My Girlfriends New Tattoo

[Krupnik]

I'm a farang, female with a Thai boyfriend.

I wouldn't get a tattoo without telling him and I do think it's a bit rude. Sure it's up to her what she wants to do but she could have at least discussed it with you or told you that she was going to do it, or something.

I know my boyfriend doesn't like tattoos on girls so I wouldn't get one although it's hard to be objective about that because I don't like them anyway.

I think they do look cheap on girls, sorry, it's just my opinion. I think they need to be somewhere really discreet and sometimes they can look nice.

Dee

[oliver66]

The problem with sticking and indelible message on your body is other people might not read it the way you expect them to.

I think regardless of views on Tattoos it seems very much like the OP's relationship is on the rocks - This in itself is not a bad thing, he can ditch her and go looking for a woman without Tattoos - They are in the vast majority.

problem is tattooless girls arent interested in farangs .

[Eazy-Going]

Dear OP, regardless of the opinions, quips, flaming, slandering and the like that you are getting regarding this subject, this is the 21st Century and girls in the East are prone to follow those in the West.

It is the 'norm' for ladies, (I use that term lightly), in the UK at least, (from my experience), to adorn the occasional tattoo(and some not so occasional, if you cath my drift?)...some look sooooo sexy, (dependent upon age and stature, dress sense), and some look so dam_n right out of place/slutty/mutton dressed as lamb etc.

It seems we are are of an an age, (I'm only 40 myself), whereby the "ladette" society of sporting a tattoo, and I hazard a guess that this for women, is an export from the shores of Britain (then Europe, following the music scene), has now become the 'norm.

Personally speaking, I don't mind a tattoo on a womoan as long as it is not on public show all of the time, is not vulgar, crude, lude and in essence is subtle...my preference is for none at all. My last 3 Western girlfriends where in the former catagory, my current Thai girlfriend is in the latter...she wou that doesn't mean thay are are morally different... but in truth, they are, (my thai G/F is as an absolute saint and would not dream of having one and loathes to see tattoos on women and has the same misconceptions as the OP,in that they are/have been bar girls).

It depends on age...yours!!!...and where you're living. Dependent upon on your girlfriends history, can you not put it it down to a a fashiopn accessory...and then get a big <deleted> off one of your own?

PS

Depending upon where you have it, they can be quite painful....

[GungaDin]

The problem with sticking and indelible message on your body is other people might not read it the way you expect them to.

I think regardless of views on Tattoos it seems very much like the OP's relationship is on the rocks - This in itself is not a bad thing, he can ditch her and go looking for a woman without Tattoos - They are in the vast majority.

problem is tattooless girls arent interested in farangs .

Ha ! Another attention seeking "Newbie" who can't wait to jump up above the parapet.

[Slaps]

A hilarious outlook on things by the OP, absolutely hilarious..

I'm so glad there are people like that in teh World cos it gives the rest of us a chance at success..

You think that's funny you should read his other topics, I like the virgin one

He turned out to be a paper hat in that one too

[Spee]

I don't feel that a girl with large obvious tattoos is a keeper.

Come on, staying with somebody does not depend on whether they have a tattoo or not.

Does to me. I don't object to people having them, as some of my friends and relatives do. But when it comes to selecting a possible partner, tats are on the verboten list, along with a few other things such as smoking.

As another poster indicated, those having a tat that is intended to be visible even with clothing are deliberately trying to make a statement when out in public. Sometimes it's just to show that they are cool and keeping up with the latest fad. Sometimes there are other reasons, such as being in a gang or associated with a group. People who see them are going to make assumptions about the person, regardless of whether or not they are true. For me, I really don't get the ladies trend of installing a slag tag right above the heiney. Why ruin a perfectly good ass viewing?

I think the OP has a legitimate point in expressing his desire, as does the GF in expressing hers. Whether this matter is a show-stopper in the relationship is up to them, but it sounds like there are possibly other sources of friction in the relationship and the new tat just set things off.

[ronz28]

I think its a disgusting fashion promoted around the world by certain mindless media and opportunistic people that will gladly disfigure beautiful skin for their own personal gain. Its too bad she got suckered into a terrible fashion trend but that's all it is. Someday she will probably try a laser treatment, etc. to get rid of it.

[ukrules]

It would be like if he went out and bought a 4 million baht car without asking her

I know a guy whose wife went out and purchased a house without consulting him first. She did pay for it though. Not in Thailand I might add.

[GungaDin]

A hilarious outlook on things by the OP, absolutely hilarious..

I'm so glad there are people like that in teh World cos it gives the rest of us a chance at success..

You think that's funny you should read his other topics, I like the virgin one

He turned out to be a paper hat in that one too

[IanForbes]

The discussion really isn't about tatoos at all. It's about RESPECT for your partner's ideas and wishes. That is what Mark is saying. I also suspect that Mark is looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Whether this is true or not only Mark knows for sure. The woman had a tatoo when he first met her. Why was it not a concern then?

If your partner knows you don't like something (whatever it is) and goes ahead and does it anyway, then that is showing disrespect for your wishes. Now, just WHY a person does that is the REAL crux of the matter. Maybe Mark IS a control freak and his lady friend is rebelling at that. None of us know that for sure, so we can only make assumptions... which may be false.

Jingthing, Sarasbloke, Richard Smith and Bangkokrick all made valid points, as did some others.

Personally, I don't like tatoos or body jewelry. I think it demeans a beautiful body. But, I respect other's wishes to do what they want with their own bodies. Would I CHOOSE NOT to live with a lovely lady because she has tatoos or body jewelry? No, providing everything else about her I liked.

I don't give a hoot what others think of me or whomever I wish to be with. If they make false assumptions about someone they don't even know then that is THEIR problem and they are too judgemental, hypocritical and biggoted to be worth my time.

Mark has a valid point, but only he and his girlfriend can sort out the problems they have between them. Frankly, I think it is time for both of them to move on. I'm quite sure that Mark's lady friend has some valid points as well. It's inidicative by her lack of respect for Mark's wishes.

There is no question how the biggoted Thai society feels about tatoos. Mainstream Thai society has very narrow guidelines of what is proper and what is not. Step outside that at your own peril and accept the consequeces.

[Eazy-Going]

The discussion really isn't about tatoos at all. It's about RESPECT for your partner's ideas and wishes. That is what Mark is saying. I also suspect that Mark is looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Whether this is true or not only Mark knows for sure. The woman had a tatoo when he first met her. Why was it not a concern then?

If your partner knows you don't like something (whatever it is) and goes ahead and does it anyway, then that is showing disrespect for your wishes. Now, just WHY a person does that is the REAL crux of the matter. Maybe Mark IS a control freak and his lady friend is rebelling at that. None of us know that for sure, so we can only make assumptions... which may be false.

Jingthing, Sarasbloke, Richard Smith and Bangkokrick all made valid points, as did some others.

Personally, I don't like tatoos or body jewelry. I think it demeans a beautiful body. But, I respect other's wishes to do what they want with their own bodies. Would I CHOOSE NOT to live with a lovely lady because she has tatoos or body jewelry? No, providing everything else about her I liked.

I don't give a hoot what others think of me or whomever I wish to be with. If they make false assumptions about someone they don't even know then that is THEIR problem and they are too judgemental, hypocritical and biggoted to be worth my time.

Mark has a valid point, but only he and his girlfriend can sort out the problems they have between them. Frankly, I think it is time for both of them to move on. I'm quite sure that Mark's lady friend has some valid points as well. It's inidicative by her lack of respect for Mark's wishes.

There is no question how the biggoted Thai society feels about tatoos. Mainstream Thai society has very narrow guidelines of what is proper and what is not. Step outside that at your own peril and accept the consequeces.

Flipping Heck I.F, talk about a psycologigical breakdown...full credit to you and hats off. No dis-respect intnded, however, I think you may have it there!

[tatt2dude]

1. The needles that are used are ALWAYS sterile and you are always shown them being taken out of a new air tight packet.

2. What has having a tattoo got to do with working in a bar??........... There are alot of girls, even hi -so girls with tattoos, its called being individual and not following the flock.

If i was her I would be kicking you out for being so petty and small minded about tattooed girls.

Regards

VM

Dont want to worry you Mark but:

1. The needles in Thailand are as dodgy as the street food depending where you eat of course. plenty of studios boiling them up and re bagging them to save a baht or two, that said a farang is more likely to get the second hand stuff than a Thai... depends on the studio and the owners morals. ink is also cut with listerine amongst other thinners, I have even caught distributors trying to do this so sometimes... 1 bottle of ink becomes 2?

Just putting the record straight, most pro studios do a pro job but if in doubt walk away.

as to the bird.... kick her out she is clearly of low moral standards.

[TheItaliann]

Sounds like she doesn't care about you. Tattoos are so ugly and make a girl look cheap.

Edited April 25, 2010 by TheItaliann

[tatt2dude]

I think its a disgusting fashion promoted around the world by certain mindless media and opportunistic people that will gladly disfigure beautiful skin for their own personal gain. Its too bad she got suckered into a terrible fashion trend but that's all it is. Someday she will probably try a laser treatment, etc. to get rid of it.

yep a disgusting fashion that has been around for about as long a fire.... should be over any day now.

[geriatrickid]

I sympathize with the OP. A visible tattoo cans still present an obstacle to career advancement. The people that make the decisions in many businesses still perceive women with loud tattoos as being low end. People like me still discriminate against visible tattoos because of the psychological characteristics of those that have them.

Sure it's the woman's body and she can do whatever she wants. By the same token, no one can force someone that finds tats unappealing to stick around. It's as simple as that.

We have a few females in our office with some of the tackiest tats and the women have the personalities to match. No career advancement for them. The males with tats are at least discreet and we do not have to look at bad tribal patterns or barbed wire. A tat is supposedly a personal adornment and beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps those are my prejudices showing through, but I would be less concerned with someone with an intricately designed tiger or dragon that meant something to him or her than a freak that has inked up his or her body in an attempt to get attention that says, hey look at me, I am unable to accomplish anything but darn if I can't attract attention by getting alot of ugly tats.

[tatt2dude]

People like me still discriminate against visible tattoos because of the psychological characteristics of those that have them.

You just can't beat a tattoo thread

[redparrot]

Here is my opinion on the topic.

If you're in a relationship, you should usually discuss important decisions with your partner. Getting a permanent tattoo would be an important decision. It's like if you went to Bumrungrad and got a sex change, then come home and say "guess what, honey? my d*ck is gone! but I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't like it"

The point is, if there's no communication between a couple, then the relationship is bound to fail eventually, sooner or later.

[BigWheelMan]

I'm a farang, female with a Thai boyfriend.

I wouldn't get a tattoo without telling him and I do think it's a bit rude. Sure it's up to her what she wants to do but she could have at least discussed it with you or told you that she was going to do it, or something.

I know my boyfriend doesn't like tattoos on girls so I wouldn't get one although it's hard to be objective about that because I don't like them anyway.

I think they do look cheap on girls, sorry, it's just my opinion. I think they need to be somewhere really discreet and sometimes they can look nice.

Dee

This shows that you have true feelings and respect for your boyfriend, a good and sincere relationship, that seems to be lacking in the case of the OPs girlfriend.

Edited April 25, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[Spee]

I think its a disgusting fashion promoted around the world by certain mindless media and opportunistic people that will gladly disfigure beautiful skin for their own personal gain. Its too bad she got suckered into a terrible fashion trend but that's all it is. Someday she will probably try a laser treatment, etc. to get rid of it.

yep a disgusting fashion that has been around for about as long a fire.... should be over any day now.

Big difference if you're in say, a jungle tribe, where ritual tattoos have been a part of the cutural for centuries and those that don't get them would be the social outcasts.

In most western and Asian cultures, tats aren't part of the central culture and often associated with criminal activity, gang membership, or as is often the case, someone seeking attention or wishing to participate in a fashionable fad.

Haute couture, medallions, bell bottoms and the like, will come and go, and can easily be discarded, but a nasty heiney tat is forever. A cutesy little butterfly titty tat at 20 years old will look some mutant condor at 40 or 50.

[Stricken]

Give her a break, tattoos are a sign of the times, does she work in a bar? Do you have to run her life that way?

Maybe you are a control freak?

[BobMarleyWannabe]

I am not to keen on tattoos myself and my wife shares the same view. If your girlfriend is into tattoos then who are you to deny your girlfriend of what she likes as long as she pays for the body art herself. I think that you should let her go her own way and find someone that has no interest in body art.

[popmybubble]

I just asked my bf about this again and he actually surprised me by saying if I want to get another tattoo it's up to me and he doesn't mind if I don't discuss it with him first. And this is from a bloke who says he doesn't like tattoos. Guess he loves me regardless

I think a lot of it depends on if it's done well (by a good artist!). I think most people would be able to appreciate good art when they see it.

Edited April 25, 2010 by popmybubble

[sarahsbloke]

I'm a farang, female with a Thai boyfriend. I wouldn't get a tattoo without telling him and I do think it's a bit rude.

Thai lady with tattoo = prostiture (according to Thai culture)

Ferrang lady with tattoo = ferrang lady (ferrang not included in Thai culture)

No Thai in Thailand cares about ferrang body art ....... ferrang are only visitors.

How hard is that to understand!

PS

I consider any Thai lady with a tattoo to be a sex worker (or former sex worker) and so do all my white friends ...... apart from those friends who have a tatooed lady, who are desperate for everyone to understand that their lady is different. (I never judge a white woman with a tattoo to be a sex worker, different culture, different rules)

Edited April 26, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[neverdie]

Marky45, you are the man when it comes to virginity and tattoo's, where to from here, for you?

[Soutpeel]

I consider any Thai lady with a tattoo to be a sex worker (or former sex worker) and so do all my white friends ...... apart from those friends who have a tatooed lady, who are desperate for everyone to understand that their lady is different. (I never judge a white woman with a tattoo to be a sex worker, different culture, different rules)

Why does the word hypocrite, come to mind when I read this sentence...

[TheLaughingMan]

Mark, step into the 21st century! Today, a tatoo is considered an artistic addition to the body. I don't think the general public associates a tatoo with a "working" lady of the evening. I also think you're not being fair to your gf if you make her cover up her tatoos every time you go out. Stop being so self centered and start enjoying her tatoos.

Do you live in Thailand or are you just talking out of your butt? The ENTIRE country associates tattoos with HOOKERS. Learn about where you live before you embarass yourself again

[slapout]

A tattoo on a woman can be very sexy if done right and in the right place, being in the right frame of mind about it obviously helps.

Now if she had a ruler/tape measure tattooed on her inner thigh ( inches included). A partner may see it as sexy, bitching, or thinking ahead, depending on your ego as well as other attributes. An arrow could be another reminder of past experience, just some thoughts pulled out of, guess.

[mickylonster]

The discussion really isn't about tatoos at all. It's about RESPECT for your partner's ideas and wishes. That is what Mark is saying. I also suspect that Mark is looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Whether this is true or not only Mark knows for sure. The woman had a tatoo when he first met her. Why was it not a concern then?

If your partner knows you don't like something (whatever it is) and goes ahead and does it anyway, then that is showing disrespect for your wishes. Now, just WHY a person does that is the REAL crux of the matter. Maybe Mark IS a control freak and his lady friend is rebelling at that. None of us know that for sure, so we can only make assumptions... which may be false.

Jingthing, Sarasbloke, Richard Smith and Bangkokrick all made valid points, as did some others.

Personally, I don't like tatoos or body jewelry. I think it demeans a beautiful body. But, I respect other's wishes to do what they want with their own bodies. Would I CHOOSE NOT to live with a lovely lady because she has tatoos or body jewelry? No, providing everything else about her I liked.

I don't give a hoot what others think of me or whomever I wish to be with. If they make false assumptions about someone they don't even know then that is THEIR problem and they are too judgemental, hypocritical and biggoted to be worth my time.

Mark has a valid point, but only he and his girlfriend can sort out the problems they have between them. Frankly, I think it is time for both of them to move on. I'm quite sure that Mark's lady friend has some valid points as well. It's inidicative by her lack of respect for Mark's wishes.

There is no question how the biggoted Thai society feels about tatoos. Mainstream Thai society has very narrow guidelines of what is proper and what is not. Step outside that at your own peril and accept the consequeces.

Spot on ! Good post .

[Richb2004v2]

If I had enough money I would probably have my whole left arm covered in tattoos (I have a tattoo which takes up about half of the inside of my forearm), but that's more to do with the fact that I have a lot of scarring (due to self-harm in the past) .

When ever I see tattoos on anyone I suspect there must be something wrong somewhere, either now or in their past. No offence but that just re-enforces my opinion.

[StreetCowboy]

I consider any Thai lady with a tattoo to be a sex worker (or former sex worker) and so do all my white friends ...... apart from those friends who have a tatooed lady, who are desperate for everyone to understand that their lady is different. (I never judge a white woman with a tattoo to be a sex worker, different culture, different rules)

Why does the word hypocrite, come to mind when I read this sentence...

? I'm getting fed up defending this fella, but luckily he's blocked my posts, so he says, so he won't see it...

I don't think he's being hypocritical; though perhaps you are giving him the benefit of the doubt... so I don't know why the word springs to mind. The words obnoxious arrogant misogynist might spring to mind, but that is only based on his posting record elsewhere, and there are other purely abusive terms that also spring to mind, mostly metaphors involving genitalia.

I'm not sure that the tattoos actually make any difference to his opinion of Thai ladies - try re-reading his post omitting the words "with a tattoo"

SC