few days and it clears it up.

Been doing that for over 10 years and it still works, available over the counter here.

I don't class it as an STD though and it would be difficult to pass on.......unless she was really kinky

[Chinavet]

For starters, don't be so hard on yourself. Sex is very normal and unprotected sex between couples is very normal. Herpes is a fact of life in the world's general population and it is most likely your outbreaks will lessen over time and probably cease. An athletic session in the hay may initiate an outbreak.

In the 1970's, prior to HIV hitting the headlines, the world's press was guilty of an orgy of hysteria about herpes that lasted years and unnecessarily damaged many lives . Eventually the facts and reason dampened the hysteria (along with the new story - HIV) and some perspective was reached. I am no medico and in no way want to play down serious medical issues that can occur, particularly in childbirth or eye contact, but the reality for most sufferers, it is and inconvenience and an embarrassment.

A virus is a virus, you didn't choose it. Maybe you earned yours from oral sex or maybe it was an old aunty giving you a kiss on the cheek. But if there is a sexual connection to a disease or virus, there is a stigma. That's society, it's not fair and makes no sense and it works against control.

If there was no stigma, you would not be feeling all this guilt. If there was no stigma, you would have told your lady "I have had herpes outbreaks". If there was no stigma, she might have said "me too" or "OK, that's a risk I understand". But, because there is stigma, you are now as guilty as just about every sexually active being alive. I am sure there a righteous few (male and female) who have always informed their potential partners prior to having sex for the first time. They will be responsible, angry, frustrated people that are about to start flaming me to death.

See the doctor(s). Tell your girlfriend. But first, get educated on the subject and deal with it now and in the future with rational perspective.

Good luck.

[bina]

blood titre test can be done to see whats what.... and if she isnt symptomatic , then not much u can do now anyway; the problems are more for when she is pregnant and wants a vaginal birth, which can be done btw. i did it three times. no prob...

she may never have an outbreak; she may already have it since it is very very prevalent everywhere , both types (ive got both types )

have always told my partners after first date; didnt seem to make too much difference to the ones that stuck around. those that didnt, well, tough titties. my first ever (thai! at that) boyfriend gave me that plus some others as a good first time boyfriend present back in the 1980's... since then, dated , got married, had kids, got divorced, dated, got remarried, no kids (too old).

now remmarried to thai hubby. didnt make a bit of difference either to him (he didnt understand anyway what i was talking about and since i have cyclical active herpes usually during menstruation, we just abstain anyway (jewish so sex during and after menstruation is a no-no anyhow-- just makes the heart grow fonder for two weeks of abstaining)

not a big deal.

bina

israel

[katana]

I had a friend who had it and had just started dating a girl. He was plucking up the courage to tell her before they started sleeping together. Anyhow, when he finally told her, it turned out she had it already, so it was somewhat of a relief to both of them.

[SHYTALK]

It seems to be HSV-I which involves oral-genital organ.

For first episodes use acyclovir 200 mg 5 times a day for 7 days.

For recurrent episodes oral antivirus is useless, Topical acyclovir is effective in speeding the healing of lesions.

For the doctor......where do you live?

I caught this playing rugby years ago, seriously, its on my scalp and is known to those in the game as 'scrum pox'.

Whenever I get a blow up (about twice a year) I hit the Aciclovir 500mg for a few days and it clears it up.

Been doing that for over 10 years and it still works, available over the counter here.

I don't class it as an STD though and it would be difficult to pass on.......unless she was really kinky

So thats what goes on at the bottom of the scrums, with those hookers!

[lioness]

You should go and get tested, then you will kmow exactly what you are dealing with. And be given the correct medication rather than this self help try this or try that approach.

One poster did say that possibly over time the symptoms will decrease and finally cease. This is not always the case. my nephew ( English ) has had it for 21 years and is on quite strong medication to control it. This works well unless he is overtired, rundown, drinks too much and/or doesn't eat properly.

If you care as much for your girl as you say then you should have been upfront with her, too late now by the sound of it, but don't delay.

[jfchandler]

In a PE thread Sheryl recomended some specialists in sexual medicine, perhaps they would be able to help.

Maybe you or Sheryl would post those recommendations here... They might be of interest and help to others....

[hhgz]

"For starters, don't be so hard on yourself. Sex is very normal..."

Absolutely true, and I feel so sorry for you. All of this time you had to lie to your girlfriend, and I'm sure that was very difficult. Don't be so hard on yourself, because now you can disclaim any responsibility for your actions, and hold a pity party for yourself. Evidently in Thailand, "sex is very normal", and is is lying to your partner. So, don't feel so bad, heck, it's only another case of herpes, and you could blame you?

[smittenkitten]

hey, thanks to everyone with yr support, makes me feel much better. It is definately the case that its the social stigma that causes the shame, its a hard one to kick. One thing i realize is that when i tell my GF it will make it better if I don't present the issue as akin to armageddon (which is how i felt yesterday when i posted). It was unfortunate that i wasn't more candid up-front, but whats done is done and best i can do is learn from it and move on.

cheers

SK

PS. below are the sexual health specialists Sheryl recommended in a previous post. Also another poster PM'd me and recomended Dr Paitoon Boonma, an infectious diseases specialist at Bangkok Hospital, saying he was very compassionate, so plan to see him asap

Bumrungrad

Dr. Kavirach Tantiwongse - did a fellowhip in Sexual Medicine and Neurourology in the US, Fri 17:00 - 19:00 , Sat 09:00 - 12:00

Dr. Apichat Kongkanand - US trained and a Professor at Chulalonghorn: Mon, Wed, Fri 09:00 - 12:00 and 5:30- 8 PM ;Tue 13:00 - 16:00; Sat 09:00 - 12:00

Don'y buy your meds at the hospitkl pharmacy though, they will be much cheaper outside. Sertraline is available in local generic forms (Serlift, Sertra) and would thus be the least expensive option if cost is a concern.

Bangkok Hospital

Prof. Somboon Leungwattanakji, US trained. Monday, wed, Thurs, Fri and Sat 09:00 - 15:00, Tuesday 12:00 - 17:00

[bina]

yep. outbreaks are my way of knowing that i am overdoing it or under mental stress; one person's migraine, another person's herpes....

being a woman its a bit worse with an outbreak cause u cant always know when its on your cervix for instance... and the pain irritation etc. horseback riding which i love also tends to cause an outbreak ... never bothered with the oral meds cause biofeedback and good habits seem to work for the most part...

my kids all were followed up with blood titres, negative. then my youngest got the oral kind on her mouth from her granny... and youngest gets oubreaks, you guessed it, every month, when ill, when upset, too much sun... but the creams help her out.

pretty prevalent viruses , could be a lot worse, and more deadly.

bina

israel

[12DrinkMore]

http://www.cdc.gov/STD/herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

[ignis]

The question is are you 100% sure it is Herpes ?

or is it some other fungal infection ?

I thought I had Herpes years ago, seeing a Doctor I was tested and found that it was a Yeast Infection and that I was diabetic....

Have a look here

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/ho...ymptom/539.html

or do a search 'Male genital infection'

[Garret]

I have a friend who studies Hiv infection. He works for the CDA and P. His comment to me years ago was that people who have herpes need to be very careful to make sure that the lesion is entirley healed as it would be easier to contract Hiv if it wasnt.

Women often have no idea that they have herpes if the lesions are inside. Making the whole idea of safe sex evem more important. I have been here for almost two decades and I still here of moronic guys playing the field and throwing caution to the wind.

[loong]

A lot of people have herpes and are not even aware. I think the figure is something like 25% of adults are infected. For most people the symptons are mild and not noticeable.

If you are concerned, both of you should be tested. There's a 25% chance that she had it already.

[Robroy]

I have wrtten a book about herpes simplex virus, so maybe I can help. Admittedly the book is 25 years old, but the information below isn't out of date.

The first episode of herpes presents an opportunity to kill it off, or at least to reduce its potency, which will never come again. This also applies to the period between the day one is infected and the day the virus manifests itself in one's first attack (average ~10 days).

As said by others above, the drug you need is acyclovir, which is marketed as Zovirax, but now has run out of patent & is a 'generic' drug marketed under many names (often with a 'zov' or 'vir' in the name). Don't worry - it's easy to buy everywhere, including Thailand. Talk to a proper pharmacist to be sure - not the 17-year-old girl on night duty.

After you're infected the first time, the herpes virus manifests on the skin as lesions (blisters). It then retreats up the nerve pathways & goes to live (in the case of genital herpes) in the nearby sacral ganglia, where it disassembles itself, rendering itself immune to chemical attack.

However if acyclovir is taken before it migrates up to the ganglia, there is a reasonable chance it can be destroyed, or certainly reduced. I.e. subsequent outbreaks will be milder than they would have been.

When acyclovir was first formulated, but before it was released (early 80s), I studied hundreds of clinical trials done with it. The above effect was clearly apparent. However the manufacturer (Burroughs Wellcome) did not publicise this recurrence-preventing effect, focussing its marketing instead on simply treating recurrent episodes.

I pointed this out in the press, & was criticised by Burroughs Wellcome for being too 'conspiratorial' (though we got on well on other scores). Two decades or so on, the above is not only accepted by BW but is part of their marketing. (Their apology must have gone astray in the mail.)

Whether you have HSV1 or the stronger HSV2 isn't so important right now as getting your gf onto the acyclovir. She might be reluctant to take an antiviral drug for 10 days, but you could point out that having herpes for the rest of her life could be somewhat worse. Also, acyclovir has no perceptible side-efects for anyone - & the imperceptibe ones are few, minor & transient. I am fairly anti-medication, but I (& the clinical literature) regard it as a very safe drug.

In getting tested for STDs before getting intimate with your gf, you have been unusually responsible. If only more did the same.

3 more minor points:

* Most herpes sufferers notice a reduced rate of recurrence as time goes by & the immune system learns to deal with it better.

* Don't kiss anyone when you have an outbreak on your lip.

* When I wrote my book, herpes was seen as the end of the world. Then AIDS came along. Today, most people I know have herpes: few regard it as anything more than an occasional annoyance.

I don't pop in here often, so email me if more info is required: johnmac11 AT fastmail.us

[bina]

yep. i was the beginning of the herpes breakouts before anyone recognized what it was and was mis diagnosed and mistreated...

unfortunately i am the percentage that does still have sometimes nightmare reoccurrances but have always refused the anti viral stuff cause it just didnt matter in my life too much i.e. i can live with it.

HIV took over soon after as the disease of the year so herpes went in to the background (not me getting HIV but the medical world dealing with things)

the outbreaks around the cervix are the problematic ones for giving birth. i was one of the forerunners in the medical protocol for vaginal births with herpes non active, here in israel... cause most docs here werent familiar previoiusly and when i came to live here (israel) i had to fight with all my docs about what i had (they didnt believe me and at that time viral cultures werent standard/neither was blood titreing since here its socialized medical so many things needed special paperwork costs etc) and the treatments, never mind the births (they didnt believe that i should be monitored for herpes and c section might be the answer; anyway, gave vaginal birth to all 3 and no problems and by the third one, ob/gynies here were more knowlegeable as it was more prevalent here.

no big deal i used to do PAP smears more frequently but many studies since have shown no conclusive evidence as to higher percentage of cervical cancers either...

good diet, rest, less stress, good hygiene for women (no soaps with perfumes and such, the thai toilet washing with water is definately better), no swimming pools (chlorine, dampness for prolonged periods of time) no tight jeans, pain stress managment techniques for the two or three days that can be really painful (skirts are great for then) , good attitude, and get on with life, its not a death sentence and there are a lot fo far worse disgusting disfiguring diseases to have ...

a dip in the dead sea is a great cure for a month or so btw but stings like hel_l... :)

bina

israel

[OxfordWill]

dunno if anyone else said this yet but can I recommend not telling your gf until you know for sure you gave it to her, and then bringing the subject up at a later date or slowly in small pieces of info. This is the Thai way and is less likely to cause your relationship a big problem. Bringing it up now in "full disclosure" is very western, and might be too direct and risk scaring her away. Suggest a mutual check up, then if it turns out she does have it, you will both have the diagnosis and then up to you if you admit you knew you had it before and apologise.

[smittenkitten]

Made an appointment to get a test this tuesday, so that will be the first step. Think i will feel relieved either way after this is completed. Though from everything i understand about this affliction, its not merely a yeast infection, but lets wait and see.

thank u all for the input, everyone has been very supportive, which i appreciate heaps

cheers

SK

[hmficc]

I have wrtten a book about herpes simplex virus, so maybe I can help. Admittedly the book is 25 years old, but the information below isn't out of date.

The first episode of herpes presents an opportunity to kill it off, or at least to reduce its potency, which will never come again. This also applies to the period between the day one is infected and the day the virus manifests itself in one's first attack (average ~10 days).

As said by others above, the drug you need is acyclovir, which is marketed as Zovirax, but now has run out of patent & is a 'generic' drug marketed under many names (often with a 'zov' or 'vir' in the name). Don't worry - it's easy to buy everywhere, including Thailand. Talk to a proper pharmacist to be sure - not the 17-year-old girl on night duty.

After you're infected the first time, the herpes virus manifests on the skin as lesions (blisters). It then retreats up the nerve pathways & goes to live (in the case of genital herpes) in the nearby sacral ganglia, where it disassembles itself, rendering itself immune to chemical attack.

However if acyclovir is taken before it migrates up to the ganglia, there is a reasonable chance it can be destroyed, or certainly reduced. I.e. subsequent outbreaks will be milder than they would have been.

When acyclovir was first formulated, but before it was released (early 80s), I studied hundreds of clinical trials done with it. The above effect was clearly apparent. However the manufacturer (Burroughs Wellcome) did not publicise this recurrence-preventing effect, focussing its marketing instead on simply treating recurrent episodes.

I pointed this out in the press, & was criticised by Burroughs Wellcome for being too 'conspiratorial' (though we got on well on other scores). Two decades or so on, the above is not only accepted by BW but is part of their marketing. (Their apology must have gone astray in the mail.)

Whether you have HSV1 or the stronger HSV2 isn't so important right now as getting your gf onto the acyclovir. She might be reluctant to take an antiviral drug for 10 days, but you could point out that having herpes for the rest of her life could be somewhat worse. Also, acyclovir has no perceptible side-efects for anyone - & the imperceptibe ones are few, minor & transient. I am fairly anti-medication, but I (& the clinical literature) regard it as a very safe drug.

In getting tested for STDs before getting intimate with your gf, you have been unusually responsible. If only more did the same.

3 more minor points:

* Most herpes sufferers notice a reduced rate of recurrence as time goes by & the immune system learns to deal with it better.

* Don't kiss anyone when you have an outbreak on your lip.

* When I wrote my book, herpes was seen as the end of the world. Then AIDS came along. Today, most people I know have herpes: few regard it as anything more than an occasional annoyance.

I don't pop in here often, so email me if more info is required: johnmac11 AT fastmail.us

25% of those infected will have 1 attack only. However you can pass on the virus with or without blisters.

[smittenkitten]

hi there

had my appointment yesterday, the doc suggested i take Valtrex once a day for 6 months with the hope that this would suppress the cursed virus. I think he said 1x500mg tab daily. i could only get the valtrex generic brand, Zivirax, which are 200mg. Now these are quite expensive, 1200B for 25 tabs. Of course its a small price to pay if it does indeed suppress the virus. Plan to check online to see if its possible to get them cheaper.

My friend told me that there are tabs that a non-infected partner can take (valtrex i assume) that reduce the risk of them contracting it. Not sure about this, will ask the doc on fri when i return to get my test results. Which, by the way i can only assume will be positive, for what else could cause the symtoms? i doubt they would be some kind of yeast infection, but will know 4sure on fri.

Despite being tested for HIV before we had sex, i thought it wouldn't hurt to get tested again. The unlikely prospect of this test turning pear shaped certainly put my herpes curse in perspective. I finally broke the news my GF the other night, it went OK. She was understandably peturbed, but we both figured it was just something we have to deal with. We are yet to more fully discuss what to do about the sexual part of our relationship. Neither of us wanna use condoms, especially as i hav had the snip. But in the end it will be her call.

cheers

SK

[guava]

As others have said - very common, quite easy to catch (and not always via sexual contact), and very treatable, but not curable AFAIK.

Do be aware that stress and poor health leave you susceptible to outbreaks. The same happens with Shingles (related but different herpes virus) if you had chickenpox as a child. Early commencement of treatment for both can often mean a much less severe outbreak, which in the case of Shingles in particular can be seriously painful and debilitating.

[drcracknell]

hi there

i'm hoping someone can help me because i've done something really really dumb.

I've been dating a girl for three months and recently we had unprotected penetrative sex, and i had'nt told her that i have herpes (I'm fully aware of how patently irresponsible this was, so please don't be too vicious in yr condemnation, i'm feeling totally shitty enough as it is). I am very committed to this girl, and am in it for the long term.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I have HSV I or HSV II, i've never actually had the test. I had a general STD test before we had sex, and all was clear, but i don't think they tested for herpes. But i can only assume its herpes because i get occasional outbreaks on my lip and genital area. Of course the first thing to do would be to have a test and see what it is. No doubt my GF will have to be tested as well. Being Thai, she's obviously very self-conscious (she's probably never had a pap smear), about that area if anything has to be examined.

What i would like to know is if there is a knowledgeable and empathetic doctor we can see together, i suppose it would be expecting to much to find a female doctor here in BKK. I've checked out a previous herpes thread on this forum, but i'm still left with many questions that can probably only be answered by a specialist. In a PE thread Sheryl recomended some specialists in sexual medicine, perhaps they would be able to help.

The next thing i gotta do is tell my GF, which of course i'm dreading. But it's gotta be done. I'm just praying that i have not infected her. Trying to be gentle on myself, but feel soo dumb for not saying something before.

Anyway, hope someone out there can be of some help

thanx

SK

L-Lysine (buy at GNC) - 1 gram a day --5- 8 grams a day w/ outbreak

3-6 grams of vita C daily ---- Vita C to bowel tolerance w/ outbreak

SSKI Iodine topical

watch what you eat -- raw is better !!!

gid rid of stress

for more vitamin and home remedies see

doctoryourself.com and earthclinic.com

cheers

yours in health

Richard