Meeting Thai Ladies On Dating Sites: 9 Do's And Dont's

[a2396]

You ever think what happened to some of these women previouisly?? I know one who had a farang husband who after she got pregnant with twins buggered off with a bar girl, do you not think this might make her a little more " hardened" when meeting any other men? Two sides to many stories

I pretty much go out mostly with university graduates, whether here or in other countries including back home. That is just my preference as I think there is more commonality there and a better chance of a match. But when I first started dating here (not when I was here in 1982 or 1996, but when I came back to start working here a few years back) I was intrigued by a young woman in Surin. OK, I will admit it was mostly her photos, including one in a bikini which was amazingly impressive. Her English was excellent, but she was still quite young and had only graduated from high school.

I had to drive to Buriram, so I made a detour to meet her. When this lovely Aphrodite showed up at the KFC where we agreed to meet, I was rather shocked to see she was 8 1/2 months pregnant. Seems her Swedish boyfriend enjoyed her as arm-candy and a sex toy, but after she got pregnant, he ran away faster than you could say "child support."

I saw the photos of them in Phuket, Pattaya, Bangkok, etc. I saw her small apartment when I drove her there. And I could see the obvious result in her belly. So I did believe her story.

So what would you do? You are pregnant, kicked out of your home for dating a farang and then getting pregnant, no work, no skills, an apartment lease expiring. I didn't become her sugar daddy, and I didn't appreciate the deception, but I could certainly see her motivation for being a little less than honest in our e-mails and her desperation to find any avenue of support.

I can understand someone not telling the whole truth, when in the introductory stages. Not usual. Unfortunately, with many this deception continues on and on. It's almost like they are incapable of a straight-forward relationship, such as I would know back home.

[jazzbo]

so I am not sure your point... I guess you haven't spent much time in Khon Kaen.

[Rammy]

I met my current G.F. on TLL, I spent the money on joining and have nothing but good things to say about the experience.

I found that I got maybe 5 to 10 'interests' a day from thai women, I could then chat with them and see if I wanted to pursue it further and vice versa.

I found that some women will sound you out very quickly and can be very blunt, ie: Your Job, Where you live, Nationality, ‘You don’t live in US... OK Bye’.

And if you don't hit all the right answers with them, they move to the next profile.

I found I was able to pick up reasonable well there motivations from chatting to them on MSN.

And then video chatting on Skype can reassure you that they are the person in the photo, don’t have a visible baby bump and can at least speak some Engrish. I was amazed at how quickly they would want to view your webcam, a little bit intimidating at first.

In saying this one of my prerequisites was that they have some kind of Tertiary education (uni etc) and that they be close to my own age (late 20's) so maybe this helped to cull out the women with more questionable motivations?

Anyway I met a Girl and we chatted for maybe 2 months before meeting, we met maybe 5 months ago and I’ve just met her parents during Songkran. So far so good.

She’s a qualified Nurse at a Private Hospital, the same age as me and no kids. So there are some gems out there, you just have to be patient and honest.

[dmax]

firstly tell them tht you work for mcdonalds and are a handsome man but a low earner, i doubt many will mail you back

[bonobo]

so I am not sure your point... I guess you haven't spent much time in Khon Kaen.

Actually, I have spent a fair amount of time there. And with 40,000 some-odd students, then yes, there are students there. And when a 20-year old in a uni uniform walks by, I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she is a student. Ocaams Razor and all, you know.

[IanForbes]

As you seem to want to have it spelled out for you, there is nether-world not readily available or visible to the farang as the co-eds do not speak English and have in most cases never even met a farang... but so as not to besmirch the reputation on TV of any KKU 'Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms', we'll just go to maybe one of the other 100 countries of which you seem to be intimately familiar:

January 21, 2008

French Students Increasingly Become Prostitutes to Pay Tuition, 2 Books Suggest

Two books published in France last week have focused attention on the phenomenon of young women moonlighting as sex workers to

finance their university education, The Guardian, a British newspaper, reported today...

http://chronicle.com/article/French-Studen...reasingly/40288

There were girls doing that back in 1958 when I was going to university in Canada. They were real beauties but I could never afford them. They didn't need an internet site to get customers and most of their clients were older guys. When you are 18 anybody over the age of 30 is an older guy. Things haven't changed.

[IanForbes]

Yes I did get the point you were making, that BG's are in a different class and are not "real women."

No, that's not what i said. We discuss dating here, not chromosomes.

Bargirls are "unreal", as their dating habits are fundamentally different to those of normal women. A woman is normally very selective about the man who finally goes into her pants, that is universal and genetically programmed.

Those men, who only date BGs, live in a totally surreal situation. They don't need any game, the only thing necessary is a heap of 1000B notes.

When dating real women, you need game, charm, wit, behaviour, seduction skills.... otherwise you will not succeed. This is a different world. Men who make their experiences mostly at the BG world, don't count as being "experienced with women".

Do you understand the phrase "tongue-in-cheek?" Of course we are not writing about chromosomes here! I was using that to point out the utter fallacy, or at least the utter discriminatory tone of your post.

If you choose not to date bargirls, that is your prerogative. I don't date nor hire their services myself, but that is for my own, personal preferences. But to call them "unreal" is fundamentally condescending and elitist. Bargirls are just as "real" as rubber tappers from Naratiwat, bookkeepers in Bangkok, students in Khon Kaen, nuns on Soi Convent, silk weavers in Buriram, and factory workers in Chon Buri. To assume anything else is blatant predjudice. (Note that I don't say to prefer one or the other is wrong. That is your prerogative. But to assign sub-human status to any group is really rather arrogant.)

You go on about "game," and "seduction" skills necessary in dating. I hate to disagree with you (OK, maybe I don't hate it), but I am rather "experienced with women," as you put it, and I have found that you don't need any certain "skill set." You just need to be yourself and honest in how you portray yourself. Then you will attract the type of person who is really attracted to you, not to some avatar that you portray. And if someone is not attracted to the real you, then perhaps you shouldn't be dating that person?

You criticize Cognos and try to elevate yoruself as somehow more superior than him. Why? Is his happiness an afront to you? Whether you or I would go about dating the same way as him is irrelevant. He did it his way and is happy. I would think you could just give him a pat on the back and move on instead of trying to deneigrate him. I, for one, am happy for him.

Regardless, I do understand exactly what you are saying. And in my humble opinion, I don't think that reflects very well on you.

Good post, bonobo, I agree completely.

Men who are experienced with women enjoy the company of ALL women... old, young, beautiful or homely, and it doesn't matter whether they are innocent debutantes or old hookers, providing they have something of interest to offer. It doesn't matter to him whether they go to bed with him or not. I see very little sense in seducing virgins, and in fact find it a bit appalling unless the couple are both in love. Seducing women should not be a game. It should be a mutual sharing of something both people enjoy. If a woman doesn't enjoy it then I'd rather not be a part of it. There's certainly lots of gals that do. And, I'd much rather have sex with an experienced woman who enjoys it than lead some poor gal up the garden path with lies and deceit, and break her heart in doing so.

With the gals that I was REALLY interested in having a serious relationship with I always left it up to them when to start the sex part. It showed them that I wasn't just hustling them, and that I really cared for them. It's always worked for me. Sometimes it happened the first night and sometimes not for a month. But it was always worth it in the end. And, when it was over there were seldom any hard feelings afterwards.

Now, I don't WANT a serious relationship. I'm too old for that BS, so I stick with the ladies who enjoy my company with no strings attached.

[bonobo]

Seducing women should not be a game. It should be a mutual sharing of something both people enjoy. If a woman doesn't enjoy it then I'd rather not be a part of it.

Since we seem to be in a mutual admiration mode today, I have to point out the above and stress that this is a vital key for living and interaction with others. I applaud your views.

And if the above parameter is met, then it really doesn't matter if you met through the internet or at church, at a bar or in a class, and it doesn't matter if you waited 18 months to have sex or it was 30 minutes after meeting. All of that is irelevant, in my opinion.

[jazzbo]

... you guys' mutual admiration society sound like the '50s The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet

[IanForbes]

Touche, Jazzbo. I come from that era.

Surprisingly enough, the Ozzie and Harriet values still ring true and are worth keeping. They just get package up in a different wrapping.

[jdinasia]

All I ask is why would a guy who would rank below a #5 (on a 1 to 10 scale) expect to catch a #8 or higher gal if he wasn't very wealthy and willing to give most of it away? Wealthy guys usually get that way by being smart. Too bad the little head starts doing the thinking when it comes to women.

There is nothing wrong with internet dating sites if all you want is a big laugh and have lots of time to waste. But, if I was desperate for company, which I'm not, then I'd probably use one of the sites. I'm sure there are some specialized forums where women are active participants and you can get to know someone on an informal basis that might lead to a relationship. Most of my good fishing friends were met through fishing forums.

Yeppers ----

Rule Number 1 = don't use internet dating sites!

(In fact that should be rule #1 and #1 and #3 -- with enough repitition to get the point across!)

[makescents]

Couple of posts here - one just a few up - that go on about TLL and having to pay. I just looked at their web site (I know someone that has used it over a year) and you do NOT have to pay.

True but the account is so crippled that it isn't worth having. I haven't seen a Thai on there with a premium account.

10 messages and over 50 interests in 48 hours makes me want to sign up or write it off as a scam.

[jazzbo]

Looking at Ozzie and Harriet reminds me -- as regarding the wholesome image of Doris Day -- of the quip by Oscar Levant (from Wikipedia):

"I knew Doris Day

before

she was a virgin." (Levant was in the cast of Day's first film,

Romance on the High Seas

(1948), in which she played a brassy showgirl very different from the virginal ingenue character that later brought her stardom.)

Ozzie was in real life a domineering but very successful SOB.

... and when someone in a ribbing mode asks me how much does it cost to hang out with non-English speaking Thai women less than half your age I just say: "Whatever it takes."

Edited April 29, 2010 by jazzbo

[hawthorne]

1) Tell them you are old, no family and stinking rich. Looking for something (insert preferences here). That you are sex crazed and take viagra twice a day. See what happens. Tose that reject you may be worth chasing up with another profile.

I like the way you think...

[jazzbo]

With apolgies to Leo Burnett worldwide, , Inc., Reach for the Stars

[Markaew]

Is there a website that lists various Thai women that scam Farangs? The women that have multiple husbands for the sake of multiple incomes and women that married to clean out wallets then move on.

Thai people "gang up" on Farangs then why can't there be websites for information on the professional Thai women? I would insert my ex's picture. She is definitely a pro.

[TravelTeach]

At the almost-certain risk of getting flamed/laughed at, I have to ask for some advice on this very topic. The whole reason I'm reading this thread is cause of what happened last night and this morning.

In my early 30s, haven't been here that long. Girl contacts me on Tagged. Pictures mainly look like she's a good girl, some a little not-so-good. Last night we meet at a night market. I'm considering it a date. I ask questions, she laughs. I don't go out of my way to pay for too much but she goes out of her way to make sure she's paying her share. I feel the conversation isn't going too well and once our food is finished she looks ready to go. I'm thinking: date is a bust, no chemistry. That's OK. Don't care.

I get a text from her a few minutes after we split. Then an email when I get home. Then another couple of emails this morning with an "XO" and time she's out of school today. Now, some of you might be shaking your heads at me, but I'm new here so don't be too harsh guys. Is she in the game? Or is this standard Thai girl behavior?

More to the point, is there some kind of text I can send that would confirm this, without being too overt. I'm thinking "Want to come over and watch a movie?"

Or should I just say "How much?"

TT

[cognos]

At the almost-certain risk of getting flamed/laughed at, I have to ask for some advice on this very topic. The whole reason I'm reading this thread is cause of what happened last night and this morning.

In my early 30s, haven't been here that long. Girl contacts me on Tagged. Pictures mainly look like she's a good girl, some a little not-so-good. Last night we meet at a night market. I'm considering it a date. I ask questions, she laughs. I don't go out of my way to pay for too much but she goes out of her way to make sure she's paying her share. I feel the conversation isn't going too well and once our food is finished she looks ready to go. I'm thinking: date is a bust, no chemistry. That's OK. Don't care.

I get a text from her a few minutes after we split. Then an email when I get home. Then another couple of emails this morning with an "XO" and time she's out of school today. Now, some of you might be shaking your heads at me, but I'm new here so don't be too harsh guys. Is she in the game? Or is this standard Thai girl behavior?

More to the point, is there some kind of text I can send that would confirm this, without being too overt. I'm thinking "Want to come over and watch a movie?"

Or should I just say "How much?"

its the game..use the analogy of deer in the wild..male deer approaches female deer, she takes off.. male deer goes away.. the female deer follows him, and the situation repeats itself ad nauseum

signed: different animals in heat, same same

TT

[a2396]

At the almost-certain risk of getting flamed/laughed at, I have to ask for some advice on this very topic. The whole reason I'm reading this thread is cause of what happened last night and this morning.

In my early 30s, haven't been here that long. Girl contacts me on Tagged. Pictures mainly look like she's a good girl, some a little not-so-good. Last night we meet at a night market. I'm considering it a date. I ask questions, she laughs. I don't go out of my way to pay for too much but she goes out of her way to make sure she's paying her share. I feel the conversation isn't going too well and once our food is finished she looks ready to go. I'm thinking: date is a bust, no chemistry. That's OK. Don't care.

I get a text from her a few minutes after we split. Then an email when I get home. Then another couple of emails this morning with an "XO" and time she's out of school today. Now, some of you might be shaking your heads at me, but I'm new here so don't be too harsh guys. Is she in the game? Or is this standard Thai girl behavior?

More to the point, is there some kind of text I can send that would confirm this, without being too overt. I'm thinking "Want to come over and watch a movie?"

Or should I just say "How much?"

TT

For most of them, their behavior is totally unpredictable and defies rationality.

[TravelTeach]

For most of them, their behavior is totally unpredictable and defies rationality.

How are you supposed to interact with them then? My reference points are all Western.

[bonobo]

At the almost-certain risk of getting flamed/laughed at, I have to ask for some advice on this very topic. The whole reason I'm reading this thread is cause of what happened last night and this morning.

In my early 30s, haven't been here that long. Girl contacts me on Tagged. Pictures mainly look like she's a good girl, some a little not-so-good. Last night we meet at a night market. I'm considering it a date. I ask questions, she laughs. I don't go out of my way to pay for too much but she goes out of her way to make sure she's paying her share. I feel the conversation isn't going too well and once our food is finished she looks ready to go. I'm thinking: date is a bust, no chemistry. That's OK. Don't care.

I get a text from her a few minutes after we split. Then an email when I get home. Then another couple of emails this morning with an "XO" and time she's out of school today. Now, some of you might be shaking your heads at me, but I'm new here so don't be too harsh guys. Is she in the game? Or is this standard Thai girl behavior?

More to the point, is there some kind of text I can send that would confirm this, without being too overt. I'm thinking "Want to come over and watch a movie?"

Or should I just say "How much?"

TT

No one here can give you an accurate assessment from just what you have been able to give us.  And you can't make that, either.

It could be that she likes you but was too shy to let her feelings out, and while going home, she was regretting not being more forward. And it is easier for her to text that than to say that.

Or she could be a hooker wondering how much to charge you.

The point is, you can't know as of yet.  If you do have any interest in her, and if you want to find the answer to your question, then you are going to have to go out on another date.

[hawthorne]

not sure about the dos but

Don't expect much...too many looking for income ( too many scammers). I am sure many Nigerian style internet shops are set up just for this. In the Phillipines this has become an art. They are way ahead of the Thias in this respect.

[GreenSnapper]

I get a text from her a few minutes after we split. Then an email when I get home. Then another couple of emails this morning with an "XO" and time she's out of school today. Now, some of you might be shaking your heads at me, but I'm new here so don't be too harsh guys. Is she in the game? Or is this standard Thai girl behavior?

More to the point, is there some kind of text I can send that would confirm this, without being too overt. I'm thinking "Want to come over and watch a movie?"

Or should I just say "How much?"

Oh dear....

Girls want men, and not wimps. But you still have a chance

I hope you will not start sending her flowers, buy her endless drinks and meals and start with the final approach 18 months later...

Just go for it, what do you risk? 99% she is not a pro and the next meeting will end successfully where it is supposed to end.

Don't be shy and don't listen to the crap about endless courting.

[TravelTeach]

Just go for it, what do you risk? 99% she is not a pro and the next meeting will end successfully where it is supposed to end.

Don't be shy and don't listen to the crap about endless courting.

Oh I wouldn't court endlessly. I'm more than happy to move things along. But like I said, it did my head in because I figured there was no chemistry. Plenty of fish in Bangkok so I was ready to move on. Thing is, her records indicate she's been on this dating site for 4 years! So I figured she had better things to do, as do I, and wished her a good night.

But I think you boys are right: a second date is in order and we'll see where it goes from there. Hopefully not the ATM machine.

[sarahsbloke]

They don't need any game, the only thing necessary is a heap of 1000B notes.

If it's good enough for Tiger Woods, Martin Sheen, Rod Stewart, etc. ................

[GreenSnapper]

But I think you boys are right: a second date is in order and we'll see where it goes from there. Hopefully not the ATM machine.

A real ho wouldn't just date you and giggle shyly

You don't risk anything. If she really asks for $$ after the act, give her 100B for the taxi and send her home. But I really doubt that this would happen. The girls are not as often painted here at TV.

And don't forget: after your second meeting and the following night, you come back here and tell us your success story!

[jaideeguy]

I did my 'on line dating' before the companies saw the oportunities for [lonely] men and [hungry]women to meet. The good old days when Yahoo.com/personals was free and somewhat honest/naive.

One meeting with a girl taught me a lesson early. We exchanged many emails, maybe 50 before I was convinced that she was not only educated but fluent in English.....this was before everybody had cel phones, so we didn't speak before meeting.

to make a long story short, I took a plane trip just to meet her [and family] and upon meeting, I saw she was not only fatter than her fotos, but her English skills were barely there and my first question to her was....'Was that you writing the emails?' and her reply was 'No, it was my Katoey friend"

That was 15+yrs ago and never again [for me].

That's not to say that there are legitimate girls out there that can be met and a successful relationship can possibly happen. I know of several success stories, but at least an equal amount of sad stories.

I ended up trying another approach that proved successful. Having 'played' in the bars of Pats and BKK, i saw that lots of the girls came from Issan and were mostly nice girls down on their luck and having to survive with few skills except their bodies........ but quickly learned the tricks of the trade and became spoiled. I tried to tame a few and saw the futility in that approach, so i got on the train and headed for 'the factory outlet' in the search for a nice Issan girl that had not yet made the transition to bar girl and I got lucky and found my wife of 10yrs now.

Oh, and she had a college education {for what that is worth here} and spoke passable English that has improved over the last 10 yrs.

Edited April 30, 2010 by jaideeguy

[GreenSnapper]

We exchanged many emails, maybe 50 before I was convinced that she was not only educated but fluent in English.....this was before everybody had cel phones, so we didn't speak before meeting.

to make a long story short, I took a plane trip just to meet her [and family] and upon meeting, I saw she was not only fatter than her fotos, but her English skills were barely there and my first question to her was....'Was that you writing the emails?' and her reply was 'No, it was my Katoey friend"

Good example to prove my point that extensive chatting/mailing is a waste of time. A quick first meeting is what you should go for. And of course not using a plane, unless she pays for it

(I'd never drive longer than 1 hour for a date)

[Takeo]

I tell you now, tagged and datingasia are just full of easy girl, ur only gonna get a girl from there after money or a one night stand. gonna be hard if ur looking for dating off most internet sites.

If u know what ur doing, its just too easy. Im happily in a relationship, but my mate gets all his entertainment that way. I didnt believe how easy it is until he showed me.

[a2396]

I did my 'on line dating' before the companies saw the oportunities for [lonely] men and [hungry]women to meet. The good old days when Yahoo.com/personals was free and somewhat honest/naive.

One meeting with a girl taught me a lesson early. We exchanged many emails, maybe 50 before I was convinced that she was not only educated but fluent in English.....this was before everybody had cel phones, so we didn't speak before meeting.

to make a long story short, I took a plane trip just to meet her [and family] and upon meeting, I saw she was not only fatter than her fotos, but her English skills were barely there and my first question to her was....'Was that you writing the emails?' and her reply was 'No, it was my Katoey friend"

That was 15+yrs ago and never again [for me].

That's not to say that there are legitimate girls out there that can be met and a successful relationship can possibly happen. I know of several success stories, but at least an equal amount of sad stories.

I ended up trying another approach that proved successful. Having 'played' in the bars of Pats and BKK, i saw that lots of the girls came from Issan and were mostly nice girls down on their luck and having to survive with few skills except their bodies........ but quickly learned the tricks of the trade and became spoiled. I tried to tame a few and saw the futility in that approach, so i got on the train and headed for 'the factory outlet' in the search for a nice Issan girl that had not yet made the transition to bar girl and I got lucky and found my wife of 10yrs now.

Oh, and she had a college education {for what that is worth here} and spoke passable English that has improved over the last 10 yrs.

Good post. However, I live in Issan and it is no piece of cake finding any educated women, who have the slightest interest in a Farang. Maybe, if you were within 5 yrs age range AND had other things to offer them, such as a ticket to your country & marriage. My procedure for internet cruising is to chat with them once & get a phone number to determine their English skills. Many of them are using translation software or other people who can write English to do their computer work. 95% cannot speak passable English.