Am I Getting Culture Shock?

[HalfSquat]

I read in a book a while ago that culture shock happens to most people when they come to Thailand. For some it can happen quickly and for others it can take a while.

I've been here (Bangkok) about six months and after loving it at first it has recently started to get on my wick.

I don't want to go home yet and am hoping it will pass.

I think it was triggered by a recent holiday to another city which I thought was very nice, modern and clean. Since coming back, Bangkok hasn't looked so great and little things like the heat, shop assistants, the dirt and the smell, the price of things I need (apart from food) being high, people not holding doors etc, are starting to annoy me. Also my in-aptitude for learning the language isn't helping either!

Has this happened to anyone else and how did you get over/past it?

Thanks.

[Jdietz]

I think it's culture shock wearing off...

[ProfessorFart]

Bangkok can have that affect on people, especialy if you get out of it for a while and then return.

It doesn't sound like Culture Shock to me, not after 6 months.

I love Bangkok and the wealth of experiences it offers. For me its the best of all worlds. I get grumpy when I'm away from here for more than a week.

[bkkjames]

It's a natural thing mate. Go spend a few days in Singapore - preferably on business. Whilst organised and efficient, the overuse of 3 letter abbreviations MNC, WIP, KPI, FMCG, FUC, OFF blah blah blah in general conversation will have you itching to climb on board your nearest Singapore Girl for that flight back to LOS double time.

[toptuan]

Yes, no doubt that it's culture shock. But you're having Bangkok culture shock, not Thailand culture shock. I develop the same symptoms whenever I visit your city.

Suggest a change of location outside the unwashed city masses climbing all over each other to make a baht.

The rest of Thailand isn't perfect by a long shot, but IMO, it's a whole lot better.

Even friendlier Thais can better encourage your try at the language.

Edited February 11, 2010 by toptuan

[Soutpeel]

A good friend of mine who has lived here for nearly 24 years told me the following the first day I arrived here.....Within 6 months of living in Thailand you will either hate the place and leave or want stay for ever. I have managed 8 years and understand what you are getting at

I go through phases of really hating the place and thinking f*kc this and pack up and move somewhere else, it generally passes... My usual thing to do when I get like this is go on holiday somewhere away from Thailand...

For me personally, think once the job is finished here, when ever that may be, I will be looking at moving somewhere else

[tonititan]

I wish I had it with me, but at work I have an article about the stages of acclimation for an expat (not just in Thailand, but anywhere). I have found it to be very accurate and shows that many (most?) people go through a stage like yours at some point. I think it's a cycle, and you may soon find yourself accepting it here, if not loving it.

[SeanMoran]

I've yearned to get back here for just over three years, and finally got back with a mental suitcase full of fond memories and hopes and dreams on December 1st.

Now it's mid-February and 'culture shock' is in full-swing in that mental suitcase, torching those hopes, and some of the memories, and I can only imagine how much more I'd have been hit by it if I was back in Bangkok, rather than here halfway between rural paradise and the big smoke - Ban Chang.

It almost seems like good fortune that it might not last much longer now, but I can relate to this side-effect of reality, and can only recommend you find a decent sheila to translate by day and soothe your pain overnight, if you haven't already.

[phetaroi]

There are those days...for sure.

But, at least for me, most days are pleasant if not fun. In my first 9 months here I haven't had a single "bad" thing happen, although I know sooner or later something will...but then again, over time, bad things happen back in the states. There are occasional days I'm bored, but that would happen back in the States, too.

In all my trips before retiring here, I found that the first 3-5 days I would think, "Why did I used to like this place?" And then, about the 4th day, something would click and I'd be back into it.

In balance...so far...good decision to retire here.

[Tywais]

A couple of papers to look over:

Culture Shock (.doc)

The Culture Shock Cycle (.pdf)

[bina]

tywais got there before me..

theres a curve for people in cultures not similar to their own (and sometimes its worse in a culture that is similar but the small differences make for sneaky culture shock.) here poeple moving here go through a seminar about adjustment stages and culture shock and usually have people sort of 'nanny' them through the first year or so...

the first few months (6) u are getting used to new sites sounds smells and exotic things; the next six or so, u are trying to acclimate to the realities under the exotic 'travel' feel; sometimes there is even real depression and homesickness and ujust want to put on your favorite rockn roll discs or eat only american hamburgers, twinkies and cola, or talk in your homecountry slang and have people respond accordingly.

if u can 'go with the flow', i.e. dont fight it, it tends to go away on its own as u find a middle path between your own cultural needs (pizza once a week, a farang movie sometimes, or whatever) and the realities of what is around u (mostly thai food, crowded /rude/dirty or whatever) then u move in to the next stage. at some point u may even hate the place and that is when poeple pack up and go back. but some folks stick with it, find the ways to relax and deal with the stress of new language, food, (did u ever notice that when u speak a foreign language u are more tired,and your face hurts more?) writing checks/waiting in lines/bus ticket things... u start to adjust.

sometimes u feel it more after a home visit. then u get counter culture shock!!

and sometimes u ahve to just know that its time to leave.

fond memories and hopes and dreams

this is usually the biggest problem as reality doesnt meet what u thought. its like waking up in the morning and seeing the 'guy of your dreams' is actually acne'd, ugly, and smells. but then two days later u see that he is charming and sweet /or not. this can make or break your feeling about the place.

it also has to do with what your expectations were/are; how they are working out/ and even daily pressure adjustments like do u make ends meet, do u have friends (thanks to facebook/icq/messenger, life is less lonely whenu are in a new country, thin back to the old days before cell phones?!!) my great fear was giving birth in a 'foreign country' (second world at that) or going to a 'normal' doctor.

it has nothing to do with thailand or bangkok, just everything to do with how flexible u are, how rigid your expectations are, and whether u can ride it all out til the next wave. after a few years it happens less, although i can say, i have lived in this country for 30! yrs now, and very sneakily occassionaly i have a rush of culture shock. for about five minutes. if i ever get to live inthailand with thai husband we will see how i will deal.

as it is, my hsuband is the one with horrible culture shock, and he doesnt really have the tools psychologically or intellectually to understand or deal , so he has a difficult time here. only now fter 6! yrs is he speaking the language a bit, and mentally adjusting to our society here, and less of the 'in thailand blablablab took arai dee mak mak...

good luck

bina

[likewise]

After 10+ years here I am quite keen on going on holidays to other countries, preferably not 3rd world.

Usually when getting back from a trip I see Thailand as a quite dirty place but always happy to be back too.

[toptuan]

it has nothing to do with thailand or bangkok, just everything to do with how flexible u are, how rigid your expectations are, and whether u can ride it all out til the next wave.

You said it all, right there!

[givenall]

it has nothing to do with thailand or bangkok, just everything to do with how flexible u are, how rigid your expectations are, and whether u can ride it all out til the next wave.

You said it all, right there!

After figuring out that why you are here in the first place, then you can make a better decision to stay or go.

Thailand /Bangkok by itself is not a good reason to stay or go, it is why I want to stay that keeps me here. loved on, weather, food, etc……..

[canuckamuck]

To the OP, Bangkok sucks, you are just a slow learner.

The rest of the country is better, in varying degrees.

[anothertorres]

beatin a dead horse here, but... you gotta get out of Bangkok.

[JetsetBkk]

beatin a dead horse here, but... you gotta get out of Bangkok.

Yep. Did that after a year. Looking back, amazed I took it for so long.

[IMA_FARANG]

Let's face it. Thailand/Bangkok is a place some people like, and some people hate. If you insist on being a foriegner in Thailand, and setting your mind to a "Farang" attitute as your standard, you will probably never be happy in Thailand or certainly in Bangkok. Yes, Bangkok can be dirty, noisey, crowded, etc. but that is not all of the city. If you limit your exposure to Bangkok in those Farang ghettos (like Sukhumvit road, for example) that is what you will percieve Bangkok to be. I used to live on Sukhumvit Soi 38. The point where Soi 38 met Sukhumvit was noisy, crowded, with a lot of traffic and fumes from the traffic...not a good spot to be. If you walked 150 meters down the Soi, it all changed. There were trees, birds sang, and the situation improved by 100% from the start of the Soi. So, that's the Bangkok I know and remember.

Now I live out by Don Muang. Within walking distance there are half a dozen small shops where I can get a good bowl of noodles, soup, or fried rice. There is an internet cafe within 200 meters of my house. There is a Wat not that far away, and in the mornings I can hear the gongs and chimes that start the day for the monks. If I want a cool drink or a beer there is a Thai woman who sells them within 30 meters of my front door. Every day someone walks through the housing compound selling kanoom or some fresh fruit. I have internet access from my house, and cable so I can watch the news (CNN, BBC, and the discovery/history channels). My bedroom is air-conditioned to avoid the really hot months, and I have fans to move the air around whenever I like.

I guess my point is, it's what you get used to and become comfortable with. Thailand has become my home, and I have a Thai family there. No it's not perfect, but it will do for me.

[DP25]

If Precious is upset people don't hold the doors open for him and those rude shop clerks can't speak English, he could hire someone to follow him around all day, opening doors, asking the shop clerks how much, and carrying his things.

[nisakiman]

As a serial expat, I think what bina says about it sums it up.

Wherever you are, you must adapt to the prevailing culture. That doesn't necessarily mean adopting it lock, stock and barrel, but at least trying to understand it and live with it.

Learning the basics, at least, of the language helps enormously, not just insofar as you can communicate better, but also it engenders respect from the indigenous people you are dealing with, and perhaps more importantly helps you to understand the culture in which you are living. Because language isn't just about vocabulary. It's about the way people express themselves, and this differs a lot from country to country. And within the root of the language lies the heart of the culture.

Sure, there will be things that drive you crazy. But for the natural expat, the fact that there are things that drive you crazy are just part of the equation. And that applies equally to your country of origin, maybe more so. Why else would you be an expat?

Roll with it, and you'll be ok. Fight it, and you'll always have problems. It's like the old saw about the Oak and the reed. The reed bends with the wind and lives to grow another day. The mighty unbending oak eventually gets blown over...

[kikoman]

Going on ten years Now, I love Thailand, hate Bangkok only go there for Embassy visits. Thinking about taking the extra distance to get my documents signed in Chiang Mai, and do some shopping.

To me your problem may be residing in Bangkok !

Cheers

[Birdman]

25 years here, had sometimes strange, almost depressing feelings in the first 2 years in Bangkok, moved away to the South and feel great since then.

[chiang mai]

I think anywhere can get old after enough time, for me, variety is the spice of life so being in a number of different places, each for a period of time and then returning to Thailand afterwards, makes the place a lot more palatable.

[Nouie]

I believe that visiting many different places is the best way to adjust.

You may find that you like one part of Thailand more than the other ^^

It's safe to say that pretty much applies with any country. Shouldn't really dislike a country simply because you've only stayed at one place.

(I know staying at the same place can wear in quite quickly, especially if the culture is different to yours in a negative way)

Take in the sights, take in the people, take in the customs from all the parts of a country to truely experience a culture shock!~

Edited February 13, 2010 by Nouie

[eggomaniac]

It's a matter of unintelligence to want to stay too long in any big city, but especially filthy, polluted ones.

My little girl and I got in the habit of walking around the grates, you know the ones, with raw sewage and a stench rising from them. Then you notice fairly upscale restraunts that put some of their tables right on top of them, yecchh.... and the happy couple enjoying there repast with toilet waste streaming under their feet....

Then you get out into the clean country side, oh it;s not clean,,, garbage dumped in ditches and yard that look like garbage dumps... and that constant smell of burining plastic, what's up with that???

If Ko Chang wants to charge Western rates for rooms, they should at least do a form Clean Up committee. National Park? my arse... is cleaner

[Travel2003]

The excitement and novelty by living in a new and exotic place has worn off.

This is natural.

When this happens, we will automatically start looking at the place with a bit more critical eyes (more scrutinizing).

Its very hard to get rid of the new feeling about the place one developes.

Especially if it is negative, and you compare it to another place which seems nicer/better.

Does the OP like to live in a city, or in a small place (or beach areas)?

This is a very criticial question/decission OP must take.

Me, I like to live in a city, and I know if my life get a bit to routine like, a city will always have some more to offer if one is willing to explore more of the possibilities.

[Travel2003]

It's a matter of unintelligence to want to stay too long in any big city, but especially filthy, polluted ones.

My little girl and I got in the habit of walking around the grates, you know the ones, with raw sewage and a stench rising from them. Then you notice fairly upscale restraunts that put some of their tables right on top of them, yecchh.... and the happy couple enjoying there repast with toilet waste streaming under their feet....

Then you get out into the clean country side, oh it;s not clean,,, garbage dumped in ditches and yard that look like garbage dumps... and that constant smell of burining plastic, what's up with that???

If Ko Chang wants to charge Western rates for rooms, they should at least do a form Clean Up committee. National Park? my arse... is cleaner

Let me see if I got this right, and please correct me if I didnt.

You insult all people that like to live in a city, by stating they are unintelligent.

You enjoy walking with your little girl (your daughter I pressume) in areas where raw sewage runs.

But the countryside is also a garbage dump.

And finally, the unfairness of too high prices for the rooms in Kho Chang.

Did I get right?

[mizzi39]

It has been three years for me. 1 year in Bangkok and 2 years in the sticks. I think as another poster stated the culture shock is wearing off OP. I guess living in a "foreign" place can become a bit frustrating at times. getting away from your immediate surroundings helps. Being in bangkok day in and day out can be a drag, I lived it. Being in the sticks day in and day out can also be a drag as I am living it now. Having a wife and child keeps me occupied enough though. Change things up a bit, as there is a lot of nice places to visit in this, as well as surrounding countries. You only live once.

[Gaccha]

If you love your country of which you are a citizen then you are likely to suffer greater culture shock.

On the other hand, having lived most of my adult life in Asia when returning to the UK I suffer great "reverse culture shock" (this is the academic name for it) and can't stand the place, it feels so dull, the people so vacuous, so little to do, such lack of ambition among them ( I don't mean a desire to get promotion at work, I mean to find 'life'), an extraordinary desire by them to follow the socio-normative regime of the mortgaged house, the 2.1 children, the little mowed lawn, in a state of utter docility.

I came to Thailand with no high, I suffered precisely no culture shock. It feels the same as the day I arrived. I appreciate for those of you retiring here (much, much older than me) who have never lived abroad this must be quite an experience, when the most exciting thing you have previously done was to mow your lawn.

[PeaceBlondie]

I was born in Chicago and finished in Houston. Never lived in BKK. If you like BKK, enjoy it. Now I'm retired at the edge on a 200-years old village outside of San Hamphaeng. I could have lived in lots of places. Attitude matters.