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Posted

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." —John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." —General George S. Patton

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." —David Letterman

"After an exhaustive investigation, the Defense Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be dead. Hey, France, thanks a lot. We'll take it from here. Hard to believe they were invaded twice." —Jay Leno

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I don't want to appear insensitive, but here in UK today we are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar.

I believe it was there that Nelson and the Royal Navy kicked seven bells of sh*t out of the French.

:o

Posted
I don't want to appear insensitive, but here in UK today we are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar.

I believe it was there that Nelson and the Royal Navy kicked seven bells of sh*t out of the French.

:o

Didn't the French want us to rename Trafalgar Square - or was it Waterloo Station? - because it upsets them to be reminded of (yet another) .... http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

Posted

AN AMERICAN tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and

explore the city on his own.

He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at

a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and

have a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class area...big,

stately residences... no pubs, no shops, no restaurants, and worst

of all...

NO PUBLIC TOILETS. He really, really has to go, after all those

pints of Guinness.

He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the

adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his

problem. As he is

unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobbie, who

says,

"I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but! t I really,

really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."

"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie, "Just follow me".

He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a

gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the Bobbie. "Whiz away SIR, anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he

has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains,

sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly

relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobbie "That was

really decent of you... is that what you call "British Hospitality?"

"No sir", replied the Bobbie,

"that is what we call the

French Embassy."

Posted
I don't want to appear insensitive, but here in UK today we are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar.

I believe it was there that Nelson and the Royal Navy kicked seven bells of sh*t out of the French.

:o

I don't want to appear insensitive, but here in UK today we are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar.

I believe it was there that Nelson and the Royal Navy kicked seven bells of sh*t out of the French.

:D

Didn't the French want us to rename Trafalgar Square - or was it Waterloo Station? - because it upsets them to be reminded of (yet another) .... http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

If it had not been for a poor Norfolk boy we would all be speaking french today (us Brits I mean).

Posted
AN AMERICAN tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and

explore the city on his own.

He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at

a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and

have a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class area...big,

stately residences... no pubs, no shops, no restaurants, and worst

of all...

NO PUBLIC TOILETS. He really, really has to go, after all those

pints of Guinness.

He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the

adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his

problem. As he is

unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobbie, who

says,

"I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but! t I really,

really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."

"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie, "Just follow me".

He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a

gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the Bobbie. "Whiz away SIR, anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he

has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains,

sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly

relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobbie "That was

really decent of you... is that what you call "British Hospitality?"

"No sir", replied the Bobbie,

"that is what we call the

French Embassy."

:o:D

Posted

It seems that the French have not taken too kindly to London beating Paris for the Olympics.

The day following the announcements, many French newspapers carried articles complaining that London had 'cheated'.

Hmm, takes one to know one?

:o:D

Posted
I don't want to appear insensitive, but here in UK today we are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar.

I believe it was there that Nelson and the Royal Navy kicked seven bells of sh*t out of the French.

:o

I don't want to appear insensitive, but here in UK today we are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar.

I believe it was there that Nelson and the Royal Navy kicked seven bells of sh*t out of the French.

:D

Didn't the French want us to rename Trafalgar Square - or was it Waterloo Station? - because it upsets them to be reminded of (yet another) .... http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

If it had not been for a poor Norfolk boy we would all be speaking french today (us Brits I mean).

I hate to admit it, but if it wasn't for the English a large part of Australia would be speaking French. They got there first is some areas, but forgot to put up the flag!

Posted

TERROR ALERT IN FRANCE

Paris, July 15, 2005- AP and UPI reported that the French government

has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE on their four

level danger scale. The two higher French danger levels are

COLLABORATE and SURRENDER.

According to informed sources, the rise was precipitated by a

suspicious fire yesterday which destroyed France's white flag

factory, effectively paralyzing its military. In light of the recent

attacks in London, it is widely anticipated that the terror alert

will be elevated to the third

level before the weekend.

Posted
TERROR alert IN FRANCE

Paris, July 15, 2005- AP and UPI reported that the French government

has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE on their four

level danger scale.  The two higher French danger levels are

COLLABORATE and SURRENDER.

According to informed sources, the rise was precipitated by a

suspicious fire yesterday which destroyed France's white flag

factory, effectively paralyzing its military. In light of the recent

attacks in London, it is widely anticipated that the terror alert

will be elevated to the third

level before the weekend.

:o:D

Posted

As a few others have already said what a great thread... :D

I just can't believe there are not any Frenchies on TV to defend themselves and their country.

.. But as I think more I guess that is what this is thread is all about.

:o

Posted

I just can't believe there are not any Frenchies on TV to defend themselves and their country.

Let’s give them another chance! :ofrench_soldierofsurrender.jpg

Posted
TERROR ALERT IN FRANCE

Paris, July 15, 2005- AP and UPI reported that the French government

has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE on their four

level danger scale.  The two higher French danger levels are

COLLABORATE and SURRENDER.

According to informed sources, the rise was precipitated by a

suspicious fire yesterday which destroyed France's white flag

factory, effectively paralyzing its military. In light of the recent

attacks in London, it is widely anticipated that the terror alert

will be elevated to the third

level before the weekend.

Now that's funny. I love it Alvino. Cheers :o:D

Posted

Hey, Pierre, how do we say 'aileron' in French?

We say 'aileron' -- we invented it!

Ok, so how the fuggin' thing work?

oops_f5.jpg[/img]

(This thread is designed for infinity.....)

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