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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel

shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers

in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't

drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams

would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I

drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish

and worry about my liver."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in

the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think

not."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we

go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of

mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine

invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

:o

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