Help Needed For Rape Victim...recovery Support, Professional Or Group Facility

[Lenape]

HELP NEEDED FOR RAPE VICTIM... RECOVERY SUPPORT, PROFESSIONAL OR GROUP FACILITY.....

This is a most serious posting as I was called by a friend trying to save someone's life.

Does anyone know of any places, professionals, networks, resources where a woman (who has been raped, abused, abandonded) can go for support and assistance to recover?

I recieved a call from a friend, looking in dire need to help a woman who has tried to kill herself.

She has not recovered from a most severe series of crimes,

She was taken by an aunt at age 14 and 'sold' to a European man in Pattaya who violently raped her. She was left injured in the street. She ended up in prostitution. She tried to fight out of it and she had tried to find a decent boyfriend and to get back into school. She has been trying to hold down normal (tutoring & sales) jobs and attend university. She has no family support as they deserted and disowned her when she stopped sending them money.

Note- She has above average intelligence and courage to fight for her life, but lacks the resources, knowledge, and social support to take the steps to recovery.

Now, alone, she cannot cope with the emotional trauma that has stayed with her. She has seen a therapist, and tried some medication from a psychiatrist, but her condition requires more serious assistance. My friend was not able to support her, as her situation requires more than a single friend can do.

In the past weeks, she has cut herself severely, taken pills. She also can have violent outbursts and be destructive to people or things near to her. After not succeeding in suicide this week, tonight she went out and got drunk (as I understand, she does not normally drink at all) and asked men in bars to rape and kill her. Fortunately this did not happen, and she came back to my friends place (in Bangkok), in the middle of the night, and passed out. He called me and I believe is checking hospitals to see if they can help her. I don't think he will have much luck there, but I dont know.

In the USA and Europe there are support centers and special groups where a woman who has been raped, and has no where to turn, can stay and be part of a network to help her survive and eventually recover and rebuild her life.

Does anyone know of ANYTHING along these lines in Thailand?

Rape Recovery / Women's Support Group, Abused Womens Group, or possibly a charitable group or religious, Buddhist, Christian, Thai, or foreign?

Please share any suggestion for a person in mortal need.

Absolutely do not reply with any snide or ungentlemanly remarks to this vital posting.

A lot of info, and most of us are not doctors, but with luck, someone of you knows with whom and where she can recieve some assistance.

I am sure many woman have suffered from this horrible fate here in Thailand. This is a further tragedy to prevent, lets pitch in.

[Benjie]

Surely the years in prostitution is the main source of the problem here?

There are some Charities / Refuge places that might be able to help but if she is attempting suicide then perhaps some sort of mental health facility would be most use.

[Lenape]

Surely the years in prostitution is the main source of the problem here?

There are some Charities / Refuge places that might be able to help but if she is attempting suicide then perhaps some sort of mental health facility would be most use.

Do you know of any places specifically?

PARDON, but we cannot blame the victim. Surely the family who sold her to be raped and the rapist is the main source of the problem here.

Now, the immediate problem is that it appears there are few options of support and recovery. Simply, she has no where to turn.

I am researching online, but only finding results in the USA and UK. The few international organizations (like Apne Aap, Somaly Mam, Women for Women Int'l only have links for donations or phone numbers to NYC). There must be some accessible options ?

[Benjie]

Why assume I was putting the blame on anyone?

Try this for a start.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_non-g...ons_in_Thailand

[Lenape]

The link is appreciated. I found some sites, and we will be calling to them. Hopefully someone has some first hand knowledge of a place that could benefit this woman.

[Mrjlh]

Try here:

http://www.apsw-thailand.org/Kanitnaree_EN.htm

[Mario2008]

Benjie has a good point, don't focus on the rape. You wrote she already had received some help, but it wasn't working out. Try to look for help people in prostitution, that might lead to better suited help for her.

Some of the organisations you have been given a link to must be able to direct you to the right place.

Edit:

the following organisations are active in the fight against (child) prostitution in Thailand and wil have contacts with organisation who might be able to help:

http://www.depdc.org/

FACE

and

EMPOWER http://www.empowerfoundation.org/

[camerata]

In my experience the folks at Empower are good people and could definitely steer you in the right direction. However, this girl seems way past the help of a women's shelter and probably needs to start with psychiatric help and medication.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

In my experience the folks at Empower are good people and could definitely steer you in the right direction. However, this girl seems way past the help of a women's shelter and probably needs to start with psychiatric help and medication.

Empower is highly recommended by people who should know.

[bina]

try pm'ing sheryl from the health forum; she is a nurse and she also has a list of professionals that might help in this sort of thing; might even be a pinned subject int he health forum; as this question arrises from time to time...

bina

israel

might want to move it health forum? there have been other posts of this nature there in the past...

bina

[camerata]

might want to move it health forum? there have been other posts of this nature there in the past...

Yes. It really doesn't have much to do with Buddhism.

[Lenape]

Please suggest the best way to post all the information (that I have gathered for Rape Recovery - Abuse Shelter - Women's Support ) so that other members may be able to access it efficiently.

At present, I have a list (in Microsoft Word) of 11 organizations offering various forms of support. None of these contacts have been vetted nor given with first hand accounts.

Additionaly have a list of psychology, psychiatry, and counseling resources to sort for relevence to rape and womens wellness.

Would this site have a location to permanently post and redirect related inquiries too? Or will the search functions be relied upon to get other members access to information listed in this forum?

[Mario2008]

Such lists are aleways usefull. You can ask the moderator for the healt form to pin such a list. or update it. You can send a PM with the list attached to sheryl or me. I will than make sure she gets it.

[Sheryl]

Thanks to those who have provided some suggested resources, I also sent a PM to the OP with some additional ones e.g. Foundation for Women and friends of Women.

Lenape, I am compiling a resource list to put as a pinned notice, if you could PM to me what you have I will be sure to include it, thanks

With respect to the specific situation outlined here it is, alas, all too common. Self-stigmatization , i.e. an internalization of the societal judgment of being a "bad girl", plays a big role. In that sense, Empower probably the best situated to help this woman get back a sense of self worth which is needed to avail of any other sort of help. Also, support group run by former sex worker at the Foundation for Women.

One question for OP -- is there any drug use? Often is in such cases and greatly complicates the situation. Amphetamine use especially common.

[Lenape]

As I understand, no drug use, nor even alcohol use is part of the equation, fortunately. This is a highly intelligent, and willing young adult who seems mostly to need a support network, new peers and mentors with whom to develop coping skills and start to healthy lifestyle.

Hopefully you recieved the list of women's groups that I pm'd to you today. I believe she will be seeking some assistance from those groups... A visit from the hospital only offered 3 options 1. psychiatric medications (like Lexipro, Depakine, Seroquel). 2. To stay at the General Hospital (if a bed was open) 3. to go to the mental hospital (and stay with the chronic/ psychotic cases)

She is going to try the medication, to level out her mood swings, but, the other options offer nothing constructive for social and skill building. Really, from what I heard, the resources and level of care was shockingly limited.

Yes, self-stigmatization may be a factor, also, straight forward stigmatization. She tried to open up to extended family members (who had not been part of the core group that had exploited her), but, they just told her to deal with it and don't act crazy. She has episodes of depression and upset, and negative memories to contend with, that typical Thais dont seem to relate with. These rejections only compound massive feelings of isolation and loneliness. During those periods, she has no one to turn to and help her pull herself back up.

Hopefully she can find some good associations.

Lets keep this thread going in case any more the 100's of thousands who come through this site choose to share resources or participate in helping some of the 100's of thousands of women who came into our paths by way of harm.

[Sheryl]

Yes, got your Pm and will make a pinned notice soon, just working flat out at present.

Let us know what luck you have with these groups as feedback would be helpful.

In terms of counseling, there are some good resources in the pinned notice on mental Health Resources in Thailand, one of them (I believe Bangkok Psych Associates or something like that) especially recommended as a good option for Thais in need of counseling.

While I agree that some type of support group for women who have faced/are facing similiar hurdles would be important, one-on-one counseling with a supportive therapist might also help. Not a good idea to be on meds only without also some therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy can help a great deal with problesm of negative self image etc.

Good luck and bless you for helping this woman.

[Zaalti]

Hello, this is a terrible thing that's happened to this poor woman. What happened to her is in reality, child abuse. I am a Clinical Nurse specializing in Psychiatry. Cutting up (self-harming) is very common to victims of child abuse and rape. It is their way of coping. Many self-harmers also has a diagnosis of Personality Disorder and some child abuse victims become Personality Disordered. The anti-depressant medications is only a band-aid to the real trauma. What she needs is Psychotherapy. Unfortunately, in her circumstances she won't be able to afford Psychologists fees, unless some good Samaritan is willing to finance her therapy. I wished her luck.

[Lenape]

Happy to see some intested feedback. This area - the need for support/healing/skills/etc. for young women who have been victimized seems to be very great. The young woman who triggered me to start the post may be one of 100's of thousands.

In her case, there is some limited support, from a friend and myself, unfortunately we are not independently wealthy.

She has started to see an American counselor, a lady who vested herself with extra time and decreased session costs, and talked with the psychiatrist who prescribed medicine for bi-polar disorder (although I worry the diagnosis is a 'guess'). It was VERY difficult to even find these people. Presently, we found out there may only be about 300 psychiatrist in this highly populated country, with even smaller proportions of psychologist and counselors.

Simply, it seems medical and coping support for mental health is almost non-existant in the culture...? What there is is prohibitively expensive.

Even with seeing a counselor (once a week) and some medication, it seems this woman is still in a serious danger zone. She has no family nor friends, as she broke away from those exploiting her. Extreme isolation, staying in her room alone, seems to be a dangerous trend. Simply, she will need people she can talk with who are able to understand her.

One thought that comes to mind, since we often find support groups in our (western) home countries being based with churches, is,

Do the Buddhist Temples offer shelter, rehabilitation, guidance, instruction for women in need?

What I heard about Empower is that it is based literally in the middle of the Patong, Silom bar area. They offer basic services for women and girls who are still involved with the bars and prostitution. They may offer some very basic counseling, and very basic education (such as for girls whose familys never even got them into school). They seem to be offering a 'first step' for women to cope with or move out from the exploitation.

While this is vitally needed and great, it does not help in this case, because she has already distanced herself from those areas (bars), and does not want to be near them. Also she is highly intelligent with some education. She needs 'the next step' of support and fellowship as she works towards founding a healthy lifestyle, education, and work.

Right now, she is trying to do this, day by day, almost completely on her own.

When I hear more, I will add more to this post.

As I begin to look at this situation and more, it seems there is a dire need for 'coping skills' to be taught to teenagers and young adults in this country. While I dont know any statistics, it seems that many victims of abuse, neglect, & rape later end up in very bad circumstances. Sadly, I would imagine the numbers would be astounding. Simply, these young people may feel there is no where to turn, no hope, and become further victimized by people who take advantage of their wounds, need, and vulnerability.

It even seems that people who suffer from 'normal' difficulties, such as relationship problems, "heart break", loss of job, financial pressures, pregnancy, etc. end up reacting self-destructively and getting into bad circumstances.

When I think of this, I think of hopelessness. Hopelessness, no where to turn, and no coping skills.

Most people face some major problems in their young adulthood, but hopefully the family/culture has given them people they can turn to for guidance and support, skills to begin to sort out and resolve problems step by step, examples of redemption and 'a second chance' on life. When a person feels they have these chances (to turn things around), they have Hope.

For those with no family support....in Thailand, Where can they turn to? Who will listen and guide? Where is the hope?

[camerata]

One thought that comes to mind, since we often find support groups in our (western) home countries being based with churches, is,

Do the Buddhist Temples offer shelter, rehabilitation, guidance, instruction for women in need?

No, because the monks are supposed to be renunciants working towards attaining enlightenment. They are not even allowed to touch a woman. In theory, the way it works is that monks attain wisdom on how to lead a happy and peaceful life, and then impart what they know to the laity. Often, Thais can get considerable peace of mind by simply going to a temple and getting a blessing or (for men only) ordaining for awhile. But that won't work for people with mental problems.

For those with no family support....in Thailand, Where can they turn to? Who will listen and guide? Where is the hope?

Separated from family, life is difficult for Thais. There certainly used to be NGOs with shelters for abused women, but maybe they are suffering from a lack of funding during the recession.

[Sheryl]

There are shelters but they are mainly for emergency situations. From what I hear of this woman's situation she has a (physically) safe living situation already but is suffering from (1) psychological trauma and (2) social isolation due to not having supportive friends/family and bearing a social stigma from her former sex work. A support group of women in similiar circumstances i.e. already out of sex work and rebuilding their lives would be excellent if one can be found.

Lanape, have you looked into the Foundation for Women? There is (or was) a support group there led by a lady named Chananchida .

Another thing to consider, especially since yuou ask about wats, is having her do a course of Vipassana meditation as this can greatly help heal emotional scars. in addition it would connect her with Thais who are compassionate and likely to accept her without judgement. She should be reasonably stab;e on her medication before trying this as the technique is a serious one and not possible to understake if serious mental illness is present.

http://www.kamala.dhamma.org/ is the website for an excellent center just 2 hours outside Bangkok. I live just across from it and would be happy to invite have this lady to come visit my home and to show her around the Center, tell her about my own experiences with meditation etc . I would be most happy to do this, maybe talk it over with her and if she is comfortable with the idea send me a Pm and we'll set something up.

[Lenape]

Sheryl,

thank you....she will be going to Foundation for Women, and meeting a Catholic Nun who does support work next week. The following weekend she plans to go to a Buddhist retreat recommended by a lady from Empower. A few choices are coming up, after some digging.

I will also let her know about this medication center. Hopefully a good building block for her once she is stable enough to utilize what they offer.

I look forward to sharing more information that we can compile and offer to others.

[2008bangkok]

With all dues respect the Op seems like she has a attitude ... lets not forget thsi is a open forum and if you want to a write details about this problem then expect others to have there say aswell..

This is obviously a sensitive subject so maybe you would be better using a search engine and typing 'counselling Thailand' or something to that effect, and not post on a forum if oyu dont like the replys

[Sheryl]

With all dues respect the Op seems like she has a attitude ... lets not forget thsi is a open forum and if you want to a write details about this problem then expect others to have there say aswell..

This is obviously a sensitive subject so maybe you would be better using a search engine and typing 'counselling Thailand' or something to that effect, and not post on a forum if oyu dont like the replys

What on earth are you talking about?

The OP (who is a he, not a she) has not indicated a dissatisfaction with replies. And has not posted for almost a month. Not sure why you are reopening this thread nor what your issue with it is...

?????

[fishhooks]

Agreed Sheryl, ridiculous and not called for!

[Comehome]

Hi!

What a terrible experience!!

I am not an expert but from what i have heard from ladies working in "womens centres" in Sweden, the most important thing is to make her understand that whatever she did or said, it wasn't HER fault.

She needs therapy or just talk with someone that will not judge her or put ANY kind of blame on her.

She needs to understand that no matter how short skirt she was wearing, no matter HOW much she was flirting or whatever she did to EXCITE the man, SHE is not to blame for HIS actions.

If she keeps blaming herself she will end up in destructive behaviour for sure.

Many teenagers blame themselves for different reasons and it often leads to destructive behaviour and they might start to hurt themselves. ANYTHING to get away from the pain they have inside. Alcohol, pills, drugs...anything.

Some are so filled with anxiety from bad experiences that they do anything to get that pain out they have inside, they even start to hurt themselves.

It is cold "erno" and it is when people cut themselves with razorblades, put needles in their arms, burn themselves with lighters etc. only to PUNISH themselves for what ever abuse they have been traumatized by.

Therefor the most important thing is to let them talk with someone who will not judge them, they need someone who will only listen and give them time to pour out some of that pain.

I have a friend whos sister was raped at 14 years old, and unfortunately she did not get all the help she needed, and she comitted suicide at the age of 18.

Before that she stopped eating and was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and she cut herself badly and had terrible scars on both her arms. She tried to take her life several times but we found her in time, thank god.

She went to therapy but was too damaged to be able to recieve the help she was given.

In the end she was in an institution but she managed to make a snare out of her bedsheet in her room and hung herself in her room.

I don't know what kind of help there is to get in Thailand but perhaps the church is an option.

Even if she is buddhist she might just find someone nice just to talk to.

Do you understand how i mean?

Regardless of religious belief there must be someone she can turn to and trust, someone who believes in her and can take time to be there for her....like a sort of guardian. To lead her back to life again, perhaps find her a job in time....away from prostitution.

I understand she finds it difficult to trust in anyone at the moment and she might not be interested in any help at all to start with, but she needs it, even if she doesn't say or show it.

I am just pouring my heart out here...trying to come up with something...i wish there was something we could do for this girl.

Let us know what happens,

Lots of love and compassion to the girl,

/comehome

[Comehome]

Something just came up in my mind.

Have you heard of Ecpat?

It is a swedish network working to prevent child prostitution and abuse of children and minors.

Here is a link, i think they work in Thailand.

Perhaps you can try with them:

http://www.ecpat.net/EI/index.asp

http://ecpat-thailand.org/th/index.html

Here is what i found:

Country : Thailand

Organisation Name : ECPAT Foundation Thailand

Membership Status : Affiliate Groups

Contact Person : Ms. Katesanee Chantrakul/Mr. Pravit Ekcharoensook

Address : 426/22 Mooban Kokgalae, Tambon Rimkok

Telephone : +66 53 750 167

Fax : +66 53 750 164

Website : http://ecpat-thailand.org

Edited because i added some info i found. /comehome

Edited December 21, 2009 by camerata
Email address deleted as per forum rules. Please use PM instead or post in forum.

[Comehome]

Hi!

What is happening?

Any news about the girl?

I hope she gets all the help and support she needs.

Do wish for some update, i really feel for this girl.

/comehome