My Girlfriends New Tattoo

[mark45y]

My girlfriend is in her late 30’s. She worked in the music business (minor technician) in Bangkok for 10 years in Bangkok.

We have lived together for almost two years. She has a couple of tattoos. I never made a big deal about it except I asked her to cover them up when we went out. She knew (I think) that I don’t much care for them.

Today she went out to do some errands. She called me after an hour and asked if I would join her for lunch in an hour. I asked her where she was and she said at the tattoo parlor. I told her I didn’t like tattoos and I didn’t want her to get another because I was afraid of infection. Which is true. She then said good by and hung up the phone.

She came home a couple of hours later and had new ink applied to the tattoo on her shoulder and some new designs which will make it harder for her to cover it up.

I told her she looked like a hooker and asked her when she was going to start working in a bar.

We are now not speaking to each other.

I asked her why she did not discuss it with me before she got it and she said because she knew I wouldn’t like it. I don’t think she knew how much.

I think I should ask her to leave? That’s my feeling right now. Am I missing something?

I live in a medium sized industrial town. Women here who have tattoos work in bars.

[TheVinylMan]

1. The needles that are used are ALWAYS sterile and you are always shown them being taken out of a new air tight packet.

2. What has having a tattoo got to do with working in a bar??........... There are alot of girls, even hi -so girls with tattoos, its called being individual and not following the flock.

If i was her I would be kicking you out for being so petty and small minded about tattooed girls.

Regards

VM

[NADTATIDA1]

lol merbyn kernow!

[meom]

Even without tattoos a lot of people will think you've plucked her out of a bar anyway so who cares.

If it really disturbs you so much I suggest wearing gloves during love making so at least you don't feel what other people see

[boldfj]

Mark, step into the 21st century! Today, a tatoo is considered an artistic addition to the body. I don't think the general public associates a tatoo with a "working" lady of the evening. I also think you're not being fair to your gf if you make her cover up her tatoos every time you go out. Stop being so self centered and start enjoying her tatoos.

[GungaDin]

Kick her out!

[473geo]

She chooses to be with you......but leads a life of her own too, and makes a few of her own choices.....which you should respect

A tattoo does not make her anything other than a girl who wanted to have a tattoo....she may occasionally be stereotyped, fortunately only by the ignorant

Edited April 25, 2010 by 473geo

[mark45y]

In this town and I suspect most smaller Thai cities women with large noticeable tattoos work in the entertainment industry. My feelings are, since she knew I didn’t like tattoos her getting another one was a slap in my face and a sign that my feelings are going to be ignored from here on out.

[StreetCowboy]

In this town and I suspect most smaller Thai cities women with large noticeable tattoos work in the entertainment industry. My feelings are, since she knew I didn't like tattoos her getting another one was a slap in my face and a sign that my feelings are going to be ignored from here on out.

Seems to me like you're just looking for an excuse to move on to another shallow, superficial relationship, and she understandingly gave you the opportunity. You're lucky she's so considerate

SC

[YaiJung]

Sounds like you are with the wrong girl(or more realistically, she is with the wrong guy). If you can't lighten up a little your relationship is doomed. Your behavior is ultra-controlling and I suspect your girl already doesn't think too much of you. I have tattoos and if anybody I am with insists I cover them up or constantly rags on me about them, then they can take a flying leap as far as I concerned....life is too short to spend time time with uptight control freaks.

[davethailand]

1. The needles that are used are ALWAYS sterile and you are always shown them being taken out of a new air tight packet.

2. What has having a tattoo got to do with working in a bar??........... There are alot of girls, even hi -so girls with tattoos, its called being individual and not following the flock.

If i was her I would be kicking you out for being so petty and small minded about tattooed girls.

Regards

VM

Have to agree with this.

I'm not surprised she's not talking to you. After all its her body and maybe she's risen above the Narrow minded people who look down at girls with tattoo's.

I think tattoos in general in most countries have become fashionable again.

[richard_smith237]

Unfortunately society in Thailand is not as socially developed to the levels we would like to believe it has in the West.

People make negative judgements here very quickly, people do judge a book by its cover, especially when regarding mixed couples.

I walk around the shops etc and sometimes see women who when walking around with a Thai fella would look normal, but place them with a Western guy and they look rather slutty....

I think when in Thailand a Thai girl has to dress a little more conservatively if she is walking around with a westerner if she expected to be treated and looked upon respectfully. Absence of tattoo's is part of this dress code in my book.

I'm all for individuality and character, but not at the cost of a woman looking like a hooker in not only in my eyes, but in the eyes of the general society.

[Thongkorn]

I agree with you. I do not like tramp stamps Why disfigure yourself. but every one has free will, Now you have yours,

[mark45y]

She chooses to be with you......but leads a life of her own too, and makes a few of her own choices.....which you should respect

A tattoo does not make her anything other than a girl who wanted to have a tattoo....she may occasionally be stereotyped, fortunately only by the ignorant

You may be correct. But I think the majority in Thailand over the age of 40 feel the same about big tattoos. The people I work with are mostly over 40 and Thai.

None of this is unknown to her. She knew the problems she would be creating.

[ozsamurai]

Hope she kicks your narrow minded self to the curb. Seriously, you think you own her?

[H2oDunc]

Got to agree with the above. What makes you think you own her ? Who the hel_l are you to say what she can and can't do ? The main person who thinks she now looks like a bar girl is you. For me she needs to sling you out not the other way round. Maybe you want to control a girl you would be better off finding a bar girl without the tattoos and tell her just what she can and can't do.

[canuckamuck]

Tattoos never look good, sorry she ruined your view.

[Soutpeel]

Hope she kicks your narrow minded self to the curb. Seriously, you think you own her?

Agreed....what a complete w*nker....

[rixalex]

In this town and I suspect most smaller Thai cities women with large noticeable tattoos work in the entertainment industry. My feelings are, since she knew I didn't like tattoos her getting another one was a slap in my face and a sign that my feelings are going to be ignored from here on out.

Reverse the situation and ask yourself whether, supposing you wanted a tattoo, would have gone ahead and got one even though you knew your gf didn't like them? If the answer is "no", then you obviously value her opinion more than she does yours. Take from that what you will.

[StreetCowboy]

Got to agree with the above. What makes you think you own her ? Who the hel_l are you to say what she can and can't do ? The main person who thinks she now looks like a bar girl is you. For me she needs to sling you out not the other way round. Maybe you want to control a girl you would be better off finding a bar girl without the tattoos and tell her just what she can and can't do.

I suppose th trouble is that he knows if she's a tart or not, and he's worried others will know now too. Though to be fair, when she's in his company, people can make their own minds up without a tattoo.

SC

I'm really surprised at him posting this on the forum; he must have known the response he would get. Still, worth a laugh, I suppose.

[NADTATIDA1]

In this town and I suspect most smaller Thai cities women with large noticeable tattoos work in the entertainment industry. My feelings are, since she knew I didn't like tattoos her getting another one was a slap in my face and a sign that my feelings are going to be ignored from here on out.

Just because you are in a relationship with her,you also expect her not to have her own mind and free will....this is never conducive to a trusting and happy couple.

You are treating her like a bar-girl!......that is why she is reneging against you...cut her some slack give her some freedom...they always come running back when you show them you are not as interested as they thought you were.

[Patsycat]

Ditto.

Are you now going to dictate how she dresses, what she eats, and how long her hair should be?

You sound like a not very nice control freak. And I am sure you are giving her grief about this as i write...

[473geo]

She chooses to be with you......but leads a life of her own too, and makes a few of her own choices.....which you should respect

A tattoo does not make her anything other than a girl who wanted to have a tattoo....she may occasionally be stereotyped, fortunately only by the ignorant

You may be correct. But I think the majority in Thailand over the age of 40 feel the same about big tattoos. The people I work with are mostly over 40 and Thai.

None of this is unknown to her. She knew the problems she would be creating.

I guess it depends on where your priorities lie, your relationship with your girlfriend, or with your work colleagues.........if they can't adjust and respect individualism, within reason.....they have problems of their own making......your girlfriend has created no problem.

Edited April 25, 2010 by 473geo

[GungaDin]

I think tattoos in general in most countries have become fashionable again.

I'll have to dig out my 1972 Flares and find a 21st Century Thai GF with big tits tats.

[mark45y]

If any women are reading this let me ask the question. If you were living with a man in a serious relationship for a couple of years and wanted a tattoo would you discuss it with him before you got it?

If you knew he didn’t like tattoos and you got one anyway would you be trying to tell the man something. Something like f off?

[eurasianthai]

My wife has a tattoo also.

One she made pretty recently.

Why is it a problem?

Edited April 25, 2010 by eurasianthai

[Jingthing]

It sounds like your expectations are different about what your relationship means. Don't listen to the people lecturing you about owning her. She dissed you. I don't feel a lot of love coming from your post either; that would be the only good reason to keep working on the relationship.

[richard_smith237]

Too PC, there is a reality here.

If my wife was going out all night, getting drunk etc, I wouldn't happy about it.. Its not because I think I own her.

I wouldn't like it if my wife wore tight hot pants and a tank top in a shopping mall (or anywhere to that point)... its not because I think I own her...

The same goes for easily visible tattoos... If she wants to tattoo a W on each bum cheek so it spells ‘WoW’ when she bends over then fine...

But something visible to the public is also making a statement, and that statement of individuality is interpreted differently. The most predicable and possibly negative opinion in this case will be that of the general public.

Maybe some people like to walk around thinking how lucky they are to have an 'individual' at their side in-spite of others discriminatory and narrow-minded looks...

I on the other hand like to walk around thinking how lucky I am to have an individual at my side and simply feel comfortable being dealt with positively and not give others who I come into contact with the opportunity to make a negative judgment.

[canuckamuck]

Some people like those hairy face moles too.

[mark45y]

She chooses to be with you......but leads a life of her own too, and makes a few of her own choices.....which you should respect

A tattoo does not make her anything other than a girl who wanted to have a tattoo....she may occasionally be stereotyped, fortunately only by the ignorant

You may be correct. But I think the majority in Thailand over the age of 40 feel the same about big tattoos. The people I work with are mostly over 40 and Thai.

None of this is unknown to her. She knew the problems she would be creating.

I guess it depends on where your priorities lie, your relationship with your girlfriend, or with your work colleagues.........if they can't adjust and respect individualism, within reason.....they have problems of their own making......your girlfriend has created no problem.

When beepers first came out I got one. My wife at the time thought it was cool to beep me 10 times a day. No emergency she just liked doing it. At first I answered the beeps but then I gave the beeper to my assistant and let him deal with my wife. She stopped calling after a few weeks. Then we got a divorce.