Meeting Former Thai Colleagues

[pete_r]

Here is an etiquette question: After moving to a new job in a different organization a few months back, I will still have occasional meetings with my former colleagues for follow-up on ongoing projects. As we are not colleagues any more, shall I wai them or not?

Knowing that:

- My departure from the former job was on friendly terms.

- When working together and seeing each other every day as colleagues, we did not wai each other.

- We are in the same age range (7 years between the youngest and the oldest).

- I was one of the youngest in the team, so if a wai is advisable next time I meet them, the initiative should come from me (hence the question!).

- Hierarchically I was at the same level as them, not in a higher or lower position.

Thanks for any input or experience,

Edited August 30, 2009 by pete_r

[rkidlad]

Here is an etiquette question: After moving to a new job in a different organization a few months back, I will still have occasional meetings with my former colleagues for follow-up on ongoing projects. As we are not colleagues any more, shall I wai them or not?

Knowing that:

- My departure from the former job was on friendly terms.

- When working together and seeing each other every day as colleagues, we did not wai each other.

- We are in the same age range (7 years between the youngest and the oldest).

- I was one of the youngest in the team, so if a wai is advisable next time I meet them, the initiative should come from me (hence the question!).

- Hierarchically I was at the same level as them, not in a higher or lower position.

Thanks for any input or experience,

Is this a serious post? I'm all for wying to respect Thai culture but at the end of the day; I don't think Thais care if foreigners wye or not. You're foreign, you're not Thai and you never will be.

I never wye anyone at work. Shake hands sure, but never wye. Shake hands the first time we meet, but not all the time. As for the Thai staff in my company, they're all a bunch of gossiping back stabbers. They're all smiles and hellos when they come in. But as soon as they can they're slagging each other off. I'm not wying people like this. (I don't even do small talk unless it's work related)

[onnut]

I never wye anyone at work. Shake hands sure, but never wye. Shake hands the first time we meet, but not all the time. As for the Thai staff in my company, they're all a bunch of gossiping back stabbers. They're all smiles and hellos when they come in. But as soon as they can they're slagging each other off. I'm not wying people like this. (I don't even do small talk unless it's work related)

we must work for the same company! sounds like it

[rkidlad]

It's definitely universal in Thailand. They have so much contempt and resentment for foreign staff 'cos we earn more. Yet when we're their seniors they are so up our asses. All they do is act nice with each other all day and gossip about each other behind each other's backs.

I'm not being rude or ignorant but I have nothing to say to the staff at my place unless it's work related. They're horrible squabbling degenerates who take great pleasure out of other people's poor misfortune. If you have nothing nice to say to somebody, say nothing at all. (I must reiterate that this is my company I'm talking about)

[lannarebirth]

If you're well mannered you should wai former colleagues. I would anyway.

[cocopops]

I would, if I hadn't seem 'em for a while.

Just as you shake hands with somebody you haven't seen for a few weeks, but don't with colleagues you see every day.

[Nerone]

Here is an etiquette question: After moving to a new job in a different organization a few months back, I will still have occasional meetings with my former colleagues for follow-up on ongoing projects. As we are not colleagues any more, shall I wai them or not?

Knowing that:

- My departure from the former job was on friendly terms.

- When working together and seeing each other every day as colleagues, we did not wai each other.

- We are in the same age range (7 years between the youngest and the oldest).

- I was one of the youngest in the team, so if a wai is advisable next time I meet them, the initiative should come from me (hence the question!).

- Hierarchically I was at the same level as them, not in a higher or lower position.

Thanks for any input or experience,

Wai them first, Invite them for a party, then try to screw all the women, expecially the engaged and married ones and then put some fenoftaleine in the men's drinks... Have a good fun .. ops wai them when they leave of course....

[richard_smith237]

The wye is a tricky one.

Sometimes I get the feeling that Thai’s don’t like to wye non-Thai’s, but sometimes I get the feeling that they don’t really like to wye each other.

I can see sometimes that it’s a gesture of complete respect, then I see another time when it’s a reluctant gesture simply because someone is a notch above on the hierarchal scale.

I wye all elders within a similar social-economic level to myself when I meet them from the first time, if they don’t wye back, then they don’t get another wye but just a nod of the head from there on in.

I also see it noted by others as to who initiates the wye, I’ve observed that this is often an indicator for others to observe where you are placed in their social structure. Work and family also confuse this issue however.

As you are one of the younger members I would suggest that it’s up to you to initiate, but also as you were of equal position it might not be necessary.

I would also suggest that as a western you have carte-blanche on wyes, you can make mistakes and its ok so long as its clear that your intentions are respectful and polite.

All that said, you cannot make a mistake wye’ing people who you have respect for, its not like wye’ing a waitress in a gogo bar etc.

I’d say wye. It will always be observed as more polite than not doing so, I often wye and shake hands, which covers both options but also follows my own manners / culture.

(edit: I think wai might be the more correct spelling in English)

Edited August 31, 2009 by richard_smith237

[pete_r]

Thanks for all the answers. Without much second thoughts, I can wai older people based on the age difference; and not wai people of similar age and in a lower hierarchical position (unless they wai first - same as for younger people). In this particular case of former colleagues of similar age, I see it as a fine line between either waiing and appearing a tad too formal (with the risk of introducing unnecessary distance in the work relationship), or not waiing and appearing somehow ill-mannered. Guess I'll follow my instinct at the next meeting, but will keep in mind that the safe side is to wai anyway, as has been pointed out.

Regarding the idea of not waiing because Thais don't care if Westerners try to pick up the culture or not: That depends on the context, sometimes it's true, sometimes the ability to wai properly is definitely appreciated.

[mooncake]

I wai wai to my friends too, not just collegues at work. Most times just to be polite, and many times just a light hearted - fun gesture.

It's quite normal for thai std etiquette for politeceness. Heck my grandma, all my uncles and aunts even wai wai back at me.

Just go ahead wai wai at them, what's the harm anyway?

Don't think too much