Dating Girls Is Really, Really Hard

[aureate]

Honestly... unless you're just looking for a 'companion' and you don't care if you and your girl click or if you even understand what the heck she's going on about, just show the bling. MOST ( not all ) Thai women are just after the money or the passport.

Simple. If you're Asian, you'll have a harder time convincing them you've got money. Don't bother trying to figure out where their racism comes from.

My suggestion. Cross Thailand off your list if you want a real relationships. You're better off with a girl from Singapore. Singaporeans have an in your face approach to expressing how they feel - but at least you know where you stand. And Singaporean women rock. I know first hand. I'm a half breed. My mom is a Singapore -Eurasian, My dad is American. IMH( but possibly biased)O :Eurasians - Most pleasantly datable demographic of women on the planet. Western Outlook - Asian values. Perfect!

[rikkie]

Think of how you would meet a girl in your home country.

and

try to do the same here.

Not different, not harder, not easier.

Name of the game is getting out of your hotel room and interacting with people around you.

Enrole in a language school. Go out and practice what you have learned on everyone you come into contact with during the day. The Thai's will love it, & I hazard to say you will meet more girls that way than you would have in your own country, so not "knowing" the language could actually work in your favour.

and some free advice:

If you can't get a "hiso" girl in your home country, I wouldn't set your sights on one here either.

you are so right, i live here 3 year and can have dinner and ... with most of na rak girl here where i live, just positive attitude and be friendly do the works, and yes speak nit noi thai the will love it.

now they don't like me because have thai gf to long lol, but thats what you want chi mai

[MrHammer]

^Don't need dosh mate, just need the ability to speak to the ladies with confidence and show your personality. If you are void of this I can see why you might have problems here.

I don't have problems meeting women in any country. It's just tiresome to get 'Arai na?' from most. My own fault for not learning Thai of ot course, but if you want to meet English speaking Thai girls without working in an office, then you need dosh for either the lo-so girls or hi-so girls. It's not free to hang out where they hang out now is it? Or paying tuition fee at an English uni. If I could speak Thai, it would be an entirely different matter.

[britmaveric]

Course its not free if you go to cafe, restaurants or bars where they hang out. You do need to eat/pay for drinks - I'm certain a total stranger might pay for it unless you are extremely handsum. Anyways my point is you just need to intro yourself and very easy to get mobile numbers and have chats with them. It pretty much works the same as back in the west.

[MrHammer]

Course its not free if you go to cafe, restaurants or bars where they hang out. You do need to eat/pay for drinks - I'm certain a total stranger might pay for it unless you are extremely handsum. Anyways my point is you just need to intro yourself and very easy to get mobile numbers and have chats with them. It pretty much works the same as back in the west.

True. I guess the language factor may sometimes make things seem more complicated than they are.

[mmushr00m]

Agree with the above. You dont go out looking for a mate/the mother of your children. You go out to have fun, meet some girls , trade numbers (or wrong numbers) and then see what happens.

Maybe thats why he has no luck with the ladies, who wants someone that is looking for a mate at the get go.

oh and..."^Don't need dosh mate, just need the ability to speak to the ladies with confidence and show your personality. If you are void of this I can see why you might have problems here."

agree 100%.

[phillyherb]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

When I was last in Thailand, at least in BKK, I met many girls on the BTS, mostly university students.

I would be sure to ride them when the University was getting out, also at MBK and Central World Plaza.

I think if you just act normal, and engage in converstation, even a simple, "Hello, how was your day, can I ask

you what you are studying for?"

Just be friendly, but not too assertive, act like you are really interested in them, not just getting them in bed,

sometimes you will be surprised.

Mostly I just wanted to take someone out to dinner or a movie, I didn't look for anything else, but often

I didn't have to, they would take the initiative, and believe me it is much more fun when they do.

[Portlandstone]

Eurasians - Most pleasantly datable demographic of women on the planet. Western Outlook - Asian values. Perfect!

If you're talking about the half-asian half-white chicks I've seen around town, I got the feeling they do not like white guys, as in even just saying "hi." They seem put off, and also snobbish, but then again in the areas I've seen them the most -- CentralW, MBK, BigC Raj -- people in general seem that way. The impression I got was that a lot of these euro-asian young adults want to "come back to the motherland," which doesn't include meeting a white guy.

[whistleblower]

First, thank you for the answers.

No, I'm not from India. The comments come from the reaction I see in some Thai people when dealing with Indians. As far as I know about Thai culture, they owe them a lot of critical things but, in some cases, Indians are considered second-class citizens. Anyway, it's just my experience.

Meeting new girls is easy when you are studying in the university but it becomes slowly but increasingly harder when you leave it. People start to live together with their partner, and over time that leads to marriages. If you remove your friends and your co-workers network (the last two girls I met were working in my company and in a customers department) it's really hard (for me at least). And something I didn't think about when planning to come here.

My only social activity here is the Muay Thai camp, but as you can imagine, it isn't a good place to meet girls. I met other foreigners there but they are more interested in "short-term" relationships.

So I'm trying to figure out a course of action. As a stranger in a strange land, without speaking the language, I'm wondering how foreign people are meeting girls here (girls with an university background, who aren't engaged) if you don't physically work in a company.

Best regards,

At least your "only social activity" will stand you in good stead if you pick up a lady boy by mistake!!!!

[Colabamumbai]

First, thank you for the answers.

No, I'm not from India. The comments come from the reaction I see in some Thai people when dealing with Indians. As far as I know about Thai culture, they owe them a lot of critical things but, in some cases, Indians are considered second-class citizens. Anyway, it's just my experience.

Meeting new girls is easy when you are studying in the university but it becomes slowly but increasingly harder when you leave it. People start to live together with their partner, and over time that leads to marriages. If you remove your friends and your co-workers network (the last two girls I met were working in my company and in a customers department) it's really hard (for me at least). And something I didn't think about when planning to come here.

My only social activity here is the Muay Thai camp, but as you can imagine, it isn't a good place to meet girls. I met other foreigners there but they are more interested in "short-term" relationships.

There are a number of women on the worlds largest free dating site yet many do not speak much English, it takes a lot of weeding out but you can find them, even if their sister is the one who initially responds to your email. It can be trying, but I have met a beautiful woman from Issan who took the initiative to come to Bangkok to meet me, a ten hour bus ride each way. She is taking the time to expand her english vocabulary to speak more to me, as I study Thai Language. She is marriage material and I will visit her town when I finish school here next month. Already she is asking me If I have any men friends for her single girlfriends. Unfortunately in Bangkok I have no real male friends as most are with women or too busy teaching or studying.

So I'm trying to figure out a course of action. As a stranger in a strange land, without speaking the language, I'm wondering how foreign people are meeting girls here (girls with an university background, who aren't engaged) if you don't physically work in a company.

Best regards,

At least your "only social activity" will stand you in good stead if you pick up a lady boy by mistake!!!!

[Colabamumbai]

First, thank you for the answers.

No, I'm not from India. The comments come from the reaction I see in some Thai people when dealing with Indians. As far as I know about Thai culture, they owe them a lot of critical things but, in some cases, Indians are considered second-class citizens. Anyway, it's just my experience.

Meeting new girls is easy when you are studying in the university but it becomes slowly but increasingly harder when you leave it. People start to live together with their partner, and over time that leads to marriages. If you remove your friends and your co-workers network (the last two girls I met were working in my company and in a customers department) it's really hard (for me at least). And something I didn't think about when planning to come here.

My only social activity here is the Muay Thai camp, but as you can imagine, it isn't a good place to meet girls. I met other foreigners there but they are more interested in "short-term" relationships.

There are a number of women on the worlds largest free dating site yet many do not speak much English, it takes a lot of weeding out but you can find them, even if their sister is the one who initially responds to your email. It can be trying, but I have met a beautiful woman from Issan who took the initiative to come to Bangkok to meet me, a ten hour bus ride each way. She is taking the time to expand her english vocabulary to speak more to me, as I study Thai Language. She is marriage material and I will visit her town when I finish school here next month. Already she is asking me If I have any men friends for her single girlfriends. Unfortunately in Bangkok I have no real male friends as most are with women or too busy teaching or studying.

So I'm trying to figure out a course of action. As a stranger in a strange land, without speaking the language, I'm wondering how foreign people are meeting girls here (girls with an university background, who aren't engaged) if you don't physically work in a company.

Best regards,

At least your "only social activity" will stand you in good stead if you pick up a lady boy by mistake!!!!

Sorry my post ended up in your original posting....

[GarryP]

When I was last in Thailand, at least in BKK, I met many girls on the BTS, mostly university students.

I would be sure to ride them when the University was getting out, also at MBK and Central World Plaza.

Was that a Freudian slip or intentional?

[bkkjames]

When I was last in Thailand, at least in BKK, I met many girls on the BTS, mostly university students.

I would be sure to ride them when the University was getting out, also at MBK and Central World Plaza.

Was that a Freudian slip or intentional?

He only did it to see if people with naughty minds would notice. Apparently we did.

[Colabamumbai]

First, thank you for the answers.

No, I'm not from India. The comments come from the reaction I see in some Thai people when dealing with Indians. As far as I know about Thai culture, they owe them a lot of critical things but, in some cases, Indians are considered second-class citizens. Anyway, it's just my experience.

Meeting new girls is easy when you are studying in the university but it becomes slowly but increasingly harder when you leave it. People start to live together with their partner, and over time that leads to marriages. If you remove your friends and your co-workers network (the last two girls I met were working in my company and in a customers department) it's really hard (for me at least). And something I didn't think about when planning to come here.

My only social activity here is the Muay Thai camp, but as you can imagine, it isn't a good place to meet girls. I met other foreigners there but they are more interested in "short-term" relationships.

There are a number of women on the worlds largest free dating site yet many do not speak much English, it takes a lot of weeding out but you can find them, even if their sister is the one who initially responds to your email. It can be trying, but I have met a beautiful woman from Issan who took the initiative to come to Bangkok to meet me, a ten hour bus ride each way. She is taking the time to expand her english vocabulary to speak more to me, as I study Thai Language. She is marriage material and I will visit her town when I finish school here next month. Already she is asking me If I have any men friends for her single girlfriends. Unfortunately in Bangkok I have no real male friends as most are with women or too busy teaching or studying.

So I'm trying to figure out a course of action. As a stranger in a strange land, without speaking the language, I'm wondering how foreign people are meeting girls here (girls with an university background, who aren't engaged) if you don't physically work in a company.

Best regards,

At least your "only social activity" will stand you in good stead if you pick up a lady boy by mistake!!!!

Go to Pattaya you will have a hard time choosing, she/he will follow you back to Bangkok if you like.

[hyperion]

This thread is full of "sad".

Dating Thai women is easy. I've dated girls from lo-so, got not a penny to their name, a collection of middle class university aged girls, car show model pretties, and even dated one of Thailand's biggest pop-singers (Namcha, if you'd like to know, and yes I can prove that).

BE YOURSELF. God I can't say enough about being yourself here. Look clean, be happy, enjoy who you are and where you are, and girls will get that vibe from you. Bangkok is the best city I've ever had the chance to go to, and the women here are gorgeous and not as difficult as you think they really are.

Learn a little about the culture, know that girls will hardly ever open up to you first (unless they are ungodly drunk), and know where the type of girls you want to meet hang out. I'm a young guy, 22, and I want to meet young attractive girls (I'm into the fair skinned, higher class girls... not those monkeys you find at Cowboy and Nana) so I'll hang out around Thong Lor, Ekamai, or anywhere college students will hang out.

And I never go somewhere thinking I'll meet a girl. I go to have fun, be with friends, meet new people. Chances are I'll probably meet some attractive girls along the way, but they will never be attracted to me if I look drab, boring, tired. Just try to look the best you can without having to overdue it. Get your acne taken care of, go to a gym and lose 10 - 20 pounds, get a haircut and shave. I'll normally go out in a decent regular t-shirt and some 1000 baht jeans and it works out just fine. I approach women with confidence the moment I see a girl I'm interested in.

They see a white guy come up to them, of course they are going to be intimidated, but you can use it to your advantage so easily. I'll go up, say Hi in my Minnesotan-American accent (hi-eh). She'll ussually give the look like <deleted> if shes not sure how to react, or if she's interested in me she'll ussually turn to me and start a conversation. If she doesn't, I'll just ask: "Can you speak English?" The normal reply is "a lit-ten bit". Addorable, isn't it?

Anyways, I just bust a move like: "Mai pen rai. Pood Thai gor dai na." And 90% of the time they are like OMG <deleted> WOWWWWWWW (the look in their eyes, jaw kinda drops) and that opens up a plethora of new questions she'll have for me. Now you can't let her ask all the questions, but basically, this gets me through the door and from there you just gotta experiment and see what kind of questions work out the best for you and get you her number or even further. Knowing Thai, if you are taking this route, is pretty essential. I've never had success with a Thai girl that couldn't speak English before I knew Thai (I had an advantage though, I was an exchange student and had the language pretty much crammed down my throat for ten months in northern Thailand)

A quick review -

Know where the women you are in to go

2. Spruce yourself up... you can be yourself, but NO ONE likes a farang in sandals, a hawaiin/safari t-shirt, short khakis or those Thai pajama pants, and a big beer belly. God I see this kind of farang and it makes me regret being a farang sometimes. Look nice, dress in long pants, decent shoes (Don't need to be dress shoes, but shouldn't be running shoes or sandals EVER. Any kind of basic Adidas Superstar/all star kind of shoes are fine. I just wear some all black skateboarding shoes. They look fine), and wear a good, designer t-shirt (No I <3 Thailand shirts you bought at Jatujak). Paragon always has decent sales you can find for mens clothing.

3. Go to where you want to meet women with your friends. If your friends don't like that kind of place, offer to buy the first round of drinks. Always works. Spend a little money and stop being a farang kee ngok

4. The moment you see a girl you like, say hi. Stop staring... its creepy. I see my friends staring all the time and the girl is like &lt;deleted&gt; is he looking at. I'll usually try and intercept before she notices him staring so I can introduce them if that seems logical... otherwise I'll just get her number myself and say tough luck buddy to my friends

5. If she doesn't seem interested, I say fug it and move on. There are too many fine Thai ladies in any club, mall, bowling alley, arcade, restaurant, pub, etc, etc, to just get caught up on one. You're in Thailand for god sakes! Live it up, stop being so worried about meeting the right girl or the wrong girl. Try everything you can and just have fun. I can't remember the amount of times girls come up to me because I look like I'm having so much fun living here.

Alright!?

Oh and if, god forbid, you have to use a dating site as a last resort, DateInAsia.com would be the best resource. Tons of Thai girls on at all times. Just don't come off the bat with "WOW YOU ARE SO PRETTY CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER PLZ K THX" or this "How much for one night?" Thai girls love respect. Ask them a question about something they wrote in their profile and introduce yourself (don't mention how lonely and desperate you are... Thai girls hate desperate guys. They want a man that can stand on their two feet and manage to get womens numbers without having to mope about it like this threads OP) I've used DIA on those nights where my friends are busy, can easily get a number and a date and have made a lot of good friends and "kik"s off of it, too.

Edited March 4, 2010 by hyperion

[britmaveric]

A quick review -

1. Know where the women you are in to go

2. be yourself

3. The moment you see a girl you like, say hi.

4. If she doesn't seem interested, I say fug it and move on.

This is all you need to know....

[Portlandstone]

"Be yourself" -- classic advice that never works. The only one I can agree with is make a move quickly, and stop staring.

[britmaveric]

^works for me, if you are not yourself then you are selling something you are not. Never wise and always ends in disaster.

[IanForbes]

^works for me, if you are not yourself then you are selling something you are not. Never wise and always ends in disaster.

True that. It's like lying. When you lie it takes 10 more lies just to back up the first one. Eventually, you DO get caught and lose all credibility.

It IS hard to gain confidence when you've been a shy person all your life. The only real advice I can give is to ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS of the person you are interested in, and then truly listen to the answers. Look into the person's eyes when they are talking to you. Don't stare at the body parts until the person is comfortable with you. I can get away with that with the friends I associate with, but I don't do it with strangers. I also keep my hands off the bar girls until they get to know me and invite it themselves. A big, friendly smile goes a long way in breaking down barriers.

Most women make up their mind in the first 5 minutes if they are at some point willing to go to bed with a man. That MAY change, but not usually. Sometimes the chemistry only flows from one direction and it only takes a little experience to know when your advances are not reciprocated. At that point move on to greener pastures.

[mmushr00m]

Pretend to be interested in what they are saying, what they do and what they are interested in.

OP is a Muay Thai fighter, so should be in good shape, so unless OP has the broken nose, cauliflower ears, talk like Rocky balboa, It should be no problem.....Unless as mentioned in a few post already....an utter lack pf personality and people skills.

[Colabamumbai]

A quick review -

1. Know where the women you are in to go

2. be yourself

3. The moment you see a girl you like, say hi.

4. If she doesn't seem interested, I say fug it and move on.

This is all you need to know....

Most Thai ladies are full of B.S. The act their shoe size not their age, possibly because most of them are still sleeping with their daughters in their beds.

[StreetCowboy]

A quick review -

1. Know where the women you are in to go

2. be yourself

3. The moment you see a girl you like, say hi.

4. If she doesn't seem interested, I say fug it and move on.

This is all you need to know....

Most Thai ladies are full of B.S. The act their shoe size not their age, possibly because most of them are still sleeping with their daughters in their beds.

TOP GENERALISATION! WELL DONE!

not too helpful or constructive, though...

SC

[alina]

You came here looking for a "potential life-partner". Why?

Its v easy to meet women, they will throw themselves at you. If you genuinely want a woman who's not after your money - GO BACK HOME!

Somehow I suspect the women at home don't want you - in which case, find the best you can who will at least look after you, even though she's only interested in a better life.

Norway is full of them.

[TheLaughingMan]

It IS hard to gain confidence when you've been a shy person all your life. The only real advice I can give is to ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS of the person you are interested in, and then truly listen to the answers. Look into the person's eyes when they are talking to you. Don't stare at the body parts until the person is comfortable with you. I can get away with that with the friends I associate with, but I don't do it with strangers. I also keep my hands off the bar girls until they get to know me and invite it themselves. A big, friendly smile goes a long way in breaking down barriers.

Most women make up their mind in the first 5 minutes if they are at some point willing to go to bed with a man. That MAY change, but not usually. Sometimes the chemistry only flows from one direction and it only takes a little experience to know when your advances are not reciprocated. At that point move on to greener pastures.

I'm so confused...... are you talking about prostitutes? You actually woo and seduce prostitutes? Aren't they paid money to be with you? They might say no?! I must not understand the entire concept.

[StreetCowboy]

8>< NESTED QUOTES DELETED ><8

I'm so confused...... are you talking about prostitutes? You actually woo and seduce prostitutes? Aren't they paid money to be with you? They might say no?! I must not understand the entire concept.

I think you're earlier posts show to some extent that you understand the concept of "buying the lie". The trouble is that you don't seem to understand the concept of "enjoying the lie". Some people might enjoy the fawning and so forth without getting putting in any effort themselves, I imagine some people like to treat the girls like objects, but for a lot of chaps its more of a 'short-term rented girlfriend' relationship.

Does that help clarify?

Maybe we could go for a shandy together next time I'm back in town to explain this in practice?

SC

[TheLaughingMan]

Ya but isn't this taking it to the extreme?!

Check out his advice:

1. Ask a lot of questions of the person you are interested in

2. truly listen to the answers

3. look into the persons eyes when they talk to you

4. Dont stare at body parts until they are comfortable with you

Perfect advice for wooing a woman with the intention of developing some form of romantic relationship with her, but then he blows that whole theory out of the water with:

5. Keep your hands off the prostitute until she gets to know you and invites the contact

6. Smiling helps

If its this much work to hire a ho why on earth would you bother? Save all that cunning "casanovaness" for someone that actually needs it. No? Crikey!

[StreetCowboy]

Ya but isn't this taking it to the extreme?!

Check out his advice:

1. Ask a lot of questions of the person you are interested in

2. truly listen to the answers

3. look into the persons eyes when they talk to you

4. Dont stare at body parts until they are comfortable with you

Perfect advice for wooing a woman with the intention of developing some form of romantic relationship with her, but then he blows that whole theory out of the water with:

5. Keep your hands off the prostitute until she gets to know you and invites the contact

6. Smiling helps

If its this much work to hire a ho why on earth would you bother? Save all that cunning "casanovaness" for someone that actually needs it. No? Crikey!

Goodness me, if that's your idea of work youi must have a great job!

You're obviously not into field sports, or you'd know that the pleasure was in the chase, rather than the kill; or in this case, in believing the lie, and also trying to go a little beyond it. As I say, think of the girls as temporary girlfriends; you're paying the money so that they can be available when its convenient to you, instead of having to wait till they come off shift in the coal mine or karaoke bar or 7-11 or wherever else they would need to be working.

'Cunning casanovaness'; that indicates a certain contempt for your victims, I think, or, as some of us like to call them, girlfriends.

You must have biceps like Popeye, with an attitude like that!

SC

[TheLaughingMan]

So the pleasure isn't in actually getting the "final" service. It's in pretending you must work for the ladies attentions and "chasing" them when in reality all you need do is slap down 1k baht bill? Got it.

[mmushr00m]

nothing wrong with a little "romance" to make it feel less like a business transaction. Some ppl are the sensitive type.

[somtampet]

It reminded me of a story I might have told here on TV some years back.

Some of my friends are musicians, and they had this gig inside one of the huge gated industry areas about 15-20 minutes drive passing the old airport in BKK.

The place they played was a very standard (and simple) Thai place, with 100s of tables, and a big stage for the entertainment.

In we walk, and the place has about 1100-1200 people inside.

I place myself by one of the front tables, because the guys (and gals) in the band have a drink with me between the songs.

I turn around and I meet the eyes of probably 1000 ladies!

A just unbelievable situation.

My friends told me later it was because many of the factories inside this area had mainly female workers.

I look around and I notice there are hardly any guys there.

Maybe about 100.

And as far as I can see, I am the only foreigner there.

Many of you that has been to these kind of places know that people there seems to never be shy when it comes to speak to strangers (or foreigners).

They stop by the table with their glass, saying cheers, and ask where you are from, your name, age, etc.

Very often they bring a message from one of their friends asking if you want their telephone number.

Maybe not because they all want to date you, but want to befriend you.

I dont think it would have been a problem getting some dates there.

One of of those experiences one will never forget.

This happens to me so many times,i have to have 3 memory cards now