My Girlfriends New Tattoo

[davethailand]

I don't feel that a girl with large obvious tattoos is a keeper, but maybe fun for a night or two.

Thai society judge ladies with tattoos very harshly, they are not allowed employment with many companies.

The social stigma is too much and most Thais will assume she is/was a hooker.

(Although plenty of Thais assume any girl with a white man is/was a hooker ...... quite often they are right)

If you have good employment in Thailand you wouldn't be able to take such a girl to a workplace event.

Plenty of girls around why get stuck with a silly one?

I've been stuck with a "silly" one for 8 years then.

[rgs2001uk]

My wife has a tattoo also.

One she made pretty recently.

Why is it a problem?

How many days after she was tattooed was the photo taken?

Reason for asking, I hope she is now waiting for the scabs to fall off.

I dont like the way the tattoo is raised, it usually means an inexperienced tattooist overworking the area, or ink not of the best quality.

[bangkokrick]

My beeper crazed wife eventually moved the gardener in the house. Yes, she got the house. He beat her up and she had him arrested. They she paid his bail the next morning to get him out of jail and then her son beat him up. I don’t think it was a good relationship. In any event it didn’t take me long to get over it. Both her and the gardener had tattoos. She had a lot of piercing too, I don’t know about the gardener.

hel_l you can't make this stuff up can you!

Hope you make the right decision.

[FarAwayBen]

Find a new girl who doesn't have tattoos if that's your preference.

This thread is getting absurd, does anybody choose a partner based on weight, height, tattoos, nationality, whatever?

Pitiful.

A woman chooses a partner based on success, power and those kinds of things. A man chooses a partner based on beauty. This can't be news to you. I don't, of course because I am an enlightened new wave kind of guy!

agreed. it's up to every person to decide what they can and can't live with. For some people that decision is more petty than for others. I sure wouldn't have married a 70 year old heroin addict. Regardless, the real problem here doesn't seem to be the tattoos, it seems to be a cultural disconnect.

[mark45y]

I don't feel that a girl with large obvious tattoos is a keeper, but maybe fun for a night or two.

Thai society judge ladies with tattoos very harshly, they are not allowed employment with many companies.

The social stigma is too much and most Thais will assume she is/was a hooker.

(Although plenty of Thais assume any girl with a white man is/was a hooker ...... quite often they are right)

If you have good employment in Thailand you wouldn't be able to take such a girl to a workplace event.

Plenty of girls around why get stuck with a silly one?

So true. The mayor has a Christmas party every year for his staff and invites any Farangs who work for or with the government. I didn’t take her last year. After seeing some of the bar girls with other Farang I realized it was a good move. These people are the people who stamp anything I need approved. These people can make my life easy or difficult. It’s bad enough my Thai is lousy.

[473geo]

Yes, it is her body to do with what she wants but when in a relationship of 2 years same as the OP surely you take each others feelings into account? She knows he objects strongly to the tattoo but goes ahead and does it anyway. No discussion as two reasonable adults might have. No compromise reached. A tattoo is not something that can easily be erased so it is not like some fashion accessory you can throw out when you are tired of it.

Individuality is fine if it does not impinge on others in a relationship. Any relationship is about compromise, surely?

If the OP feels so strongly about the female in his life having a tattoo it is up to him to decide if he can live with it or not. That is also an individual choice. Many people dislike tattoos but do we have to slag them off because they do not like them?

Perhaps the girl does not see the situation as a 'relationship'........then she would not feel inclined to ask permission

[safeandsound]

I reckon its worth about 10%

every little extra helps...

[gmac]

A lot of harsh replies on here when the crux of the matter is not the tattoo but a matter of respect between partners.

The OP has indicated that there is not a lot of love (if any) involved in the relationship, just mutual acceptance and getting along. The acquiring of a new tattoo which the OP had clearly indicated he would not like sounds to me like a breakdown of that respect and perhaps a bit of testing by the partner to see how much she can get away with.

To my mind trust is essential if any relationship is to last and if one partner starts to wilfully defy the other then the beginning of the end is in sight.

[mark45y]

its her body, if you don't like tattoos then find a women who shares you view but you decided to carry on a relationship with a women who already had body art. Don't be surprised when she chooses to get more.

As for tattoos signifying hookers, umm, we now live in Issan & hubby as a tattooist is doing work on women who have never set foot outside of their own province let alone ever been near a lady bar. Try not to assume or judge too much, thai people aren't cookie cutters of the next & not everyone has the same view on them (outside of the bar trade). The younger thai generations (40 years down) don't view them in the same negative way as some older people may.

Boo, if you knew your husband didn’t like tattoos would you get a tattoo without discussing it with him?

And if you knew hubby didn’t like tattoos and you got one without discussing it with him what would that action mean?

[ExpatJ]

Sounds like you are with the wrong girl(or more realistically, she is with the wrong guy). If you can't lighten up a little your relationship is doomed. Your behavior is ultra-controlling and I suspect your girl already doesn't think too much of you. I have tattoos and if anybody I am with insists I cover them up or constantly rags on me about them, then they can take a flying leap as far as I concerned....life is too short to spend time time with uptight control freaks.

I agree- when i read the OP's post- the gf clearly has no respect for him and i thought 'uh oh shes probably already cheating on the poor guy'..

[Soutpeel]

A lot of harsh replies on here when the crux of the matter is not the tattoo but a matter of respect between partners.

The OP has indicated that there is not a lot of love (if any) involved in the relationship, just mutual acceptance and getting along. The acquiring of a new tattoo which the OP had clearly indicated he would not like sounds to me like a breakdown of that respect and perhaps a bit of testing by the partner to see how much she can get away with.

To my mind trust is essential if any relationship is to last and if one partner starts to wilfully defy the other then the beginning of the end is in sight.

Thank you Sigmund Freud....

[RussellHantz]

The OP is being honest. He doesn't deserve to be skewered or judged. People have the right to have their own criteria for relationships. Its not a matter of right and wrong; more about compatibility.

For once we agree on something.

I am another of those that think tattoos ruin a womans body so I understand where the OP is coming from.

[eurasianthai]

I am another of those that think tattoos ruin a womans body so I understand where the OP is coming from.

Right, and where he's going to...

Edited April 25, 2010 by eurasianthai

[davethailand]

Yes, it is her body to do with what she wants but when in a relationship of 2 years same as the OP surely you take each others feelings into account? She knows he objects strongly to the tattoo but goes ahead and does it anyway. No discussion as two reasonable adults might have. No compromise reached. A tattoo is not something that can easily be erased so it is not like some fashion accessory you can throw out when you are tired of it.

Individuality is fine if it does not impinge on others in a relationship. Any relationship is about compromise, surely?

If the OP feels so strongly about the female in his life having a tattoo it is up to him to decide if he can live with it or not. That is also an individual choice. Many people dislike tattoos but do we have to slag them off because they do not like them?

Perhaps the girl does not see the situation as a 'relationship'........then she would not feel inclined to ask permission

I have to say after reading this comment-

I am not in love with her if that is what you are asking. She does things for me and I do things for her and we normally don’t get on each others nerves. That’s a pretty good relationship in my book.

Is a Thai woman ever in love a Farang? I am not the one to ask. I have had the privilege to be in love a few times. Not looking to do it again. If I was feeling like I was falling in love I think I would run the other way.

I thought the same.

[MSingh]

A hilarious outlook on things by the OP, absolutely hilarious..

I'm so glad there are people like that in teh World cos it gives the rest of us a chance at success..

[rixalex]

I am another of those that think tattoos ruin a womans body so I understand where the OP is coming from.

It's clear from your avatar that you are one of those, "my body is my temple" types, so i can see why you would say that.

[Richb2004v2]

Well I would kick her out, but then I don't think I would be with a tattooed girl anyway. That's just my opinion and preference. If she likes tattoos and you don't then you probably shouldn't be together anyway.

I am not sure that having a tattoo is really being an individual. If anything I feel it's the exact opposite. It has to be the ultimate form of devotion to fashion.

[MSingh]

I am another of those that think tattoos ruin a womans body so I understand where the OP is coming from.

It's clear from your avatar that you are one of those, "my body is my temple" types, so i can see why you would say that.

Looks like a Budgie Smuggler to me to be honest too Rix, have another look....

[RussellHantz]

I am another of those that think tattoos ruin a womans body so I understand where the OP is coming from.

It's clear from your avatar that you are one of those, "my body is my temple" types, so i can see why you would say that.

Don't believe everything you see

[TheVinylMan]

lol merbyn kernow!

Better than voting for the Jock and English parties that have fuc_ked up the country. Although if you can actually read, the avatar that he has, has nothing to do with Mebyon Kernow.

But 100% cornish........... and its great driving down the A30 and crossing in to Cornwall Got the Cornish Flag flying proud in my bar as well (prompt Bar Plug Mash Bar, Queens Park Plaza. Soi 22)

[enginerevision]

Find a new girl who doesn't have tattoos if that's your preference.

This thread is getting absurd, does anybody choose a partner based on weight, height, tattoos, nationality, whatever?

Pitiful.

A woman chooses a partner based on success, power and those kinds of things. A man chooses a partner based on beauty. This can't be news to you. I don't, of course because I am an enlightened new wave kind of guy!

You'r right Mark, I also disgust tattoo's, who put's freaking ink under their skin huh?

Does she do this with everything, or is she only ignorant with the tattoo thingy? If not dump her ! We can't put up with ignorant behaviour from woman.

[popmybubble]

I've got a couple of tattoos (got them prior to being in my current relationship) and I'm always thinking about getting more, I just can't afford to right now. My current bf (thai) doesn't like tattoos very much. He doesn't mind that I have some (nothing he can do about it!) and knows that I want more. I would definitely speak to him about what I was planning when the time comes and ask his opinion which would probably be "up to you". I don't think I would just go and get one without mentioning it because I'd like him to know.

If I had enough money I would probably have my whole left arm covered in tattoos (I have a tattoo which takes up about half of the inside of my forearm), but that's more to do with the fact that I have a lot of scarring (due to self-harm in the past) and it's a bit of a toss up but I think tattoos would be judged less harshly than a load of scars. I try to cover up when in LOS despite the heat as I'm not 100% comfortable being 'on show' even though my bf says he doesn't care.

Edited April 25, 2010 by popmybubble

[eurasianthai]

If not dump her ! We can't put up with ignorant behaviour from woman.

[RussellHantz]

If a woman gets a tattoo, it doesn't necessarily have the meaning that she is a bad girl, etc but she is advertising that she is attracted to bad boys.

[Soutpeel]

but she is advertising that she is attracted to bad boys.

Absolute BS

[samuibeachcomber]

I don't feel that a girl with large obvious tattoos is a keeper.

Come on, staying with somebody does not depend on whether they have a tattoo or not.

Hopefully...

Yeah, but failing to talk about an area of conflict (when you know it is a sore point for your partner) before taking action is a very bad sign for a relationship. It shows lack of respect on her part. It would be like if he went out and bought a 4 million baht car without asking her when she had expressed a desire to buy a house.

it sounds like its a burning issue and a source of confrontation between the couple,and by her getting the tattoo does show how little respect she has for him.cant see the relationship lasting much longer.

[StreetCowboy]

If not dump her ! We can't put up with ignorant behaviour from woman.

I can. She can PM me, but I worry the tattoo might put her out of my price bracket

SC

[SnakeBite]

If any women are reading this let me ask the question. If you were living with a man in a serious relationship for a couple of years and wanted a tattoo would you discuss it with him before you got it?

If you knew he didn’t like tattoos and you got one anyway would you be trying to tell the man something. Something like f off?

I agree with this, if she's your partner and she KNOWS you don't like them and gets them ANYWAY, then maybe she's telling you something. Me, I would kick her to the curb. You're a lucky man to find out this way, to heck with her. Who's paying for it, you or her? Doesn't really matter on that part as far as I'm concerned as you have expressed a total dislike to them and she pays no heed to what you think. Me myself, I don't have tats and neither does my other half, she doesn't like them, and me, I figure I don't have any so far, so why bother.

[samuibeachcomber]

I am not sure that having a tattoo is really being an individual. If anything I feel it's the exact opposite. It has to be the ultimate form of devotion to fashion.

absolutely..........tattoos are disgusting and ugly,the OP should have ditched her a long time ago.

[otherstuff1957]

She made a major decision that will be seen by everyone, without consulting him. Whether you like tattoos or not, the real issue here is her unwillingness to work within their relationship. I will add my vote to those who would recommend re-evaluating the relationship. If she won't discuss this decision with you, what else is she not discussing with you?