Cousins

[goodguy]

Sometimes the cousins make a pain of themselves coming up with plans for my wife to participate in/with. Usually it is some big favour, like drive a few hundred KM to taxi some derelict relative. She refuses and they lay guilt trips on her. She tells me she wished she had no contact with any cousins at all. Most family members have put in requests to her ranging from buying her brother a car, a cousin a computer, bizarre car rides to name a few. Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

Edited May 27, 2005 by goodguy

[jackr]

Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

Because her husband is a farang in large part. Move to the other end of the country and change sim cards, or at the very least tell her to tell them to piss off! .

[bannork]

Sometimes the cousins make a pain of themselves coming up with plans for my wife to participate in/with.  Usually it is some big favour, like drive a few hundred KM to taxi some derelict relative.  She refuses and they lay guilt trips on her.  She tells me she wished she had no contact with any cousins at all.  Most family members have put in requests to her ranging from buying her brother a car, a cousin a computer, bizarre car rides to name a few.  Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Change your avator from 'good guy' to 'stingy guy', farang khee neeow -and the requests will cease; of course your wife may cease to play her role too, but that's a risk you must take.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Because her husband is a farang in large part. Move to the other end of the country and change sim cards, or at the very least tell her to tell them to piss off! .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Seconded

[Thetyim]

I sympathise with you.

I had the same problem of having to support the entire family.

I was pleased when the sister-in-law married another falang.

I then found myself supporting the falang as well.

I am now divorced.

[thymode91]

I sympathise with you.

I had the same problem of having to support the entire family.

I was pleased when the sister-in-law married another falang.

I then found myself supporting the falang as well.

I am now divorced.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[goodguy]

Sometimes the cousins make a pain of themselves coming up with plans for my wife to participate in/with.  Usually it is some big favour, like drive a few hundred KM to taxi some derelict relative.  She refuses and they lay guilt trips on her.  She tells me she wished she had no contact with any cousins at all.  Most family members have put in requests to her ranging from buying her brother a car, a cousin a computer, bizarre car rides to name a few.  Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Change your avator from 'good guy' to 'stingy guy', farang khee neeow -and the requests will cease; of course your wife may cease to play her role too, but that's a risk you must take.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How will changing my avatar help my wife? Maybe you could change your avatar from Bannork to Farang Kon Baa.....

[snoophound]

Hmm

I think any Thai who makes it good,and has some visible wealth becomes a target for the not so wealthy relations.

Sure Thais imagine falangs are wealthy and if a relly marries one she will be wealthy thus a source of loans,investments etc.

We try to help but wont give cash!!!

We bought two tuktuks for some family in Ayuthya..they work for a living paid us back and have now bought two more.

Sometimes the cousins make a pain of themselves coming up with plans for my wife to participate in/with.  Usually it is some big favour, like drive a few hundred KM to taxi some derelict relative.  She refuses and they lay guilt trips on her.  She tells me she wished she had no contact with any cousins at all.  Most family members have put in requests to her ranging from buying her brother a car, a cousin a computer, bizarre car rides to name a few.  Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Change your avator from 'good guy' to 'stingy guy', farang khee neeow -and the requests will cease; of course your wife may cease to play her role too, but that's a risk you must take.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How will changing my avatar help my wife? Maybe you could change your avatar from Bannork to Farang Kon Baa.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[bannork]

Sometimes the cousins make a pain of themselves coming up with plans for my wife to participate in/with.  Usually it is some big favour, like drive a few hundred KM to taxi some derelict relative.  She refuses and they lay guilt trips on her.  She tells me she wished she had no contact with any cousins at all.  Most family members have put in requests to her ranging from buying her brother a car, a cousin a computer, bizarre car rides to name a few.  Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Change your avator from 'good guy' to 'stingy guy', farang khee neeow -and the requests will cease; of course your wife may cease to play her role too, but that's a risk you must take.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How will changing my avatar help my wife? Maybe you could change your avatar from Bannork to Farang Kon Baa.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I never said it would help your wife, I implied your wife may leave you for greener pastures if she can't resist the pressure.and you really hold out.

You call yourself good guy, in Thailand a good guy helps his less fortunate relatives,(cousins, in your wife's english). The requests to your wife will not go away until they realise the money is not coming; you must either prove you have no money by getting a job in the local school as a primary school teacher or put your foot down, and as the anti- drug campaign says : 'just say NO'!

I apologise for my bluntness but,as I think you know, you have to nip this in the bud. Calling yourself goodguy does rather set you up.

[Belfastboy]

this another BIG concern of mine when we move to thailand....every time we go on holiday ...these "cousins" suddenly spring out of the woodwork.....

i dont exactly know if they ask for money but i ###### as sure know my wifes sister and parents put pressure on her, not directly but by comments on how poor her cousins are...etc etc....we always leave a few thousand baht for them when leaving thailand....but what really pisses us BOTH off is that when we do give money it is never enough..."stingy" in my sister in laws words.....makes me so bloody angry...!!

this in turn has my wife in tears and the whole guilt trip starts.......

i understand that they are poor....and we are better off...but we have put our foot down big time!

when my wifes parents where over in farangland staying with us for 6months!!! we were expected to pay for everything....food travel..!!!!! so i said &lt;deleted&gt; this....

we work hard as ######...and i asked the simple question ...why is is when im in bkk im expected to pay for petrol...! food bills...no one pays for me...

i'll tell u this...the wee sister was far more irritating that the parents....she always slipping on expensive food onto the list..." because she is the younger,my wife is expecte to pay for her" ...!!! why ??? i ask....

anyhow....i fear this when we move....but we have put a foot down and i would advise all people in similar positions to do likewise...before the rot sets in....

[mpdkorat]

Why do extended family believe she owes them a living?

Good guy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Because her husband is a farang in large part. Move to the other end of the country and change sim cards, or at the very least tell her to tell them to piss off! .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Seconded

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thirded! its the only way to go.

[bannork]

'The footdown stomp', a hard driving blues number by a new band, 'Issan ATM 'with a scorching George Thorogood\ Rory Gallagher bottleneck solo halfway through. The passion and bitterness felt by these well meaning and easy going guys, prematurely aged and disabled as limitless and endless demands by greedy and voracious in-laws have left their right arms withered and useless from constantly reaching into their pockets to extract their wallets, burns itself through this pirate VCD.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Teach 'em the NO word

[Gary A]

This thread is justification for a monthly allowance for your wife. I give my girlfriend 5,000 baht per month spending money. What she does with it is up to her. If she wants to give it away, "UP TO HER". That takes the burden off me because I don't give any of them anything.

What does she do with the 5000 baht? Actually she is tighter than the bark on a tree and most of that 5000 goes in her bank account. She is anxious this month for her allowance because this month will put her over the 100,000 mark.

[Heng]

I sympathise with you.

I had the same problem of having to support the entire family.

I was pleased when the sister-in-law married another falang.

I then found myself supporting the falang as well.

I am now divorced.

ROFLMAO!!!

[Nam Kao]

Tell the Vultures nicely - me small money, cannot help

They ask again tell them "GET ####ED!!!"

Works for me

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I sympathise with you.

I had the same problem of having to support the entire family.

I was pleased when the sister-in-law married another falang.

I then found myself supporting the falang as well.

I am now divorced.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

All's well that ends well

[daleyboy]

What you need is short arms and long pockets