Meeting Thai Ladies On Dating Sites: 9 Do's And Dont's

[consnabit]

Thai Love links is the preferred, most active site without a doubt. Worldwide multiple sister sites. Have used many, including my favorite, P/Heart.

Beware the pros working the sites for money using bogus photos, tons of them. Understand the Thais use third parties to write the profiles. I have written a dozen for girls that use my beauty shop.

Never, ever, discuss cash, monthly stipends or income. You will find a smart gal if you follow this path. My friend , R, helped me out and it worked well for me. Then I found my Isaan girl, without ever discussing money. Try it, that is the key.

[GreenSnapper]

Not to hijack the thread, but second date went well and again, she refused to not pay her share. Clearly not a working girl. Third date coming up and so we will enter end game.

I told you

You seem to know game in your home country, it is not much different here. Girls are a bit more shy and need some more leadership role from the man. Also come properly dressed, no shorts, no flipflops

There are lots of good girls here, honest and not after your money even they are on meager salaries. There is a life outside the bar.

[animatic]

I spent about 6 months on one the most popular sites. In that time, I got over 200 phone numbers. 95% could not speak ANY English. Some wanted money even before I met them. Others were looking for marriage only and were insisting I meet the family after one meeting with them. Most are looking for young, rich & handsome for marriage. A few may offer play for pay. One wanted 20,000 bht per mo another 15,000 per mo. Non-negotiable. Good luck. You will be spending a bit of time at it. Maybe better if you live in BKK, which I do not.

Observation shows.

You can have a different bargirl for 1,000 baht a night for 30 nights. 30k baht.

and most will clean the house in the morning, so 15,000 is a good deal.

Since one way or another long term relationship usually involves some support functions

including extended family, this is still a good deal.

Some prefer to have one lady and be some what settled.

The main question is how mercenary are they from the git go.

There are nice as pie girls willing to not drag you to the family day 2,

and not expecting huge sums spent in the short term, but long term,

as with any man; Thai or farang support is part of the game plan.

Don't see that as any different from western ladies.

Edited May 2, 2010 by animatic

[animatic]

1) Tell them you are old, no family and stinking rich. Looking for something (insert preferences here). That you are sex crazed and take viagra twice a day. See what happens. Tose that reject you may be worth chasing up with another profile.

ROTFLOL

[pontius]

1) Tell them you are old, no family and stinking rich. Looking for something (insert preferences here). That you are sex crazed and take viagra twice a day. See what happens. Tose that reject you may be worth chasing up with another profile.

Hahaha! But what do you mean, another profile? Should the second one be fake then?

All I ask is why would a guy who would rank below a #5 (on a 1 to 10 scale) expect to catch a #8 or higher gal if he wasn't very wealthy and willing to give most of it away? Wealthy guys usually get that way by being smart. Too bad the little head starts doing the thinking when it comes to women.

There is nothing wrong with internet dating sites if all you want is a big laugh and have lots of time to waste. But, if I was desperate for company, which I'm not, then I'd probably use one of the sites. I'm sure there are some specialized forums where women are active participants and you can get to know someone on an informal basis that might lead to a relationship. Most of my good fishing friends were met through fishing forums.

the best way to meet thai women is just go to thailand and meet them in person wherever..however...meeting them on the internet is an alternative for those that have never been there yet and want to have someone waiting for them when they arrive, plain and simple

That's not necessarily true, many "good" Thai girls don't go out, and I for one wouldn't know how to start talking to a university student on her way home (not to mention that it'd be awkward and maybe even considered offensive) but you do get a chance meeting them online.

(My student GF and I met on hi5, 19 months ago. ).

[virtualtraveller]

Naah, ignore all this (assuming you're reading it because you are wife hunting but don't live her)

1. Read 'Thailand Culture Shock (R&N Cooper), it's a bit outdated but applies generally to any lady born before 1975 (ish)

2. Come over to Thailand a few times, spend time with various women you meet online and in the bars, to get a realistic impression about how they are

3. Don't be beguiled by the Thai smile, it's mostly genuine but also hides some more opportunistic Thai traits

4. Know that Thais are generally immature people in many ways, which is what makes them fun and easy going, so date someone your age

Having done all this you'll soon realise that there are some fun shagable girls out there that are good for a shag only, and there are some decent honest women who are lovely, perhaps not as shagable, and lots in-between. The decent ones are usually shy, but looking for a honest, monogamous guy to look after them (and they'll in turn look after you).

Know also that it IS all about money in Thailand and either way you're going to have to 'help' your wife with some money, so she can provide a pension to her family (or lose face), especially if you are spiriting her away to rich Europe or America. And even then, she'll still want to go out and earn more, for nothing makes a Thai feel more satisfied and secure than financial security and status it brings.

Finally (speaking from 8 years experience here); always consider that the Thai mind is one of the most bewildering and non-sensible things in this world, you and your wife are going to have fall-outs (followed by the Thai wife 24 hour sulk), but as long as you show a bit of understanding and respect they get over it. Just treat them like an unsolvable puzzle, fun to play around with but don't expect a final solution to anything.

[bob6023]

btw, if plan A doesn't pan out and you are in LOS, just go meet a new one QUICK at a massage place, Big C, food stall, 7-11..ANYWHERE.. !! ..the pain of the first loss is only VERY temporary..

signed: more than one way to skin a cat

I agree, Big C, 7 elevens, massage places. So easy to meet attractive young women here esp Pattaya. The beach walk is also very good. (daytime).

[bilbobaht]

Thai Love links is the preferred, most active site without a doubt. Worldwide multiple sister sites. Have used many, including my favorite, P/Heart.

Beware the pros working the sites for money using bogus photos, tons of them. Understand the Thais use third parties to write the profiles. I have written a dozen for girls that use my beauty shop.

Never, ever, discuss cash, monthly stipends or income. You will find a smart gal if you follow this path. My friend , R, helped me out and it worked well for me. Then I found my Isaan girl, without ever discussing money. Try it, that is the key.

I think we can all write a book about this subject. But honestly before you meet one of these girls, do discuss money and try to understand her/your situation. Ingoring money can can you in lots of trouble. I like to ask ..

1.) Where are you now?

2.) where are your parents?

3.) what do you do?

4.) how much a month do you make?

1 tells everything, 2 tells where she came from, 3 tells you if she has ambition, 4 tells you how much you can expect to have to pay based on (1) her cost of living.

I think its essential, from the questions asked there ar emany sincere farang looking for love. I read thai-visa often, and I mostly see insults and condemnation. There is nothing wrong with a +50 year old coming out of a divorce retiring in Thailand and looking for real-love. It should NOT be a violation of this board to discuss this problem, as we're NOT talking about anything illegal here. We're just trying to help our brother farang avoid the tar-pit.

So much needs to be known for a farang to play this game. The game is little about paying the pro 1k baht. The game is about finding a real woman that wants to be taken care of and be loved. They do exist. What needs to be done is teach the brother farang how to find and develop this thai woman.

[jfchandler]

Perhaps if you actually read the TV thread you're posting to, you'd find the answers to your question...

Just out of curiosity, is there anyone here that has ever met a Thai girl from one of these on line dating sites and if so, what kind of experience was it and what sort of girl did you meet?

[bilbobaht]

Having done all this you'll soon realise that there are some fun shagable girls out there that are good for a shag only, and there are some decent honest women who are lovely, perhaps not as shagable, and lots in-between. The decent ones are usually shy, but looking for a honest, monogamous guy to look after them (and they'll in turn look after you).

Know also that it IS all about money in Thailand and either way you're going to have to 'help' your wife with some money

Shagging is all too easy. If your in Thailand and haven't figured out this then you probably had the same problem back home.

The essential problem is that for a +50 guy who still wants sex, there little to none to be had in the home country, me own ex-wife who still is lovely went menopausal at 45.

I have lived on/off in Asia some 30 years and speak chinese and thai. I didn't even think to persue a relationship with an asian woman until 5 years ago. So we come to Thailand to find love and sex with a woman around 30, who in theory might have 20 road miles left for sex, given we be about 50, and she be about 30. This thing cannot be done in farang-land.

Given that we have to put the 'house' in the womans name, find that 'quality-woman' is the crux of the problem.

Yes the thread is online dating. But the shopping MUST be well understood. If sex is wanted, then yes like the sage before us has said, you'll save a fortune if you pay-for-play. My last figure is that my thai-wife costs me about 50,000 baht everytime I have sex. Eventually that might go down to $10,000 but the cost also seems to accelerate in time. So hel_l in the long term it might cost 100,000 baht.

One of the intriuging things here be discussed is this waiting issue. I certainly know from experience that normal thai woman are very selective about jumping in bed. The problem of course is if they give sex minimal during the dating, that's what you can expect in the marriage. In fact in my experience you can usually expect less during the marriage. Like my thai-wife is fond of telling me "If you wanted a log of sex you should have married a bar-girl, she can give that thing, a normal thai woman cannot give that thing".

Boys, this is something that I see little discussed.

Ok, so lets let this roll, how to meet a girl on TLL. I met my wife, and paid 1,000,000 baht sin-sod to mother, the family is rich thai-chinese, the father is bigwig military they didn't want the girl to marry a farang and put up as many hurdles as possible. I guess for me I got almost what I was looking for. I got '10'. She's got a master's degree. She knows how to make her selfish gorgeous, and she NEVER spends money on herself. That said like the advice above she had nid-noy interest in sex during the dating, and its the same post-marriage. Everything else is fine. Ok, so she'll have sex twice a week, and I want it 3 times a day. Guess who wins?

When its all said and done $20,000 EURO ain't nothing, and a 50 year old man couldn't have a 30 year old beauty queen in his home country who is educated with a good family. I think my wife is essentially correct, if your sex crazy then stick with the bar-girls.

God help the god's don't censor me, because truth is dispised on this board. But really, I would really like to see an honest discussion of how to meet NORMAL THAI WOMEN on the internet. As a computer scientist I think there is a lot of things that can be shared with brother farang to minimize his pain and loss of baht.

[bilbobaht]

Thai Love links is the preferred, most active site without a doubt. Worldwide multiple sister sites. Have used many, including my favorite, P/Heart.

I like thai-love-links, I think it keeps out most of the chaf. But you do as the farang have to pay, about $30 USD a month. If you don't pay then you can't chat, or send mail. Once you pay then all the girls can send you mail an chat with you.

Ok, now I'm ready since nobody has done this to cut to the chase and tell how to get lots of girls, if this is what you want. I'll use TLL as a reference, but remember all this internet-dating is the same. TLL is just an abbrevation in my mind for the subject of the thread.

Once you sign up and pay, then they can contact you, but I can say in 100% of the cases, and some of these girls I have known for years. The girls who contacted me first, always 100% of the time eventually asked for CASH. Enough said. There are tons of Pro's out there looking for lonely men. So enjoy have a nice chat, and be courteous and meet if you wish and have some sport with those that contact you, they'll almost always be college girls, who prefer that lonely guy over 50+ who just happens to be the ones most comfortable with sending the magic $500 USD ( 15,000 baht a month ) via western-union, this seems to be the preferred endgame.

Ok, so 95% of the woman are looking for this cash-flow and why not, Issan wages are about 3,000 a month, upcountry 9,000 and BKK about 15,000 for a normal college girl of 25. So basically if she invests an hour a day she can make a monthly wage on each farang, anybody with a double-digit IQ should and would be playing this game.

In my humble opinion considering several years on TLL and knowing 100's of these girls and achieved their confidence I can say that its VERY HARD without lots of experience to detect the NORMAL THAI WOMAN.

I think in general if you want a woman less than 1/2 your age, then you better off pay-for-play, because down the line your going to end up in the tar-pit. At 50 I look for post 30, I would like to add that especially online that the majority of under 30 women are emotionally immature. If all you want is sex go for-it, ... but if your looking for a solid serious relationship... The magic number all my professional thai friends say is 15 year difference MAX. This is thai culture.

Another over-looked but well understood thing is time. NO thai man marry's a thai girl without knowing her for one-year. Period. The NUMBER-ONE problem with online dating is that there is ALWAYS an emergency rush to marry the farang. To collect the sin-sot, and tung-mun. I think honestly this is why the 95% are the majority. In my friends I have made in my years on TLL I note that the majority of 25 year old girls that I have rejected but stayed in touch with had married a farang with 3 months, but still stay in touch with me, and still tell me anytime I wish to meet them, they will love me, that is something very important to think about. That the majority of these women who are pro's on these dating sites are ALWAYS looking to move up.

Now another important thing is that NORMAL GOOD THAI women never seem to last more than 7 days on these sites. So when you search, always look for the NEW-GIRL that just came on, and note this girl will be gone in 7 days. The reason is that the majority of farang are RUDE and only want to talk about sex. If your serious about finding your dream wife, then be courteous and ask about her mother and father, and she will fall in love with you. When you chat with this girl always on the first chat get her private email, because she will be gone in less than a week. Then just wait. In a week she'll have pulled her picture off TLL, .. then you send private email and say? "HOW ARE MOM AND DAD", ... and then just learn about each other. She will tell you to quit TLL also, you must do this thing, or at the least have many private avatars if you wish to continue the game. But if you wish to develop a real relationship with a real woman they will not tolerate shopping. A thai woman will NOT tolerate being a CHOICE for a farang. This woman MUST think that you think she is the WOW GIRL of your dreams.

I not mean to offen anyone. I'm just trying to share how to find real quality women on TLL. What needs to be done.

WRT dating its all the same. You'll meet these girls in a coffee shop in the daytime, and they'll bring a girlfriend. If they come alone I would be very suspicious as this is NOT normal. Expect 3 dates before your alone without the friend. Go for a bike ride, get alone, take her to a park and sit on a mat and buy her some som-tam get her to relax. By the 3'rd date she'll ask to see your room, I think its preferrable to have a twin in this case so you can both talk. Within an hour you should be holding her if she's at all interested in you. I would rush unless she makes the rub with her leg. I think normal thai girls don't touch much below the belt with their hands. Thai culture says that the high doesn't touch the low. Don't expect any forwardness by a normal gentle thai woman. I think in general once they trust you, that the tiger can and will be unleashed.

Sorry stud's and young mudslingers, ... I'm really writing for the 50 year old guy who wants to meet his 30+ life partner that we all dream of finding once we finally decide to 'retire' in Thailand. If all you want is instant muff diving, just go up to north Isan and pay 500 baht and get to business.

I like North girls, usually Nahkon-Sawan or around, I like to visit Isan but don't like the attitude and rush, and drinking. I don't like the south its too expensive. I don't like BKK spend very little time. There's lots of good place like Udon-Thani where things are cheap, and the land is fertile and most people are NOT poor.

As the old combat Vet's will tell you, "Stay away from poor girls", they'll suck you dry. It's impossible to feed everyone in the village forever. This is why I chose a thai-wife with rich parents.

I can tell you all this, NEVER has anyone in my thai family other than my wife ever asked for money.

[sarahsbloke]

divorce would cost the same

Actually divorce in Thailand is just about the cheapest in the world (about 100bht).

You don't have to give them anything at all, not even child support if you don't want to.

(But if you really want and volunteer to pay child support, the Thai court says 3000bht per month per child)

Rent don't buy, keep your money offshore. They get half of everything you bought after marriage ..... make sure that is NOTHING.

After all, it's not legal for you to buy a house here anyway.

Oh, and I have a friend who uses these sites, they all shag on the first meeting, if he doesn't feel a connection, he still does it.

Edited May 2, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[bilbobaht]

divorce would cost the same

Actually divorce in Thailand is just about the cheapest in the world (about 100bht).

You don't have to give them anything at all, not even child support if you don't want to.

(But if you really want and volunteer to pay child support, the Thai court says 3000bht per month per child)

Rent don't buy, keep your money offshore. They get half of everything you bought after marriage ..... make sure that is NOTHING.

After all, it's not legal for you to buy a house here anyway.

Probably good advice. But realistically just like sin-sot, and tung-mung, in general you have to pay money for the divorce. In general thai-girls I know have gotten about 100,000 from the ex-husband.

A girl can't remarry for a year. So she's in no hurry.

But almost always in a divorce the guy has a new gal, and this gal wants to be 'mia neung' #1 gal, so the pressure is on him to get divorced, also the new girl ain't happy about living with the married man.

So the Thai Man MUST PAY for a divorice, not what he paid for sin-sot, but he must pay. Yes, 3,000 per month per child is standard, but any girl will tell you this barely covers pampers and formula, so the girl is not ahead.

Let's be honest here, you can build a pretty good home for 1 million baht, or 20,000 euro 30,000 usd. Why not build the home, the girl gets security, if you can't accept this, then why did you marry her? I think it goes a long way. All these girls want their own home.

My wifes family gave me the land to build a house. I think this is normal. After a few years they're going to be using the sin-sot I paid as a downpayment for an apartment building in her name, so she has income, ... this is just good thinking.

While I completely AGREE keep 99% of your cash off-shore. But I think renting has its same problems as farangland, ... why rent? If you a handy-man and like to do stuff its boring to rent a house where you can do nothing. It's fun to build and house and add additions, and have a shop ... I mean a big problem in Thailand is boredom.

I prefer to live in the rural areas, but close to the city. I think sure if you the majority of farang, and live in BKK, in the condo or apartment, ... or any city dwelling. I'm quite leary of this Isaan BAHN-FARANG thing where you see dozen's of mansions in every rural village.

I fond of building homes just like mom&dad have, nothing fancy, nothing that sticks out. Gives you a lot to do, ...

But yes if you don't trust the girl, ... but then why did you marry her if you don't trust her with a 20,000 EURO investment, ... hel_l if shes a quality woman the sin-sot cost that much.

I see this argument a lot on the forums how farang don't pay, ... how they don't want to buy. But then they want a thai woman. A thai man has to pay. A thai man has to TURN HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK OVER TO HIS WIFE!!!!!!!!

I know this all has to do with TLL ( internet-dating ), but lets remember here this is thailand, and these woman are expecting to be treated like lady's. A thai man trusts his wife with ALL his money. If you don't trust your wife with NID-NOY ( I'm assuming you can lose 10% of your net-worth on your thai-wife investment ), then why in the hel_l are you married to a thai-woman, or thinking of such?

I know, ... its all about sex. No folks sorry, the average thai woman don't give out much after 35, and after 50 they give everything to buddha. The husband or PUA isn't good for much of anything. 20-35 the man gives seed and gives baby, after that all womans love and attention goes to baby, .. this why I think 90% of thai men butter-fly.

I really think that farang-men and thai-girl all get in the end what they want. The farang man gets nid-noy sex, and thai girl gets a sticky-shit ( kee-niaw ) husband who will not buy anything for fear of not keeping it after the divorce.

Normal thai women only want to marry ONE MAN for a lifetime. Why the fear of divorce??? If you have married a GOOD NORMAL thai woman, you should NOT fear divorce, ... if you married a woman who only wanted your money, and you continue to be selfish its only a matter of time before there will be a divorce.

My opinion, is put them on a strict budget, and let them squander say $300-500 month ( around 10,000 baht ), after that tell them to get a job if they want to squander more. WRT the man who will not buy a house, or a car, or a motorcycle, for fear that his wife gets all at divorce, why in the hel_l marry?

Like the SAGE said "NEVER MARRY a THAI WOMAN".

I only did this thing out of deep curiousity, but like I said, I'm prepared to lose 10% of my net-worth, all else will be always be off-shore, and invisible to all.

If I were to offer real advice it would be to NEVER MARRY. But then I'm curious about the whole thing, I enjoy being part of a thai family and having 100's of cousins, I enjoy mom&dad. The sisters, I enjoy how thai people treat me like family. Real family, I think this is what is most rich about thailand. It's NOT the sex. It's the BUDDHISM, the way of life, the food, and the love. Most of my wifes male family are police, most of the dad's friends are military, I find it all fascinating. On the weekends everyone takes turns having giant food-festivals at different village homes, ... I think its a great life. You can't have this life unless you marry a thai woman. Marriage is required to be part of the family.

Our normal traditional thai woman only wants to be loved and taken care of. She has NO interest in divorce or sleeping with other men.

She will give you sex if she has LOVE and FEELING. If you take care of her financially and give her a comfortable home ( same as mom has ).

As a property owner and landlord, I think its crazy to talk about RENTING. Just my opinion. Just keep the house to be around 1,000,000 baht, don't be an idiot farang like all I see that build 10,000,000 baht bahn-farang homes in ISAN. INSANITY.

Yes, farangs can't own land in Thailand. That's why we're talking about TLL, and why were talking about finding quality thai woman, that you can trust and put her name on your home.

Kow-JAI????????

[jfchandler]

Well, considering that above you report having paid the wife's family 1M baht in sin sod, I'd imagine it will take them a bit of time to go spending thru your former money...

I can tell you all this, NEVER has anyone in my thai family other than my wife ever asked for money.

[bonobo]

bilobaht,

I don't agree with all you wrote, such as Thai women over 35 don't have much sex, but there is a lot of truth within your posts.  For example, you are the first to write that many women who join take their profiles off when the first zillion guys start immediately writing about sex (or asking them to strip on the cam.)  But this is a very true happenstance.

[makescents]

bilobaht,

I don't agree with all you wrote, such as Thai women over 35 don't have much sex, but there is a lot of truth within your posts. For example, you are the first to write that many women who join take their profiles off when the first zillion guys start immediately writing about sex (or asking them to strip on the cam.) But this is a very true happenstance.

There's always a few tits ruining it for everyone else. Especially on Camfrog.

[sarahsbloke]

sticky-shit ( kee-niaw )

I was under the impression that the 'kee' here was a classifier to indicate a negative quality in the adjective used to describe the person being referred to.

(similar kee-giat= person lazy in a bad sort of way)

so 'kee-neow' = 'person sticky (with money) in bad sort of way'

(this 'kee' is not shit, riding, typing or uneven IMHO)

My wifes family gave me the land to build a house.

Are you sure they didn't let you build them a free house on their land? That would be far more normal than giving anything to a foreigner.

But I think renting has its same problems as farangland, ... why rent?

Entirely same as in the western world, once a woman owns a house, she may not need you, but when a woman rents a house she needs you to pay the rent.

She will give you sex if she has LOVE and FEELING.

....... the average thai woman don't give out much after 35

In Thailand she will give you sex if you give her money, and much more frequently, and when she is over 35. (we are talking about TLL here)

Edited May 3, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[cognos]

bilobaht,

I don't agree with all you wrote, such as Thai women over 35 don't have much sex, but there is a lot of truth within your posts. For example, you are the first to write that many women who join take their profiles off when the first zillion guys start immediately writing about sex (or asking them to strip on the cam.) But this is a very true happenstance.

good point.. DO take your profile off once you have met one nice Thai lady on TLL (or wherever) and you feel there is a good chance of good things happening..most Thai ladies on TLL will quickly ask you to be just "for her".. and not mail others..or they will ask you how many others you are in contact with..( lying gets tiring, so just tell them yes, I am in contact with others, or better yet, tell the truth and say..JUST YOU)..

..for if it doesn't work with her.. just re- activate your profile and start again from square one.. I found the overwhelming factor on TLL to be quite ..well overwhelming.. here you have just met a nice Thai lady..and suddenly..another..another..another pops up out of the BLUE..mailing YOU..OH..what to DO??

signed: too many cooks spoil the broth..and 2's company, three's a crowd

[cognos]

ya.. there was one rather attractive.. slim, sexy 33 year old thai gal from Roi Et who used to..like.. to.. strip down on the web cam.. and..

signed: we live in interesting times

[GreenSnapper]

good point.. DO take your profile off once you have met one nice Thai lady on TLL (or wherever) and you feel there is a good chance of good things happening..most Thai ladies on TLL will quickly ask you to be just "for her".. and not mail others..or they will ask you how many others you are in contact with..( lying gets tiring, so just tell them yes, I am in contact with others, or better yet, tell the truth and say..JUST YOU)..

..for if it doesn't work with her.. just re- activate your profile and start again from square one.. I found the overwhelming factor on TLL to be quite ..well overwhelming.. here you have just met a nice Thai lady..and suddenly..another..another..another pops up out of the BLUE..mailing YOU..OH..what to DO??

Wrong advice.

You deactivate your profile only, when you are no longer searching.

Not one minute earlier.

It is not important if you "feel there is a good chance". Don't obey to women's demands.

In the contrary: let her know that other women are after you. All over the world this is a big turn on for women. Even for the overly jealous Thai chicks.

Let them (indirectly) know, if they treat you well, they can be the winner. If not, you can move on any day. That will save you from a lot of problems. Keep that attitude always, especially when in a relationship.

The typical questions "when did you have sex last time?" "how many Thai GF did you have?" and so on.... will never be answered. Be cocky and funny, make jokes on her questions and her attraction to you will raise enormously.

[ExpatJ]

Thai Love links is the preferred, most active site without a doubt. Worldwide multiple sister sites. Have used many, including my favorite, P/Heart.

Beware the pros working the sites for money using bogus photos, tons of them. Understand the Thais use third parties to write the profiles. I have written a dozen for girls that use my beauty shop.

Never, ever, discuss cash, monthly stipends or income. You will find a smart gal if you follow this path. My friend , R, helped me out and it worked well for me. Then I found my Isaan girl, without ever discussing money. Try it, that is the key.

you have to pay for a subscription to use Thailovelinks effectively- i find the free sites are better in any case because they have more thai women members (by far) compared to Thai links: tagged.com, myspace.com

[makescents]

you have to pay for a subscription to use Thailovelinks effectively- i find the free sites are better in any case because they have more thai women members (by far) compared to Thai links: tagged.com, myspace.com

They're not dating sites though so you have to wade through the people who aren't interested.

[makescents]

sticky-shit ( kee-niaw )

I was under the impression that the 'kee' here was a classifier to indicate a negative quality in the adjective used to describe the person being referred to.

(similar kee-giat= person lazy in a bad sort of way)

so 'kee-neow' = 'person sticky (with money) in bad sort of way'

(this 'kee' is not shit, riding, typing or uneven IMHO)

I always though kee was if you're in the habit of doing something. As in it is done daily like shitting, not always with the negative aspect.

[cognos]

good point.. DO take your profile off once you have met one nice Thai lady on TLL (or wherever) and you feel there is a good chance of good things happening..most Thai ladies on TLL will quickly ask you to be just "for her".. and not mail others..or they will ask you how many others you are in contact with..( lying gets tiring, so just tell them yes, I am in contact with others, or better yet, tell the truth and say..JUST YOU)..

..for if it doesn't work with her.. just re- activate your profile and start again from square one.. I found the overwhelming factor on TLL to be quite ..well overwhelming.. here you have just met a nice Thai lady..and suddenly..another..another..another pops up out of the BLUE..mailing YOU..OH..what to DO??

Wrong advice.

You deactivate your profile only, when you are no longer searching.

Not one minute earlier.

It is not important if you "feel there is a good chance". Don't obey to women's demands.

In the contrary: let her know that other women are after you. All over the world this is a big turn on for women. Even for the overly jealous Thai chicks.

Let them (indirectly) know, if they treat you well, they can be the winner. If not, you can move on any day. That will save you from a lot of problems. Keep that attitude always, especially when in a relationship.

The typical questions "when did you have sex last time?" "how many Thai GF did you have?" and so on.... will never be answered. Be cocky and funny, make jokes on her questions and her attraction to you will raise enormously.

Your comments make good sense..for YOU..EACH to their own in the game of LOVE..or whatever game you are into..perhaps you should reconsider and say.. "you do it your way, and I'll do it my way"..

.. instead of.. "you are wrong and I am right"..for there is no "right or wrong".. there is more than one way to skin a cat.. if your way works, MORE power to you.. mine worked for certain for me.. before and after meeting my future wife..I discovered early on that Thai women in general certainly have more of a propensity to want to stick by your side when they discover you can be "internet monogomous"..that is if one of your goals is to have them stick by your side..

.. perhaps you want quality AND quantity in terms of Thai women..hence your prerogative to continue to be in contact with others after you meet a good one.. moreover and tell her that you are.. i just wanted one quality Thai lady, and thats what happened.. its not a matter of check mate.. its a matter of choice HOW you choose to operate on the various internet systems.

.. I would temporarily suspend my membership on TLL because I believe that a bird in the hand is worth 2 or 3 in the bush..and being inundated with requests from Thai women from many quarters of Thailand..once you are on to a good one..just complicates things from my point of you..

..when you feel you are on to a good one..(perhaps you have already met her in person), why do you need plan B,C,D,E etc..when you admitted it is so easy to meet another one pronto??

..another thing..if you tell them many are interested in you, the one you like the most may just f off in search of greener pastures..perhaps for a guy who doesn't have his cyber finger on the pulse of this that and the other ( lady). Psychologically, the women may feel uncomfortable when you tell her you are still contacting several others, and my goal was to make her feel MORE comfortable and at ease..not LESS comfortable..

.. it can be a real tit for tat game.. so play your cards accordingly if you want success..

different strokes for different folks..I found my true love, (and nice Thai women before that using my way, that was evolved from trial and error)..so all i can say is I genuinely hope your way is successful for you! If not, adjust to suit your needs!

btw.. i agree with you 100% on being funny and using your sense of humour.. VERY good point..HOWEVER..I choose NOT to be cocky in these matters, but if it works for you.. fly at er'..

signed:" You take the high road and I'll take the low road.."

[bilbobaht]

good point.. DO take your profile off once you have met one nice Thai lady on TLL (or wherever) and you feel there is a good chance of good things happening..most Thai ladies on TLL will quickly ask you to be just "for her".. and not mail others..or they will ask you how many others you are in contact with..( lying gets tiring, so just tell them yes, I am in contact with others, or better yet, tell the truth and say..JUST YOU)..

..for if it doesn't work with her.. just re- activate your profile and start again from square one.. I found the overwhelming factor on TLL to be quite ..well overwhelming.. here you have just met a nice Thai lady..and suddenly..another..another..another pops up out of the BLUE..mailing YOU..OH..what to DO??

Wrong advice.

You deactivate your profile only, when you are no longer searching.

Not one minute earlier.

It is not important if you "feel there is a good chance". Don't obey to women's demands.

In the contrary: let her know that other women are after you. All over the world this is a big turn on for women. Even for the overly jealous Thai chicks.

Let them (indirectly) know, if they treat you well, they can be the winner. If not, you can move on any day. That will save you from a lot of problems. Keep that attitude always, especially when in a relationship.

The typical questions "when did you have sex last time?" "how many Thai GF did you have?" and so on.... will never be answered. Be cocky and funny, make jokes on her questions and her attraction to you will raise enormously.

Your comments make good sense..for YOU..EACH to their own in the game of LOVE..or whatever game you are into..perhaps you should reconsider and say.. "you do it your way, and I'll do it my way"..

.. instead of.. "you are wrong and I am right"..for there is no "right or wrong".. there is more than one way to skin a cat.. if your way works, MORE power to you.. mine worked for certain for me.. before and after meeting my future wife..I discovered early on that Thai women in general certainly have more of a propensity to want to stick by your side when they discover you can be "internet monogomous"..that is if one of your goals is to have them stick by your side..

.. perhaps you want quality AND quantity in terms of Thai women..hence your prerogative to continue to be in contact with others after you meet a good one.. moreover and tell her that you are.. i just wanted one quality Thai lady, and thats what happened.. its not a matter of check mate.. its a matter of choice HOW you choose to operate on the various internet systems.

.. I would temporarily suspend my membership on TLL because I believe that a bird in the hand is worth 2 or 3 in the bush..and being inundated with requests from Thai women from many quarters of Thailand..once you are on to a good one..just complicates things from my point of you..

..when you feel you are on to a good one..(perhaps you have already met her in person), why do you need plan B,C,D,E etc..when you admitted it is so easy to meet another one pronto??

..another thing..if you tell them many are interested in you, the one you like the most may just f off in search of greener pastures..perhaps for a guy who doesn't have his cyber finger on the pulse of this that and the other ( lady). Psychologically, the women may feel uncomfortable when you tell her you are still contacting several others, and my goal was to make her feel MORE comfortable and at ease..not LESS comfortable..

.. it can be a real tit for tat game.. so play your cards accordingly if you want success..

different strokes for different folks..I found my true love, (and nice Thai women before that using my way, that was evolved from trial and error)..so all i can say is I genuinely hope your way is successful for you! If not, adjust to suit your needs!

btw.. i agree with you 100% on being funny and using your sense of humour.. VERY good point..HOWEVER..I choose NOT to be cocky in these matters, but if it works for you.. fly at er'..

signed:" You take the high road and I'll take the low road.."

While personal attacks are the norm on this board, ... allow me to frame the debate. On the subject of continuing friendship after you meet the someone-special.

My wife knows I remain in contact with many female friends I have made over the years on TLL. When I post on TLL I always put "looking for friendship", I tell the girls square one first comes friendship, then maybe a relationship, and then we can talk marriage.

All too often 99% of the girls want marriage first. BAH

So I have met many good friends and my wife knows. I stay in contact with these girls and they tell me about their lives.

I'm quite happy to share the generalizations that I see.

It took a long time to find that 'good honest trusting woman', it just happened that she was a 'ten'. I had no idea, she posted a plain jane photo, and when I first met her I realized I had met the most beautiful woman I ever saw in my life. How was I to know. She played down her beauty.

WRT to other friends on TLL. A lot of college girls, girls that want advice about farangs, .. and the cold hearted that just want to share their conquest and ego. I think in the journey of woman its always good to listen to all.

So yes, when you meet the girl on TLL ( or whatever forum ) , quit your profile. By meet what I mean once you know that the two of you have made a commitment to know each other. When I met my wife to be the first thing she said long after she quit TLL, and I reconnected is "YOU MUST QUIT NOW, IF YOU WISH TO TALK WITH ME", I said fine, but I told her I would continue my existing friendships, but I did quit TLL, terminated my profile, and saught no new female friends. I sought no new friends.

On the other hand I continued to stay in touch with dozens if not 100's of very interesting people I had met. No different in my mind than the way kids use facebook.

I have ALWAYS been a one-man woman, so its never even an issue to me to meet another woman and cheat on my wife. If she were to cheat on me, our relationship would be finished, and I give her the same respect.

A good thai woman will not accept cheat. By that I mean giving your heart to another woman, I think that MOST thai women can accept the occasional exploit that men seem to do when traveling, but have enough sense to use a condom. It is of my opinion that most thai women, just want to be the "MIA NEUNG", number-1 wife. Nobody wants to be a mia-noy, ... and thus no woman wants their husband to persuse another woman on a repeat basis, e.g. seeing the same woman over & over.

For me all this is no problem, I don't want to have sex with another woman. Like we have all established, having sex with a thai woman who really loves you is far better than having sex with stranger.

With regards to continuing friendship with TLL girls, let me just say that their lives and what they do to these men is fascinating, and I'm glad to share, ...

When I say that 95% of the women on TLL are scam, what I mean is they have an agenda, and its NOT about LOVE, love in the western sense of the meaning. The agenda is no different than that of the normal girl. For everyone in Thailand wants and needs money. The difference is that 95% of no intention of giving real love to a farang. The MISSION of course is to find that 5% looking for real love, and intending to find a man who will reciprocate.

Another thing I have not seen here is the KATHOEY PROBLEM, it seems to me that 10-20% of all the women I met on TLL were lady-boyz playing out a fantasy. Most didn't even want money, they would send pic's of their 'children', and weave a life of make believe, or no other reason that the satisfaction of being the woman. For this reason I highly advise within 2 weeks of getting an email, to get their mobile, and to call at a random time and ask for your person. Listen carefully to the voice. A kathoey in form is perfect, but when you call them off guard they quite often answer the phone NOT in form. I simply found no other way to tell. They're simply a waste of my time, as I wasn't looking to marry a man.

Sure there are lots scams, like I have said, eventually even the girls who are friends I have known for over a year, they eventually ask for money.

Real number online is NEVER GIVE MONEY TO ANYONE YOU HAVE NOT MET. Follow that rule and you will be fine.

I have even met a few women other than my wife from the online world, and my wife is well aware. In all cases these 'friends' were exceptional women, that they too had found their dream-man. Having developed a good friendship I have met some. In all cases we shared what we have learned. I would never meet a woman who I did not know had not met her perfect farang already. These women were not looking to SHOP-UP like the NORM.

I really think that farang amongst us that have all met the perfect good, traditional, normal thai woman are all saying the same-same. It's just that this board cannot exist without childish antagonism. That is fine. My purpose is to share the road with those sincere farang. To tell them of the pitfalls, and to tell them there is hope. Sure 95% of the raw-rice is chaff, but even with 5% your talkin about 1,000's of women. It's easy to separate the chaff from the rice, if you are given the right information.

For those looking for sex, its always been the same. Go high up north, and find a good city where you can get a good woman to care for you and she care for you, in general it will cost less than 500 baht a day. Far less than marrying a thai woman. I certainly didn't marry my wife for sex. I think when I first made the decision to persue thai woman that was on my mind, finding a woman with 20 good road miles left and sex, after years of a sex-less farang marriage. But now on know that thai woman really are NO different than farang women. Like my wife reminds me once a week, ... "If all you want is sex, you should have married a bar-girl, she can do that thing". Her point of view is that bar-girls are bred for this thing, but normal thai girls are not. Marrying a bar-girl of course opens an enormous can of words, number one of which is that you will NEVER be a normal member of thai society.

Today in Thailand I have many upper class male friends. I can go anywhere and bring my wife without fear. When I take her with me to functions they always say "Is that your girlfriend"? and I always say no, that is my wife. In all cases they always say that I'm a lucky man for I have not only married a 'ten' by the farang standards, but a 'ten' by the standards of a thai-man

[Mossfinn]

Oh...............My.......................Goodness

[makescents]

Marrying a bar-girl of course opens an enormous can of words, number one of which is that you will NEVER be a normal member of thai society.

The whole post was great but this is the best point IMO.

[sarahsbloke]

Sure there are lots scams, like I have said, eventually even the girls who are friends I have known for over a year, they eventually ask for money.

Thais routinely ask for money from their friends of all sexes, if you have it you share it around ...... just the way the culture works.

Marrying a bar-girl of course opens an enormous can of words, number one of which is that you will NEVER be a normal member of thai society.

Newsflash ....... white men will NEVER EVER be any sort of member of Thai society no matter what they do or don't do. It's a private club and you ain't invited.

(and insulting other white men by calling them farang doesn't mean you are Thai)

Nothing wrong with bar-girls or any other sort of girl as long as you don't give them large wadges of your money, hook up with a girl you like, and one that likes you. But I agree, best not to marry a blatant prostitute (tattoos, bar talk, etc.).

bilbobaht says

I certainly didn't marry my wife for sex.

I always like to ask this of those foolish to make the above statement. If your wife suddenly announced "I will never have sex with you again" and you believed her, how long would you remain married? I would bet money on NOT LONG.

So by using LOGIC I can extrapolate that you did indeed marry the girl for sex (but are in some sort of self-denial).

(primary male reason for marriage is always regular sex, primary female reason for marriage is security or baby production, never sex)

Edited May 4, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[bonobo]

 Far less than marrying a thai woman. I certainly didn't marry my wife for sex. I think when I first made the decision to persue thai woman that was on my mind, finding a woman with 20 good road miles left and sex, after years of a sex-less farang marriage. But now on know that thai woman really are NO different than farang women. Like my wife reminds me once a week, ... "If all you want is sex, you should have married a bar-girl, she can do that thing". Her point of view is that bar-girls are bred for this thing, but normal thai girls are not. 

Some interesting points.  And I agree that Thai women are no different than Western women.  However, I assiduously disagree that that means they don't want sex.  

If you tend to give credence to study after study, women in the mid-thirties or so up to menopause want sex more than men of the same age ranges.  They may want it differently than the slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am that many men seem to prefer, but their sex drive is greater than a man's.  My own experiences certainly bear this out.  I think in every relationship I have had since my mid-thirties with women from their mid-thirties on, it has been the women who are more aggressive in expressing their need for sexual congress than me.  I am at an age where I don't need sex each and every day, but it becomes my "duty," as many have jokingly put it, to fulfill that need for them.

If anything, I would hazard a guess that bargirls are far less apt to like sex than what you refer to as "normal girls," or women who were never bargirls.  Their experiences with their bodies as a commodity might turn them off sex, I would imagine, and while they may be willing to "submit" to sex as a prerequisite to marriage, well, that is hardly the same as making love with a spouse.  I don't mean to tar all bargirls this way, and I am not writing this as a categorical truth.  I am just reflecting that it makes sense to me.

[digibum]

There is one piece of advice no one has talked about. If a woman has been with a farang previously then run away! The odds are they have fleeced the farang before and you are the next victim. Clearly, many of them will not tell you but some are so arrogant they cannot lose they will spill their guts. I found this out with with my first thai woman and if I had been smart enough to see the hand writing on the wall the loses would have been smaller. She was a real pro at emptying wallets. Met her on thai love links before coming to thailand.

I think this is horrible advice. I know plenty of great women who have and do date farang men and haven't fleeced them for a penny. Believe it or not but not every farang is a charming sap waiting to get ripped off. Many are drunks, abusers, etc. So having dated farang men in the past doesn't mean that she's a gold digger.

In fact, one girl I know very well is into the hot, young farang guys. She falls all over them and often ends up helping support them when they decide to extend their holiday in Thailand. Her last boyfriend dumped her after he said he wanted to go see Nana Plaza (had never been there before) and ended up going home with a ladyboy. The one before that she came home from work to his hotel room and found him in bed with another woman.

Here's the math:

If she's in the business of fleecing farangs she definitely has dated farangs before.

If she's not in the business of fleecing farangs she may have dated farangs before.

Hardly your "odds are" conclusion.

Plus if she is in the business of fleecing farangs then as soon as she learns she's getting shut down whenever she tells someone she's dated a farang before she'll just lie and say she hasn't.