Stickman

[geroreilly]

Does anyone know what happened to Stickman?  www.stickmanbangkok.com.

He hasnt updated the site in over 2 weeks which is unlike him!  Anyone know whats going on?

[markt]

Maybe he fell for one of the scams ?

[chonabot]

Server problems combined with a break upcountry , I believe.

[Axel]

Anyway, he is back.

[OzzieMan]

if you don't read Stickmans weekly, your just out of touch

[Axel]

if you don't read Stickmans weekly, your just out of touch

For me getting a bit boring as basically always the same. But reading should be a must for any new comer, before buying land, buffaloes, hospital fees etc.

Could imagine many of the new ones might recognize themselves or even better, the girl they fall in love to.

[penelope]

if you don't read Stickmans weekly, your just out of touch

..with the lo-so community..so fricken what ?? I'm more interested in what the movers and shakers are doing. I guess tha's what "Newsweek Asia" is for  

[chonabot]

Penelope , go move and shake your arse elsewhere , you fricken hi-so-so  

[Axel]

if you don't read Stickmans weekly, your just out of touch

..with the lo-so community..so fricken what ?? I'm more interested in what the movers and shakers are doing. I guess tha's what "Newsweek Asia" is for  

"Newsweek Asia" I never read, afraid they might write some mis-informed nonsense about me. stickman will not, he does not know me.

[penelope]

Penelope , go move and shake your arse elsewhere , you fricken hi-so-so  

Sorry, taken out of context. Point being that some people come to Thailand for the "entertainment". Some people come to do business,make money, already have a family etc... and don't care about being "in touch" with stickman's ramblings.

[OzzieMan]

Penelope you have your opinions but they may just be yours

Was introduced to Stickmans web site before I came to Thailand and found it most informative, and I reccomend it to any friend that is coming to Thailand for the 1st time, and i guess one persons rambling is another persons bible

I mean I would not call my self Penelope after watching the thunderbirds knowing what it stands for, but each to their own I guess

[penelope]

I mean I would not call my self Penelope after watching the thunderbirds knowing what it stands for, but each to their own I guess

Thank goodness that's not the name on my birth certificate, or I'd have to go and watch all the Thunderbird's episodes to get the joke  

[Begs]

I was bored after reading Stickman for the first and only time, the cynical line is  no different to the crap you can hear in any bar, Stickman realised he could make money out of it good luck to him, but its just the same ole crap.

[taxexile]

forget stickman,he writes like a trink clone.

far better is bangkokmouth.com written with humour and style.

example below.

Bernard Tingtong -  He Just Keeps Turning Up For Work  

From the rumour mill and thus unconfirmed - the Bangkok Post is moving offices once more to an area of Bangkok called Jep-ah-dee. I haven't been told anything about this to my face but keep hearing that my new job's in Jep-ah-dee. What's that all about?

There's a word for it - Spondapilia. To nurse the desire to be whacked repeatedly around the head with a wet rolled-up newspaper while taking a piss.

Found a wonderful place for trousers in Pratunaam market - khaki nipple-slappers at 130 baht a pair. You can't go wrong.

To remove disgusting skid-marks from your old y-fronts simply leave them to soak overnight in a solution of two parts bicarbonate of soda and one part malt vinegar. Then rub vigorously with a household candle.

Is it just me, but is the snap, crackle and pop of Rice Krispies just not as loud as it used to be.

A reader has asked me where he can find decent Japanese girls and apart from Tokyo, nowhere else comes to mind - over to you.

The 'No Atmosphere' bar on Pattaya 2 Rd near the construction of the new Melia Hotel, will be showing the women's hockey final between Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. Supporters of both teams might like to know that there will be a pig roast and complimentary hooch.

How do Saudi shoplifters play stone, paper, scissors - just a thought.

Spent a rather wasted Sunday afternoon wandering around the Sanarm Luang in front of the Grand Palace. Whatever happened to the wonderful weekend market they used to have there? oh well - that's progress for you.

FYI (for your information) Dinty Moore beef stew is now 67 baht (down from 69 baht) at all branches of Lion Supermarkets in Hat Yai. Mosey on over why don't you.

Don't get involved with the freelancers who ply their trade in front of Lumpini Park. I don't have a single household hint on how to remove grass stains from the knees of purple flares.

 If you're looking for a place to enjoy some toothsome viands while being chatted up by a Russian prostitute with hairy armpits and bleached hair with the black roots showing, then pull up a stool at Foodland soi 5. You'll be glad you did.

Was recently dragged into the Casanova bar while doing my nightly rounds. I prefer to stand at the bar in that place rather than being manhandled on the sofas. I find the light-fingered katoeys much easier to fend off when I'm erect.

I keep seeing advertisements for the forthcoming David Copperfield show. I won't be going out of my way for that. Dickens was a great writer but Oliver Twist was always my favorite.

McDonalds has now increased the cost of supersizing your fries and Coke from 8 baht to 10 baht. I'm going back to Chester's Grill from now on. You know exactly what you're paying for.

Check out number 33 at the Doll's House if you like your demimondaines well-stacked. Top-heavy dames have never been my cup of tea but I would make an exception for Tippie Hedren in Hitchcock's The Birds.

Colostomy - It's just not my bag!

The word for mother begins with the letter or the sound M in every single language.

2 drug dealing parents are at home in their squalid flat in the Bronx. The 6-month old baby suddenly shouts out 'mother!'. Both parents drop their syringes and rush to the infants side. "Who's a clever boy then - your very first half-word" Keep 'em coming!!!

Don't forget that when you pay your departure tax at the airport, you don't have to use the automated machines. There is a booth nearby that accepts coin of the realm.

I do not appreciate the reader who contacted me to say that the bargain bin at Asia books in Times Square was overflowing with copies of 'But I Don't Give a Hoot"  I've always preferred Bookazine anyway.

Did Chang and Eng, the famous Siamese twins, have a joint bank account? - just curious

 

           

Received a very nice e-mail from a Nigerian gentleman called Unke Mabongo who was interested in me helping him transfer funds from a government bank account in Nigeria to my own account at the Thai Farmer's bank on Petchburi Rd. He also said he was an avid reader of the column. Nice gentleman and I'm always happy to help out.

Can't help but notice that farangs are the worst offenders when trying to pay for 11 items at the 10-items-or-less express checkout.

The only difference between my wife and my job is that my job still sucks.

Would the powers that be please re-introduce the complimentary cold towel on bus journeys from Ekkami Bangkok to the country's favorite resort. Apart from being a welcome refresher, opening the packet passed at least half the journey time.

What's happened to the Nigerian scam letter? I haven't heard about one for ages.

Old mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard to fetch the poor doggy a bone. When she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own.

If you're perusing the internet for websites on Thailand, simply enter the word 'Thailand' into a search engine, and hey presto - you'll have lots of sites at your disposal.

Ping pong balls cut in half make ideal crash helmets for hamsters if they happen to fall off their wheel.

A tip here for all the ex-pat wives.Don't waste money on expensive nail files - simply glue the side of a matchbox to an old lollipop stick.

The 'Vietnam Veterans R Us' bar in Buckskin Joe Village, run by Mad Larry, will be having a party to celebrate Mai the cashier's birthday tomorrow at 9pm. All those with medals are welcome - please bring as proof.

Just a final word to say that Snowy, the resident mutt, at the Old Dutch, corner of Soi Cowboy, passed away peacefully in his sleep. His many canine friends will be saddened to know.

FEEL ME FINGERS - THEY'RE LIKE BLOCKS OF ICE

Bernard Tingtong - The Voice of Senile Dementia

I don't want to mention this more than 4 times a month, but the rainy season is upon us - carry an umbrella at all times - you'll be glad you did.

For those who don't know - 'the quick brown dog jumped over the lazy fox' contains all 24 letters of the English alphabet - any comment would be superfluous.

I've grown quite fond of the plastic bags that Tops supermarket use to put your groceries in. Far more sturdy than the ones used at Foodland. Agreed?

Taking a stroll along Soi Cowboy during my nightly rounds, I noticed that an extra floor of go-go bars has been added. Then I realized that I was in Nana Plaza.

I don't like the idea of Jean-Claude Van Damme playing the part of the Psycho killer cyborg in Death Metal 2000. For me that role will always be synonymous with Audrey Hepburn.

Remove the night market from Patpong! if there were ever a fire break out, the consequences would be too horrible to contemplate.

A reader has asked me to help trace the dwarf who used to lure in passers-by at the Cozy Club in Patpong. Over to you.

A terrible scene occurred at Kiss Me a-go go on Pattaya's Golden Mile last Friday. A farang gentleman refused to pay his barbill and was promptly whisked away to jail by Pattaya's finest. I didn't see it because I was asleep in bed......in Bangkok.

Russian prostitute - Onya Bakyabitch. Keep em coming

The beggars brigade on Sukhumwit Rd is featuring one-eyed men with three legged dogs this month. Make the scene.

Whatever happened to the mamasan who used to work the Grand Prix bar in Patpong, when Suriwongse Rd was nothing but fields? She used to gladden the heart of a man in his sixties. Oh what memories.

Gillette shaving foam has gone up 2 baht in Watson's drugstores, but only for the foam. The gel has remained at the same price. What's that all about?

Beware the light-fingered katoeys hanging around by the pedestrian bridge in front of the Landmark hotel. If you're particularly slow and doddery, they'll remove you're money belt with a blink of an eye.

I accidentally hit my head on the bell in a crowded caravansary - as I've been saying for years - don't ring the bell if you can't afford the round.

Try out the all-day Sunday buffet at the Radisson Hotel for 1599 baht ++ Does anyone know if there's a non air-con bus that passes the door?

Sad to hear of the death of 'Washington Square Willy' only last week. His young wife and her Thai husband may wish to know that funeral rites will be held at the Silver Dollar cocktail lounge.

There's a word for it - Glasinoctogen - a person who can live in a place for 30 years and not know his arse from his elbow.

Plans are underway once more to build a Bangkok skytrain which will connect Sukhumwit and Silom Rd. I'll believe it when I see it.

My E-mail address once more - [email protected]

You can't beat those old latex, washable condoms which were standard US army issue way back when. And at least when you danced with a woman in those days - she was in your arms.                

A reader has contacted me to ask where the best place is to buy Rolex watches. FYI (for your information) there is a Rolex shop on the first floor of the Emporium, next to Louis Vuitton handbags.

Two old men sitting on a park bench. One says "nice out isn't it"  The other one says "yes, but put it away, there's someone coming"

It's in the Groucho letters by Harpo Marx - I would love to belong to a club that wouldn't have me as a member. Something like that anyway.

Is it just me but are the Thai teenagers acting younger than the people in their 20's these days?

Who do Bangkok Phil and that bloody Stickman think they are. If I knew how to turn on a computer and send e-mail, I'd give them both a piece of my mind.

Seen on a garage repair shop door - the man who lends out the tools has gone on holiday - and the bloke who gives credit has gone with him.

If you are going to send me fax messages, please make sure that they are decipherable. Only the other day I received one that said " whe? are you ?oing to re?ire and sto? writin? all this cr?p you f??king id?ot. Now if only I knew what it all meant.

Will farang tourists stop bringing me tins of malted milk from the states. I've got a cupboard full of the stuff - what the #### am I gonna do with it? (I don't wish to sound ungrateful)

JFTR (just for the record) Sporty Spice is my favorite Spice Girl. Nuff said.

I've been searching high and low for a contraption on which to play my old 78's. If anyone knows where I might get such a thing - TUSW (Tip us the wink)

I NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET

[markt]

Thanks for posting that, Tax.

Good laugh. Agreed?  

I'll mosey on over to that Bkkmouth.com, methinks.

TTFN    (Ta ta for now)

[Axel]

Yes taxexile, quite amusing and tks for putting in here.

My feeling anyway that BT lost not only his pipe when he took the picture out of his column.

[Sunbelt Asia]

Trinks last Nite Owl column for the Bangkok Post will be December 26th 2003.

[stumonster]

But he does not give a hoot?

[bilbo1au]

Taxexile:

Thanks for the lovely piece on Bangkokphil. Have been reading his stuff for ages and he can be a very funny writer as shown by your offerings. Trouble is that Phil seems to have been too busy to post lately.

Thoroughly enjoy Stickman and Bangkokbob also. Remember old Trink started all this and he was okay years ago, but the Bkk Post have been killing him for a long time. The real trouble with Trink is that he thinks he can write ... he struggles!!

For the funniest read on Bangkokphil, read the 'James" piece on his visit to a restaurant and the rat that appeared. Guanteed tears of laughter!