Well, chin up ol mate...

One thing i can say for sure is you definately arent the only one. I would hazard a guess that all of us single farang blokes have felt the same way from our relative lives of isolation in BK.

Actually all of what you've said sounds strangely familiar to me and im starting to wonder if theres a certain common profile in all of us single guys who are drawn to life in BK for whatever reason.

I must say i am constantly going through those same thoughts and stages while in BK.

Somehow or other i find myself eventually turning a whole circle and will wind up nuetral again,if that makes any sense..or maybe better described as becoming dull to all the things that once bothered me enough for a shard of happiness to shine through. And i reckon thats a lot more than i would be able to achieve at home.

No doubt you're finding it all the more hard with the breakup at the moment, but in time i reckon you will either find that inner peace in your own company again and realize how lucky you are to be single, and free of certain hassles, OR life will throw something back at your feet to keep you interested for a bit longer. It always happens that way.

One thing is for sure, a fellas gotta be pretty tough in the first place to have left all whats familiar for an existance where you're always gonna be an outsider, BUT at the same time its these very feelings that can make you feel proud to be an individual AND above all, proud to be a survivor. I think theres a certain amount of pride and satisfaction to be had just in that alone.

Anyway im sure others would agree that you've prooved yourself to be an intelligent poster in the past, even if we dont always agree, and there are those who read your posts occasionally to brighten up there own dark days.Me same same.

If its any consellation to you, im In Aus at the moment and feeling pretty dam_n miserable about it, and as for being lonely in LOS id be glad to round up a few guys and meet you for a lager in a few months when im back that way...

but by then im suspecting you'll be back to normal and have got the mongrel back in you and most probably tell me to get nick€d...

Thanks, it does actually feel better thinking others might go through what Im going through. Honestly I feel like Im some bizarre creature that lives in Bangkok and finds it the loneliest place on earth. Most men would shake their head at me in wonder and not understand one bit. Try to pour a drink down my throat and buy me a ho thinking that is all I need.... I neither drink nor ho......pretty much the entire reason I have no male friends here.

I neither drink nor ho......pretty much the entire reason I have no male friends here.

It's even worse if you don't play pool or enjoy watching sport on TV.

8>< SNIP ><8

I neither drink nor ho......pretty much the entire reason I have no male friends here.

I don't skydive or do macrame; probably the main reason I don't know many nice Thai girls.

Consider basing your life on things you do, instead of things you don't.

Do other people ever do those things? Try talking to someone that you see doing any of those things (assuming you are not a practising bank robber... not a good opportunity to strike up casual convesation there, although I suppose you could offer to help...its always appreciated).

I was going to suggest getting together for a cheery-up pint, but I guess not,...

SC

Thats sweet Laughing man, but dont sweat it. Certainly dont let it get you down. Sometimes i give a smile and its not reciprocated but i dont have expectations of having the smile returned, so its no big deal if im ignored. If I were ever to be scowled at ..which ive come close to lol (some guys really do have a large chip on their shoulders lol)..then yeh, thats a bit more of an "ow", but its soon forgotten.

Really, what you did was no big deal, dont be down on yourself.

Hows about this one.. Recently I was struggling to get my scooter out of a tight parking spot. Bikes to my side and my back. My geometry is awful so i find it hard to know where to swivel my bike to get out. A 20 something western guy just stood watching me getting impatient to get his bike out. I moved forward and he went past me to the back to get his bike..then sat waiting and staring and looking annoyed as i struggled more. A Thai man (probably around 50's) saw me and came to help by grabbing the back of my bike and swiveling it around to make it easy for me to get out. Now that i was more out of the way, my friend who was waiting for me told the fed up and annoyed looking young farang to go ahead as he could pass now. He just nodded and drove past. This was a young guy, a young fit guy, and he let a woman struggle whilst he sat on his bum doing the whole annoyed act whilst a much older Thai man came to help. Honestly..now THATS what you call inconsiderate behaviour, not what you did. Some people just have no manners at all.

I have been around struggling women too before and did nothing to help. In some ways I feel bad but in other ways I feel like a sucker if I go out of my way to help. I feel that the girl thinks the guy is trying to flirt by helping out, then the guy just looks like a desperate idiot.

Nope, I get men offer to help me and I don't think he's hitting on me. I think he's a nice man with good manners. When I see someone struggling, I offer help, doesn't matter if its a man or a woman. Good manners is good manners.

Nope, I get men offer to help me and I don't think he's hitting on me. I think he's a nice man with good manners. When I see someone struggling, I offer help, doesn't matter if its a man or a woman. Good manners is good manners.

Hear, Hear!

Remember, we're not Thai (except for some of us, for whom this is not relevant), and we have our own standards. If we can't maintain them, then we have no standards. In order to avoid offending our hosts, we should behave within their tolerances as well, but that is no excuse for sacrificing your own standards.

SC

I smiled at a man yesterday. I have no idea why. I was walking along the street, happy as larry, giving a little smile to all the ladies as we passed, and I just couldn't stop smiling. That's spring time for you, eh?

sounds like laughingman could do with a boys night out.Talking to others is the best therapy and you will find you are not alone with your feelings.SBK mentioned the crossybar on sukhumvit,could try that.At weekends,if you've nothing to do why not try a few side trips within easy reach,like ayutthaya or kwai bridge,having a 2 day break from BKK might be refreshing.

Getting over the loss of someone you love is not easy and there's no quick fix.Time is the great leveller and you will know when that time is up cos you will find things hapening for you and it is usually when you meet someone else and life begins to look good again.In the meantime try and meet other people to talk to,that is a grat therapy.

Edited February 16, 201016 yr by samuibeachcomber

I neither drink nor ho......pretty much the entire reason I have no male friends here.

It's even worse if you don't play pool or enjoy watching sport on TV.

I don't do those things either!

Samuibeachcomber, I know time will fix me, I've been through this before and found happiness again, its just when you are in the process of going through it.... it feels like you will never find it again. And work doesnt allow me to get out of the city much. But ya I desperately need a vacation.

Edited February 16, 201016 yr by TheLaughingMan

Go on let your hair down

HUG

You might actually find that you like it.

Sorry, but i am a hugging femi nazi

Edited February 16, 201016 yr by Patsycat

Nope, I get men offer to help me and I don't think he's hitting on me. I think he's a nice man with good manners. When I see someone struggling, I offer help, doesn't matter if its a man or a woman. Good manners is good manners.

Absolutely!

--

Laughing Man, im not much of a social bunny myself. My friends often have to drag me out..haha! But, i do have a good time when i do go out though. As another poster suggested, think about the things you do like to do. Bkk must have a lot of different social groups, im sure there would be something that could interest you. Then, when you meet like minded people, other things start to follow. A social group can even just be once a week, especially if you have little time. ..but getting together with others who have a shared interest, may be a good first step.

Nope, I get men offer to help me and I don't think he's hitting on me. I think he's a nice man with good manners. When I see someone struggling, I offer help, doesn't matter if its a man or a woman. Good manners is good manners.

ha ha, reminds me of a time last year when there were three of us struggling on a not very powerful bike going over the had rin hills. An older Thai guy stopped and asked if one of us wanted a lift. My friend got on with him and I started waxing lyrical about how nice it was to live somewhere where people stopped to help other people out. It was only when we all met up again at our destination that my friend mentioned he had tried to grope her the whole way...doh!

But seriously people do help you out here. I have had to get rid of a ridiculous pride issue to let them though most of the time. I am so used to the idea that you have to be self sufficient, as you do in London, that I feel letting people help me makes me look weak in someway...silly I know but I am trying to rid myself of it..

good for you mssabai.