Ex Thai Girlfriend Wants To Get Back Together

[inthailandsoon]

My ex thai girlfriend has decided to get back together with me but has already applied for a UK fiancee visa with someone else....

We have been apart for about nine months after five year relationship (well documented my about twenty identical visa stamps from visits to various countries incl UK) and have decided that in the end we can not live without each other.

But she has been in a three month relationship with another Brit who wanted to take her to the UK and only decided to finish with him after they applied for fiancee visa to UK.

So that visa has to be cancelled either before or after it has been issued, at the same time telling the embassy that the reason is we decied to get back together (to help in future visa application).

The question then becomes how long we have to live together in Bangkok before applying for a marriage visa, I will be staying in Thailand all the time and we will visit some nearby countries to get those nice visa stamps to help in the future application - I am guessing that a minimum of six months would be necessary unless a case can be made for the length of our previous relationship.

[Thongkorn]

You do not have to wait to get married you can do it in two days , Go to the British Embassy apply for an affirmation to marry , collect next day get married,

[londonthai]

don't worry at all about visa - worry rather how genuine your girlfriend is.

you didn't see her for 9 months, don't know what's were happening with her and you don't know the reason, why she split with her boyfriend (and certainly it wasn't you). Maybe simply she hadn't got a chance for the visa and decided to cancel it or he dumped her for whatever reason. Maybe it will be wise to talk to this guy and know the full story.

you don't have to travel abroad together with your girlfriend to get foreign visas, the best is just to marry in thailand.

myself I wouldn't go back to a girlfriend which dumped you for another man. I was as well in a relationship for 5 years and my former girlfriend called me to make up after she married some banker and already came to the UK - you really don't know their motives and thinking.

cut all connections and move forward

[7by7]

Whether to trust this woman and her motives is a choice for you to make: you've known her for 5 years, we don't know her at all.

As for the visa, if she no longer intends to travel to the UK to marry this other man then she should immediately contact the UKVAC or embassy and withdraw her application. If it's already been issued then he will be named on the visa, so she cannot use it to travel to the UK and marry you.

You have known this woman for 5 years, which is plenty long enough to show a relationship so there is technically no reason why she cannot apply once you are married. However, you or she will need to explain in her application why she made a fiance visa application sponsored by another man.

[Sisaketmike]

You do not have to wait to get married you can do it in two days , Go to the British Embassy apply for an affirmation to marry , collect next day get married,

‘She decided”. That’s really all about it. Because you’ve got nothing to decide, right?

[dmax]

i would think long and hard about what angle your girlfriend is coming from

[spud1]

I think 'ex' is the defining word in your post!

[torrenova]

As I understand, what 7by7 has said is correct and the first thing is to withdraw the application or cancel the current visa. What the immediate implications are I find hard to judge but you would be well served to see if she has a copy of the visa application and any supporting evidence. Presumably this will he held on file and perhaps referred to should she make another visa application based on a relationship with you. Your having those documents will assist in overcoming any questions asked later.

From a bystander's perspective, I would have to counsel you against any rash decisions. You were with this girl for 5 years and for whatever reason you never married and split up. After you were apart for six months she started a relationship with another man from the UK. Within three months of meeting this second man she has agreed to marry him and they have made a fiancée visa application for her to travel to the UK for the purpose of marriage and her settlement in the UK.

We do not know what line of work your ex girlfriend engages in but I see that as pertinent if she is or was engaged in the "entertainment" industry. In addition, I have experience of knowing Thai girls who have come up with "it was my time" and "him not bad man" excuses for marrying as a convenience. Five years spent with you must put her in her mid to late 20s at least I would suspect and it may well be that she has latched onto the first non totally repulsive man who could provide her with a visa to the west. She may well be of the mindset that she is getting on in years and may not get another opportunity so easily. There is good and bad in whichever answers are correct.

At best, she rebounded into a relationship which mirrored your relationship in that there was a western man and a future ticket out of Thailand. She would be unlikely to want to wait another five years and find herself single again some time into her 30s. At worst, she just wants the visa for the UK and potentially a UK passport and she is willing to set up home with anyone who can provide her with that. You have to think very carefully. I would suggest that you wait at least another six month, preferably a year before marrying. If she puts undue pressure on a move to the UK, then I would seriously question her true motives.

From an immigration point of view, I would seriously consider denying her a visa on the basis that she appears desperate to obtain entry and settlement to the UK. A patched up relationship of only a couple of weeks or months duration after disposing of her previous sponsor would not engender me to seriously consider her to be totally honest and truthful. I would also have the benefit of the fiancée visa application, now withdrawn.

My advice, if you are able to wait and she shows no sign of desperation and you believe her to be honest and she can furnish you with an acceptable and believable explanation of why she did what she did with her proposed fiancé and husband, then you could cover this period of time with a simple explanation of a couple who separated and relatively swiftly realised that they really did want to be together. her previous visa application with the other man can be swept under the carpet so to speak as her being on the rebound and her proposed husband wanting to move things along far too swiftly, she deflecting blame to him from her.

Whether she would be granted a visa now or not under your sponsorship is not the major consideration. In my opinion, she has acted in a manner which requires some time to get over and reaffirm your commitment to each other and not just her commitment to obtaining an exit route from Thailand or a husband due to her desperation for passing youth.

[neverdie]

RUN forrest RUN!

I use to work with a very wise man, he once said to me, "Young neverdie, when you want to get somewhere, you don't walk backwards, do you?"

[torrenova]

RUN forrest RUN!

I use to work with a very wise man, he once said to me, "Young neverdie, when you want to get somewhere, you don't walk backwards, do you?"

That is my gut feeling but I also know the immense power of regret and how it can eat you up. It can be a long time looking back and wondering "what if ?" and whilst I advise a cooling off period, I cannot advise totally against keeping the "get back together"option on the table. It is obvious the OP has not moved on, he has to either go back or move forward. At the moment, he is emotionally standing still.