Need Advice Regarding Custody Of My Daughter

[anon345535]

well to make up for a "not too bad" couple of days she didn't come home till 11.30 this morning. she told me she was looking at apartments. i will be amazed if i can keep this charade up for too much longer. my finances have finally cleared in the UK so if anyone can recommend a decent lawyer in BKK so i can start this legitimization ball rolling that would be great. it makes me feel sick the way she's acting at the moment, she even had the cheek to say her family think she's a good mother. they probably do cos they are a bunch of stupid, selfish idiots as well. yeah, on a very regular basis, going to sleep in the middle of the afternoon when you have a 12 month old daughter is what most good mothers do. sneaking out the back door, leaving your phone at home and disappearing to your sisters house with the car for 5-6 hours, leaving your daughter and "bf" at home without any knowledge of how long you will be and leaving them in the sh!t if any kind of accident occurred is also normal behaviour for any good mother. i think when i have got all the necessary stuff sorted out i will just disappear back to the UK. the way she's behaving at the moment i wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even notice her daughter wasn't there.

Edited January 17, 2010 by c411um

[Mario2008]

A good lawyer, specialized in family law, is Isaanlawyers. Not in BKK though.

Remember you don't have parental rights now and it is a separate step from legitimization of the child.

Doing a run with your daughter would not solve any problems. You will still face a battle over the custody of the child. Also you will have to find away to keep the child in contact with the mother. It will be very important for her to know her mother and not let the mother become a total stranger.

[anon345535]

yes i am aware of that mario, i know running away is not the best thing to do and as much as i despise the mother i am sure my daughter loves her an equal amount. i was just letting off some steam.

she came back today at 6.30am stinking of alcohol and looking like sh!t. it makes me sick to know she has been rolling around with strange men then comes home and kisses our daughter with the same mouth that has been... well you can only imagine.

legitimization is the first step which i understand could take 3 months to achieve. the mother wants to move out into a 7k a month "apartment".

my daughter's school hours are 8.30-3.30 although i am fairly relaxed on those times as she is not even 3 years old yet and 7 hour days 5 days a week is too much imo for a child of her age. the next week or so i think is going to be really interesting/stressful for me to see what elaborate plans she comes up with, no doubt it will be one that completely benefits her with my daughter and myself being the losers. i fail to see how she can go to "work" from 9-6/11 return home drunk and provide care for our daughter. i also fail to see how any judge from anywhere in the world would think it would be in the best interests of my daughter to stay with a mother that is a selfish, drunken prostitute.

anyway, one step at a time, life goes on etc.... :/

thx

Edited January 18, 2010 by c411um

[Mario2008]

Just keep your head cool and get a lawyer ASAP to start the ball rolling. Once the paperwork is done, you stand a good chance of getting sole custody over the child. In the meantime just continue to collect evidence that she is unfit and make an excellent father yourself with evidence and try to have the mother cooperate, that will save a lot in time, money and stress.

[MikeyIdea]

c411um, this has escalated faster than what is good I think. I remember my own daughter when she was 3 years old. Children that age change who they are attached to so easily. Give them lots of attention all the time (like the family can do) and you will probably experience that the child will start to cry when you fetch her from them in a surprisingly short time.

My advice: It is going to get much more difficult if the mother takes the child away. It doesn't matter if it is to stay with the mother or if she lets her family do the job. It is nightmare for you. Try to stand being nice enough to the mother to make her stay until you have legitimized the child, or DEMAND that the child stays with you. The mother knows that she can't take care of the child without her family to help her. Make sure the mother understands that you are the father and that you Do Not Allow The Child To Live With Her Family, Full Stop. Threaten with the police and courts if you have to (it doesn't matter that you legally can't do anything yet, the mother and her family doesn't know that. Most Thai's think that the children belong to the father even).

Do Not Let The Child Go With The Mother To Stay Somewhere Else!

2 more things;

Ensure the mother that the child is perfectly safe with you and that you can do everything she does. Do everything yourself, you wash her hair too, you take her to school and fetch her in the afternoon. She's a mother after all, if she doesn't feel that, then she won't let go, give her that and it's much easier for her to accept (that child is not going to be with her all the time, money, whatever…) You wrote that the mother had been up and taking the child to school a few times recently, that sounds like bad news to me.

Play as much as you can with the child, make her laugh until she gets a tummy ache, so that she wants to stay with Daddy. That is one thing that helped me a lot when mummy and daddy had problems. My daughter was more attached to Daddy than Mummy so mummy always felt that disadvantage – Idea used to cry for her daddy but she never cried for mummy. We're still together because of that I suppose… It makes it very difficult for mummy to take the child away and also easy for her to let the child stay. It will only take two weeks of lot's of playing and laughing between the two of you to achieve this.

At the end of the day, it may be the child who decides who she will stay with. And she should be able to meet her mother sometimes regardless of what happens

I agree with Mario2008, stay calm, get a lawyer and start the process this week. I can't believe it, I am recommending a forum sponsor, contact Isaanlawyers, if the aren't able to do it themselves, then they will recommend. Gather evidence!

Good Luck (and stay calm!)

Michael

Edited January 18, 2010 by MikeyIdea

[anon345535]

its funny you should say that mikey. after picking her up from school (i have picked her up and taken her to school 90% of the time in the last 3 weeks) and returning home she went to see her mum (half asleep on the sofa) and came straight back to me wanting me to pick her up and take her to the park.

i always spent alot of time with her but now even more so, i do everything in the morning; breakfast, shower, clean teeth, wash hair, comb hair, clean ears, cut nails, play outside, get dressed, take to school and video it! after we got home today i took her out on her bike and played in the park for an hour then fed the fish in the lake for half an hour. her mum (used to) take her out quite a lot but i wouldn't describe sitting on your arse talking to friends/family as actively having fun your daughter.

regarding the thai law, i think they have no idea. i have already stated to her that by thai law if i am willing to take care of our daughter when she can't then it would be illegal for her to give her to her family to do so. i think she believed me as she didn't reply.

edit* i left her downstairs for 20 minutes watching monsters inc with her mum whilst i checked my emails and left the above post. on returning the mother was fast asleep. i will go back down now and play some lego making sure to film it and get the mother in shot asleep in the background

Edited January 18, 2010 by c411um

[MikeyIdea]

"when she can't then it would be illegal for her to give her to her family to do so" - It's illegal because her father doesn't allow it.

Funny you write - on returning the mother was fast asleep. I bought a 10 foot above ground swimmingpool at ToysRUs and I told mummy to watch over Idea while I went to do something for 10 minutes. The water is 65 cm deep and things can happen so quickly. I come back and find Idea playing alone and mummy falling asleep on the sofa...

Your best weapon is your daughter crying for her daddy, wanting to be with her daddy. It'll be difficult for mummy to take her away then. Daughter stays with daddy but mummy can come and visit come easier and cost less.

The above ground swimming pools are great by the way. 10 foot diameter cost 4,000 bath 13 months ago, cover and big double action pump another 1,500 bath. Need flat and not tilting area to put it on and a powerful water pump (it's 3,500 liters to fill, takes 2 hours). Great fun, I can highly recommend it

Edited January 19, 2010 by MikeyIdea

[anon345535]

i have a small paddling pool probably about 5 foot and there's also 2 communal pools here. i often take her swimming but she's been sick a lot recently probably due to starting school. i took her at the weekend and she was absolutely freezing when we got out, she looked so cute shivering though the water really is quite cold atm.

as for falling asleep, her mum often dozed off whilst "taking care" of our daughter. i suggested that if she was tired she should tell me so i can stop what i'm doing upstairs/outside and look after her. it fell on deaf ears of course and after repeatedly doing it it took my 12-month old daughter falling off the second stair and cracking her head on the tile floor and gaining a huge lump on her forehead before she "wised up". even without this recent prostitution caper her mother has proved countless times she is no good, but she thinks just because she loves her it makes her a good mother. if we was in the UK i would of gone for full custody 2 years ago and got rid of her... ah such is life :/

[MikeyIdea]

My advice is let the mother have her fun, it distracts her and makes her daughter less important -> good for you.

Children always get sick a lot when starting school, it's a necessary evil, they will build up their immune system and it will slowly get better. I can highly recommend buying salt solution (saline solution) and flush the nose in the mornings. I posted more information in the link below. It's a very good thing to start doing 2 weeks before school starts, before the rainy season starts etc. and continue for a month or so to help the child "over the hump" (or more or less depending on what is needed)

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Swine-Flu-Scare-t315800.html

[MikeyIdea]

Echo if we were in Sweden i would of gone for full custody 2 years ago and got rid of her... ah such is life :/

[gregb]

There is no easier way to get the ball rolling. The child is 3 years old,

I personally know someone who *HAS* done this at the ampur when the child was only 2. This was upcountry though, not in Bangkok. Technically it might be stretching the law, but we all know officials have discretion in cases like this. Remeber that the law does not specifically specify an age where this procedure is allowed. My first memories are around age 3 or 4, an argument could be made the child is aware enough to proceed. It is worth taking along a very polite Thai patron who knows how to get things done and can try and present a good image for you. It may be a long shot, but it will be a heck of alot easier, faster and cheaper than going to juvenile court, which as you noted will take months.

[MikeyIdea]

I did it long before my daughter was 7 years old too, the mother signed on behalf of my daughter on my legitimation certificate. 3 reasons made it possible: 1) Up-country, no way it can be done in Bangkok 2) I speak fast and good Thai, we only speak Thai in the family, my wife can't even speak English 3) The officers at the amphur was in a good mood that day

It's so unusual that I chose to not mention it. It would never have been possible to do in Bangkok anyway. But you are right, it can happen up country

I heard from a friend that waiting time at Juvenile court now is a little bit over 2 months

Mikey

[anon345535]

@ gregb:

i have already paid a visit to the amphur without success.

[dmax]

sorry to hear that mate but im in exactly the same position as yourself, everything was fine at start but then things started going downhill with me and her, then she became pregnant , i thought it would of made things better but now things between me and my wife are as bad as ever and rapidly going downhill, i love my daughter with all my heart but cannot leave her in the hands of her mother, her mother doesnt drink or play about that i know of but she has no education and her family is poor so i dont want my daughter griwing up in los having no quality schooling and living in a villiage in issan, i dont have much money now and have lost my job through recession so i cant afford to send big money to my wife if ever she was to leave me and take baby back to thailand which she has threatened to do.. when we were in isaan staying for 4 mths recently my wife just handed our daughter to anyone who wanted to hold her even drunken strangers and kids who thought it funny to sit my 6 mth old baby girl on the back of a mangy scabby dog as if it were a horse and take her for a ride, this is not responsible behavior and is totally unacceptable to me..

you seem to have money or at least a job, is there any way you could take full responsibility for your daughter and leave your wife as she is clearly not playing the game with you or your daughter.

in thailand a child under the age of 16 can overstay their visa in thailand without any blacklist etc so im worried about my wife trying to take her back to los, hopefully this wont happpen, im only staying with her for childs sake now so im stuck in a bad situation but whats the flip side of the coin for me ?

i wish you all the best my and hope you come out of this heads up !!

[anon345535]

thanks, best of luck to you too mister. fortunately i have enough funds to take care of my daughter here in thailand for quite some time (years) if we went to the UK i also have a share in a house there which has a tenant atm but if needed they would be removed and with my share i could live there rent free for the next 7 years.

my "gf" really does seem to have hit rockbottom atm. although i am secretly quite enjoying it, it's really quite sad to watch. she is on the verge of being cast aside by all the neighbours but it's ok because she has her new soi dog "sistas"

[scorecard]

I deeply admire your values and your desire to be a good, loving, and caring father, and to create the best possible future for your daughter.

You can see clearly from the good advice on this thread that it will be along and hard road.

Please hang in and don't get discouraged.

The very best of good luck.

[anon345535]

i haven't updated for a while. things have continued to deteriorate. she stopped the prostitution for the time being (a few weeks ago). she went back to her family house in korat for 3 days (our daughter stayed with me) she returned home 10 days later and immediately continued where she left off; being her usual lazy/selfish self, doing what was easiest for her. within 30 minutes of returning home from us both collecting our daughter from school she was asleep on the sofa as our daughter played by herself and watched cartoons.

the following friday (3-4 days after her return) she told me she was taking our daughter to "dream world" with her family. when i say told me, what i actually mean is i overheard her mentioning it. i didn't have a problem with this as long as she looked after her and didn't pass the responsibility to someone else which is often the case 90% of the time. after school her niece came to the house (3 months older than my daughter) i played with them took them both out on the bicycle then when it was time for her to go home i showered my daughter and got her ready for bed so she could go along for the ride in the car. as they were going out of the door i asked her mother to not bring her home at 10/11/12 o'clock which is often the case as she would be falling asleep within the next hour. she notified me only then that she was staying at her sisters house that night. of course i wasn't happy with this, especially when she said she would be returning on sunday. to avoid yet another argument i allowed this as long as she came back saturday evening. several phone calls the next day and she finally answered at 18:30. i wasn't able to speak with my daughter as she apparently was asleep. i didn't even ask if she was coming back as i knew she had no intention to.

on sunday after several phone calls in the morning i again wasn't able to speak to my daughter. i asked her if she could bring the car home so i can get some shopping done at tescos, she said she would. an hour later a security guard knocked on my door and gave me 3 large bottles of milk! repeated phone calls were fruitless, i was still assuming she would return late evening. i received a text which word for word was: "hi honey i am stay at home korat with my family, take care yourself, love you and big kissxxx"

i felt sick. of course i immediately called to no avail. at least 40 missed calls later she finally answered the following day, again i was unable to speak to my daughter as she was "asleep". i was told they would be returning on sunday. as it stands i have spoken to my daughter twice in a week. all she would say is "i wanna go home to see daddy" "i want to watch cartoons with daddy" "i want to play lego with daddy" "i want to go swimming with daddy" "i want to go on my bike with daddy". when the phone was eventually taken from her she started crying and screaming. i suggested that she wasn't enjoying herself as much as her mother makes out she was. i got cut off. the last time i spoke to my daughter was tuesday. her mother never answers the phone and when she eventually does i am told my daughter is asleep. i spoke with her for 30 minutes last night to eventually be told if i phone today she will let me speak to her. i phoned this morning, she answered unusally quickly (about 5 missed calls) she said she was outside buying food and that she would call me back when she got home. i suggested that she wasn't outside, i could tell from the echo that she was in fact inside at the time and asked her again to let me speak to my daughter. she said her brother had taken her out somewhere. "the brother that has just been released from jail for shooting someone in the arm and testing positive for the use of yabba? you have entrusted this pillar of society to take care of your daughter?" she hung up and turned her phone off.

i am now doing all i can to gather evidence of her selfishness, her lazy behaviour, her lies and most importantly that she is a bad mother and extremely poor role model. i want her influence completely removed. whether i can achieve this i will find out sometime in the future :/

Edited February 12, 2010 by c411um

[gregb]

I am so sorry to hear this. You truly do have my sympathy.

The worst part is you have absolutely no legal recourse. Seems to me you have only 1 option. I hope you are a good poker player, because you are now holding nothing but a pair of 5's against her straight flush. I don't know what you can do other than try and bluff. If she calls your bluff, you are no worse off than you are now. But if she folds, then at least you may be able to reestablish the status quo.

You have to physically go to Korat and see her, and you may have to threaten with calling the police if she doesn't return your daughter immediately. Do keep in mind you can't actually take your daughter back unless she agrees, and you can't actually do anything more than threaten with the police. But you can make up any story you want. You can threaten her with jail time for pulling the child out of school without permission. As Michael says, most Thais have no idea of the law.

But even if you don't leave with her, the most important part of this is that your daughter will know the truth. You have absolutely no idea what lies are being told to her right now. She may think you don't want her anymore. Do not let that lie get started. Make sure your child knows the truth, and make sure she knows you are going to fight to get her back. What the mother thinks of this is no longer relevant. Do not let her lie to your daughter.

You might try hiring a policeman or two to come along with you for intimidation reasons. They won't be able to do anything at all, and they'll probably tell you that up front, but their mere presence could be unnerving enough to get your wife to agree to let you take the child. Plus, you would have a reliable witness to the fact she really did agree to let the child go if she decides to file abduction charges later. You have to think of how messy this could get. You'd have to explain to the police you just want them along as a witness to whatever happens, and pay them well enough to make sure they are not inclined to come to the mother's assistance.

I hope this will work out for you in the end, but you now have to do everything possible to control the damage.

Let us know how things go and keep your spirits up.

[Mario2008]

How arethings going with a lawyer, it seems the only option you have.

Kow that when a child is in danger, Thai authorities can act quickly.

[anon345535]

i had to put the lawyers on hold as bangkok bank decided to change the bank account number but insisted that nothing had changed, this of course lead to me waiting nearly 2 weeks to receive funds. i am now in possession of enough money to pay lawyers and have freed some money in the uk. a decent amount that would take the average thai 20 years to earn so in that department i should be ok for the time being. i have also switched lawyers, i wasn't happy with the response times with the last bunch, it took them 2 days to contact me after i had given them the go ahead. i have a meeting with the new lawyer on sunday morning.

fortunately/unfortunately we are not married, if we were i believe i would be within my rights to do exactly what she is doing now? not that i ever had any intention of doing that before and i know it will not help me in the long term which is what i am looking for, a long term fix to remove her bad influence. i will now be going for a minimum of 50% custody with full residency obviously i would like 100% full custody but i think that may well be wishful thinking on my part but that is what i will be setting out to achieve.

[richm7]

Richm7, can you read this please:

Section 1547

A child born of the parents who are not married to each other is legitimate by the subsequent marriage of the parents, or by the registration made on application by the father, or by a judgment of the court.

What does it mean?

If you do not know the law and has no experience of how family law in Thailand is practiced then please don't post and spread false information

Michael

Michael,

It is of course your right to disagree with me, but please do not accuse me of spreading false information. I find your comment particularly irksome because the BS you get from unqualified and uninformed clowns on this site is something I have railled against in the past. Recognizing that I might have (inadvertently) done the very thing you accuse me of I checked my post carefully and am at a loss to see just what false information I am spreading. The simple fact is that neither me nor my daughter's mother is the notifier on her Thai birth certificate yet it never was an impediment to us doing anything BEFORE we were married. That included getting her Thai Passport (for which I HAD to be present and sign for) nor her British birth certificate or passport. My comments regarding your chances of success in the Thai legal system (or, to be cynical, any legal system) were based upon direct experience and the experience of friends. I don't claim to be a lawyer nor do I quote great chunks from Thai Law(or the English translation thereof, which anybody who has dealt with foreign law will tell you is extremely dangerous). I am just a (sensible?) guy recounting my own opinions and experiences.

I take it from the way you write you are perhaps a lawyer. If not, exactly what is your basis for quoting chunks of Thai law? If you are a lawyer, jolly good. I'll ask another one and get a totally different opinion. How do I know? Because I do it and it happens, every day. And if you think the legal process is fair and above board in Thailand I have a very nice bridge in London I can flog you, cheap.

I do not mislead people by claiming to be something I am not or by perhaps giving the impression I am something I am not. The last time I challenged someone on their qualification (medical in this case) I didn't get an answer. I wonder why?

[Mario2008]

The law and how thai authorities deal with it in practise are two completely different things. If your name is on the BC in general people assume you are the leagl father and will not also ask for confirmation of that fact. So yes, in general there is no problem.

However, for instance abduct the child and you will find out it will be considerd kidknapping.

[anon345535]

a dramatic change of events....

finally got to speak to my daughter last night, she carried on where she left off "i wanna go in the car and see daddy!" etc. etc. she even wanted me to take her to toilet. after about 15 minutes i spoke to her mum. when asked she said she was still coming back on sunday and she would be bringing her father and brother with her. i told her not to think for a second i will find this intimidating, she said it was a precaution in case i cause problems. i suggested she could bring the army, as long as she brings my daughter there will be no problems.

anyway... at around 22:30 SHE rang me and basically said it's quite obvious to her and her family my daughter loves me very much. she suggested she finds somewhere to stay and i can take care of our daughter monday to friday and she will take care of her at the weekends. now this isn't ideal and i suggested her word isn't good enough on this one. it will need to be done officially as obviously if she changes her mind next month i am in the same situation i am in now. as i haven't seen my daughter now for nearly ten days i think i will go along with this. it will obviously make legitimization much simpler as long as i can be nice for the next few months plus i will end up with pretty much 50% custody which in the grand scheme of things is less than i was going to fight for but if i can get that without fighting i can continue my quest for full custody by continuing to gathering evidence....

thoughts?

[gregb]

Congratulations.

I think this is a wonderful turn of events for both you and your daughter. You really do need to be involved with the daily activities of your child at this point. I would hate to think what the mother's family might tell her otherwise. Sounds to me like you just caught a big break.

The way I understand it, you can sign any deal you want right now with the mother but it is totally unenforceable as you have not yet legalized the birth. Her word is really all you have, and she can change it any time she wants until the courts decide this really is your legal daughter. You are essentially nothing more than a babysitter. This might be an excellent delaying tactic however as you continue down the road of establishing your parental rights. It may lead her to a false sense of complacency. At the very least a contract worth little more than toilet paper could prevent a repeat of what you just went through as long as she doesn't realize the true nature of it. (Just a thought: if you actually demand something from her in writing that could actually trigger her to contact a lawyer which would be very bad for you. Verbal may be the best way to go. I would definitely get legal counsel on this.)

One question I do have though, and perhaps Michael (who seems to have some excellent legal sources) or any lawyer on this thread can answer, is would an unenforceable contract such as this signed before the legalization had occurred automatically be upgraded to become enforceable after the child is legalized? Alternatively, would a juvenile court judge attempting to determine custody be permitted to use a contract such as this in determining intent of the parties? Would the OP's case for sole custody be harmed by signing an unenforceable contract for shared custody?

These would be some of my concerns regarding strategy, but whatever you do I think you have just benefitted enormously from this recent turn of events.

I do wonder what suddenly changed their minds? It would be an excellent sign if they really are being honest with you and putting the child's best interests at heart. If the mother is responsible enough to recognize the child needs her father, maybe that means she also realized at the same time that the child needs her mother, and vowed to start acting more like one? Will be interested to know if her actions in the future demonstrate a renewed sense of responsibility.

Edited February 14, 2010 by gregb

[GOWER]

So if the father is not named on the childs birth certificate in TWO places, as has been indicated by other poster - will the father still be able to register the childs birth at British Embassy?

YES

I do think the child should be registered, then a British passport can be obtained for the child. Just in case

NO NEED TO REGISTERED THE BIRTH, YOU CAN JUST GET THE BRITISH PASSPORT LIKE I DID, WITH OUT MY WIFE SHE DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO SIGN ANYTHING

""However, for instance abduct the child and you will find out it will be considerd kidknapping""

NOT

GENERAL INFORMATION: Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent's authorization. The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction

Edited February 15, 2010 by GOWER

[Boo]

""However, for instance abduct the child and you will find out it will be considerd kidknapping""

NOT

GENERAL INFORMATION: Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent's authorization. The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction

I think it has been determined on this thread & others that UNLESS the father has been legitimized then they are not considered the legal father under thai law & is therefore no, not parental kidnapping, just plain old kidnapping.

Can anyone clarify this?

[anon345535]

yup, plain old kidnapping i would expect.^^

back to my issue, i suspect she was only being nice recently as she has probably run out of money and may have possibly consulted a lawyer who told her that i would get custody from sunday evening to saturday morning and advised her to offer me that without the need for going to court so that if she ever wanted to run off with my daughter again for whatever reason she would be within her rights to do so. when i was adamant that her word was not any good anymore and doing this "agreement" through the courts was the only route i would be taking she wasn't really interested in talking anymore. not that she ever had much to say on the subject, she is far more interested in sitting on the floor eating somtam and watching pantomime television.

i went to see a lawyer yesterday, he said it's highly unlikely i will get sole custody, even with the "evidence" i have unless i can prove that she beats our daughter. he said what i would most likely get would be shared custody. i would have my daughter from sunday evening to saturday morning which isn't what i want but will gladly take that. he mentioned that she might try and countersue saying i beat her which she will have no evidence of. i did say the only thing she may be able to prove with witness statements is that i often shout at her (for basically being a lazy, selfish, bad mother) in his exact words he said "the judges will not give a **** about that!"

i find it quite ironic that this happened on valentines day. i sent her a nice text saying i had bought her a nice expensive present and that i hope she will enjoy receiving it as much as i will enjoy giving it! i told her today, after she finally answered the phone 30 hours and 70 missed calls later, that i won't be phoning anymore. if she wants to be nice and play ball i will make this as painless as possible, if she wants to continue with what she is doing i told her to remember that when i hold all the cards and not to expect any favours from me.

the suit will be filed on wednesday i think she'll have one month to answer it. hopefully i will end up with a one-sided hearing

Edited February 15, 2010 by c411um

[MikeyIdea]

As usual on this forum people are jumping to conclusions and misleading this poor fellow. I see statements like "you are not the legitimate father". Not necessarily so, indeed, probably completely wrong.

****

So long as you filled out and signed the hospital documents, you're O.K.

Richm7, I accused you of spreading false information because of what you wrote above, correct. I have nothing more to add

[MikeyIdea]

Hi C411um,

Sunday evening to Saturday morning is not all you want but it is a good start, a very good start even. The court will see that you are ready to provide and care for your child, you have the opportunities to do so and you have done it all the time this far. The mother on the other hand has never done it and is not ready to do it. Thai courts care about the well-being of the child first, it doesn't mean that you will get sole custody of course but it shouldn't be too difficult for you to get the important time for school and education - Sunday evening to Saturday morning.

The mother is of course allowed to be with the child on the weekends but the good thing is that she will have very little money to do it with. And, the child being with you the vast majority of time is so important. The child will be so attached to you and she will cry and want to go back to daddy when she is with mummy. That is a very difficult feeling for the mother to cope with, she should get bored with it pretty soon. It would surprise me the mother will not come and fetch the child less and less during the weekends. It is not your responsibility to help the mother with money so that she can meet her child on the weekends. Hard words, yes, but true. The less the mother sees the child the better the day you want to fight for sole custody. If the mother doesn't deserve it, then hold on to the money

Mikey

[anon345535]

lawsuit was filed yesterday. i haven't seen my daughter now for almost 3 weeks. her mum usually has her phone switched off now, when it isn't she never answers even though i told her i only want to speak to my daughter. three weeks almost out of school and her mother still claiming to be thinking of her future :/

apparently this will all end at the end of may, the way things have gone for the past week i wouldn't be suprised if she just buried her head in the sand and hopes i'll get tired of fighting and i just disappear, so her not responding to the court is a real probability atm. of course i have no idea if she has taken legal advice or not...

if she doesn't respond, she can't be forced to attend so i am lead to believe and it will be a one sided hearing with only one "winner" (there is no real winner in this situation, only a loser, which unfortunately will be my daughter:()

what does concern me is if she doesn't respond and i am granted sole custody (a big if) how much of a traumatic experience this will be for my daughter. how do the "authourities" go about this? a question i need to ask my lawyer. should i be there when it happens? or should i be a short distance away so they can do their stuff and reunite me with her as soon as possible. i have no idea how to approach this one if these events should occur. :/