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It's A Taksin!


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They think they have found him crossing the Cambodia border to Thailand and:

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: A Thaksin! A Thaksin! A Thaksin! We've got a Thaksin! A Thaksin!

YELLOW SHIRT #1: We have found a Thaksin, might we burn him?

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Burn him! Burn!

INTERPOL: How do you know he is a Thaksin?

YELLOW SHIRT #2: He looks like one.

INTERPOL: Bring him forward.

THAKSIN: I'm not a Thaksin. I'm not a Thaksin.

INTERPOL: But you are dressed as one.

THAKSIN: They dressed me up like this.

YELLOW SHIRTS: No, we didn't... no.

THAKSIN: And this isn't my square head, it's a false one.

INTEPOL: Well?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: Well, we did do the square head.

INTERPOL: The side parting?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: And the smirk -- but he is a Thaksin!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Burn him! Thaksin! Thaksin! Burn him!

INTERPOL: Did you dress him up like this?

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.

YELLOW SHIRT #1: He has got multiple passports!

INTERPOL: You there, what makes you think he's a Thaksin?

YELLOW SHIRT #3: Well, he turned me into a Red Shirt.

INTERPOL: A Red Shirt?

YELLOW SHIRT #3: I got better.

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Burn him anyway!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Burn! Burn him!

INTERPOL: Quiet, Quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a Thaksin.

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Are there? What are they?

INTERPOL: Tell me, what do you do with Thaksin's?

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Burn!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Burn, burn them up!

INTERPOL: And what do you burn apart from Thaksin's?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: More Thaksin's!

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Dry buffalo dung!

INTERPOL: So, why do Thaksin's burn?

[pause]

YELLOW SHIRT #3: B--... 'cause they're made of dry buffalo dung...?

INTERPOL: Good!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...

INTERPOL: So, how do we tell whether he is made of dry buffalo dung ?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: Build a house out of him.

INTERPOL: Aah, but can you not also build a house out of stone?

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Oh, yeah.

INTERPOL: Does dung sink in water?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: No, no.

YELLOW SHIRT #2: It floats! It floats!

YELLOW SHIRT #1: Throw him into the klong!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: The klong!

INTERPOL: What also floats in water?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: Corn!

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Dead fish!

YELLOW SHIRT #3: Very small coins!

YELLOW SHIRT #1: Sato!

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Khao Man Gai!

YELLOW SHIRT #1: Cherry apples!

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Mud!

YELLOW SHIRT #3: tuk tuks -- tuk tuk's!

YELLOW SHIRT #2: Gold -- Gold!

INTERNATIONAL OBSERVER: A duck.

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Oooh!!

INTERPOL: Exactly! So, logically...,

YELLOW SHIRT #1: If... he.. weighs the same as a duck, he's made of dry buffalo dung.

INTERPOL: And therefore--?

YELLOW SHIRT #1: A Thaksin!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: A Thaksin!

INTERPOL: We shall use my larger scales!

[yelling]

INTERPOL: Right, remove the supports!

[whop]

[creak]..THAKSIN SIDE IS DOWN COMPARED TO THE DRIED BUFFALO DUNG!

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: A Thaksin! A Thaksin!

THAKSIN: It's a fair cop.

YELLOW SHIRT CROWD: Burn him! Burn! [yelling]

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