My 4yr Old Daugher Asks, Why Teacher Hurt My Heart.

[rixalex]

Speaking to the child in pigeon English will do far more damage than being called a na farang.

Absolutely.

Somebody has suggested the possibility that the OP is a troll. I'm always reluctant to get involved with making this accusation, but in this case i do wonder - i mean, is anyone really daft enough to speak to their child in this way? I hope not...

[Gerontion]

^ Sadly, loads of people. Besides, it's a weird topic to pick for a troll, though that said, gvallee2 is having a good bash at getting things going.

[jackr]

Doubt there is any malice involved on the teacher's part, more ignorance, although she defo needs to be spoken to by the mother

[NatLK]

Oh dear..

You get made fun of because you are overweight

So you find a way to seclude yourself from the world instead of just losing the weight?

oh the 21st century...

you dont know her full circumstances, <snip>

Edited January 31, 2010 by Jai Dee
Flame deleted

[Jai Dee]

Some rather nasty comments have been deleted from this topic.

Please keep the discussions civil.

[NatLK]

gvallee2,

first of all u dont kno how fat she is, she could be huge or just a bit chubby, and if she were just a bit chubby then she wouldnt do anything in the list of thing u say about fat people. saying that fat ppl r disgusting is ur opinion so dont use it as a list about fat people. and not all fat people are fat because they choose to be, they could have psychological or physical problem. ur comments are very shallow.

[kitiya1980]

Some rather nasty comments have been deleted from this topic.

Please keep the discussions civil.

Sir thanks a lot! did u read gvallee2 posts?

[Tonto21]

Ok sorry to hear that ur lil gal got upset as a teacher (i was) but people still calling me teacher i'd say ur lil gal's teacher being silly she shouldnt behave like that ...that makes other kids follow wot she does and think its nothing wrong with that.

I live in this country i can say that many many thais seem to pay attention to looks so much look back in the past i was ...wot people called me ugly dark skin and fat kid so i never had a chance to join events teacher's day or show on the stage that made me think something's wrong with me its that horrible? from kindergarten, primary school and elementary school...so yes only good looking kids got a chance to be on the show but yes i was a kid its normal to get upset over that stuff i was too young to know but now i understand JUST THE WAY IT IS in this country so i got bad impression about schools recently i got nightmares u know wot its all about? haha yes about me went back to schools back...like time machine and i cried as hel_l.

For example me i'm a thai and abit overweight but not that bad just because i'm bigger than them and they call me fat they aint afraid to call me fat but make fun with my figure too even they dont know me before especially thai men being friendly at first place then start making fun with my figure ask about my weight they dont know me well enuff so i just ignored them well i avoid to talk to them too i mostly talk to female wot i think their parents dont teach them good about manner i tell u wot my neighbour he's german married with thai lady he got 1 son 11 yo well mannered i was impressed many kids in village dirty mouth but not this half thai-german boy he talks nice to me very polite when i was talking to his dad he never disturb he doesnt make fun with other people being ugly or poor etc. and i think this teacher when he/she was a kid ...haha sorry i dont know him or her but i think u know wot i mean.

I wish u and ur family all the best and cheer up lil gal dont be sad

Kit

Is it just me or is there something not quite kosher about this post?

Hi richm7!

I don’t know who is worse on TV, the spelling and grammar nerd police or the geeks who post irrelevant innuendos or sly comments all with the aim of trying to undermine the OP topic or posts in reply to it.

Which one are you? It looks like the latter. Or do you like to mix it up. Got to get your post numbers up, be with the big boys, but wait, if you actually post anything of substance, you may become the target on here. Best keep your post short and shitty! With a bit of luck one of your other geeky buddies will join in!

Fact is you have nothing to say on this subject, do you? So you just load the gun and hope someone else picks it up and fire it, (metaphorically speaking)

I’m guessing this is just one of “copy and paste” statements you geeks love; “Is it just me or is there something not quite kosher about this post?” The other one I particularly like is; “I think the OP is transferring” A proper little Miss Marpule…….. Very weak!

[bunta71]

The same thing happened to my daughter when we lived in Chiang Mai.Well not the exact same thing.Her situation was getting physically thrown to the ground during lunch and then hit several times by her 4 year old girl classmates. The reason? She was not thai...half Filippina and 3/4 American. The name of the school in Wai Daroon in Tanawan Village.

She ended up kickng and screaming and refused to go back to her class,so we took her out and found a reasonably priced bi-lingual school, NAPA. Thais are very racist and say whatever you wish but when the four year old little girls are so racist it speaks volumes about the parents.

[gvallee2]

The same thing happened to my daughter when we lived in Chiang Mai.Well not the exact same thing.Her situation was getting physically thrown to the ground during lunch and then hit several times by her 4 year old girl classmates. The reason? She was not thai...half Filippina and 3/4 American. The name of the school in Wai Daroon in Tanawan Village.

She ended up kickng and screaming and refused to go back to her class,so we took her out and found a reasonably priced bi-lingual school, NAPA. Thais are very racist and say whatever you wish but when the four year old little girls are so racist it speaks volumes about the parents.

"You are wrong, all the lifelong winners that this forum breeds already told that the thai people are perfect, they are more advanced than first one world countries. We are the ones who dont understand them

You should of kept her there and kissed the feet of every teacher in hope that they wai back at you and finaly keep some mature discipline in the school. If not you should move back to your country."

Just saving you the trouble, now you don't have to read the 50 next posts which i just resumed.

[rixalex]

She was not thai...half Filippina and 3/4 American.

1/2 + 3/4 ???

[StreetCowboy]

My thoughts are with the OP who has to wade through all this shit on the off-chance that anyone has posted anything relevant or useful. My congratulations on not responding to any of the baiting.

I suppose it highlights the importance of posting on the relevant forum - probably the family community forum and leaving the General forum for the attention-seekers and touble-makers.

I hope you get a satisfactory resolution at the school; and at least you can make a more informed decision about moving your daughter to a better school, if need be. If you do, I think it would be well worth explaining to the new school why you moved your daughter there, to minimise the risk of something similar happening again...

SC

[bunta71]

She was not thai...half Filippina and 3/4 American.

1/2 + 3/4 ???

Over your head humor... some on TV are really too serious Any thread I respond to,I attempt to throw a little humor in. Doesn't always work though. As a kid my teachers were always beating me. They also couldn't see the humor. My classmates always understood though....

[Tokay]

Hey, it's all cultural right. It may seem that the teacher is an ignorant dumb &lt;deleted&gt; to you and me but other TV members will just tell you it's all harmless Thai fun, or some such. I'm afraid I have no actual helpfull advice. My kids aren't of school age yet, but before thay are I plan I on leaving Thailand. Hopefully you can fix the situation with help from your wife. Good luck.

I don't find this acceptable. If his daughter were to call the teacher a mindless monkey, heads would roll. The same if she address her classmates in the same manner.

My heart goes out to this little girl. It really does. To be exposed to the ignorance and racist ways of the Thais is unhealthy for them.

Best of luck, and go for the throat. The teachers behavior is completly unacceptable.

[rixalex]

She was not thai...half Filippina and 3/4 American.

1/2 + 3/4 ???

Over your head humor...

Don't blame the audience when your joke bombs mate.

[sk1max]

This topic should just end on this:

WHY would you send your kid to a cheap thai school when you have the chance to send a third worlder to a good school in a good country and come back to his own country where she will be able to make a ton of money or educate her people?

If you cant afford it, you shouldnt of had children in the first place.. Poor kids get made fun of their whole life unless they goto a really crappy school. and if people tease her her whole life she will end up troubled. and this is all your fault

People like you make me not want to talk to expats....oops too late. Obviously talking out of you ***e! I like many others send my daughter to a Thai school, cheap never entered the equation and sending her to an expensive international school where she might have the chance of meeting twerps like you or your offspring is yet another good reason to send her to a Thai school. Not everyone sits at home with enough time to opine on others judgment, you are sir with all due respect an idiot.

[Garry9999]

Result, if I can stop the bloodshed when we both go to the school on Monday.

Are you going to let us know how things went today?

[wolf5370]

Wolf 5370,

What did you teach? Physical Education? I can barely understand you.

Na farang is not the most insensitive name I heard thais call other people.

How about the OP telling the kid why she is called that? That is because of his mixed parentage.

Oh I must appologise for making a few typos in my post; I was unaware it was going to be assessed. If you really could not understand it, then perhaps a remedial English course may suit. It gets really boring having responses from people about grammar etc who then use statements such as "How about the OP telling the kid why she is called that? That is because of his mixed parentage". Get a life man.

Oh, and no, with my teaching experience, MSc and full TEFL I can teach maths, science, computing and English, but not PE.

Edited February 1, 2010 by wolf5370

[WeeGB]

Wolf 5370,

What did you teach? Physical Education? I can barely understand you.

Na farang is not the most insensitive name I heard thais call other people.

How about the OP telling the kid why she is called that? That is because of his mixed parentage.

Oh I must appologise for making a few typos in my post; I was unaware it was going to be assessed. If you really could not understand it, then perhaps a remedial English course may suit. It gets really boring having responses from people about grammar etc who then use statements such as "How about the OP telling the kid why she is called that? That is because of his mixed parentage". Get a life man.

Oh, and no, with my teaching experience, MSc and full TEFL I can teach maths, science, computing and English, but not PE.

So you're another fatty then?

No offence intended, just couldn't stop myself.

[Livinginexile]

My heart cries for this little girl, this needs to be dealt with immediately and strongly, totally unacceptable behaviour on the part of the teacher and being in Thailand as a mixed race child is no excuse. Give her some extra love and attention at 4 years old she is both vulnerable and impressionable.

Sad story indeed!

I live in Bangkok and my 4 year old son is treated very well at his school. So much so I worry he is becoming spoilted!

The teacher allways kisses him when she sees him, I don't want him to feel "special" anywhere but at home.

Where does the OP live? are you up in Issan somewhere? There is NO WAY I would send my child to a Thai up-country public school, I love him and care for his future far too much to do that to him.

Have you resolved this disturbing issue yet?

[IanForbes]

As she is only 4 years young it's actually way too early to send to school, a bad habit here to send this littles ones to school, they should stay near the mother and family and spend time on playing and socializing with friends, not on learning. Wait with school until she is 7 if you want her to be mantally stable when she is grown up.

You said a mouthful there, ManilaLover. I agree somewhat. However, there are always different personalities, and each child is unique. I should have been held back one year and started school when I was 6 1/2 instead of starting when I was 5 years old. I would have handled the bullies much differently and probably not been bullied at all. I was fighting all my early school years and it didn't stop until I finally learned to be assertive instead of passive aggressive. As it turned out I finally grew into my size later, and became larger than the bullies I knew in my younger grades. But, all the bullying and reactions on my part had a bearing on my personality. By contrast, my 6 year old grand daughter is very mature for her age, just like her mother, and never has problems dealing with others. She's always the leader of the parade.

I agree that 4 years old is too early to start formal schooling. That is why most children start when they are about 6. The kindergarten schooling is just a preliminary for real school and should made to be fun. It's too early for formal learning and has more to do with getting along with others in a group setting.

[Mosha]

Nicknames can be so cruel. My child hood nickname was with me for 15 years, after a friend of my family said I looked like a little worm. Then as an apprentice, someone said with a nose like mine (It's big) I could be Goulda Meyer's nephew, and stuck Moshe on me. Over time I changed it to Mosha. It's still with me on several forums.

[rixalex]

Nicknames can be so cruel. My child hood nickname was with me for 15 years, after a friend of my family said I looked like a little worm. Then as an apprentice, someone said with a nose like mine (It's big) I could be Goulda Meyer's nephew, and stuck Moshe on me. Over time I changed it to Mosha. It's still with me on several forums.

Sounds like you've come to embrace it then.

[Slaps]

Nicknames can be so cruel. My child hood nickname was with me for 15 years, after a friend of my family said I looked like a little worm. Then as an apprentice, someone said with a nose like mine (It's big) I could be Goulda Meyer's nephew, and stuck Moshe on me. Over time I changed it to Mosha. It's still with me on several forums.

Sounds like you've come to embrace it then.

Mosha it is then big nose

sorry Mosha

[IanForbes]

The only way to beat a bully is to agree with whatever he/she says and take it one step further to make a joke out of it. Every time you make a joke at your own expense it takes the power away from those that want to be nasty. Pretty soon everyone is laughing and the bully loses his power to control you. I taught my son to do that from grade one and everyone liked him. My daughter tried to argue with the bullies and she had a tougher time making friends. Eventually, she learned not to let them bother her because she knew she was superior to them... which she was. When you KNOW you are the king of the hill then everyone else are just peasants and they can't hurt you.

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

I am an expectant father and have read with interest all the posts. I'm sorry. but i am reading words like "bully" and "sacked" here - to me, they seem completely Over the top.

It is very touching and hugely regrettable to read that the young lady has 'jep jai' due to the teacher's and other kids' comments and is of course very sad that any kid is ever made to feel anything other than happiness and joy.

But surely a word with the teacher to let her know that your daughter doesn't like to be called 'na farang' will result in the teacher behaving in a less ignorant fashion and your daughter being happier as a result. Might well be the teacher has never taught a 'luk krung' before and she is totally unaware that 'na farang' could have such a negative connotation with your daughter (I would go so far as to hazard a guess that it is more likely that the teacher would feel devastated to know her words have caused such anguish in the little one)

At the same time, explaining to the little lady in question why she has been called this might well help to dispel her unhappiness - after all, no kid likes to be different.

I do hope that this issue is dealt with in a manner befitting the situation... could be seen as a good opportunity for the teacher to have a cultural lesson and the daughter to learn just how special and fortunate she is. talk of booting out the teacher etc. is a ma-hussive over reaction IMO.

Best of luck to the dad, please let us know how it goes.

Cheers

Jim

[MidoriApple]

OP, how is your little girl right now? Pls come tell us about her today. I hope she has been better.

I read this since the first, but I don't have kid, don't know how to help, just my heart has been with her. Oh, dear..too soon for having this.

Positive way, she can start now being strong and confident girl, only if u help coaching her in right way. Everyone will have hard time in life, just know how to manage with it!

Well, I do really need cuddle her (if u don't mind:D), wish u and family all my best./xxx

[ronz28]

Wife and I discussed this and our impression is that Na Falang is a compliment and it implies she is a very cute girl. If other kids are a little jealous and teasing her its just because they can never be Na Falang. I believe the teacher has intended no harm based on the details provided but since your daughter feels hurt its worth a civil discussion with the teacher to see how everyone can make your daughter feel better about the teasing. I think working with the teacher to solve the problem rather than running away from it to another school would give her this character building experience now rather than putting it off as everyone learns to deal with teasing sooner or later.

[tigerfish]

The only way to beat a bully is to agree with whatever he/she says and take it one step further to make a joke out of it. Every time you make a joke at your own expense it takes the power away from those that want to be nasty. Pretty soon everyone is laughing and the bully loses his power to control you. I taught my son to do that from grade one and everyone liked him. My daughter tried to argue with the bullies and she had a tougher time making friends. Eventually, she learned not to let them bother her because she knew she was superior to them... which she was. When you KNOW you are the king of the hill then everyone else are just peasants and they can't hurt you.

sorry to disagree with you mr.forbes, but not in every case. in the school that i was educated in, the wonderful multicutural borough of brent, london. the school bullies and their mates would operate as a pack. so many times i would see the main offender pick on some poor kid for no reason what so ever. if the kid answered back with some smart reply and make the bully look a fool. he and his thug mates would then proceed to give the kid a good kicking.

i was lucky in the fact that i was big enough and streetwise enough not to get myself involved on the other end of one incidents.

you name it we had it, first year round ups and the end of term. taxing, which was a procedure that involved knocking a kids lunch money out their hand and then picking it up and keeping it. assaults on the teaching staff, interracial fights, chains, knives etc..... god forsake you if you where a indian, or of the jewish faith. "gang culture" and mentality. bus stop fights, kids getting off the bus and getting a beating for being students from the local catholic school down the road. "king of the hill types" as you put it, would be hated and picked on for being clever, because of the clothes they wore, or whey they lived, and much more.

i couldnt wait to get out of it, and travel the world too find a better place.

it doesnt matter were you go though it exists, in every school from here to tim-buk-too.

especially in a country like thailand, were the outlook on life is so blinkered, with the attitude firmly stuck in the mai-pen rai mode.

it happens, whether you be like the ops little girl who is made to feel different because of the fact her father is of farang origin, the lady kitiya because of her size or the tech kids in their white shirts and blue flares that hang around 7/11s waiting to beat the crap or slash a young lad they dont like.

it needs to be stamped out from the top down, inwards and outwards. before you are left with a schooling system in a country like mine that i dearly love but no longer wish to live in anymore.

signed a very concerned father, of a 7 month old little girl of mix race parentage, with light skin, blue eyes and blond hair.

[Pakboong]

....whether you be like the ops little girl who is made to feel different because of the fact her father is of farang origin, ....

A bigger part of her situation is simply that she is not being made to feel different, she is in fact different. Kids of mixed race have always had to overcome a bit of difficulty and likely always will. It has only been the last 40 years or so that we as a planet have started to deal with the issues of mixed race and the jury is still out. Anyone bringing a child into the world should be prepared well in advance to deal with these social matters without exploding each time they occur. Each mixed race child will adapt at a different rate and it is up to us to pave the way with the understanding that pot holes do occur.

Edited February 2, 2010 by Pakboong