Meeting Thai Ladies On Dating Sites: 9 Do's And Dont's

[cognos]

1. Use a recent picture, not one 3 or 5 years old (that looks good) from October 2005..

2. To avoid being overwhelmed, like a kid in a candy store with 3 baht, stick to plan A

3. Plan A: Narrow the ladies down to ONE good one ( see #2)

4. If you insist on Plan B ( and C), perhaps you could formulate a type of graph, for their web site # and "name", their real name, some short pertinent personal info, phone number, dates when you mailed her, her you, one color for in and one color for out mail so you aren't mailing her before she mails you back.. ( but don't do this, see #2 and #3)

5. Do be honest, don't embellish your...statistics..

6. Do communicate with one for a month or so, then, go on a good cheap phone service and talk to them frequently..after a few months, get your assss over to LOS A.S.A.P.

7. Do have a precise "shopping list", and don't waver..for example, if you want to meet a university grad without kids, stick to that.

8. Let THEM mail you first ( they will, hehe)..unless she is sooooo gorgeous you cannot help yourself (see#9)

9. Avoid the stunner 10's if at all possible.. for they are in GREAT demand, by the good and not so good guys..Do persue the 8's and 9's with good hearts!!

10...on to you and your good additions..

[cognos]

btw, if plan A doesn't pan out and you are in LOS, just go meet a new one QUICK at a massage place, Big C, food stall, 7-11..ANYWHERE.. !! ..the pain of the first loss is only VERY temporary..

signed: more than one way to skin a cat

[tuky]

12.. make sure you realise you are only one of 50 other blokes she is talking to and be prepared to hand over a few fun coupons if you plan on actually meeting.

13.. If you are sertious about meeting her, make sure you are the highest bidder with the least amount of expectations of her.

I met a bird on one of those dating sights, she ran a small english school in KK, she set up profiles for all her english students (Uni girls) and she did all the corresponding with the 'marks' on the girls behalf. The girls all had local boyfriends, and they all had a dozen or so foreigners they were trying to lure and lighten their wallets. It was interesting some of the stories she told me, some girls would sometimes have 3 or 4 foreigners visiting them at the same time, they would have to create some kind of schedule with reasons why she cant meet this guy at that time on that day etc etc, usually because she had "class" at that time. They can be very ingenious.

I actually took this bird to a TV party at FC's in Surin. So some of you may have met her.

She told me all the tricks of the trade, it is predominatly (not all girls, i must admit) an online brothel.

If you do use one of these siute just be aware of what you are really getting into.

[GrahamF]

14. Make sure you have two sim cards for your phone and a backup hotel at least a few miles away if you have to disappear quickly.

[kuma]

interested to know, what are the best sites? never tried before (being local it did not seem necessary) but now want to see what its all about. I heard Hi5 was one but not sure.

[tuky]

Check out the google ads on this very page.

[a2396]

I spent about 6 months on one the most popular sites. In that time, I got over 200 phone numbers. 95% could not speak ANY English. Some wanted money even before I met them. Others were looking for marriage only and were insisting I meet the family after one meeting with them. Most are looking for young, rich & handsome for marriage. A few may offer play for pay. One wanted 20,000 bht per mo another 15,000 per mo. Non-negotiable. Good luck. You will be spending a bit of time at it. Maybe better if you live in BKK, which I do not.

[Shotime]

Don't expect a long-term relationship with a woman you meet on the hotel elevator.

[cognos]

interested to know, what are the best sites? never tried before (being local it did not seem necessary) but now want to see what its all about. I heard Hi5 was one but not sure.

Thai love links.com .. its a big "store", with all sorts of ladies, from A to Z, good, bad and indifferent.

...but really, I believe that more are good than not, and certainly all of them are just trying to improve their lives. Who can blame them for that? Aren't we all in that business of self improvement?

another one..Do cancel or temporarly suspend your membership if you find a lady you like, as you will probably continue to be inundated with mail, and it is not fair to either party ( anyone) if you are "taken" and pretend that you are not.

[IanForbes]

All I ask is why would a guy who would rank below a #5 (on a 1 to 10 scale) expect to catch a #8 or higher gal if he wasn't very wealthy and willing to give most of it away? Wealthy guys usually get that way by being smart. Too bad the little head starts doing the thinking when it comes to women.

There is nothing wrong with internet dating sites if all you want is a big laugh and have lots of time to waste. But, if I was desperate for company, which I'm not, then I'd probably use one of the sites. I'm sure there are some specialized forums where women are active participants and you can get to know someone on an informal basis that might lead to a relationship. Most of my good fishing friends were met through fishing forums.

[a2396]

interested to know, what are the best sites? never tried before (being local it did not seem necessary) but now want to see what its all about. I heard Hi5 was one but not sure.

hi5 is in Thai only.

[a2396]

12.. make sure you realise you are only one of 50 other blokes she is talking to and be prepared to hand over a few fun coupons if you plan on actually meeting.

13.. If you are sertious about meeting her, make sure you are the highest bidder with the least amount of expectations of her.

I met a bird on one of those dating sights, she ran a small english school in KK, she set up profiles for all her english students (Uni girls) and she did all the corresponding with the 'marks' on the girls behalf. The girls all had local boyfriends, and they all had a dozen or so foreigners they were trying to lure and lighten their wallets. It was interesting some of the stories she told me, some girls would sometimes have 3 or 4 foreigners visiting them at the same time, they would have to create some kind of schedule with reasons why she cant meet this guy at that time on that day etc etc, usually because she had "class" at that time. They can be very ingenious.

I actually took this bird to a TV party at FC's in Surin. So some of you may have met her.

She told me all the tricks of the trade, it is predominatly (not all girls, i must admit) an online brothel.

If you do use one of these siute just be aware of what you are really getting into.

Good advice. A lot of what you describe is going on. It takes a bit of time to sort out the few honest ones. They are not numerous.

[bonobo]

THere are plenty of fine women on the dating sites, just as there are plenty of fine men who really want a relationship.  There are both male and female ThaiVisa members, for example, on one major site and who seem to be honest, earnest people.

THere are also women on the sites who really are fishing for money and men who are looking for serial sexual conquests.

For that reason, I seriously disagree with the OP's suggestion to stick with one, and to write for months, for that matter.  I believe that you cast a wide net.  Write a number of others, then focus on the ones which tickle your fancy for whatever reason.  You will begin to winnow down the huge number to a much smaller number of potential matches pretty quick.

And here is why I don't hold much with long, drawn out internet courtships.  In my humble opinion, you can pretty much find out most of what you can in a relatively short period of time.  THen you have to meet in person to see if there really is an attraction, mentally, physically, and emotionally.  

All of this is especially true if you are writing from another country and expect to come here for a visit.  Write 200 or 300, then narrow the field down to 4, 5 or whatever of potential matches.  THen come and meet them in person at a mall or something, preferably in the daytime.  See who floats your boat.

As one bit of screening, in your own profile, but a few hard-and-fast prerequisites for you, and then stick by them no matter how attractive another person may be.  Maybe for you, that is children, education, language ability, or whatever.  But stick to those.  Use them as a tool to screen out people who really have no potential to be your match.  If you really want kids, but the other person does not, then no matter how attractive that person is, then you really won't be happy with him or her.

I personally have made three serious relationships and several friendships in Thailand through dating sites.  All three women are from or live in Bangkok, have university degrees, work, and are serious in relationships.  My first is still a good friend, is now married to a German, and is pregnant as I write this.  My third is with me now.

I also drove to Udon to meet a woman who set my alarm bells aringing, and I found out that she was writing over 100 men in an attempt to extract money (surprisingly successful, from what I learned later.)  The last I heard, she did get married to a Brit and is in a bad situation back in England.  I also met a girl in Surin who turned out to be 8 1/2 months pregnant, much to my surprise as I drove up.

I also have had very bad dates in my life wich had nothing to do with dating sites.  Not every date turns out well, or we would all only date once before getting married.  It is all about sifting through the chaff to get to the kernel you need.

[centrico]

1) Tell them you are old, no family and stinking rich. Looking for something (insert preferences here). That you are sex crazed and take viagra twice a day. See what happens. Tose that reject you may be worth chasing up with another profile.

[ExpatJ]

interested to know, what are the best sites? never tried before (being local it did not seem necessary) but now want to see what its all about. I heard Hi5 was one but not sure.

Thai love links.com .. its a big "store", with all sorts of ladies, from A to Z, good, bad and indifferent.

...but really, I believe that more are good than not, and certainly all of them are just trying to improve their lives. Who can blame them for that? Aren't we all in that business of self improvement?

another one..Do cancel or temporarly suspend your membership if you find a lady you like, as you will probably continue to be inundated with mail, and it is not fair to either party ( anyone) if you are "taken" and pretend that you are not.

Dont use thailovelinks you have to pay for membership which is crazy when there are so many free dating sites out there tagged myspace, badoo dateinasia all of which have more members than thailovelinks.

[bonobo]

1) Tell them you are old, no family and stinking rich. Looking for something (insert preferences here). That you are sex crazed and take viagra twice a day. See what happens. Tose that reject you may be worth chasing up with another profile.

[Zstarx]

Watch out for the odd Ladyboy

[jfchandler]

I think a lot depends on whether the guy involved in living in LOS, or elsewhere and just looking to visit...

If you're abroad, and doing the long distance chatting or whatever thing, I think spending too much time with any one woman online whom you don't actually know in person is bad.... Because in my experience, you can use the online method to screen potential prospects... But you can't really know if someone is worth a relationship until you've met in person and spent some time together.

Back when I was still looking and living in the U.S., I had quite a few online exchanges that made me think that person would be a great mate. And then later when we met in person, for one reason or another, the chemistry was totally different.

If I had to do it over again, I'd only be serious about looking just in the maybe 2-3 months before coming to Thailand, and then plan to actually meet whomever I thought was the best of the group. That way, you don't waste too much of your or her time, before you both actually see if there's anything worthwhile.

As for Thai women who are potential mates for farang, in general, especially those who are online, I'd say fall into 3 general categories.

1 - those looking to get paid on a nighly basis...

2 - those looking for a relationship that involves a monthly salary in one form or another.

3 - those looking for a good relationship and future husband...

In my experience, the largest group is likely to be #2, followed by #1, and then those in #3 being the rarer, harder to find types..

That said, after a lot of looking, a lot of meetings, a few stabs at relationships, I found a good one from group #3, and we recently had our one year anniversary for living together in BKK... Met her thru the ThaiKisses web site, which in my experience (and not just because I met my mate there) probably had a generally better group of women... Meaning, before I settled down, I think I met more women from there who seemed like decent sorts that I'd found elsewhere.

It's funny... I too once met a lady upcountry who was running a local English and computer tutoring program for Thais and she was doing the same for her female students, setting up online profiles for them and doing email and chat corresponding for them in English with farangs, since most of her students weren't capable of doing it themselves. She's now married and living in New Zealand, pretty happily, with a nice guy... My GF and I attended their wedding here in Thailand...

Back in the past, whenever I used to get depressed about the proportion of Thai women out there who seemed to be gold-diggers, I'd always think, they probably are about equal in number to the proportion of farang guys who come to Thailand just looking for quick and easy sex... Funny how those kinds of thing parallel each other....

[makescents]

interested to know, what are the best sites? never tried before (being local it did not seem necessary) but now want to see what its all about. I heard Hi5 was one but not sure.

hi5 is in Thai only.

No it's not. They're an American firm that just happens to be popular in Asia; getting killed by facebook as of late.

I use Camfrog, at least you get to see the person, but it takes ages to filter out a potential partner.

[franzzz]

one thing i dont like about camfrog is that one requierment is you sorta have to look like a frog- and by golly- most of the thai girls do!

[jazzbo]

One situation that using the online computer sites precludes is meeting a Thai woman who -- for whatever reason -- until she met you never considered hooking up with a Western guy in the first place.

[cognos]

All I ask is why would a guy who would rank below a #5 (on a 1 to 10 scale) expect to catch a #8 or higher gal if he wasn't very wealthy and willing to give most of it away? Wealthy guys usually get that way by being smart. Too bad the little head starts doing the thinking when it comes to women.

There is nothing wrong with internet dating sites if all you want is a big laugh and have lots of time to waste. But, if I was desperate for company, which I'm not, then I'd probably use one of the sites. I'm sure there are some specialized forums where women are active participants and you can get to know someone on an informal basis that might lead to a relationship. Most of my good fishing friends were met through fishing forums.

the best way to meet thai women is just go to thailand and meet them in person wherever..however...meeting them on the internet is an alternative for those that have never been there yet and want to have someone waiting for them when they arrive, plain and simple

[BlackArtemis]

15. Realize that Thai Dating sites are full of beautiful wholesome, honest women who only want genuine love from someone far older, uglier, and fatter than themselves. To ensure a good life together help out a Nigerian prince transfer money so that you can have $20million USD for a sizable 'sin sod' and be able to not only pay for your family's sick buffalo, but the entire village.

[tuky]

Because in my experience, you can use the online method to screen potential prospects... But you can't really know if someone is worth a relationship until you've met in person and spent some time together.

As for Thai women who are potential mates for farang, in general, especially those who are online, I'd say fall into 3 general categories.

1 - those looking to get paid on a nighly basis...

2 - those looking for a relationship that involves a monthly salary in one form or another.

3 - those looking for a good relationship and future husband...

In my experience, the largest group is likely to be #2, followed by #1, and then those in #3 being the rarer, harder to find types..

You are correct.

I wonder what % of number 1 and number 2 candidates are actually the real person doing the corresponding. I was swapping messages with one girl in KK for a long while before I realised the person I was talking to was actually the operator of a small english language school/translation service. She took a cut of any moneies the girls made from their meetings with farang men. She told me the best were the Japanese guys as they were not all lovey dovey as farang men can get, they knew the score and paid more handsomely without the emotional attachement many farang men seem to hold on the girls.

It was all volentary on the girls part, most could not speak english very well if at all, so she was just a facilitator, but I did wonder how she slept at night setting these farang blokes up for such a fall. Most of the emails and messages were full of declarations of love for the girl the farang guy had never even met. It was quite interesting whilst very sad at the same time.

[franzzz]

for some reason japanese guys just dont see much of a future with 2nd grade educated poevrty stricken gals with 3 kids and a poverty level family to boot.

go figguRe!

[GreenSnapper]

Rule No. 1: Don't waste time!

Never do any extended emailing, chatting etc. It is a total waste of time doing this with a stranger. Instead: meet up as soon as possible. Just 1-2 hours in a coffee shop. This short meeting is much more worth than weeks of chatting and mailing.

Rule No. 2: Take her to bed at the third meeting.

If you are a healthy normal man, you don't want to waste time on this too. I normally go for the second meeting, but if she shows promising attitudes, I give her another chance at the third meeting. Don't wait any longer: there are lots of psychos there who just want to abuse you for having some entertainment and free meals. And those who hold back with sex will also do it in a later relationship or use sex to gain something from you. Both is not what you want, so move on quickly after the 3rd meeting.

Rule No. 3: There are lots of good girls outside the dating sites. Once you follow my rules 1+2, you will have sufficient time to go for these girls too.

[NADTATIDA1]

Rule number 1 only use a camera,if they have not got one...move on......you could and most probably are talking to a guy or even her boyfriend,or even a afarang

[ThailandLovr]

the best way to meet thai women is just go to thailand and meet them in person wherever..however...meeting them on the internet is an alternative for those that have never been there yet and want to have someone waiting for them when they arrive, plain and simple

Having a woman waiting here for you is dangerous for many of us. Even if she is only somewhat appealing to you, she quickly gets her hooks into you (good sex, treating you like a king: cutting your toe nails, ear and nose hair, etc. ). Then the idea of getting to know a different woman who may be a better fit becomes encumbered with feeling of guilt. The longer you stay with her, the more the difficulty until you can become trapped. Happens a lot. That's why many guys returning here after a visit don't return to the same woman, an easy though arguably cowardly escape from a relationship you know you don't want long term. BTDT

Want to have a woman waiting for you at the airport? Never mind. Take a taxi to Pattaya or stay in BKK and go anywhere. Look for a smile and that woman is interested. No matter how unattractive or fat you may be, very attractive (young if you prefer) women will be interested in you. Have a pleasant expression, don't act like a snob or a jerk, and a decent women will not be quickly turned off.

Don't think the internet is needed for you to meet a woman here! It isn't! It is hard for many of us who are not given a second glance by a woman back in the west to understand this, but it is true. Surprising to the newbie here, but 100% true.

[Loz]

One situation that using the online computer sites precludes is meeting a Thai woman who -- for whatever reason -- until she met you never considered hooking up with a Western guy in the first place.

Some guys will have no idea how important that is... but I am glad you pointed it. You could write a doctoral thesis on that subject alone!

[jazzbo]

Kudos, Kuhn L. BTW celebrity hook-ups:

#1 USA news-babe Dianne Sawyer met her husband film director Mike Nichols (The Graduate, etc.) in a Washington DC airport first class lounge.

Billy Joel met (and later married) super-model Christie Brinkley in a cocktail lounge in the Caribbean following their respective divorces (they later divorced as well)

Jeff Lynne of ELO met the divine Rosie Vela when he rented a house next door to hers in Los Angeles.