Meeting Thai Ladies On Dating Sites: 9 Do's And Dont's

[digibum]

Just as a counter point to the folks who seem to think TLL is great, I think it used to be great but now it's a cesspool. I've maintained a membership on there for maybe 4 or 5 years (I let it lapse when I'm not using it so I'm not paying the whole time). Most of the quality women get bombarded with messages and chat requests. Unless you're creme of the crop pickings don't expect that girl with the photo that looks like she could be a Maxim model to ever get back to you. Even the Isaan village honey has tons of guys writing her.

What you will get is the second you log on you will get about 20 pop-ups from:

1. Women your age or older (and I'm north of 40)

2. The very mentally unbalanced younger women

3. Gold diggers, scam artists, and other undesirables (unless you're into gold diggers, of course)

The problem is is that the word got out to the girls. Every bar girl on Soi Cowboy has an account on TLL. Look at how many girls list Chon Buri (code word for Pattaya) in their profiles. Word up in Isaan has spread and every girl who can figure out how to use the internet is on there chatting with as many guys as they can.

Because, in the end, they're just like us. If you're in the US, Europe, Australia, etc and only can make it here one or two times a year you don't want to waste a trip meeting a non-match so (if you're like I was) you cast a wide net and try to narrow it down. So do the girls. If you're talking to 10 she's probably talking to 30 or 40. And because most of your competition are morons they'll all be trying to win her over with how much they can give her and what they'll buy her. So, she now in a highest bidder scenario. She thinks this is how it works because so many guys are willing to buy her love.

Not all girls are like this. But where a few years ago TLL used to be about 60% zeros and 40% quality, it's not more like 90% zeros and 10% quality.

If you're looking for some cheap and meaningless sex TLL might still be a good choice. If you live here in Thailand they might sleep with you once or twice before trying to get some cash. But the hassle usually isn't worth it, IMHO.

The cold hard truth is that most men have no idea how to select women. Even from some of the comments on here I see people who I know are hopeless back in their country of origin by how they go about Thai women.

So, the first thing people need to do is figure out how to treat women. Not just Thai women but women in general.

There was someone earlier in the thread talking about seeing beautiful women on the BTS but not knowing if they're married, have a boyfriend, or lesbian. You know how you find out? You ask. It's not rocket science.

Personally, I like meeting people face to face. If you live here, Thailand Friends is a great way to do it. It's probably closer to Hi5 or Facebook than TLL but with the added benefit of weekly live events. It might be bowling one week and hitting up Bed Supperclub the next. You never know.

There are also lot of other live meeting opportunities but they tend to have more of a business networking focus. And at ones like the Bangkok Trader Ladies Night, it tends to be heavily dominated by farang women (in terms of total women at the event) which may be a plus or minus to some people.

If you pick up BK Magazine or Bangkok 101 there's always something going on. You just need to find something that fits your lifestyle.

But I like meeting people in that kind of environment now that I live here. The community nature sort of filters out most of the chaff. Scammers, gold diggers, etc will get labeled pretty quickly and shunned. Not all, but most :-)

Plus once you start making friends they're not just online friends. You meet up for drinks, dinner, whatever. Even if you're not interested in someone romantically maybe they're just cool and you can hang out with them. The bonus being that they might introduce you to some of their friends too.

Personally, I think that you have your best chance of meeting quality women is by going to where the pond isn't already fished out. TLL and many of the other dating sites seem overfished.

I used to date a girl who I met via a friend (who I had met on Thailand Friends) who worked out in Rangsit. Most of her friends never came into central Bangkok and so whenever I went out with my girl and her friends they would be begging me to introduce them to a farang guy. I mean, these are all university educated women from good families making 25,000+ baht per month working office jobs. And they were all very attractive.

I would laugh and ask why they can't meet a farang guy and they would all say that it's because they don't go out a lot and don't run into many farangs in their work.

You would never find those girls trolling online dating sites. They haven't even heard of half the games that most guys complain about girls they meet online playing.

That's why, going back to the guy who was afraid to approach women he sees on the BTS or wherever, those are the kind of girls you could be missing out on. Even on sites like Thailand Friends or networking events you meet some very high quality women who would never, ever put themselves out there on an online dating site.

But, that's just the type of gal I'm looking to meet. I'm really not into the shy, quiet types. I like a girl with an education, even a little attitude. If that's not what you're looking for you'll have to adjust my suggestions to fit your "spec" but I think many of the general rules apply.

For instance, if I was looking for the village girl to be a housewife, mother, etc thing I would go spend a few months up in Isaan. It's not hard. I was up there recently and it seemed like everywhere you turned around someone was flirting. Not overtly but the look and the smile were certainly invitations to come over and talk to them. Most don't speak English but many do. If you've got some Thai language skills you would have no problem meeting women.

[bonobo]

Just as a counter point to the folks who seem to think TLL is great, I think it used to be great but now it's a cesspool. I've maintained a membership on there for maybe 4 or 5 years (I let it lapse when I'm not using it so I'm not paying the whole time). Most of the quality women get bombarded with messages and chat requests. Unless you're creme of the crop pickings don't expect that girl with the photo that looks like she could be a Maxim model to ever get back to you. Even the Isaan village honey has tons of guys writing her.

What you will get is the second you log on you will get about 20 pop-ups from:

1. Women your age or older (and I'm north of 40)

2. The very mentally unbalanced younger women

3. Gold diggers, scam artists, and other undesirables (unless you're into gold diggers, of course)

The problem is is that the word got out to the girls. Every bar girl on Soi Cowboy has an account on TLL. Look at how many girls list Chon Buri (code word for Pattaya) in their profiles. Word up in Isaan has spread and every girl who can figure out how to use the internet is on there chatting with as many guys as they can.

...

I am not disagreeing with your views.  And for someone who lives here, that might make sense for men who are of that personality set.

However, what about a guy who doesn't live her but will come on his vacation and hopes to meet someone?  Or what about a guy who is frankly too shy in person and needs the security of his computer screen to open up?

For these guys, I think internet dating sites offer the most valid method of getting to know a Thai woman.  I can't think of any other way for men in this position.

[digibum]

I am not disagreeing with your views.  And for someone who lives here, that might make sense for men who are of that personality set.

However, what about a guy who doesn't live her but will come on his vacation and hopes to meet someone?  Or what about a guy who is frankly too shy in person and needs the security of his computer screen to open up?

For these guys, I think internet dating sites offer the most valid method of getting to know a Thai woman.  I can't think of any other way for men in this position.

Having been in the "not living here" camp before I know what you mean.

But I still think meeting people in a social setting is the way to go. Maybe it's just me.

It does take some time to become part of a community and or make friends from afar but finding a woman shouldn't be like buying a book on Amazon (IMHO). Like I said, I've been there and done that with the long-distance online dating stuff. It's not all bad but I'm really not sure how spending 3 months meeting girls to whittle the list down to 1 or 2 girls to come meet in Thailand and then to meet them and figure out that there's no chemistry is any more time efficient than any other method.

It may be the best solution if you're not here in Thailand but it's still a pretty bad choice.

As far as being shy . . . that's something you can control. Get over it or accept that you're not going to meet a lot of quality women.

[bonobo]

I am not disagreeing with your views.  And for someone who lives here, that might make sense for men who are of that personality set.

However, what about a guy who doesn't live her but will come on his vacation and hopes to meet someone?  Or what about a guy who is frankly too shy in person and needs the security of his computer screen to open up?

For these guys, I think internet dating sites offer the most valid method of getting to know a Thai woman.  I can't think of any other way for men in this position.

Having been in the "not living here" camp before I know what you mean.

But I still think meeting people in a social setting is the way to go. Maybe it's just me.

It does take some time to become part of a community and or make friends from afar but finding a woman shouldn't be like buying a book on Amazon (IMHO). Like I said, I've been there and done that with the long-distance online dating stuff. It's not all bad but I'm really not sure how spending 3 months meeting girls to whittle the list down to 1 or 2 girls to come meet in Thailand and then to meet them and figure out that there's no chemistry is any more time efficient than any other method.

It may be the best solution if you're not here in Thailand but it's still a pretty bad choice.

As far as being shy . . . that's something you can control. Get over it or accept that you're not going to meet a lot of quality women.

Personally, when I used ThaiLoveLinks, I was looking for a woman who was a university graduate and who wanted a kid.  Those were my two screening factors.  And that was about it.  Once the initial e-mails or two was sent, once we spoke on the phone, we met and went the social interaction route.  I don't believe you can find your wife on an internet site--but you can find a potential wife.  What I mean is, you can't go by electrons alone and be ready to marry.  You have to actually meet in a social setting and go from there.

[GreenSnapper]

Your comments make good sense..for YOU..EACH to their own in the game of LOVE..or whatever game you are into..perhaps you should reconsider and say.. "you do it your way, and I'll do it my way"..

.. instead of.. "you are wrong and I am right"..for there is no "right or wrong"..

Well, your opening posting states "9 Do's and Dont's". You set up some rules and those rules I'm critisizing. Nothing against you personally, cognos, you are certainly a nice guy and found your luck.

But you didn't do your homework. My position here is not only my own experience, but those of many men who did serious research into dating, seduction and female psychology. The question is: what works and what does not work. Right is, what works, wrong is, what does not.

But there are always exceptions to the rule. Especially when it comes to human interaction. You can only optimize your chances.

I'm not going more into detail, because there are dozens of books and website which teach the basics.

But do your homework and you will have (more) success with women.

[digibum]

Personally, when I used ThaiLoveLinks, I was looking for a woman who was a university graduate and who wanted a kid.  Those were my two screening factors.  And that was about it.  Once the initial e-mails or two was sent, once we spoke on the phone, we met and went the social interaction route.  I don't believe you can find your wife on an internet site--but you can find a potential wife.  What I mean is, you can't go by electrons alone and be ready to marry.  You have to actually meet in a social setting and go from there.

I couldn't possibly agree more.

Plus, I think it takes more than one two week love holiday and some chat. But again, that's just me.

[cognos]

I want to thank you for the thoughtful input TV folks, you know who you are. i respect your views, (and you as people) even when they are slightly different than my own. I learned a long time ago that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and I fit in this category from time to time...

Hopefully we will meet in person one day at a TV function..too bad I don't like to party anymore.. but maybe thats a good thing, as I could get too "talkative" and exuberant after some beers, and ..well.. you know what they say about first impresssions..but I would be pleased to buy YOU a few cold ones..

.. anyway.. it all worked out well in the end.. this internet dating thing.. here she is in Canada, with me under the tree, and her with some of her new friends she met here..

..cheers

[MidoriApple]

From what I have seen, If they are 30+ and "conservative", the ball never gets rolling. They have spent most or all of their adult life "keeping a lid on it". I never saw one change.

When most women get into their 30's, their estrogen levels start dropping, and they become more sexually charged. So they have a higher sex drive than they did when they were younger. And there is the emotional aspect of loneliness or the idea that they are missing their window for children. For many reasons, a significant number of Thai women who were "conservative" when they were younger open up and discover and then explore the sexual aspect of life.

What they are after, by the way, is money. Love and sex they can get from a Thai man.

Some, undoubtedly. Or some feel Thai men cannot be trusted to remain monogamous. Or some want a half-white baby. Or some are attracted to the exotic (just as Western women(and men) are). Or some get caught up in the Hollywood love stories. Or some have a friend/sister/cousin who married a foreigner and is happy. Or whatever.

Writing what they all "are after" is just as incorrect as to write that all Western men who come to Thailand are motivated by the same thing and pursue that in the same way.

I did not mean by use of the word "they" to mean all Thai women. What I meant was a high percentage of Thai women, who have relationships with foreigners. Thai to Thai is a whole different "kettle of fish". As for the over 30 woman you describe, I never met such. Most over 30 I have seen here are as conservative as my old maid auntie and much more "fussy" as to the requirements of a Farang partner, in terms of age, appearance, and financial resources, than a 20 something. The over 30's give me quite a "going-over" (in terms of what they expect), which I do not get from a younger one.

This is quite long reading here and shamed that I have too few time,

what I can do now, I just roughly read and will make some comments here. (since it was my intention when many days ago..)

But promise, will read them all later... hope this will be ok.

Bonobo and a2396.. I think you both have quite good and correct observations about Thai women...Seems having soooooo many experiences, I guess..

Anyways, this will not mean we can be stereotype about Thai women, it is just the same as other nations that

Thai are varies by each own ages, educations, career, personal backgrounds, financial status...etc...

I can be one kind of Thai woman at age 30++, I was in dating websites before; ThaiLoveLinks and ChineseLoveLinks

I was just broken up with my ex-BF that time, he is Thai and has been only one for me (til now), been 11years and 4months getting together.

That time I would need someone really different, so had turned to foreigner.

I don't go out drinking, for me it is hard to find foreign friends, so dating website should be best way for me.

With my qualifications; never been married, of course no kid, I am self-employed and have sufficient self-financial status.

My appearance is average, my self-confidence has supported me to be in a little above of that average level.

I have uni.education and can be improved in all English skills for communication.

For me, it's not too hard to find right man, yes I guess I have found..

My first time in dating website was not good, I was talked down about my English skill,

I had arguments with a westerner, I thought it was unfair, English is not my native language, so sometimes I could do mistake.

I (had to) wrote the complaints to this man in my profile page in the web, so many could read my writing.

From that incident, I got lots of sympathy from other members, but I was reported abuse also.

I closed my membership after 3 days being there, have got one platonic friend back home.

The disaster has turned to be my advantage, I was inspired to improve my English skills.

So again in ChineseLoveLinks in last year, this time I was member for about 3 weeks.

I got 3 westerners to communicate with in the same time (they all know), I have already met them all in persons,

I think I am just lucky to find they are all decent persons, we have remained being genuine so far.

- One of them become my best friend.

- One all the times has given me good advices about life, he is so calm and been-there-done-that kind of person.

- The last one seem the most serious in relationship, I was asked for commitment.....but.....

this is not ended happily, the problem is me. The more I learnt from having more relationships, more I prefer being independence.

I have wondered if I will be ready for making any commitment (seem I will not), I see no difference between Thai man and other nations

With this man, I see many obstacles, the distance between us, he cannot come and I will not go living in his country.

Also the culture difference, and a lot of changes I will have, if I will commit with him.

Umm...dunno what to do now, I will just go with the flow, I guess. Anything can be happened, I will just be ready for that.

As many said in here about the physical relationship, it has to be healthy --- I do agree with. but I want more ...

the mental relationship has to be very much healthy too, I will want to be with someone I can talk to...can share my life to..

Not easy to find, actually.

This is my whole story, I found dating website is good more than bad for me, but this is really individual.

I was quite straight forward for my needs in there and made no lie,

I have opened mind that people are different, some could be good and some could be really bad,

I was just took time to find the right one for me, just that.

IMO there are many of gold-diggers and sex-hunters in dating website, for me they are same kind of persons, with no judging for their good and bad.

Some men are there to be digged obviously, seen a lot when reading some profiles, all said about money..and money they have... I felt very much funny.

Some girls just done masturbation in front of webcam for free, (my best friend told me)

Oh... crazy....(I am speechless)...haha...

[Markaew]

Just as a counter point to the folks who seem to think TLL is great, I think it used to be great but now it's a cesspool. I've maintained a membership on there for maybe 4 or 5 years (I let it lapse when I'm not using it so I'm not paying the whole time). Most of the quality women get bombarded with messages and chat requests. Unless you're creme of the crop pickings don't expect that girl with the photo that looks like she could be a Maxim model to ever get back to you. Even the Isaan village honey has tons of guys writing her.

What you will get is the second you log on you will get about 20 pop-ups from:

1. Women your age or older (and I'm north of 40)

2. The very mentally unbalanced younger women

3. Gold diggers, scam artists, and other undesirables (unless you're into gold diggers, of course)

The problem is is that the word got out to the girls. Every bar girl on Soi Cowboy has an account on TLL. Look at how many girls list Chon Buri (code word for Pattaya) in their profiles. Word up in Isaan has spread and every girl who can figure out how to use the internet is on there chatting with as many guys as they can.

Because, in the end, they're just like us. If you're in the US, Europe, Australia, etc and only can make it here one or two times a year you don't want to waste a trip meeting a non-match so (if you're like I was) you cast a wide net and try to narrow it down. So do the girls. If you're talking to 10 she's probably talking to 30 or 40. And because most of your competition are morons they'll all be trying to win her over with how much they can give her and what they'll buy her. So, she now in a highest bidder scenario. She thinks this is how it works because so many guys are willing to buy her love.

Not all girls are like this. But where a few years ago TLL used to be about 60% zeros and 40% quality, it's not more like 90% zeros and 10% quality.

If you're looking for some cheap and meaningless sex TLL might still be a good choice. If you live here in Thailand they might sleep with you once or twice before trying to get some cash. But the hassle usually isn't worth it, IMHO.

The cold hard truth is that most men have no idea how to select women. Even from some of the comments on here I see people who I know are hopeless back in their country of origin by how they go about Thai women.

So, the first thing people need to do is figure out how to treat women. Not just Thai women but women in general.

There was someone earlier in the thread talking about seeing beautiful women on the BTS but not knowing if they're married, have a boyfriend, or lesbian. You know how you find out? You ask. It's not rocket science.

Personally, I like meeting people face to face. If you live here, Thailand Friends is a great way to do it. It's probably closer to Hi5 or Facebook than TLL but with the added benefit of weekly live events. It might be bowling one week and hitting up Bed Supperclub the next. You never know.

There are also lot of other live meeting opportunities but they tend to have more of a business networking focus. And at ones like the Bangkok Trader Ladies Night, it tends to be heavily dominated by farang women (in terms of total women at the event) which may be a plus or minus to some people.

If you pick up BK Magazine or Bangkok 101 there's always something going on. You just need to find something that fits your lifestyle.

But I like meeting people in that kind of environment now that I live here. The community nature sort of filters out most of the chaff. Scammers, gold diggers, etc will get labeled pretty quickly and shunned. Not all, but most :-)

Plus once you start making friends they're not just online friends. You meet up for drinks, dinner, whatever. Even if you're not interested in someone romantically maybe they're just cool and you can hang out with them. The bonus being that they might introduce you to some of their friends too.

Personally, I think that you have your best chance of meeting quality women is by going to where the pond isn't already fished out. TLL and many of the other dating sites seem overfished.

I used to date a girl who I met via a friend (who I had met on Thailand Friends) who worked out in Rangsit. Most of her friends never came into central Bangkok and so whenever I went out with my girl and her friends they would be begging me to introduce them to a farang guy. I mean, these are all university educated women from good families making 25,000+ baht per month working office jobs. And they were all very attractive.

I would laugh and ask why they can't meet a farang guy and they would all say that it's because they don't go out a lot and don't run into many farangs in their work.

You would never find those girls trolling online dating sites. They haven't even heard of half the games that most guys complain about girls they meet online playing.

That's why, going back to the guy who was afraid to approach women he sees on the BTS or wherever, those are the kind of girls you could be missing out on. Even on sites like Thailand Friends or networking events you meet some very high quality women who would never, ever put themselves out there on an online dating site.

But, that's just the type of gal I'm looking to meet. I'm really not into the shy, quiet types. I like a girl with an education, even a little attitude. If that's not what you're looking for you'll have to adjust my suggestions to fit your "spec" but I think many of the general rules apply.

For instance, if I was looking for the village girl to be a housewife, mother, etc thing I would go spend a few months up in Isaan. It's not hard. I was up there recently and it seemed like everywhere you turned around someone was flirting. Not overtly but the look and the smile were certainly invitations to come over and talk to them. Most don't speak English but many do. If you've got some Thai language skills you would have no problem meeting women.

What you are saying makes a lot of sense. What I don't agree with in some of these other post is to just go ahead and buy a house for her and give generous amounts of money per month. Some of you must have plenty of money to sling around. No matter how much money I have, I wouldn't give people houses and supplement their income because it was the traditional thing to do.

I agree you should ask how much money they are making because that is what they are going to ask you for per month. I also believe that if you have a traditional thai wife she will want to traditionally give money to her parents. There is niche that most guys don't think about. In large thai families there is almost always a black sheep where there is nothing wrong with this daughter but the family seems to want to pick on this girl. She is far less inclined to give money to her parents as a result. So asking a girl about her family can be very important. I don't need a big thai family with dozens of cousins, brothers, and sisters. I found this type of girl and it has worked out great for me. I send no money to the parents or family and she is ok with that.

[sarahsbloke]

MidoriApple says

this is not ended happily, the problem is me. The more I learnt from having more relationships, more I prefer being independence.

I have wondered if I will be ready for making any commitment (seem I will not), I see no difference between Thai man and other nations

With this man, I see many obstacles, the distance between us, he cannot come and I will not go living in his country.

Also the culture difference, and a lot of changes I will have, if I will commit with him.

Umm...dunno what to do now, I will just go with the flow, I guess. Anything can be happened, I will just be ready for that.

SB says

The problem is NOT you, the problem is you haven't met the right guy YET.

There is a man suitable for every woman you just need to make that extra effort to meet each other.

Edited May 9, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[cognos]

hey digibum.. i agree with you.. its " best " to meet Thai women face to face if you are in LOS..in a shopping mall, for example.. just approaching them and saying HI if they smile at you or make eye contact.. HOWEVER.. ( as Bonobo stated) if you are overseas like I was sometimes internet is the only way..if you insist on having a Thai women "waiting" for you when you get there..

.. but face to face, at least if you are a bum man (I love Thai women's rear ends.. in fact lets expand that.. i love ASIAN women's bums )you can see their bum, which you usually can't do online. I dig a nice bum.. and I like your avatar as a result ( digibum)

signed: internet pics sometimes gives them a bum rap

[BlackArtemis]

hey digibum.. i agree with you.. its " best " to meet Thai women face to face if you are in LOS..in a shopping mall, for example.. just approaching them and saying HI if they smile at you or make eye contact.. HOWEVER.. ( as Bonobo stated) if you are overseas like I was sometimes internet is the only way..if you insist on having a Thai women "waiting" for you when you get there..

.. but face to face, at least if you are a bum man (I love Thai women's rear ends.. in fact lets expand that.. i love ASIAN women's bums )you can see their bum, which you usually can't do online. I dig a nice bum.. and I like your avatar as a result ( digibum)

signed: internet pics sometimes gives them a bum rap

This is the truth. hel_l even Thai guys don't do this enough. When I go out with my Thai friends the guys will just sit back and drink and talk about some of the girls but never do anything. Is the word "no" or "mai-ow" really that scary?

[tropo]

You've left out what I consider to be the most important "Do" of all.

Make sure you see your internet "date" on a webcam as soon as possible, and by soon I mean the very next day otherwise you could be wasting a lot of time chatting to someone who has used someone else's photo.

A friend of mine thought he found a good one who was living in a provincial town in Mindanao, Philippines. He didn't realise until my gf picked it out that she was using the photos of a Thai FHM #1 girl. She also picked out some other girls on the dating site who were using the photos of Philippine actresses and models.

I had to laugh when I read your point #10:

"7. Do have a precise "shopping list", and don't waver..for example, if you want to meet a university grad without kids, stick to that."

My friend above wanted a 25 plus girl with NO kids. He's now fallen in love with a 35 year old Columbian "divorcee" with 2 grown children....and marrying her in August.

Talk about changing the game plan.

Edited May 9, 2010 by tropo

[bonobo]

MidoriApple,

Thanks for sharing!  It is good to read from the perspective of a Thai woman who has used dating sites. 

As an aside, I have a friend back in the US who calls me her "gay friend."  This is not a slam on me nor on any gender preference.  What she means is that I am a close male friend with whom sexual interaction is just not in the cards, and consequently, she feels free to frankly talk to me about anything.  I am a male foil for her on which she can ask for a male perspective on anything in her life without worrying about the dating game and courting-type posturing, so-to-speak.

I would imagine that many men here who advertise on dating sites aimed at Thai women would do well to have their own "gay friend," a Thai woman to read their profile to see how they might be received by other Thai women reading it, and to whom they can bounce ideas off.  WIth no data from which to draw this, I would still hazard that some pretty good men have problems finding the right woman simply because of cultural differences and how their dating site profile might come across (while if they met in real life, the outcome might be far more positive.)

So reading MidoriApple's post is one small step to see a few aspects which might be of concern to at least one THai woman (and by inference, to more than just one.)

[TAWP]

I want to thank you for the thoughtful input TV folks, you know who you are. i respect your views, (and you as people) even when they are slightly different than my own. I learned a long time ago that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and I fit in this category from time to time...

Hopefully we will meet in person one day at a TV function..too bad I don't like to party anymore.. but maybe thats a good thing, as I could get too "talkative" and exuberant after some beers, and ..well.. you know what they say about first impresssions..but I would be pleased to buy YOU a few cold ones..

.. anyway.. it all worked out well in the end.. this internet dating thing.. here she is in Canada, with me under the tree, and her with some of her new friends she met here..

..cheers

I am sure you are a great guy and she is [a great gal] too. At the same time I think you two look like a typical mixed couple from here (age-diff, looks etc). I'm not sure what I am trying to say with that. I just made a note...

As long as people are happy it is great, and I mean both parties.

[473geo]

There are far too many diverse generalisations/personal experience influenced advice to even try and decipher the best route through the internet dating maze.............

My input, I believe in a certain amount of 'fate'........you connect with someone because you meet them in person at some place in time......any friendship/ relationship is a natural development of that intial connection, and subsequent meetings

I guess my opinion is you need to be there..........I do not believe an internet connection provides the same spark as that feeling of mutual attraction on meeting someone in person for the first time

But I can also accept internet dating clearly works for some.....just not for me

[cognos]

You've left out what I consider to be the most important "Do" of all.

Make sure you see your internet "date" on a webcam as soon as possible, and by soon I mean the very next day otherwise you could be wasting a lot of time chatting to someone who has used someone else's photo.

A friend of mine thought he found a good one who was living in a provincial town in Mindanao, Philippines. He didn't realise until my gf picked it out that she was using the photos of a Thai FHM #1 girl. She also picked out some other girls on the dating site who were using the photos of Philippine actresses and models.

I had to laugh when I read your point #10:

"7. Do have a precise "shopping list", and don't waver..for example, if you want to meet a university grad without kids, stick to that."

My friend above wanted a 25 plus girl with NO kids. He's now fallen in love with a 35 year old Columbian "divorcee" with 2 grown children....and marrying her in August.

Talk about changing the game plan.

good point.. and very true in most cases..in my case, the future wife used recent pics, and there was no web cam involved.. but curiously enough..one time I chatted with a Thai lady from Kanchanaburi on web cam several times.. she was..beautiful.. and then another time.. she looked..well."ugly"... what a turnaround!!(perhaps after asking for money??) I could never figure that one out

perceptions change I guess, but that quick??