Poverty Forces Thai Women Into Foreign Marriages

[george]

Poverty forces Thai women into foreign marriages

BANGKOK: -- Most Thai women from Thailand's north-eastern region who enter into marriages with foreign men do so to escape the vicious cycle of poverty, but are keen to distinguish themselves from hired brides or prostitutes, according to research published yesterday.

Although it is based on a study in a single north-eastern village, the report by Dr. Rattana Boonmathaya from Mahidol University has wider resonances in a society in which marriage to foreigners is a popular option.

The particular village chosen for the study is noticeable for the fact that nearly one in three of the 330 women aged 20-59 resident there has chosen to marry a foreigner, with 96 percent having married men from Switzerland.

Also notable is the fact that most of the foreign men are 10-18 years older than their Thai brides, and that the majority of both husbands and wives have already gone through previous marriages.

Although the research points to a number of reasons that the women choose to marry foreign men, the most common appears to be the desire to escape from the poverty trap and the feeling among the women that they need to provide money for their families.

But the women also stress that financial considerations are not the only ones at play, saying that foreign men are less likely than they Thai counterparts to be concerned about past relationships or virginity, and have a greater sense of responsibility.

But the women acknowledge that the society often views them in a negative light, as 'hired brides' or even prostitutes, a view shared even by the village's older residents.

"The villagers here aren't happy that people link marriage with foreigners with hired brides. Lots of people fear that the village's reputation has suffered. Older people are trying to fight back by saying that the village is a moral one", Dr. Rattana says.

The popularity for marrying foreign men appears to have become so strong among women in the village that Dr. Rattana fears that it has become a 'fashion', with the majority of girls of primary school age replying that they want to marry a foreigner when asked what they want to be when they grow up.

What is particularly interesting is that many parents in the village now favour daughters over sons, as girls as perceived as being better able to provide for their families.

Indeed, some older people even say that they do not want sons at all, describing them as 'useless'.

For the women themselves, marriage to a foreigner provides mixed blessings.

"The women who are wives of foreign men describe it as miraculous that there are still people who value their bodies, despite the fact that they have already been married and widowed. They feel that someone has given them power for a second time. But the men in the village are afraid that their status has dropped compared to women".

The 'miracle' of marriage, however, is tempered with warnings.

One woman married to a German man and now resident in Switzerland says: "I am lucky to have found a new husband, but I would caution other Thai women who think that marrying a foreigner will give them nothing but a good life".

The woman interviewed says that some Thai women are disappointed with their foreign marriages, to the extent that they sometimes suffer mental health problems.

She also warns that living abroad requires massive adjustments, and that the first phase of life abroad can be a lonely one.

She also says that most Thai women meet their foreign husbands in their own workplaces, with 54 percent meeting in entertainment venues where the women are employed.

A further 20 percent meet through networks of relatives, while 20 percent meet by coincidence or from tourism.

--TNA 2005-05-04

[chuchok]

It seems that Dr. Rattana Boonmathaya has just done a study on something that has been known to the general populace for years.Well done!

[Mason45]

Thai women say that Thai men are usless !! Any wonder, their mothers and grandmothers pamper them shitless, they're spoilt brats by the time they're 4 or 5 yo. It carries on throughout their adulthood, they are selfish, spineless, lack responsibility and dont respect women but on the other hand, girls even very young are supposed to help their mothers take care of the family, to achieve this it might even mean having no education at all, so what are their options ? My wife considers herself lucky, she did 3 years primary school, her brothers went to year 6 but her other sisters didnt go to school at all.

[Orion76]

Did they run out of real news?

[chico]

I don't accept the term "poverty FORCES thai woman into foreign marriage" but it is a good alternative for them.

Men are not FORCED to work either, but there aren't too many alternatives to make a living, (apart living from parents or sisters!)

And as how to the village look at foreign husbands ? - that depends on who you are asking!

Some are jealous, some want to copy it, some despise it, some just accept it, some even like it - as in everything : mixed reactions, in our village rather positif!

[marquess]

This perception that Thai women marrying foreign men, is just a money thing and that Thai men are losing their status because of it. Will certainly help to reinforce their alreay prejudice policies towards foreigners who want to settle here with their Thai wives.

I speak from five years experience of having to run around for visas, or having to report to immigration.

[Jai Dee]

Can I call George a troll for posting this little bewdy?

A sure-fire guaranteed hot topic... and then... to email it out to all TV subscribers so it gets maximum coverage...

:D

Although it is based on a study in a single north-eastern village, the report...

Yep... that's the fount of all knowledge in Thailand.

[pedro01]

And I thought she loved me....

This article pretty much hits the nail on the head.

In one case, a very attractive, intelligent but incredibly lazy girl (been at University for 6 years & no sign of any qualifications yet) is up for grabs.

Her parents are worried about this (probably the tuition fees) & want me to find her a husband - my reply - kick her out, stop giving her money & tell her to stand on her own 2 feet for a while. As yet - they haven't done it but are worried about her & don't know what to do. They were asking me to employ her - but bugger that - I'd need to put a TV & Bed in the office.

Now - these parents have reasonable jobs, looked after my wife when her parents died and seem fairly bright to me. My wife obviously looks up to them.

Asking me to find a farang for them to marry their daughter took me & the wife by complete suprise - I mean these people aren't dumb, yet their question is plainly ridiculous.

Find her a husband ? From the husband fairy ?

They want me to find a complete stranger (to them) to marry their daughter who is too <deleted> lazy to learn English. Now - how's that going to work ???

The fact that the girl in question is a carpet muncher doesn't help either.

It's not just poverty - in this case the silly girls just to lazy to work.

[chuchok]

And I thought she loved me....

This article pretty much hits the nail on the head.

In one case, a very attractive, intelligent but incredibly lazy girl (been at University for 6 years & no sign of any qualifications yet) is up for grabs.

Her parents are worried about this (probably the tuition fees) & want me to find her a husband - my reply - kick her out, stop giving her money & tell her to stand on her own 2 feet for a while. As yet - they haven't done it but are worried about her & don't know what to do. They were asking me to employ her - but bugger that - I'd need to put a TV & Bed in the office.

Now - these parents have reasonable jobs, looked after my wife when her parents died and seem fairly bright to me. My wife obviously looks up to them.

Asking me to find a farang for them to marry their daughter took me & the wife by complete suprise - I mean these people aren't dumb, yet their question is plainly ridiculous.

Find her a husband ? From the husband fairy ?

They want me to find a complete stranger (to them) to marry their daughter who is too <deleted> lazy to learn English. Now - how's that going to work ???

The fact that the girl in question is a carpet muncher doesn't help either.

It's not just poverty - in this case the silly girls just to lazy to work.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good Luck!

[sneef]

no one died today hey!

[penelope]

A more interesting study would be thai women that are married to foreign men of the same age, socio-economic standing, similar education/career attainment etc... .you dont hear reports of this as much, maybe it just doesn't sell as well

[dog]

This perception that Thai women marrying foreign men, is just a money thing and that Thai men are losing their status because of it. Will certainly help to reinforce their alreay prejudice policies towards foreigners who want to settle here with their Thai wives.

I speak from five years experience of having to run around for visas, or having to report to immigration.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So true.

[chuchok]

A  more interesting study would be thai women that are married to foreign men of the same age, socio-economic standing, similar education/career attainment etc... .you dont hear reports of this as much, maybe it just doesn't sell as well

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would say you are 100% correct here.A study on what you have mentioned would certainly put the cat amongst the pigeons.

[devildog683]

A  more interesting study would be thai women that are married to foreign men of the same age, socio-economic standing, similar education/career attainment etc... .you dont hear reports of this as much, maybe it just doesn't sell as well

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

true, it would fit me and my wife. both from poor families in the farming community barely making ends meet and shes only 10 months older then me.

[udon]

I seem to recall that this "news" gets trotted out every year at this time.

deja vu?

[Boh Bpen Yang]

The fact that the girl in question is a carpet muncher doesn't help either.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

3

[ray23]

I seem to recall that this "news" gets trotted out every year at this time.

deja vu?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What is particularly interesting is that many parents in the village now favour daughters over sons, as girls as perceived as being better able to provide for their families.

So what is new about this, girls have been stuck with that forever.

Let see now we have the color T.V. in the village. But our daughter didn't marry the foriegner that would be immoral. Better she goes to Bangkok and sells nooden, that how real good girls send home 60K a month. Talk about burying your head in the sand. Very moral, perhaps not accepting any money from the daughters, would say more then, making thier daughters sale the nooden

[taxexile]

Thai women say that Thai men are usless !! Any wonder, their mothers and grandmothers pamper them shitless, they're spoilt brats by the time they're 4 or 5 yo. It carries on throughout their adulthood, they are selfish, spineless, lack responsibility and dont respect women but on the other hand

that is my perception too , and i think it goes a long way to explaining many of the bizarre attitudes that we falangs attribute to the thais.

thai babies in general ,and especially the males are treated almost as gods , and grow up to have little responsibility , little respect for others , little respect for the property of others , and no sense of discipline or acceptance of correction.

the girls do generally grow up as much more responsible , much cleverer and more capable human beings.

find a good one , treat her as you would wish to be treated yourself and let the joys of married life wash over you endlessly.

[udon]

Got to agree on those comments.

Ask any teacher about the behaviour of male Thai anklebiters and up to 12 yrs old

[clbelljr]

I have a myself a situation that also leans in this direction. My present Thai girl friend and I plan to Marry in January. She tells me that Thai men have a terrible prejadice against any previous children. She has a sister-in-law that has two children from her now dead brother. The women is having a terrible time working to feed, send to school, and provide clothing for her children. My girlfriend is not enjoying being at home all the time and wants to work again. She was working for a Bangkok company making good money in cosmetic customer service.

So why the complicated story: My girlfriend wants me to accept her sister-in-law and children in my home. While she's working she will pay the women to clean my house and provide wifely service to me. She thinks we can be a big happy family and I'm worried that relationship problems will mess up the works.

I love children so no problem here, the problem is having two women together. I only need to accidently indicate something was good from the sister-in-law and I have problems with my wife.

This is all to take place next you. And Yes - the sister-in-law is pretty. Odd enough both of the women ages added together equals my age.

[Mason45]

My Thai wife is from an Isaan village, she takes care of me 100%, in return I fully support her, Ive already bought her a home in Bangkok, to show my gratitude for her love and what she's done for me. On the other hand her brothers are the greatest soft c....ks you will ever see, everything that goes wrong for them is always someone elses fault. Thais act on impulse, there is never any planning or considering the consequences. Every time my wifes brothers have a domestic with their partners, they jump on their motor bikes and go back to mamma and cry on her shoulder, even the 45 yo.

[Scott]

I have a little trouble understanding how anything as biased as this report can be called a "study". It's interesting on what seems to be a slow news day, but it lacks anything that would remotely qualify it as a study.

Pretty similar to some of the studies that I've conducted at the bars....

By the way, as a teacher, I find the female students to be pretty useless as well--have caught well over 50% more girls cheating than boys. Cheating on exams that is (surely not on husbands).

[devildog683]

one thai man i have come to appreciate is my wifes 17yr old brother. Any time a man in the village gives her sh*t, farang or thai, he makes them regret. He just beat the fcku out of her older brother (32-35?) for threatening to kill her with a knife

[chico]

I have a little trouble understanding how anything as biased as this report can be called a "study".  It's interesting on what seems to be a slow news day, but it lacks anything that would remotely qualify it as a study.

Pretty similar to some of the studies that I've conducted at the bars....

By the way, as a teacher, I find the female students to be pretty useless as well--have caught well over 50% more girls cheating than boys.  Cheating on exams that is (surely not on husbands).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Does cheating mean 'being useless?'

and would the fact, that 50% more girls getting caught mean, they are more cheating, or the boys are more clever at it?

I remember my teacher saying : anybody can cheat, and if he doesn't get caught, he deserves to pass!

if he gets caught, he deserves double to fail : for not having studied, and for being too stupid to get help (by cheating)!

[Sunderland]

My wife saved me from a life of poverty in the north-east of England

[thaiwing]

devildog + To appeciate

one thai man i have come to appreciate is my wifes 17yr old brother. Any time a man in the village gives her sh*t, farang or thai, he makes them regret. He just beat the fcku out of her older brother (32-35?) for threatening to kill her with a knife

Gun, knife....step back and re-evaluate who you want to know and appreciate devildog....

[devildog683]

devildog + To appeciate

one thai man i have come to appreciate is my wifes 17yr old brother. Any time a man in the village gives her sh*t, farang or thai, he makes them regret. He just beat the fcku out of her older brother (32-35?) for threatening to kill her with a knife

Gun, knife....step back and re-evaluate who you want to know and appreciate devildog....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i think i get what your saying.....

the brother with the knife doesnt even live in the village, and now he cant show his face, everyone hates him there after this incident, he wont be back anytime soon

Edited May 4, 2005 by devildog683

[sabaijai]

I heard someone - might have been Dr Rattana, or her more well-known peer Dr Suteera Thomson, I forget - being interviewed a couple years ago on Thai talk radio, on the topic of farang-Thai couples. Whoever it was, she must have been in the midst of the research for the newly published report, as part of her commentary focused on the financial motivations for less-than-wealthy Thai women pairing with foreign men. But I also remember very clearly that the prof mentioned being surprised at another motivation that came through in her surveys of Thai women allied with older farang men.

She said many respondents claimed that finances were only a part of the picture, that another reason they took up with the farang was out of pity/compassion. The responses can be summed up as "We see these older farang men, all alone, having travelled all the way from their home countries just to find companionship, and we feel bad that they don't seem to have family or friends to care for them. Sure we profit from the relationship, but we also feel like we're making merit by taking care of men who apparently have no one else."

FWIW.

[Ron]

i would have to second this last post, as I have enjoyed staying in Thailand many years being saved by my third wife a wee gal from Chinese/Khmer background. I have past my time living on the edge of life in many capitalist enviroments until having a dignified existence here by the great help of the wee wife. I would say that Thais are not very different from other people only their unique language sets them apart. Maybe I am naive about them, but there are good days and bad days. So lets enjoy the good times anyway however it falls down.quote=Sunderland,2005-05-04 07:13:54]

My wife saved me from a life of poverty in the north-east of England

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[sabaijai]

I have a little trouble understanding how anything as biased as this report can be called a "study".  It's interesting on what seems to be a slow news day, but it lacks anything that would remotely qualify it as a study.

Pretty similar to some of the studies that I've conducted at the bars....

By the way, as a teacher, I find the female students to be pretty useless as well--have caught well over 50% more girls cheating than boys.  Cheating on exams that is (surely not on husbands).

What makes you think this study is biased? Without knowing the methodology, there's no way to judge. One assumes a Mahidol professor would know how to design and carry out an empirical study.