daleyboy Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 It was not a put down as it would be in the west. Nail is hit on the head. It's difficult but it's what we have to tell ourselves and it's US that has to lose face in some ways. Like I've already stated - political correctness is something that doesn't really exist here and perhaps the reason you get upset for being called fat is because you're not used to this brand of honesty. But would you really trade that for the PC madness we have back home? No I certainly wouldnt! I fell less of a foriegner here than I do back home in the UK! So whats the poblem then? If you like the Los so much more than the U.K you should stop complaining about the Thais and get on with life, remember you are in their country and they arent the same as westeners, you either have to accept and respect that or go back to the U.K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryHacker Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 The current Ms Harry calls me fat all the time, do I care? Nope. Once a stranger, walking past me told her friend I looked like Mr KFC! Shook me but, hey who cares, chill out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Boy, this is a major case of cultural misunderstanding.Conversation wise, for a Thai to comment directly on someone’s weight is the equivalent of talking about the weather. My Thai friends and relatives have no problem in telling me if I have gained/lost weight. It’s only an observation, and not meant to be offensive. Remember, Thai’s a big time into Kreng Jai, and keeping up appearances. They won’t admit that prostitution is rife, that Thaksin’s and idiot or anything else what would mean that someone would lose face. As such, you should recognise that commenting on weight is not meant to be offensive, and hence, shouldn’t be taken as such. This is all that deserves to be left of this thread, because it is 100% true. Once you realize it isn't at all to hurt you, it's actually a nice feeling. If the OP (Troll or not, who knows) had told the woman at the restaurant (with an honest smile): 'You are also very very fat', she would most likely have laughed. It is even possible her comment was a way for her to make a playful pass at you. If you can or will not appreciate this part of Thai culture, you are totally in the wrong place. Calling somebody ugly or old with a face that radiates "I am hurt, piissed off and going to kick your arse" is very different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daleyboy Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 mmmmm me thinks the op lives under a bridege somewhere!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossBones Posted June 2, 2005 Author Share Posted June 2, 2005 It was not a put down as it would be in the west. Nail is hit on the head. It's difficult but it's what we have to tell ourselves and it's US that has to lose face in some ways. Like I've already stated - political correctness is something that doesn't really exist here and perhaps the reason you get upset for being called fat is because you're not used to this brand of honesty. But would you really trade that for the PC madness we have back home? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No I certainly wouldnt! I fell less of a foriegner here than I do back home in the UK! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> So whats the poblem then? If you like the Los so much more than the U.K you should stop complaining about the Thais and get on with life, remember you are in their country and they arent the same as westeners, you either have to accept and respect that or go back to the U.K <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I run a good business here my friend, I am not going anywhere. Its not for the love of the country that I stay here anymore. In the same way as economic immigrants in the UK dont I suppose. At least I came here with good intentions. I try to avoid face to face confrontation, but being called a monkey, fat falang etc by people I don't even know pushes me to boiling point sometimes. This idea that Thai culture is about smiling and avoiding confrontation is nonsense. The famous Thai smile - They are laughing at us, I think you can see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvanLaw Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I am not scared of Thais. I usually find displaying arrogance but keeping quiet at the right time gets me out of trouble (touch wood eh). I hope when you "touch wood", it is 4x2 You will need something if you do not accept “Thai Way” If you talk to people this way you will most certainly need it. My time in Thailand with my wife's relatives and friends was a real shock. Took me a long time to realise when they said I look like "Happy Buda" they where not being unkind or offensive about my weight. Just saying what they see OK, Maybe I am a little over weight comparable to other average Brits but Comparable to average Thai man I am very overweight. When they comment on my White Skin etc I do not take offence, or how about blond hair, blue eyes etc etc Please accept what they say in the spirit of how they say. Move on Accept “THIS IS THAILAND”, There County, their way ACCEPT, ENJOY THE COUNTRY, CULTURE & PEOPLE Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 (edited) EAST MEETS WEST... The OP certainly shows he doesn't understand the habits and rules in the East. The lady doesn't mean anything by saying 'you're fat' other than it even could have been a compliment. Unfortunately a lot of Farangs always see matters like this from a Western Perspective, rather than an Eastern...Westerns are always right, right? BUT, if YOU are in Thailand.....adapt to it, maybe even try to read some books about culture and society LaoPo Edited June 2, 2005 by LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornado Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 currently eating kfc - drooling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Another point to consider - if you want respect, learn the language. How much do you respect an immigrant to the UK who cannot speak more English than "I go pee pee", "You crazy-mazy", "He dirty old man", "I eat fishandchip - yummy yummy"? Maybe you already speak it well, then fine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daleyboy Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Well all i can say is your successful business must be selling to Farangs because with the attitude to Thais that you seem to have i would be surprised if any of them came near you. Are you surprised that they dont like you when you say you display arrogance? It dosent matter what country you are in if you display arrogance like this i am very surprised that you are still in one peice. This is the last comment i am going to make on this post because i personally think you are a troll and best left to your own devices. I truly wish you the best of luck, with that attitude in Thailand there is only one place you will end up and that is in hospital because you have been battered by a group of Thais Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP5 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 While adjusting your belt as you lose weight try adjusting your attitude. For a professional and I presume you are because you say you have a business. What is your real problem. I personally think your lucky you didn't end up in a fist fight. (Kick) Doesn't happen in Thailand. Manners, Greng Jai If you have nothing nice to say. Say nothing at all. A quick stroll around Nana or Soi Cowboy and your ego will be reinflated as Handsom Man Where You Go is directed towards you. Be Happy Mate! & If you can't be Get Happy!!!! Other wise see the sin bosun and get a new shore posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornado Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 While adjusting your belt as you lose weight try adjusting your attitude.For a professional and I presume you are because you say you have a business. What is your real problem. I personally think your lucky you didn't end up in a fist fight. (Kick) Doesn't happen in Thailand. Manners, Greng Jai If you have nothing nice to say. Say nothing at all. A quick stroll around Nana or Soi Cowboy and your ego will be reinflated as Handsom Man Where You Go is directed towards you. Be Happy Mate! & If you can't be Get Happy!!!! Other wise see the sin bosun and get a new shore posting. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> that should be the thread closer - spot on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gburns57au Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 My mate is 140kgs plus and abour 6'1".......sometimes when walking the girls will call him "ooun".....I just tell them in Thai that I understand them and they usually fall about laughing or get embarassed....my mate just grins when this happens. In bars the girls will frequently make motions of taking from him to give to me as I am a stick figure next to him. But he gets more girls jumping on him than I ever do....he gets a bit annoyed if it carries on too much though. to the OP, you could have diffused the situation right from the start by going upto her and saying....."khun Phom Pui noi duai" Phom pui I have heard means "not very skinny" and it is used in a joking manner and certainly nothing to get uptight about. But said with a smile and maybe even put an arm around her and you would have had some instant mates. Thais do tend to call it as they see it but have some very cute disarming ways of saying things, this does not translate to english in quite the same manner as it is said in Thai.....Usually there is no need to take offence at them, this only results in loss of face for everyone....you with the Thais and the Thais with you. Put your natural western instincts away and turn to humour to make your point...you will get a lot further that way. If you do need to make a point....try to do it on the quiet one on one....the point will be taken as long as you are not nasty about it. I think in the quoted case, the Thai guy did well not to take it to task....Would you like someone to call your wife fat ??? BTW....Jang from Pattaya Petes old place reckoned she was going to marry my mate because they were same same like elephant.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnoorsapl Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Has anyone else experienced this kind of rudeness in Thailand? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yeah, very rude. Only in Thailand huh ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedro01 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I am a bit overweight.I keep getting people I don't even know saying things to me like "you very fat" and other comments I consider pretty rude. The thing is I dont think I am that fat, my doctor said I am about 7kg overweight which certainly doesnt make me obese. Its not like I sit around eating pork scratchings in a string vest. The strange thing is a lot of these people who suddenly fell the need to tell me I am "very fat" are usually middle age women who I would consider to be more overweight than I. I nearly got in a fight with an old ladys husband. She starting telling me how fat I was, so I told her "You fat same me, and you very old and ugly" I thought this was a fair come-back. But then I get a VERY dissaproving look from her and then her husband. As a customer in the restaurant I asked him why was he looking at me like that, and did he think saying "you very fat" was a proper way to talk to the customers. Asking if he was the boss (he obviously was) I would like to complain about the womans (his wifes) attitude towards me. I then got asked to leave immediatley. Having not finished my meal I didnt feel it proper that I should have to pay the bill - which I didnt. This nearly resulted in a fist fight. Has anyone else experienced this kind of rudeness in Thailand? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmmmm - only 7KG overweight ? Come on - tell the truth. How much do you weigh ? How tall are you ? What's your waist size ? I'm guessing you are a real fat boy & your doctor is fill of <deleted>. Also - I'd get the blood pressure checked - getting into fights with the managers wife at a restaurant... does this kind of thing happen to you a lot ??? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> AD HOMINEM -10 Did you have something to add to the discussion? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You are implying the locals are calling you fat even though you aren't - I find it a little tough to believe. 7kg overweight would not be evident on anyone taller than a dwarf. I reckon you missed a zero. So - in the interests of all those trying to help you - please supply some rough measurements so that we can properly judge just how unfair the locals are being to you. Perhaps they are just calling it as they see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lampard10 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Some bloody idiot called me thin the other day. I never been so insulted in all my life. THIN!!!!!!!!!!!! who do these peole think they are? I'm a fat bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajarn Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Listen , I'm among the fattest farang in Thailand, and no Thai has ever said, done, or intimidated anything rude. Fascination, shock, pity, turned-on, maybe, but never rudeness.20 years. Never. Not once, Ever... To my face, anyway I truly feel Thais are simply more gracious and thoughtful, generaly, regarding personal issues, but some thinking is different here, and many farangs need to get their fragile egos in check sometimes. Nobody is trying to wound you by smiling and saying 'Uan maak!!', in my experience, so just roll with it.. Otherwise, if people want to think stupid shit about you, let them. Some people are happier with thinking stupid shit. You're unlikely to change that. Life goes on, and so do you.... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I find this hard to believe even if it was in a friendly way . They have called me fat as well but jokingly , when they keep saying it it becomes rude . 1or 2 times ok but joke can only go so far <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Again , that's your take, not neccesarily theirs. Chill out... Don't let ridiculous stuff get to you. Ain't nothing serious enough to go off on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 currently eating kfc - drooling? Did you get the Biggie Fries with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHM Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I interviewed a Thai women today for a job in my spa - as I walked to meet her, she stood up, spun around - and announced "I am very fat, is OK or not?" One of the more unusual openings to an interview I thought... Her weight dominated the entire interview, I asked about her training, she said she was 80 kg's, I asked about her work experience, she said she was really very fat - I could not get her past the weight issue despite many, many mai pen rai's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I interviewed a Thai women today for a job in my spa - as I walked to meet her, she stood up, spun around - and announced "I am very fat, is OK or not?" One of the more unusual openings to an interview I thought... Her weight dominated the entire interview, I asked about her training, she said she was 80 kg's, I asked about her work experience, she said she was really very fat - I could not get her past the weight issue despite many, many mai pen rai's Well, did you hire her? BTW, love your avatar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 If she didnt get hired, it was probably because how often she kept talking about her weight other than focusing on the interview. How annoyed i would have been interviewing her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dereklev Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Boy, this is a major case of cultural misunderstanding.Conversation wise, for a Thai to comment directly on someone’s weight is the equivalent of talking about the weather. My Thai friends and relatives have no problem in telling me if I have gained/lost weight. It’s only an observation, and not meant to be offensive. Remember, Thai’s a big time into Kreng Jai, and keeping up appearances. They won’t admit that prostitution is rife, that Thaksin’s and idiot or anything else what would mean that someone would lose face. As such, you should recognise that commenting on weight is not meant to be offensive, and hence, shouldn’t be taken as such. Could not have put it better Samran!! The other day I stopped to say hello to the mother in law of an Aussie mate who lives nearby. I have lost a little weight since she last saw me and she said....... ...now you only as fat as Rob (her son in law!!!). No insult to either of us just the truth..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darknight Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 If she didnt get hired, it was probably because how often she kept talking about her weight other than focusing on the interview. How annoyed i would have been interviewing her. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well my wife was told when she was young she couldn't work as a nurse as she was fat... so i guess it matters more to them then you think. Hi sandy, Still cooking my recepies ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darknight Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 Besides i was spoken to as Khun Uan (mr fat)...never was insulted by that. So what are you complaining about cross??? Think you have a big ego problem. Called fat... No friends anymore.. PRoblems with biz and domains.. Left by the girlfriend Getting into fights in restaurants... Maybe better you took a diet and a personality course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 If she didnt get hired, it was probably because how often she kept talking about her weight other than focusing on the interview. How annoyed i would have been interviewing her. Well my wife was told when she was young she couldn't work as a nurse as she was fat... so i guess it matters more to them then you think. Personal appearance matters in Farangland but matters even more in Asia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyb789 Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I was at the office the other day, and one of the young Thai ladies (who frequently flirts with me) nearly floored me.. "Why you so fat today?" I couldn't believe it! I asked her to repeat herself-- me thinking that it was her poor English and she doesn't understand what she just said. But again... "You look very fat. You get fat?" Now, I am by no means a fat guy...very tall and thin. This is the first time in my life to hear something like this. My Thai engineer friend spoke something quickly to her in Thai. She then jumped with a change in phrase... "Why you so smart today? You look so smart." Yes, I wore my nice clothes that day, so this confirmed my thoughts that she just chose the wrong English words. But later when I asked my engineer friend what he said to her, his reply was... "I told her foreigners consider it very rude to say something like that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spee Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I am a bit overweight.I keep getting people I don't even know saying things to me like "you very fat" and other comments I consider pretty rude. Has anyone else experienced this kind of rudeness in Thailand? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Like others have said, I wouldn't take this as anything rude. I'm a big boy and my honey's mum and many people in her village have called me fat in one form or another. For some Thai people, being fat is often seen as being affluent (e.g., you can afford to eat well all the time). So it means you are doing well, you have a good job, etc. When taken in this light, it doesn't bother me. It's not like the states or other parts of the world where some people might take one look at you and think "Oh look ... here comes Count Porkula from Slobovia." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajarn Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 If she didnt get hired, it was probably because how often she kept talking about her weight other than focusing on the interview. How annoyed i would have been interviewing her. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well my wife was told when she was young she couldn't work as a nurse as she was fat... so i guess it matters more to them then you think. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Personal appearance matters in Farangland but matters even more in Asia. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> So true, but the nice thing is, it's much easier to change one's appearance here than in that other place... My ugly looks matter less than my other charms, it seems, to many.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expatinasia Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 As others have mentioned, my firend, you should look at the comment with a different perspective. I've always had skinny legs and, when a Chinese business vendor commented on my "Asian legs". I was taken aback, assuming that his comment was an insult. I asked him to explain it and he said, "Your legs are slender, and very strong." A compliment, not an insult. Too, as many non-Asians believe that "all Asians look the same", many Asians have a difficult time telling non-Asians apart. To distinguish people from one another, they will concentrate on a single physical attribute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 I weigh 92 kilos and stand 5 feet 9.5. I've overweight, I'm fat, even by farang standards. I can't deny comments of 'dtui' or 'pompui,' so if they say one of those words, I say the other and laugh. Other than one poster who commented about British humour, there's one point that hasn't been made. Thai insults farang. Then, using a form of Western logic, farang decides that, by Thai logic, he's entitled to insult the farang. No, and her husband defended his wife's honor/face. Thais don't have the same form of logic. Especially with language barriers, we can't have an Aristotelian, Socratic, or Hegelian debate with folks who never studied Western philosophers. Last of all, many of us don't use the proper tones when we're communicating anger, insult, or Monty Python humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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