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Marriage Questions With Thai Girl

oz457

By oz457
in General Topics

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oz457 Senior Member

oz457

Posted
Posted

Hi all,

I've been dating my thai Isarn GF for 6 years now. We had up and downs, but finally I find her really worth a person. She takes unbelievably good care of me and she seems to be a good girl. We go along very well, have the same idea's and seems clear to me.

She is not a bargirl, but a normal girl, so no sex before marriage. And yes, maybe lots of guys will think this is a beautiful love story.

Now we are about to get married. And I want to know more regarding thai marriage.

It seems that her body belongs to her parents, and to marry and be woman and husband, I'll have to 'buy' her from her parents. I understand the customs.

It also involves in paying money. We agreed on a rather small amount, 100.000 Bath. The question I have is that she also asks me to give her and her family money on a monthly basis. This means they ask for a monthly fee, which I think is much. She tells me this money belongs to us, so when I'm here, she will take care of me. She also tells me that this is a custom. I just want to know if this is true. If so, how is it negociatable?

I hope to get any links to websites who explain more regarding the customs.

I have no idea regarding marriage, regarding papers. I'm a Belgian citizen and I'm only willing to make a a marriage contract where my money belongs to me, and her money belongs to her.

Any information is welcome.

Don't reply to tell me how bad or good Thai girls are, I just need information.

SeanMoran Gold Member

SeanMoran

Posted
Posted

If I was in your shoes, I'd agree to one or the other. One promise, and a little help each month depends on the circumstances of the future. You gotta pay the sin-sot because that's normal, but the monthly stipend is a separate thing. Ask a little more and if they insist then run free.

Sakeopete Gold Member

Sakeopete

Posted
Posted
Forget the money issues, I'm still in shock over the no sex for 6 years part! :D

Make sure she is not a guy :)

That's what I was thinking maybe some concealed plumbing.

cognos Gold Member

cognos

Posted
Posted

even hiso thai chineese girls give it up before they turn 18...

Either you've got a ladyboy or a scam

.. proove it..(i waited the better part of 2 years, with some extra curricular activity thrown in for good measure, but only until we got married).. or are you a mind reader??

signed: I'm also a good "guesser"

Loz Gold Member

Loz

Posted
Posted

make a contract that if you do not break her hymen in the honeymoon ALL BETS ARE OFF!!! No blood, no blood money!

if she is a virgin and you have waited 6 years. My question is this:

will she have finished high school before the "great day"?

scorecard Star Member

scorecard

Posted
Posted

'Her parents own her body!'

First time i've heard it explained like that and I asked my extended Thai family if this 'version' was a typical explanation of sin sod.

The answer was NO.

In fact one female family member (well educated, well balanced, and speaks good English) said she was quite offended by this version of sin sod. She indicated strongly that Thai familes don't speak about sin sod in that manner.

flying Ruby Member

flying

Posted
Posted
She tells me this money belongs to us, so when I'm here, she will take care of me. She also tells me that this is a custom. I just want to know if this is true

Without even going into the money part as it has been discussed many times.......

According to what you said above I wondered.... Are you getting married but will live where you are now & visit your wife?

hawthorne Advanced Member

hawthorne

Posted
Posted

Personally I am glad I was never asked to pay Sin sod because I would not be married to the best woman in the world. I did not understand the custom as now I do. I would hate to think because of my ignorance to the cutoms of my wife's country I lost the best thing I ever had.

I am lucky, my wife replys now, that she knew me well enough to know I would have walked there fore did not invite me to have a traditional Thai wedding.

You have lived in Thailand long enough. I think the customs are just as you say. Sin sod and pay a little from what I hear on here and from other friends married to Thai ladies. So if you continued to date this girl for so long you had to know this was coming. I think you make a deal that you can afford and will not financially harm your life with your wife. That amount depends on you and what you are comfortable with not what your wife is worth. It is not about value for the lady. It is about helping out her family.

If she was single and worked she would be giving money to them money. It is her culture to care for her parents. If the West still had these ideals we would not need welfare and old folks homes.

Be lucky you are marrying a lady with such good family values. Maybe one day she will be taking care of you when you get old

Only you know the answer to your own question.

I would go get laid by a lot of women first before tiing the not though. If you have been pent up for 6 years you may kill the girl. What if she does not like sex. I hate to say not all women find it enjoyable no matter how much they love their man. That lady boy comment has me a little worried. Have you atleast examined the goods? sort of a dry run. You got a lot to consider. Marriage is not always paradise.

tigerfish Gold Member

tigerfish

Posted
Posted

" The question I have is that she also asks me to give her and her family money on a monthly basis. This means they ask for a monthly fee, which I think is much. She tells me this money belongs to us, so when I'm here, she will take care of me. "

what a beautiful play on words.yes she is a very clever (girl?) making you believe that your money does in fact belong to both of you,and that when you are there she will use the money to take care of you.(with your own money! more like take care of herself and her extended family.

what a load of rubbish! thai custom my foot. ive heard more sence come out of a isaan buffalos mouth than what shes told you.

question! in the six years you have been togther how much money have you forked out on her and her family? also does she work and has she ever payed for anything or made a contribution.

if you tell her that you are willing to take her word, that these are thai customs and that you will do what she is asking of you, because this is thailand and it is how things are done. ask her if she is willing to go along with a western custom, i.e sign a pre- nuptual agreement.

be careful my friend, be very careful.

samuibeachcomber Platinum Member

samuibeachcomber

Posted
Posted

I know belguim's a boring place but is this story the best the OP can think up? 6 years and no sex?so you've been dating her since she was 12? I cant imagine dating any lady for even 1 year without sex,life's too short.

rainman Platinum Member

rainman

Posted
Posted
He didn't say that HE didn't have any sex in those 5 years. Just not with her.

:)

do they have sex in belgium?

Unless they plant seeds on a farm and then pick the babies from the trees, I would assume so, yes.

givenall Platinum Member

givenall

Posted
Posted

This post is so ridicules that I think if he goes with this gal and marry her he oz457 deserves to be taken to the cleaners. They one born every Min. no one in right mind will fall for this scam

Eclipse Gold Member

Eclipse

Posted
Posted (edited)

On 19.08.08. The OP posted this.

My wife just got a phone call from her mother in Bangkok. There are more and more rumours about floodings in Bangkok.
Edited by Eclipse
a2396 Gold Member

a2396

Posted
Posted

Never mind the customs. What do YOU want? How old are you and how old is she?? No sex for 6 years? Obviously not a priority with you or her.

a2396 Gold Member

a2396

Posted
Posted
I know belguim's a boring place but is this story the best the OP can think up? 6 years and no sex?so you've been dating her since she was 12? I cant imagine dating any lady for even 1 year without sex,life's too short.

One year ?? Way to long. 2 months maximum. No sex by then & they are history. Many of the locals start banging away by they time they are 14. Take a look at the number of 25 and under women with babies and often with no husbands. This no sex before marriage is (usually) another "Fairy Tale" reserved for Farangs.

FarangCravings Gold Member

FarangCravings

Posted
Posted

His post is a Joke it has to be unless he has been a penpal for 6 years LOL whats funny is shes a normal Issan girl and not a bargirl wonder where he met her :)

Troll post he should know it all with 6 years experience with Thailand

nasajsc Senior Member

nasajsc

Posted
Posted

i am marrying a thai girl from chiang mai - no sin sod, no money or gold to anyone,

she is ok we can do western or thai wedding, and absolutely NO monthly or otherwise

payment to her mother, family, or for new fences or sick buffalos or anything else.

i have dated several thai girls, and luckily found one who is open to other cultures

and ideas, and doesnt expect money to be paid for her or her family. i would not have

it any other way, i dont believe in paying for a woman.

be careful dude, sounds like a scam, whenever i hear the thai girl EXPECTS money

monthly or otherwise, time to bounce. Oh, and like others suggest, check the plumbing....

bellste Senior Member

bellste

Posted
Posted
i am marrying a thai girl from chiang mai - no sin sod, no money or gold to anyone,

she is ok we can do western or thai wedding, and absolutely NO monthly or otherwise

payment to her mother, family, or for new fences or sick buffalos or anything else.

i have dated several thai girls, and luckily found one who is open to other cultures

and ideas, and doesnt expect money to be paid for her or her family. i would not have

it any other way, i dont believe in paying for a woman.

be careful dude, sounds like a scam, whenever i hear the thai girl EXPECTS money

monthly or otherwise, time to bounce. Oh, and like others suggest, check the plumbing....

I didn't pay anything either. The questions about money started after we was married. Then she is not your GF, anymore, but you wife! That's a huge difference!

nasajsc Senior Member

nasajsc

Posted
Posted (edited)
I didn't pay anything either. The questions about money started after we was married. Then she is not your GF, anymore, but you wife! That's a huge difference!

Good point, we have discussed it already, its better to get it out into the open, no money is expected or will

be given - she is very capable of working and making 10,000 baht per month, if she wants to send that to

her family she can go get a job, simple as that. i aint no santa clause, nor an ATM, if there is fraud or lying

after the marriage, i walk. And anyone else who has been defrauded and lied to, should also walk.

Edited by nasajsc

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