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Help Needed Chaps!

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Situation is this.

I have 2 very good mates in LOS who live very close to each other and I know they are both being ripped off by their women.

One is being done in a rapid 'traditional' fashion (sick buffalo, mamas sick etc) and the other is being done a little more slowly.

I've tried dropping hints via MSN until I'm blue in the face and they don't take them.

They sit in the bars night after night taking the piss out of other blokes for throwing their money at bgs when they are doing just the same themselves.

I get one and then the other every night on MSN telling me how the other is getting stung blah, blah, blah, and all I can do is nod along and I feel like I'm caught in the middle of them.

Now, if I was there in the flesh I'd tell them straight off, but I'm not due back until mid May and maybe later now more work has popped up and the situation is getting stupid and needs sorting now.

Do I tell them the truth by email and risk losing them as mates?

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I/d stay out of it Prof..........you may be telling them something they know already but dont want to hear. It can happen you stick your nose in with the best intentions in the world and its you who ends up in the sh!t . ...........whats the old saying "ignorance is bliss".

  • Author

But can I just stand by and watch this happen?

I'm under pressure from mutual friends from all sides to tell them and my morals dictate that I must say something because if I were in the same boat I'd like someone to help me out too.

You're spot on tf. I think they both know it too.

You're spot on tf. I think they both know it too.

Theres your answer then.........if they do know it and are happy with the situation or choose to ignore it let them get on with it. :o

  • Author

The thing is they aren't happy about each others situation and neither can afford it for to much longer which is why I feel I need to step in.....

Think of the positive side of things... they are helping the Thai economy and can directly see the benefits of their contribution. :o

It sounds like they are "big boys" and apparently aware of the situation, so "let sleeping dogs lie".

The thing is they aren't happy about each others situation and neither can afford it for to much longer which is why I feel I need to step in.....

if you are not there,then how do you know for sure they are being ripped off. It could be just a case of 'My girls better than his'. If that is the case,(and any way you said they are both telling you things behind the others back, that it's not a three way deal and they are both saying things about you behind your back)leave them to it. You don't need mates like that.

  • Author

I have a 3rd party in the same town who confirms that between the two of them it is indeed a case of 'my girls better than yours' however that doesn't really alter the fact that they're getting stung.

John. I agree with your sentiment, however if we all stand by and let our girlfriends relatives get fat from others hard earned money then I weep for Thailand.

It may be a situation you are happy with but if either of my mates realised it was going on they'd blow....

id tell them.

in fact i have told friends the same before and although they didnt listen at the time, they realised what pricks they were when the shit hit the fan.

tell em...and when it goes tits up. you can simply remind them with a smug look on your face ...."i told you so"

just check into the hospial before you meet up with them so you are sure of getting a bed after the emense kicking you will get to wipe the smug look off.

I have a 3rd party in the same town who confirms that between the two of them it is indeed a case of 'my girls better than yours' however that doesn't really alter the fact that they're getting stung.

John. I agree with your sentiment, however if we all stand by and let our girlfriends relatives get fat from others hard earned money then I weep for Thailand.

It may be a situation you are happy with but if either of my mates realised it was going on they'd blow....

Put it another way....................if it was not Thailand,but in the UK,where plenty of girls get fat,literally, off their husbands earnings,what would you do there? Mind your own business probably. I know I would.

  • Author

I wouldn't Lampers! I've done it in the UK but face to face. I don't like the cyberspace thing too much though.

Split, They're both 50+ so the chances of them putting me in hospital are remote unless I get a formation zimmer frame attack a la Benny Hill....

I have a 3rd party in the same town who confirms that between the two of them it is indeed a case of 'my girls better than yours' however that doesn't really alter the fact that they're getting stung.

John. I agree with your sentiment, however if we all stand by and let our girlfriends relatives get fat from others hard earned money then I weep for Thailand.

It may be a situation you are happy with but if either of my mates realised it was going on they'd blow....

Put it another way....................if it was not Thailand,but in the UK,where plenty of girls get fat,literally, off their husbands earnings,what would you do there? Mind your own business probably. I know I would.

Bingo. I would just add that if they are 50+ and are yet shallow enough to play 'my girls better than yours' childish games, how much empathy for their "suffering" should one have? I'd prefer to let them live out their happy delusions by staying silent.

Split, They're both 50+ so the chances of them putting me in hospital are remote unless I get a formation zimmer frame attack a la Benny Hill....

theyre old enough to know better then.

my mate that i told was green to thailand and only in this late 20s.

still, the power of the pussy is great.

as long as it isnt affecting them in their health(both physically and mentally)

then maybe better to stay out.

but id be pissed at them.definately.

Stay out of it Prof. I've been in a similar position - one of my girlfriends owned a share of a bar and she had lots of girls who worked for her. Some of them were absolute stunners and had many "boyfriends". One particular girl - Joy - had a long term American boyfriend who would come to Thailand every 3 to 6 months and spend ridiculous amounts of money on her. He lived with his mother in the US and was a bit weird - never could hold a normal conversation with the rest of the blokes in the bar, just sat there, drinking, giving drinks to the girls and having the time of his life. This was soi 13, pre-Chuwit's thugs.

Then she turns up with a really nice - and apparently sensible - English guy who knew nothing about the American. So he was telling me about how wonderful she was, how he wants to take her to one of the islands for a holiday, bought her gold, plans to take her to England, etc., etc. So I ask my g/f whether Joy has finished with the American: No, and she has a Thai boyfriend, too. :o And she's building a really nice house somewhere (Surin or Sisaket) to live in when she's "finished" with Bangkok.

Now, if I tell the UK bloke - who by this time considers himself a mate because he knows I'm the boyfriend of the bar owner and a fellow Brit - what would happen? If I told him then I would lose my g/f for sure because she has known Joy for many years, AND I would lose my friendship with Joy (who was always fun to be with, and beautiful eye-candy :D ), AND I would never be welcome at the bar again - which was my second home - so I say nothing.

Every time he (UK guy) tried to talk to me, the other girls would always keep within ear-shot (listening range). Farang talking to farang was definitely not appreciated. But we did talk and I told him what I could - I had known Joy for a long time, she was very popular, always fun to be with. But when he asked about other boyfriends.... "Oooh, dunno mate, you'll have to ask her".

Of course, it all came to a head when the US guy comes back while the UK guy is on an island with Joy. He finds out about the UK guy, breaks up with Joy, Joy comes back to Bangkok, tearful reunion with the US guy, and UK guy learns a lesson that cost him about 100,000 baht.

Stay out of it Prof. I've been in a  similar position - one of  my girlfriends owned a share of a bar and she had lots of girls who worked for her. Some of them were absolute stunners and had many "boyfriends". One particular girl - Joy - had a long term American boyfriend who would come to Thailand  every 3 to 6 months and spend ridiculous amounts of money on her. He lived with  his mother in the US and was a bit weird - never could hold a normal conversation with the rest of the blokes in the bar, just sat there, drinking, giving drinks to the girls and having the time of his life. This was soi 13, pre-Chuwit's thugs.

Then she turns up with a really nice - and apparently sensible - English guy who knew nothing about the American. So he was telling me about how wonderful she was, how he wants  to take her to one of the islands for a holiday, bought her gold, plans to take her to England, etc., etc. So I ask my g/f whether Joy has finished with the American: No, and she has a Thai boyfriend, too.  :o And she's building a really nice house somewhere (Surin or Sisaket) to live in when she's "finished" with Bangkok.

Now, if I tell the UK bloke - who by this time considers himself a mate because he knows I'm the boyfriend of the bar owner and a fellow Brit - what would happen? If I told him then I would lose my g/f for sure because she has known Joy for many years, AND I would lose my friendship with Joy (who was always fun to be with, and beautiful eye-candy :D ), AND I would never be welcome at the bar again - which was my second home - so I say nothing.

Every time he (UK guy) tried to talk to me, the other girls would always keep within ear-shot (listening range). Farang talking to farang was definitely not appreciated. But we did talk and I told him what I could - I had known Joy for a long time, she was very popular, always fun to be with. But when he asked about other boyfriends.... "Oooh, dunno mate, you'll have to ask her".

Of course, it all came to a head when the US guy comes back while the UK guy is on an island with Joy. He finds out about the UK guy, breaks up with Joy, Joy comes back to Bangkok, tearful reunion with the US guy, and UK guy learns a lesson that cost him about 100,000 baht.

It's called 'Moonlighting'

They're both 50+ so the chances of them putting me in hospital are remote unless I get a formation zimmer frame attack a la Benny Hill....

Remember the saying - "No Fool Like An Old Fool"

Been in a similar situation with a close friend in Brazil where this little sweet thing and her family were cleaning him out! No matter how many hints/examples that were pointed out to him, he didn't get it until the final reality set in for him.

I equate to to an alcoholic who has to hit bottom before clarity hits him.

Best of luck with your mates, Fart, I know how you feel... :o

Prof- not your problem. I stay away from tilak business - only cause you grief in the end, trust me on that!!!

It all depends if they are smart enough to realise "Don't shoot the messenger".It's a similar situation that I was in many years ago.A mate of mines GF was screwing around something fierce. I told him face to face. He was big enough to realise that I was not the one doing anything wrong.I would like to think that a mate of mine would do the same thing for me. :o

I say tell em, "IF" you can supply undisputiple PROOF. If you can supply that then there should be no problems with your mates but I think you might have he11 to pay from their ol ladies if or when they find out that it was you that told them. If there is no chance of that, then I would speak up. IF they don't get it then, then you have not done a bad thing and if they do not respect you for just trying to help them then you don't need them as friends. If my wife or even a friend was screwing me out of money and my other friends knew about it and didn't tell me, then I would be even more pissed.

the problem is a lot of times they know... they know there's no logical reason they should be shelling out for X, Y, and Z... but they're hooked. They rationalize everything until they're ruined. Don't know if this is a good situation to lose a friend over or not.

"Steven"

Try dropping a few subtle hints.....nothing too major but nothing damnable either.

When it goes belly-up for them, they will say that you knew all along and ask you why you didnt tell them straight out.....your reply is...."would you have listened?"

These guys are playing off against each other and the girls are probably doing the same to fuel these guys along, I dont blame the girls....these guys are in competiton against each other, I dont think either of them have stopped to think about whether they really love these girls but rather is it the competiton against each other that is the attraction for them both.

Doomed to fail and then there will be 2 more guys that talk about how they were ripped off by Thai girls....The girls arent ripping them off....they are doing it to themselves.

:o

A mate of mine is getting bled dry by his fat falang live in lover (some of you guys know him too) back here in Adelaide and nobody can tell him, deep down he knows what is going on but refuses to acknowledge it, so we just let sleeping dogs lie and it's "up to him"

I tried to give some advice to an Ozmate before he might lose 300,000b in Los, but he won't listen.

He's only been to LoS twice and is full of the Joys of Spring.

Now he won't contact me.

I figure I've done my bit, but it pisses me off that this guy has worked very, very hard to put that kind of cash together.

If someone had warned me about my 1st live-in 5 yrs ago, I too would have ignored the well meant advice.

Now, I'm just an old cynic & nothing amazes me with LoS girls, relationships & money :D

Up to you Fart! :o

My mate Stan loaned a record to another mate Jason. Later he asked for it back but Jason swore blind he'd already returned it. I know them both, and both were totally convinced they were right. Both KNEW they were right.

I pointed out to them both that although they knew they each were right, in fact one of them was wrong, and why did they assume it was the other.

The point is the OP KNOWS he is right. But is he? What one considers being fleeced, another feels is generosity. What one thinks is giving too much, the other might enjoy giving.

I just don't really think that the OP necessarily knows what is going on better than the 2 people invlolved. How much money is really changing hands.

From what I have seen many poeple here have an automatic suspicion of BGs and Tgs, and might well be jumping to the defensive. Of course we cannot tell, not knowing the people involved, but I reckon the OP should recognise that he might, in fact, be mis-reading the situation, or drawing the lines between generosity and being fleeced in a different place to the two people. Coming from such a view point would make the delivery of any advice much more effective, and reduce the likelihood of the friends taking the advice the wrong way. And of course he might well actually be wrong himself.

(by the way, a sheepish Jason finally found the record at his home)

You are wasting your time, Farty

When the mists of lust cloud the eyes all advice is ignored.

You concern and friendship is all going to waste.

I have a friend in CM. Has been to LOS many times and knows the score.

He has taken up with a BG knowing that he is boyfriend number 2.

He has bought her a house and a car. He cannot afford either.

He has spent all his savings and borrowed more from his parents.

He will not listen to the truth. He is deaf to reason.

You are wasting your time, Farty

When the mists of lust cloud the eyes all advice is ignored.

You concern and  friendship is all going to waste.

I have a friend in CM.  Has been to LOS many times and knows the score.

He has taken up with a BG knowing that he is boyfriend number 2.

He has bought her a house and a car.  He cannot afford either.

He has spent all his savings  and borrowed more from his parents.

He will not listen to the truth.  He is deaf to reason.

A very sad state of affairs :o

Stay out of it Prof. I've been in a  similar position - one of  my girlfriends owned a share of a bar and she had lots of girls who worked for her. Some of them were absolute stunners and had many "boyfriends". One particular girl - Joy - had a long term American boyfriend who would come to Thailand  every 3 to 6 months and spend ridiculous amounts of money on her. He lived with  his mother in the US and was a bit weird - never could hold a normal conversation with the rest of the blokes in the bar, just sat there, drinking, giving drinks to the girls and having the time of his life. This was soi 13, pre-Chuwit's thugs.

Then she turns up with a really nice - and apparently sensible - English guy who knew nothing about the American. So he was telling me about how wonderful she was, how he wants  to take her to one of the islands for a holiday, bought her gold, plans to take her to England, etc., etc. So I ask my g/f whether Joy has finished with the American: No, and she has a Thai boyfriend, too.  :o And she's building a really nice house somewhere (Surin or Sisaket) to live in when she's "finished" with Bangkok.

Now, if I tell the UK bloke - who by this time considers himself a mate because he knows I'm the boyfriend of the bar owner and a fellow Brit - what would happen? If I told him then I would lose my g/f for sure because she has known Joy for many years, AND I would lose my friendship with Joy (who was always fun to be with, and beautiful eye-candy :D ), AND I would never be welcome at the bar again - which was my second home - so I say nothing.

Every time he (UK guy) tried to talk to me, the other girls would always keep within ear-shot (listening range). Farang talking to farang was definitely not appreciated. But we did talk and I told him what I could - I had known Joy for a long time, she was very popular, always fun to be with. But when he asked about other boyfriends.... "Oooh, dunno mate, you'll have to ask her".

Of course, it all came to a head when the US guy comes back while the UK guy is on an island with Joy. He finds out about the UK guy, breaks up with Joy, Joy comes back to Bangkok, tearful reunion with the US guy, and UK guy learns a lesson that cost him about 100,000 baht.

It's called 'Moonlighting'

:D

I have 2 very good mates

and that is where your loyalties should lie.

if they are "very good mates" then you wont lose them.

they wont thank you if they find out you knew and didnt tell them.

do the right thing and tell them , and then its up to them what action they take.

thais certainly look out for each other , and i believe we should too.

I have 2 very good mates

and that is where your loyalties should lie.

if they are "very good mates" then you wont lose them.

they wont thank you if they find out you knew and didnt tell them.

do the right thing and tell them , and then its up to them what action they take.

thais certainly look out for each other , and i believe we should too.

Couldn't agree more. :o

Now I'm going to upset half of you at least. Some of you make me so angry :o Everyone of you that has replied here puts the blame fully on the shoulders of the Thai girl. 'Should we tell him his girls messing around?'

Well let me tell you all you would be saints out there,I have lived in Thailand for 10 years,and I know that around 75% of Farangs with Thai wifes do more messing around than they will ever do.

An instance outside our pub recently. A Farang hit his Thai wife with some force,because there had been a rumour she had been messing around. The fact that the previous week she had caught him in bed with a bar girl had no importance. Why should it. He was a Falang with money so he was entitled to sleep with who he wanted to. At least that is what he reckoned.

Don't forget I used to live in Pattaya before being vanquished to the provinces and during my time there as a 5x a year holiday maker,I used to eat,drink & sleep around with the local ex-pats. Each group had their own destination where they could go one afternoon a week and drink and screw to their hearts content,before returning to their wives after a round of 'Golf' The W...... Inn used to be a surefire place to meet up on a friday afternoon. Maybe it just hurts our male ego to hear of or see girls doing the same. Remember a girl that sleeps around is a slut,a guy that sleeps around is a great guy,one of the best. OK, now I'm going to get ripped to pieces by the 99% of you out there that have never cheated on their girls (or boys) but I know it happens. And so do all of you really

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