Farang Marry Pattaya Lady Back To Their Country Success?

[farang82]

Are there any positive true stories for a younger farang (27) to successfully find a life partner bring back to their country? I spent one month holiday and started hitting brick walls it seemed as far as finding some one like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Thanks for any experience or advice given . . . .

[Capealava]

Are there any positive true stories for a younger farang (27) to successfully find a life partner bring back to their country? I spent one month holiday and started hitting brick walls it seemed as far as finding some one like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Thanks for any experience or advice given . . . .

As far as meeting educated Thai girls or Thai women who are gainfully employed you will not meet them in bars. You will meet them as you would meet many young woman in your home country. The internet is a very good way to meet educated and employed Thai women. After making a relationship with them online they will happily meet you when you come to Thailand. As far as "taking then to your home country" that is another question completely. Thai women are generally very attached to their families and living aboard is a big deal to them. Although many dream of that it can also make the marriage difficult at times. Language and culture also plays into this heavily. Like any successful marriage there has to be a bonds and common goals that bind. They will of course be very dependent on you in your home country at the beginning of the marriage. How many Farang/Thai marriages actually succeed is really unknown, but I would say that there is a higher incidence of failure than marrying someone in your own country. Just an opinion I am sure you will hear many more opinions here. GOOD LUCK

[monty]

Finding and starting a relationship with regular (i.e. non bargirl) women for a tourist will be close to impossible.

Thailand is much the same as the rest of the world, you'll need to build up a relationship first.

IMO you simply cannot do that in a 4 week holiday, two people need much more time to start to know each other before either one can make a decision on going full commitment!

And for the girls, leaving your home country and family, ending up being virtually complete at the mercy of your partner, needs that kind of trust, love and commitment.

You can go the easy way and avail yourself of dating/marriage sites, but I do not think success rate in the long term is high. For tose women it will be more of a business/financial decision, and will have very little to do with real love/relationship.

Although nothing is impossible, I do know of very successful marriages, in couples one would give the least chance of survival. There is always a chance you find a soulmate somewhere.

I'll move this one to the general section as well, not really related to visa's!

[farang82]

Are there any positive true stories for a younger farang (27) to successfully find a life partner bring back to their country? I spent one month holiday and started hitting brick walls it seemed as far as finding some one like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Thanks for any experience or advice given . . . .

As far as meeting educated Thai girls or Thai women who are gainfully employed you will not meet them in bars. You will meet them as you would meet many young woman in your home country. The internet is a very good way to meet educated and employed Thai women. After making a relationship with them online they will happily meet you when you come to Thailand. As far as "taking then to your home country" that is another question completely. Thai women are generally very attached to their families and living aboard is a big deal to them. Although many dream of that it can also make the marriage difficult at times. Language and culture also plays into this heavily. Like any successful marriage there has to be a bonds and common goals that bind. They will of course be very dependent on you in your home country at the beginning of the marriage. How many Farang/Thai marriages actually succeed is really unknown, but I would say that there is a higher incidence of failure than marrying someone in your own country. Just an opinion I am sure you will hear many more opinions here. GOOD LUCK

Finding and starting a relationship with regular (i.e. non bargirl) women for a tourist will be close to impossible.

Thailand is much the same as the rest of the world, you'll need to build up a relationship first.

IMO you simply cannot do that in a 4 week holiday, two people need much more time to start to know each other before either one can make a decision on going full commitment!

And for the girls, leaving your home country and family, ending up being virtually complete at the mercy of your partner, needs that kind of trust, love and commitment.

You can go the easy way and avail yourself of dating/marriage sites, but I do not think success rate in the long term is high. For tose women it will be more of a business/financial decision, and will have very little to do with real love/relationship.

Although nothing is impossible, I do know of very successful marriages, in couples one would give the least chance of survival. There is always a chance you find a soulmate somewhere.

I'll move this one to the general section as well, not really related to visa's!

Good Opinions. . . Yes I have established many online contacts and met them as well, business/financial decision seems to be the energy I feel also. At the airport on the way back home to my country, I have seen more than once a middle aged farang with an apparent beautiful young partner successfully bringing her home. I look with wonder in the back of mind if everything actually works out for them.

[geriatrickid]

Are there any positive true stories for a younger farang (27) to successfully find a life partner bring back to their country? I spent one month holiday and started hitting brick walls it seemed as far as finding some one like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Thanks for any experience or advice given . . . .

"like a college student or real estate agent"

Unless you are well educated and either have a good job or come from a good family you will most likely be unable to secure the interest of a higher end Thai lady, let alone a Chula girl. (You might score a Mahidol gal, but my friend insists that you need to keep the lights off or a bag handy to put over her head. ) You also might get a date from a lady that attends one of the low end universities, which are the equivalent of an advanced high school in most western countries, but she may force you to wear Hello Kitty's clothing line for boys and you better be extremely cool, with wispy bangs of hair, an ability to pout and of course be able to pay for everything, including the family's emergency treatment for the sick relative.

Even if you are the greatest of lovers and are incredibly endowed, you will soon learn that once a Thai lady has been with you for awhile she sleeps in pajamas and is often wrapped in a blanket. Hardly, the means by which to use those awesome attributes. Also, no hanky panky is allowed unless given the signal as the sexual lusts of Thai ladies is a tad overblown.

The wealthy Thais rarely breed out of their own demographic and they have no need or desire to leave Thailand. Either accept that the best you can do is the 7-11 clerk or brush up on your social skills and seduce a girl in your home country.

[mooncake]

Hmm…I would assume 1 month is not long enough to find someone that you think you like for a serious relationship,... importantly a decent girl who would be willing to move to your home country after 1 month fling/romance…period.

Cant you find someone in your own country?…..or you’re aiming for thai girls particularly?

I would imagine those you’re looking for…. would be working while you’re tourising around Thailand?

Strange question really, if you don’t know this by now -- at your age

Btw….do you think that all thai girls are that EASY?__

[quiksilva]

FOUR WEEKS to find a LIFE LONG partner? Think about that. NO, really think about that, and again .... but longer this time.

Are you seriously expecting a beautiful intelligent woman (who no doubt would have other options) to make a life long commitment to you, after such a short period of time? (Some time I think people forget that marriage is a mutual agreement to be together)

Wouldn't you question the motives of a girl who would accept such a proposal after just 30 days?

You have heard the old adage of "if it seem too good to be true it probably is" .... right?

Seriously, get real. It doesn't work in Thailand, and it doesn't work at home. Sure people spend less time getting to know their spouses these days, but divorce rate is also higher in the West today too.

There's no rush. There is no deadline on when you have to get married.

Take the time to find someone who appreciates you for you are and not what you can give them.

[bonobo]

Finding and starting a relationship with regular (i.e. non bargirl) women for a tourist will be close to impossible.

Thailand is much the same as the rest of the world, you'll need to build up a relationship first.

IMO you simply cannot do that in a 4 week holiday, two people need much more time to start to know each other before either one can make a decision on going full commitment!

I have to disagree that it will be close to impossible.  It is easier now than ever.

My ex-mother-in-law was an actual mail-order bride.  Hawaii had many men, but a dearth of women back then, and she was literally plucked out of a catalog and brought to the US.  They remained happily married until his death some 45 years later.

Now, with the internet, you can chat and spend time getting to know someone, getting to see if you are basically compatible on a philosophical level.  Then you can come to Thailand, in this case, and actually meet the woman to see if you click, if you have chemistry.  For many people, 4 weeks is more than enough time to make that sort of determination.

And while many of the women on the dating sites are more financially oriented, whether for a true love of money or for a guaranteed security for her future children, many women are there for other reasons.  Many have a perception that western men are more faithful. many have a perception that they will be treated better by a western husband. Some Thai women seem to have an inferiority complex with regards to attracting Thai men (e.g, their skin is too dark, they are too heavy, whatever) and they think that western men might like them better.  There are a myriad of reasons why a woman might join a foreign dating site, just as there are a myriad of reasons why a man might join one.

I have never read about the success rates for Thai/Western marriages.  But in the US, the Filipina/American marriages have half the divorce rate of the general marriage population.  And I would think that most of these marriages were not long-term courtships.

I think it is certainly possible to find a good match in Thailand if a person really wants to pursue it.

(Of course, as a divorced man, perhaps my opinions needs to be taken with a grain of salt.)

[farang82]

sorry - a little more info added to the question:

27 yrs old, own three successfull businesses in my country. Have had severe heart breaks in past and the last ex fionce (3 years ago) that resulted in myself filing a bankruptcy (which have recovered from quite well). Sort of mid life crisis and thai is so cheap to live for me, went there to meet many of contacts I met online, networking (Fbook,M*pace) along with dating sites. I guess I fast forwarded a bit in my question. I leased a condo for a year and plan on training muay thai and mixed martial arts in thai after my surgery is 100% healed in about 4 more months. (Have fought professionally in past). What I meant was if something did end up becoming serious while there, what was the success rate or previous stories for bringing back home happily ever after? . . . So I have more education on the subject to know if I shall choose to stay a fully - armor plated heart - bachelor... or, butterfly.

[thaimate]

Having run a thai/western marriage agency some years ago for 10 years ,the success rate was high ,but you will have to work at it ,coming to Pattaya for a holiday ,all you are going to meet are bar girls ,success rate very low, all the thai/western marriages that i know here that are successfull the couples have courted pretty much as you would with a girl in Britain. my wife and i were together for a year before we married.

[monty]

let alone a Chula girl

And apparently to an article I recently read, Chula students are not that top notch as generally accepted.

Apparently Mahanakorn University has the best facilities in is churning out the best graduates.

But yep, you won't hook up with Hi-So Thai women, unless you're extremely Hi-So yourself.

Which does not mean that there are lots of intelligent lower middle class fighting their way through university.

Most of the middle class workers, low management, nurses etc do not necessarily come from hi-so families, I would even say the majority don't.

[farang82]

Finding and starting a relationship with regular (i.e. non bargirl) women for a tourist will be close to impossible.

Thailand is much the same as the rest of the world, you'll need to build up a relationship first.

IMO you simply cannot do that in a 4 week holiday, two people need much more time to start to know each other before either one can make a decision on going full commitment!

I have to disagree that it will be close to impossible. It is easier now than ever.

My ex-mother-in-law was an actual mail-order bride. Hawaii had many men, but a dearth of women back then, and she was literally plucked out of a catalog and brought to the US. They remained happily married until his death some 45 years later.

Now, with the internet, you can chat and spend time getting to know someone, getting to see if you are basically compatible on a philosophical level. Then you can come to Thailand, in this case, and actually meet the woman to see if you click, if you have chemistry. For many people, 4 weeks is more than enough time to make that sort of determination.

And while many of the women on the dating sites are more financially oriented, whether for a true love of money or for a guaranteed security for her future children, many women are there for other reasons. Many have a perception that western men are more faithful. many have a perception that they will be treated better by a western husband. Some Thai women seem to have an inferiority complex with regards to attracting Thai men (e.g, their skin is too dark, they are too heavy, whatever) and they think that western men might like them better. There are a myriad of reasons why a woman might join a foreign dating site, just as there are a myriad of reasons why a man might join one.

I have never read about the success rates for Thai/Western marriages. But in the US, the Filipina/American marriages have half the divorce rate of the general marriage population. And I would think that most of these marriages were not long-term courtships.

I think it is certainly possible to find a good match in Thailand if a person really wants to pursue it.

(Of course, as a divorced man, perhaps my opinions needs to be taken with a grain of salt.)

Thank You, exactly what I was looking for, true opinions and experiences.

[monty]

sorry - a little more info added to the question:

27 yrs old, own three successfull businesses in my country. Have had severe heart breaks in past and the last ex fionce (3 years ago) that resulted in myself filing a bankruptcy (which have recovered from quite well). Sort of mid life crisis and thai is so cheap to live for me, went there to meet many of contacts I met online, networking (Fbook,M*pace) along with dating sites. I guess I fast forwarded a bit in my question. I leased a condo for a year and plan on training muay thai and mixed martial arts in thai after my surgery is 100% healed in about 4 more months. (Have fought professionally in past). What I meant was if something did end up becoming serious while there, what was the success rate or previous stories for bringing back home happily ever after? . . . So I have more education on the subject to know if I shall choose to stay a fully - armor plated heart - bachelor... or, butterfly.

Now that is indeed a different scenario.

Much will depend on you! Stay away from the touristy nightlife and you do stand a chance. I actually think stuff like facebook etc would be a much better way to get into contact with prospective girlfriends. Meet up, go to movies, dinner etc, and not try to talk them into bed after the second day!

Actually (IMO) a girl willing to hop into bed very quick is not neceserally a bad prospect, but might be after a one night stand. You do have them as well in Thailand, more then you would assume, especially if you are reasonable young and presentable.

Thai women are less age oriented then their Western counterparts. So 22/28 is absolutely no issue (obviously not 20/55 as seen in Pattaya and Nana plaza)

[philo]

Excellent thread. University educated or a farmers daughter, it doesn' matter - they are almost all the same.

I have been around for a few years in Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, Cambodia, Vietnam etc. and have found that the only way you can bond (at least a little bit) is if you are lucky enough to find a woman with traces of rationality and responsability (very hard though). If you are that lucky the bonding that she has to her family will be even stronger. Accordingly - IMO - she will probably be unable to thrive in farangland.

Chula girls are as tradeable for a mobile phone or some gold as is a bar hostess. I have even met the students I found at Siam Square in the 'fish bowls' at Rachada.

I am now married (stupid me). The reason why I stay: She is the mother of my two children.

I wish you the best of luck - you will need it.

For a crash course in SEA women psychology, please read this.

[stbkk]

sorry - a little more info added to the question:

27 yrs old, own three successfull businesses in my country. Have had severe heart breaks in past and the last ex fionce (3 years ago) that resulted in myself filing a bankruptcy (which have recovered from quite well). Sort of mid life crisis and thai is so cheap to live for me, went there to meet many of contacts I met online, networking (Fbook,M*pace) along with dating sites. I guess I fast forwarded a bit in my question. I leased a condo for a year and plan on training muay thai and mixed martial arts in thai after my surgery is 100% healed in about 4 more months. (Have fought professionally in past). What I meant was if something did end up becoming serious while there, what was the success rate or previous stories for bringing back home happily ever after? . . . So I have more education on the subject to know if I shall choose to stay a fully - armor plated heart - bachelor... or, butterfly.

Now that is indeed a different scenario.

Much will depend on you! Stay away from the touristy nightlife and you do stand a chance. I actually think stuff like facebook etc would be a much better way to get into contact with prospective girlfriends. Meet up, go to movies, dinner etc, and not try to talk them into bed after the second day!

Actually (IMO) a girl willing to hop into bed very quick is not neceserally a bad prospect, but might be after a one night stand. You do have them as well in Thailand, more then you would assume, especially if you are reasonable young and presentable.

Thai women are less age oriented then their Western counterparts. So 22/28 is absolutely no issue (obviously not 20/55 as seen in Pattaya and Nana plaza)

I fully agree. Chances are much, much higher if you are living here full time. The longer the better.

If you are young and decent looking you will probably not have much trouble finding even 'decent' girls.

There are 'major' differences with the West, though. Communication will be a huge issue, for sure, and I'm not talking about the language!

Good luck!

[TerryLH]

The harder you look for a 'life partner', the less likely it is you'll find them.

It seems you want to jump into a relationship pretty badly. From your first post it almost seems you're looking for a trophy 'partner'.

Just my opinion, not based on facts, of course.

[farang82]

Thank you to everyone for your opinions, I am soaking it all in.

[mooncake]

It seems you want to jump into a relationship pretty badly.

yes ...seems that way....and why's that?

I would like to know from the OP too

[DP25]

Yeah you could quite easily meet a university girl or other girl gainfully employed chick in Bangkok if you spend a decent amount of time there. Ignore the advice that 'hi-so' girls are out of your league, for some a 'hi-so' girl is any not wrapped around a pole on walking street. Your young and I'm assuming in decent shape (or will be) if you're going to do muay Thai so it will not be that hard.

[mooncake]

^ahh....but most hi-so have found their farang bf/husbands from their oversea study....back in farangland where they happened to be studying there.

and most of them were colleage sweetheart with similar ages and educational backgrounds. The BONUS is.. they both can commucate very well with each other in the same language which mostly is English....eleminating many guessworks here while fighting!

So I would suggest, the OP go back and look around in your own country....if you say....you're young and successful, you will definitely have more time to spend in cultivating the relastonship back from that end. You might be more successful, given your time constraint during your trip in thailand.

Edited September 10, 2009 by mooncake

[LooseCannon]

....

For a crash course in SEA women psychology, please read this.

Probably best to ignore 99% of this site - misogynist tripe for the most part - unless of course you are looking for a prostitute.

The harder you look for a 'life partner', the less likely it is you'll find them.

....

Best bit of advice so far - no need for desperation - character flaws are revealed in time.

[DP25]

^ahh....but most hi-so have found their farang bf/husbands from their oversea study....back in farangland where they happened to be studying there.

That's partially the point. Farang often think word hi-so means anyone who's not a prostitute, 7-11 clerk, or rice picker, and say all women but these are out of your grasp. A university student isn't even remotely out of his reach. Sure, he may have trouble getting real hi-so chick with a $50 million dollar bank account, but students and young professionals not at all.

[mooncake]

^ahh....but most hi-so have found their farang bf/husbands from their oversea study....back in farangland where they happened to be studying there.

That's partially the point. Farang often think word hi-so means anyone who's not a prostitute, 7-11 clerk, or rice picker, and say all women but these are out of your grasp. A university student isn't even remotely out of his reach. Sure, he may have trouble getting real hi-so chick with a $50 million dollar bank account, but students and young professionals not at all.

If you care to notice, "many" hi-so girls did not married to rich farangs to start with, most of them just former college sweethearts but overtime they have been building their lives together. Of course some with her parents helping out, but as for the rest…you will be very surprised ….

and..

Not only hiso who can study oversea, many normal kids that smart have also gone there under the government grants.

But again the later group wouldn’t be spending that much time off-campus. So you really have to be there studying in the same uni also.

I’m just saying that not all those oversea are hi-so.

But the "main problem" here for the OP, is that he wants a whirlwind romance and marriage in 1 month!!!...to a regular NICE girl WITH GOOD JOB & GOOD EDUCATION!!!

I think he can keep on DREAMING.....

Edited September 10, 2009 by mooncake

[farang82]

It seems you want to jump into a relationship pretty badly.

yes ...seems that way....and why's that?

I would like to know from the OP too

^ahh....but most hi-so have found their farang bf/husbands from their oversea study....back in farangland where they happened to be studying there.

and most of them were colleage sweetheart with similar ages and educational backgrounds. The BONUS is.. they both can commucate very well with each other in the same language which mostly is English....eleminating many guessworks here while fighting!

So I would suggest, the OP go back and look around in your own country....if you say....you're young and successful, you will definitely have more time to spend in cultivating the relastonship back from that end. You might be more successful, given your time constraint during your trip in thailand.

Hahahaha I have just as much trouble in my home country as in Asia as far as refusing to engage in a relationship. I have been involved in bodybuilding and mixed martial arts for the past 9 years. I came to Asia to meet new personalities and seek out some new friends while I train in Thailand. I came to BKK my first holiday, then jumped into Pattaya condo lease second holiday because of the sunny weather and nice beach, not realizing until later that the typical "club scene" or fitness center, shopping malls where someone my age would normally exchange digits, etc. seemed to be participating in an undercover freelancer or bar girl type "circuit". Found on consecutive occasions after hanging out with 30-35 seperate girls during my stay, (none of them being "paid" for the time we spent together), that the majorities agenda eventually was to somehow take advantage of finances. I went through all the "problems" and patented scenarios alot of more experienced farang write about, including buying their undercover thai husband drinks without at first knowing, witnessing many tears which I at first felt a little bad for but later realized these were just completely an award winning act. I know this is just the type of character I seemed to have selected but bringing back to what was behind my original posting. I saw the condo as a potential investment and liked the weather, would like to train for a good consecutive six months of mixed martial arts while managing my businesses back home online. . . At the same time dating women as I would in my own country or as any single male would do at my age group . As far as finding "good" ladies in Pattaya along with all the bad PR a newbie like me sees posted on this forum about "working" girls I didn't see much potential, hence posting the question of whether BKK could potentially be a better environment for someone like me to be in. (There is a Fairtex Muay Thai camp in BKK as well as Pattaya). I just really enjoyed the nice sunny weather and sandy beaches of Pattaya but would prefer not to live smack dab in a 95% red light district environment of ladies ..... at least not every night after night.

[Farma]

I’ve got to agree with mooncake. A 4 week whirlwind romance followed by marriage will be near on impossible.

I’ve got 4 friends who met and married their wives while the girls were studying overseas. 2 are coming up on 20 years happily married and the others are nearing 10 years together. 2 of them Chula girls.

Another 3 met girls online and married. 2 of those girls were Chula with the other from another large Bangkok uni.One divorced after 7 years.

Another met his wife through family contacts. They've been together 18 years.

It’s not impossible but does take a lot of patience and courting before meeting the parents.

[farang82]

sorry - a little more info added to the question:

27 yrs old, own three successfull businesses in my country. Have had severe heart breaks in past and the last ex fionce (3 years ago) that resulted in myself filing a bankruptcy (which have recovered from quite well). Sort of mid life crisis and thai is so cheap to live for me, went there to meet many of contacts I met online, networking (Fbook,M*pace) along with dating sites. I guess I fast forwarded a bit in my question. I leased a condo for a year and plan on training muay thai and mixed martial arts in thai after my surgery is 100% healed in about 4 more months. (Have fought professionally in past). What I meant was if something did end up becoming serious while there, what was the success rate or previous stories for bringing back home happily ever after? . . . So I have more education on the subject to know if I shall choose to stay a fully - armor plated heart - bachelor... or, butterfly.

I've got to agree with mooncake. A 4 week whirlwind romance followed by marriage will be near on impossible.

Who ever said anything about getting married after a 4 week whirwind romance?

[Farma]

Are there any positive true stories for a younger farang (27) to successfully find a life partner bring back to their country? I spent one month holiday and started hitting brick walls it seemed as far as finding some one like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Thanks for any experience or advice given . . . .

Maybe that

[farang82]

Are there any positive true stories for a younger farang (27) to successfully find a life partner bring back to their country? I spent one month holiday and started hitting brick walls it seemed as far as finding some one like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Thanks for any experience or advice given . . . .

Maybe that

oh, gotcha

[quiksilva]

Ok your later posts make you seem a little more realistic, and yes I think you'll find it easier to meet respectable girls in Bangkok as opposed to Patts.

The bar and club scene in BKK is still probably not the best place to find a life partner, but at least there is a scene here without the sleaze.

[jacobbells]

like a college student or real estate agent. . . Or is Bangkok a much more positive place for a young farang to look for his match?

Forget taking one home, make it a short-time one month better.

It's easy to score a college girl for the month so long as pay out a bit of cash, they aren't even as half as saintly as what most of these posters are making out. Make contacts through facebook, Hi5, or even direct dating sites. Straight forward to score with a normal Thai girl, just but her a mobile that'll be enough. To make successful scoring even easier, just tell her that youlll be in Thailand for a year not a month, and that youll send her money to pay for her apartment every month once you get home.

Another good place to meet college girls are the bars near the university, nearly every university in Thailand has lots of bars nearby. Buy a few drinks and youll be scoring in no time.