Men That Get Swindled By Thai Women

[a2396]

Well said. Precisely so. The age of the woman is no guarantee they don't want money. Some of the older ones are in more dire straights for money than the younger ones and their expectations may be higher. I am afraid the OP has made some erroneous assumptions.

Your not making sense. Would it not be easier for an older Thai girl to find a decent farang guy that they like and can provide for them for the rest of their lives ? The older girls have less and less leverage so they are more likley to give a relationship an honest effort.

Makes sense by my experience here. Time after time, I have seen 30-35 + women who have a much more specific agenda and requirements concerning a relationship and they do not mince around with a man who is not serious about marriage. This is providing they are of reasonable attractiveness, etc, etc. I so not mean desperate country girls, who look like they have never left the rice field. For this reason, I prefer under 30 for relationships. Although they have their won set of problems, I find they much more flexible, adaptable and open minded than the over 35 crowd. Maybe the difference is that I am not looking for a wife.

[sokal]

Well said. Precisely so. The age of the woman is no guarantee they don't want money. Some of the older ones are in more dire straights for money than the younger ones and their expectations may be higher. I am afraid the OP has made some erroneous assumptions.

Your not making sense. Would it not be easier for an older Thai girl to find a decent farang guy that they like and can provide for them for the rest of their lives ? The older girls have less and less leverage so they are more likley to give a relationship an honest effort.

Makes sense by my experience here. Time after time, I have seen 30-35 + women who have a much more specific agenda and requirements concerning a relationship and they do not mince around with a man who is not serious about marriage. This is providing they are of reasonable attractiveness, etc, etc. I so not mean desperate country girls, who look like they have never left the rice field. For this reason, I prefer under 30 for relationships. Although they have their won set of problems, I find they much more flexible, adaptable and open minded than the over 35 crowd. Maybe the difference is that I am not looking for a wife.

I have seen 30-35 + women who have a much more specific agenda and requirements concerning a relationship

Thats my point, these girls are not just trying to swindle men

[sokal]

It is hard to swindle the honest man who truly knows he is not that handsome and anybody who states he is might be up to something other than love.

What if the guy knows he IS hansom ? do those guys need to pay attention to the warnings written by old naive men ?

[cognos]

It is hard to swindle the honest man who truly knows he is not that handsome and anybody who states he is might be up to something other than love.

What if the guy knows he IS hansom ? do those guys need to pay attention to the warnings written by old naive men ?

..and the young handsome men who wrote this post "knows" he is handsome, and will eventually evolve into a handsome older man, so what??.. the young man thinks he "knows better" than the " old naive men " ( and in many cases he may be correct), but the subtle ulterior motive for his bitterness remains unknown, until he decides to come clean as to the real issue surrounding the post. I can understand, as it is hard to put into words.

For me, my bitterness and ulterior motive was to "chastise " those who quickly and "naively" married Thai women, often bg's, brought them to farangland, the marriage fell apart ( multiply this by thousands ), the governments get wind of it, and as a result "legitimate" and proper relationships are tarred with the same brush, in other words, we ALL have to wait a LONG time for a visa for our Thai gf/ wife to visit or move to farang land, because of all the afore mentioned failed relationships.

signed: not a mind reader

[cognos]

".. because of all the afore mentioned failed relationships.."

actually, to be more precise, LOS does not want to lose citizens, its the west that gets paranoid about letting Thai women in, as they see too many problems with these" quickie " marriages and equally quick divorces, although many relationships are sound and long lasting

[gvallee2]

i think this is false, most bad thai girls will try to find a old guy. Because old guys are dumb enough to father a child when they have 5 years left to live. So the woman gets. All the money, a beautiful baby and the next farang who is going to be a little younger, will adopt the kid and raise the girl and her baby himself.

It's a great cycle for them.

cant remember how many times i have told my gf about some old guy weighting 35kg and dragging himself on a handicap stroller while his 30yo wife is pushing the baby in the real stroller. No idea why it's funny.. it just is.

One of them signed up at my gym last week yet he cant even pee by himself.. wonder how he's gonna teach his kid how to ride his bike

[473geo]

The reason it happens............

Because in Thailand a man can build a house in the sun in a peaceful area....with relaxed neighbours......

If he wishes........in 6 months........no mortgage for 25 years......just a reasonable lump sum

He sees chance of a life he would enjoy.........

A lovely young woman to facilitate.......is a bonus.......

He has no chance of affording anything like this in his own country.....way too expensive.......

So he tries to live the dream........

For some it works......many will not realise that dream....but have fun trying.......

Others have regrets............

But if you never tried???.............you failed!!!

[johndpoole]

One thing missing from the original post is that many women of all cultures want a man who is successful and can take care of them financially.

I think a good chunk of men who claim to have been taken were really not at all. Even in the states men say the same thing after a divorce or bad break-up. What is funny is that the laws are still (and were) generally written by men in the states and that a divorce is handled in the courts with an experienced 3rd party over seeing the fairness but almost all men will tell you they got taken to the cleaners after a divorce.

No doubt there are good cons everywhere but if a man is truly conned by a thai women then in most cases he only has himself to blame. I mean there is more negative talk and warning about Thai women to farangs than there are about Nigerian email scams. Did these guys fall for those too and really think when they sent their money to this Nigerian via wire it would be different?

Come to think of it, I cannot actually recall of the top of my head one man who was really scammed by a women. So, what if they left her here for months and sent her money every month only to found out she had another boyfriend ... did this guy scam her because he has a wife or GF back home? Most of them leave this part out. Obviously the women was doing something great for this guy if he was sending money or was he just trying to rid himself or guilt for something and down deep wanted to be a victim??

Question in your mind everything you hear about a relationship when you are only hearing one side.

I would guess in 99% of cases of men getting scammed -- they wanted to be scammed down deep or were not scammed at all and simply were in a relationship that did not work out.

Maybe Thai girls are just smart and use better common sense in terms of not instantly trusting a man who goes to bars to pay for sex with them.... must be a problem inside their head to think this guy is going to be faithful and that she should be too. Actually a pretty big hill to climb for a guy to get out of the rut of not seeming like a loser to this girl if he is paying for sex.

By the way ... I am not sure I have ever heard a story of a man claiming to be scammed by a Thai girl he didn't meet in a bar or had a real job. Pretty much the odds you would find in most countries under the same circumstances. Actually maybe I did hear of folks getting burned in business deals but again under the same circumstances you hear about in any country ... not getting a receipt when paying cash, too good to be true, trying to get rich of a shady deal ..... I just wonder why when it is a man who scammed them that all men are not money grubbing scam artists ... well we know the ladyboys are.

[salty]

Of course it is ridiculous a sexy 25y/o is interested in a 50+ man. But think of the fun you can have while finding out.

[sokal]

".. because of all the afore mentioned failed relationships.."

actually, to be more precise, LOS does not want to lose citizens, its the west that gets paranoid about letting Thai women in, as they see too many problems with these" quickie " marriages and equally quick divorces, although many relationships are sound and long lasting

I bet the age gaps is what they are really paranoid about.

[rayong09]

If you were 50?????? 20 year old, tell her to buzz off??????????

Are you gay?

He sounds pretty sensible to me.

[IanForbes]

I agree with johdpoole 100%

Nothing is a swindle if both participants agree with the deal. Buying a woman a big home in Thailand, with no way of retaining at least half of it, is idiocy. If you are an idiot then that is nobody elses fault but your own. It's not a lot different than taking on a woman and her children from a previous marriage in North America without a nuptual agreement. Even a nuptual agreement is not a guarantee that it won't cost you a LOT of money when she decides to split for greener pastures. A man doesn't even have to have done anything wrong, but the lawyers will certainly make sure he comes away much poorer.

Edited January 8, 2010 by IanForbes

[MrHammer]

IanForbes is a voice of reason. Older guys in Thailand, take notice!

[stickyrice]

By the way ... I am not sure I have ever heard a story of a man claiming to be scammed by a Thai girl he didn't meet in a bar or had a real job. Pretty much the odds you would find in most countries under the same circumstances.

I also agree 95% with Ian Forbes. I only wish to add, the one place that is common for guys to get scammed outside the bar is the internet. By far most girls looking for a husband on the internet are serious girls, but for sure, a girls who are attractive can get quite a few guys sending them money telling them each that they are one "one."

One girl I met (not in a bar, just by mutual aquaintence) was not particularly young (maybe 28) and merely moderately attractive. But she was working at least 7 gentlemen the same time by instant messaging (having met them by dating service) and had 2 visiting her in Thailand at the same time.

[RockyBalb0a]

These old guys with their much younger wives/girlfriends are kidding themselves if they think it's not about the money.

[473geo]

These old guys with their much younger wives/girlfriends are kidding themselves if they think it's not about the money.

And if they are not worried about money.......they will be too busy enjoying themselves to worry about anything else!!!!....

[Roadman]

The Original Post question - "If your an older guy, why not go for a decent looking 35 to 40 year old Thai girl ? "

Tongue in cheek why not the 22 year old honey? You can treat the relationship (not a marriage) with the same level of committment that the 'girl' (suble change as it goes on in the rest of the east and the west as well) wishs to..ie. - something better will come along one day...surely. You may have to prepare for years later when you find she is still there

The answer is because Thai Visa do not have a geno type for this "35 to 40 year old Thai girl". Are you mad suggesting such a thing. All thai girls fit into two catergories...Chinese thai veeery veery hai soo and "huh" so you married a bargirl

Seriously I cannot understand why guys cannot do out a plan off the internet (no not where are the best go go bars all over Thailand), a budget to that plan to use their annual leave each year for several years to spend that time in Thailand getting out into the back sticks and hunting down the supposed geno type you are proposing, the same way as they would do at home. It needs bugga all funds to spend time in reasonable conditions each year to get to know the place and people and start building bases. Then you start getting introductions.

If you after a partner then apply the three golden rules

1) Take your time

2) Think with the bigger brain in the top head.

3) Do not commit financially into Thailand any more than you can afford to lose

On the side track of falangs getting ripped off I think it possibly could equal out? There are a percentage of falangs who felt they have been cheated, and in some cases they have been played for everything going... but these is also a large chunk who just disengage the top brain when they float into the Land of Smiles, and they equally squeal a bit in all media when they have been ripped...a few making a lot of noise and the scene they were played in is the bright lights and dark alleys of the tourist centres ..same same scene Bangkok, Amstredam, Sydnee, and any little town nowhere where ever a red light can be shined, even their own tiny home time.

There are also a large chunk of thai girls who are ripped off by promises that are never delivered from "veeerrry handsome falaang" when he is on 'his' holiday. They don't have an understanding of, or the rescources to squeal to the world.

I trust in Buddha that he has the Karma balanced for that call.

Edited January 8, 2010 by Roadman

[richieudon]

I kind of agree

I had many young Thai girlfriends but usually sniffed them out after a few weeks

Then I met one my own age and am now married with a kid and very happy.

I think Thai women as a whole are very loyal to their men but you can't blame a poor beautiful 18 year old girl for taking advantage of an old man. It's just the way it is. They will take your money. More often than not it's to help their families.

I would say most of these failed relationships are between men who are much older than their partners, not all, but most.

Money is the most important thing in most Thai peoples lives. In fact it's pretty much the whole of Asia and the world to some extent.

[upinthesky]

Reality:

Thai girls want money so she get into a fake relationship with a (expect to be rich) farang guy.

Farang want sex so he gave all his saving to a Thai girl so to expect her to join him in bed.

In the end, the girl got the money and run. The farang guy gets nothing. This is what happened to my dear mate.

Edited January 9, 2010 by upinthesky

[LuckyLew]

A fool and his money are easily parted

If a 20 Thai lady is with an elderly farang it is for one or more of a few reason.

1- Security

2- Money

3- Money and Security

4- Thai men treat women like crap

If you try convince yourself otherwise, you are the fool I mentioned above

If you are OK with the Thai girl being with you for these reasons then go ahead

but do not cry when you are broke and she is gone

[johndpoole]

I can almost guarantee that the percentage of dishonest (will scam you) prostitutes in Thailand is FAR FAR less than any Western Country.

I would also guess the number of non-prostitutes that are working scams if far less too. There are scams everywhere and committed mostly by men all over the world. However the scams may vary depending on the country's wealth, modernization and culture. Just think about all the BS infomercials you see on TV in the US or think of the number of crimes (violent too) )in any city with even a fraction of the population as a city like BKK. Thais are generally much more respectful of people ... look at driving enforcement (lack of) and lack of stop signs, merge lanes, traffic lights and number of cars and motorcycles. What would be the results?

The vast majority of these old men claiming to be ripped off were not. They were paying for a service for a prolonged period of time and the lady simply moved on. Though girls in the west will often steal money out of a BF's wallet or even bank ... I don't here many folks saying this is how they got scammed here ... it is almost always them turning over money voluntarily without any kind of verbal or written contract of what they expect in return.

These old farts would never do this in their own country with a GF of their own age but then come to another country and do it with some prostitute 20 years younger and cry foul when the girl doesn't stay in love with them.

[cognos]

".. because of all the afore mentioned failed relationships.."

actually, to be more precise, LOS does not want to lose citizens, its the west that gets paranoid about letting Thai women in, as they see too many problems with these" quickie " marriages and equally quick divorces, although many relationships are sound and long lasting

I bet the age gaps is what they are really paranoid about.

true as well..and when do the red flags go off?? In my case the wife is 15 years younger,( I look younger than my age, but then so does she) and there were no problems getting the spousal visa, but I suppose the alarm bells go off exponentially at some point as the age gaps widen

[cognos]

btw, I sent my then gf a bank card with the same pin number as mine ( the bank manager knew, although technically its not allowed, there are always loopholes), and she did NOT take me to the cleaners over an 18 month period prior to marriage. She took out between 5 and 10 thousand baht monthly when I was in farangland working, and when I visited her in LOS she didn't take anything out, because I was paying, duhh

signed; so much for stereotypes

[DegenFarang]

I can almost guarantee that the percentage of dishonest (will scam you) prostitutes in Thailand is FAR FAR less than any Western Country.

I would also guess the number of non-prostitutes that are working scams if far less too. There are scams everywhere and committed mostly by men all over the world. However the scams may vary depending on the country's wealth, modernization and culture. Just think about all the BS infomercials you see on TV in the US or think of the number of crimes (violent too) )in any city with even a fraction of the population as a city like BKK. Thais are generally much more respectful of people ... look at driving enforcement (lack of) and lack of stop signs, merge lanes, traffic lights and number of cars and motorcycles. What would be the results?

The vast majority of these old men claiming to be ripped off were not. They were paying for a service for a prolonged period of time and the lady simply moved on. Though girls in the west will often steal money out of a BF's wallet or even bank ... I don't here many folks saying this is how they got scammed here ... it is almost always them turning over money voluntarily without any kind of verbal or written contract of what they expect in return.

These old farts would never do this in their own country with a GF of their own age but then come to another country and do it with some prostitute 20 years younger and cry foul when the girl doesn't stay in love with them.

It all depends how you define scam or swindle.

Lets take a fictional example that is pretty common and you tell me if this woman swindled this guy:

Tom is on holiday from Canada for three weeks, his first trip to Thailand. He meets Lek at a nightclub and the two hit it off. She tells him she is single, went to University, works at an office for her sister and thinks he is very handsome. She tells him she will take off work to travel to the islands with him on his vacation, during which time she uses her charms to make him fall madly in love with her. When he is about to go back home she invents some hardship story for him to send 10,000 baht a month to her while he is away, until he can come back and the two of them can be together.

Lek of course never went to University, did not find him handsome, does not work with her sister and is in fact a freelance prostitute with a Thai husband and several other farang sponsors, just like Tom, who she emails and MSN's with constantly, telling them all how much she misses and loves them. She also has several Thai and expat kik's who know the real story about her but have sex with her anyway - some pay her, some don't - depends how good looking and charming they are.

So did Lek swindle Tom? Is she swindling the other foreigners who don't know the real Lek?

What if she takes it a step further and actually marry's Tom, after convincing him to pay a 1,000,000 baht sin sod to her family and build them a house. Never breaking of contact with any of the other men in her life and constantly making up stories about having to visit relatives or go to temple over the weekend - so she can visit her other sponsors when they come to town.

Is that a swindle or a scam? I say it is. It isn't a clear cut as the hookers in Vegas who will grab all of your belongings when you are in the shower and make a run for it - but it's still a swindle in my book.

Edited January 9, 2010 by DegenFarang

[sokal]

The reason it happens............

Because in Thailand a man can build a house in the sun in a peaceful area....with relaxed neighbours......

If he wishes........in 6 months........no mortgage for 25 years......just a reasonable lump sum

He sees chance of a life he would enjoy.........

A lovely young woman to facilitate.......is a bonus.......

He has no chance of affording anything like this in his own country.....way too expensive.......

So he tries to live the dream........

For some it works......many will not realise that dream....but have fun trying.......

Others have regrets............

But if you never tried???.............you failed!!!

Thats all great, just don't go bit*hing and warning about Thai women after you get burned. Most of these naive men don't look at it that way. I wonder how these guys feel when they see their lady eyeing up a group of young men walking by.

[jetjock]

Call it a swindle or scam or whatever but there seems to be a never ending supply of seemingly normal intelligent men that really get taken for a ride by some of the black hearted Thai women that are so abundantly available in the farang tourist areas of Thailand. I chalk much of it up to a "lost souls searching for love" type of naivete brought about by them being overwhelmed by finding themself living in a candy shop of easily available young pretty Thai girls.

It is interesting that when these guys (who should have known better) get taken to the cleaners or get their heart broken, many of them begin to stereotype poorly all Thai women just because they were so stupidly naive in their choice of women. I don't think it has much to do with age since naivete has no age limits. The reality is that Thailand has more than it's fair share of genuine, loyal, financially secure, honest, intelligent beautiful women but the key is that you have to be smart enough to figure out how to meet them and hopefully smart enough to realize that they are looking for a man with many of the same similar qualities that they see in themselves. I get the feeling from some of the posts that many of the younger guys have the mistaken idea that youth, immaturity, inexperience and financial instability are qualities that are somehow much more attractive to women than any of the qualities that older or more mature men have to offer. Just an opinion, but I have not found that to be true in either Thailand or the western world as most really genuine intelligent women look for qualities that are go much deeper.

[sokal]

Call it a swindle or scam or whatever but there seems to be a never ending supply of seemingly normal intelligent men that really get taken for a ride by some of the black hearted Thai women that are so abundantly available in the farang tourist areas of Thailand. I chalk much of it up to a "lost souls searching for love" type of naivete brought about by them being overwhelmed by finding themself living in a candy shop of easily available young pretty Thai girls.

It is interesting that when these guys (who should have known better) get taken to the cleaners or get their heart broken, many of them begin to stereotype poorly all Thai women just because they were so stupidly naive in their choice of women. I don't think it has much to do with age since naivete has no age limits. The reality is that Thailand has more than it's fair share of genuine, loyal, financially secure, honest, intelligent beautiful women but the key is that you have to be smart enough to figure out how to meet them and hopefully smart enough to realize that they are looking for a man with many of the same similar qualities that they see in themselves. I get the feeling from some of the posts that many of the younger guys have the mistaken idea that youth, immaturity, inexperience and financial instability are qualities that are somehow much more attractive to women than any of the qualities that older or more mature men have to offer. Just an opinion, but I have not found that to be true in either Thailand or the western world as most really genuine intelligent women look for qualities that are go much deeper.

This is a different subject you are getting into...

As if these young girls are sooo mature, most girls under 25 I meet are quite intellectually depleted, that is why I don't buy that argument.

[473geo]

Thats all great, just don't go bit*hing and warning about Thai women after you get burned. Most of these naive men don't look at it that way. I wonder how these guys feel when they see their lady eyeing up a group of young men walking by.

What purpose does bitching serve.....except in the first person........you take a hit, get up,resume play, a little harder if you must.

There are people in this world, that have, and will, experience personal suffering way beyond losing a few Dollars in Thailand..........know many of them do you?.............no..........well perhaps they just make the best of it and move on......as I am sure many of the less vociferous members of this forum have already done.......and some of the more vociferous ones too!!!

You sit around and pontificate........

I will remain of the opinion that while men continue to wash ashore on the beautiful beaches of Thailand.....they will continue to be blown away by the beauty and charm of the people and opportunities that greet them......

[a2396]

I can almost guarantee that the percentage of dishonest (will scam you) prostitutes in Thailand is FAR FAR less than any Western Country.

I would also guess the number of non-prostitutes that are working scams if far less too. There are scams everywhere and committed mostly by men all over the world. However the scams may vary depending on the country's wealth, modernization and culture. Just think about all the BS infomercials you see on TV in the US or think of the number of crimes (violent too) )in any city with even a fraction of the population as a city like BKK. Thais are generally much more respectful of people ... look at driving enforcement (lack of) and lack of stop signs, merge lanes, traffic lights and number of cars and motorcycles. What would be the results?

The vast majority of these old men claiming to be ripped off were not. They were paying for a service for a prolonged period of time and the lady simply moved on. Though girls in the west will often steal money out of a BF's wallet or even bank ... I don't here many folks saying this is how they got scammed here ... it is almost always them turning over money voluntarily without any kind of verbal or written contract of what they expect in return.

These old farts would never do this in their own country with a GF of their own age but then come to another country and do it with some prostitute 20 years younger and cry foul when the girl doesn't stay in love with them.

It all depends how you define scam or swindle.

Lets take a fictional example that is pretty common and you tell me if this woman swindled this guy:

Tom is on holiday from Canada for three weeks, his first trip to Thailand. He meets Lek at a nightclub and the two hit it off. She tells him she is single, went to University, works at an office for her sister and thinks he is very handsome. She tells him she will take off work to travel to the islands with him on his vacation, during which time she uses her charms to make him fall madly in love with her. When he is about to go back home she invents some hardship story for him to send 10,000 baht a month to her while he is away, until he can come back and the two of them can be together.

Lek of course never went to University, did not find him handsome, does not work with her sister and is in fact a freelance prostitute with a Thai husband and several other farang sponsors, just like Tom, who she emails and MSN's with constantly, telling them all how much she misses and loves them. She also has several Thai and expat kik's who know the real story about her but have sex with her anyway - some pay her, some don't - depends how good looking and charming they are.

So did Lek swindle Tom? Is she swindling the other foreigners who don't know the real Lek?

What if she takes it a step further and actually marry's Tom, after convincing him to pay a 1,000,000 baht sin sod to her family and build them a house. Never breaking of contact with any of the other men in her life and constantly making up stories about having to visit relatives or go to temple over the weekend - so she can visit her other sponsors when they come to town.

Is that a swindle or a scam? I say it is. It isn't a clear cut as the hookers in Vegas who will grab all of your belongings when you are in the shower and make a run for it - but it's still a swindle in my book.

Exactly and FOR SURE. Sounds like quite a few I have known. One of my current "acquaintances" meets this description very closely.

[a2396]

Call it a swindle or scam or whatever but there seems to be a never ending supply of seemingly normal intelligent men that really get taken for a ride by some of the black hearted Thai women that are so abundantly available in the farang tourist areas of Thailand. I chalk much of it up to a "lost souls searching for love" type of naivete brought about by them being overwhelmed by finding themself living in a candy shop of easily available young pretty Thai girls.

It is interesting that when these guys (who should have known better) get taken to the cleaners or get their heart broken, many of them begin to stereotype poorly all Thai women just because they were so stupidly naive in their choice of women. I don't think it has much to do with age since naivete has no age limits. The reality is that Thailand has more than it's fair share of genuine, loyal, financially secure, honest, intelligent beautiful women but the key is that you have to be smart enough to figure out how to meet them and hopefully smart enough to realize that they are looking for a man with many of the same similar qualities that they see in themselves. I get the feeling from some of the posts that many of the younger guys have the mistaken idea that youth, immaturity, inexperience and financial instability are qualities that are somehow much more attractive to women than any of the qualities that older or more mature men have to offer. Just an opinion, but I have not found that to be true in either Thailand or the western world as most really genuine intelligent women look for qualities that are go much deeper.

To find "really genuine intelligent women" here (who might be interested in a foreign man) and have an interest in more than money as a first priority, is like looking for a needle in a haystack.