Is Thaivisa Female-friendly?

[tgw]

Stupid generalizations about men are not obviously affecting the number of male members.

Normally because you don't get banned, suspended, warned or have your posts deleted for making a stupid generalisation about men, or for writing something that could be read as a stupid generalisation about men if you are really inventive and have a good imagination.

My husband is a cheating a$$ and I know it and no I do not think all the men here are like that. It just seems to be okay here in Thailand not just on Thai Visa Forum. So I apologize for my earlier comments... That being said There are so many posts that are just about Thai women/ how they are better then western women/ what they can do for you or whatever... So no I do not think it is very female friendly... Regardless of my current circumstances

I'm confused too as to what "female friendly" exactly means?

Does it mean that the forum's posters:

1- say many positive things about women and bad things about men,

or

2- is it a forum where women are welcome to post their opinions and views without being stupidly flamed to death my male posters?

I have a feeling you look for "female friendly" option #1, Peregrine.

[ozzieovaseas]

I for one dont consider it negative (or anti female) if a poster makes a post pertaining to their own personal experiences, based on the individual people(s)in their lives, and how they feel and have been affected by the behaviour of said people...just my opinion though.

Yes,sweeping generalizations racially based are certainly a no-no, but we all know there are many culture differances when it comes to relationships in Thailand in general (and not just between Thai/Farang)

Maybe the problems are more to do with some people not being able to understand and/or accept "the way things are" here?

I dont pretend to know, indeed i was passed on the street by a complete stranger last night (thai female) who uttered words sounding like "khit kwarm chang loi"..never seen her before and was all of a 3 second encounter!!!! should i be offfended?

(just wanted to get that off my chest )

As far as the forums go i find theres a lesson to be found in every post no matter what side of the fence you are on.

Some of the stuff can be viewed as funny and others can serve as a very staunch warning to those of us who could have possibly fallen to a similiar fate.

As others have mentioned i think its always best to try to see the positive side of things and maybe even better still to maintain a somewhat black sense of humour when i LOS

[bonobo]

However, this thread is about whether misogynistic posts are making our female members uncomfortable or driving them away.  And there is on big difference.  Less than 10% of our members are female.  

Men and women have different areas of interest. What is a problem with a 10% rate? It just tells you that most women are not interested in the things discussed here.

You will find that in many other web forums as well. And on the other hand, there are forums which are 90% female.

We are not the same, and that is good so.

And I don't see that women are driven away from the discussions here. In contrary: often women's positions are defended by some knight on a white horse.

If you bother to read my posts, I wrote that it could be that women are not as interested, that they could be being driven off, or that it could be for another reason altogether.

And if you read Boo's post, she informed all of us that at least some women have been driven off by the tone here.  So unless you can refute that, then your contention that women are not driven away from the discussion is faulty.

And if you want to equate someone taking issue with posts which slam women in general as a knight on a white horse, so be it.  There are worse things of which to be accused.

[bonobo]

The fact of the matter is all you have to do is look at the stats (male v female) on # of expats and visitors to see why there are more male than female TV members, and what that says about the what this forum is about: Thailand. Read into that what you want.

Suffice to say that if one were to go on a forum dedicated to Woman's Issues, chances are most posters would be female, I assume.

Now I am not sure of the motivation of this topic to begin with? To tell us all to be nice to women? To try and attract more female members to secure additional sources for advertising?

To quote yourself, "read into it what you want."

[sarahsbloke]

Ozzie, personal queastion, could you be considered large?

And if you read Boo's post, she informed all of us that at least some women have been driven off by the tone here. So unless you can refute that, then your contention that women are not driven away from the discussion is faulty.

I would suggest that Boo gave an opinion rather than information so therefore ask the queations:-

Is one persons opinion more valid than anothers?

Does a female moderators opinion count more than a male members opinion?

Can anyone really support either opinion?

Edited May 4, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[tgw]

I dont pretend to know, indeed i was passed on the street by a complete stranger last night (thai female) who uttered words sounding like "khit kwarm chang loi"..never seen her before and was all of a 3 second encounter!!!! should i be offfended? laugh.gif

sorry, I am a beginner in Thai... was she wondering at how fat a particular elephant is?

[bkkjames]

However, this thread is about whether misogynistic posts are making our female members uncomfortable or driving them away.  And there is on big difference.  Less than 10% of our members are female.  

Men and women have different areas of interest. What is a problem with a 10% rate? It just tells you that most women are not interested in the things discussed here.

You will find that in many other web forums as well. And on the other hand, there are forums which are 90% female.

We are not the same, and that is good so.

And I don't see that women are driven away from the discussions here. In contrary: often women's positions are defended by some knight on a white horse.

If you bother to read my posts, I wrote that it could be that women are not as interested, that they could be being driven off, or that it could be for another reason altogether.

And if you read Boo's post, she informed all of us that at least some women have been driven off by the tone here.  So unless you can refute that, then your contention that women are not driven away from the discussion is faulty.

And if you want to equate someone taking issue with posts which slam women in general as a knight on a white horse, so be it.  There are worse things of which to be accused.

Why should the burden of proof be put on the TV membership with regards to Boo's statement? What if someone was to reply that many male members were driven off / quit by the double standards demonstrated on TV towards its male members?

(No need to reply with what double standards).

[sarahsbloke]

sorry, I am a beginner in Thai... was she wondering at how fat a particular elephant is?

"Think elephant passed by!"

[IanForbes]

I did not read through all the posts. I would like to say that I feel that Thailand is a very bad place to take a family. If I knew what I know now I would of never let my family come. Men seem to change here (not all). They have young pretty girls throwing theirsevles at them. Girls that would not give them a second chance in there home country. Next thing you know they are no longer happy with what they have at home. The family is broken but thats okay they have there young Asian women and everything wrong with the marriage was because of the horrible western women.

Thats why for me it is very hard to read a lot of the posts on this forum. After seperating with my husband I went through a lot of them though trying to understand what had happened. It only made me more confused and sick....

Oh I get it, because of your husband can't keep it buttoned up, now all Western Men here are only doing so to boost their egos and other naughty things.

Sounds like you are blaming the country and it's women for this.

I said not all but read through a fair amount of the posts here and it is very obvious what a fair amount of the men are here for

I make no bones about what I am in Thailand for. It is what I can't get at home in Canada. I don't need a mommy and I don't need someone to take care of me. What I need is a lot of sex with beautiful, willing women. It's available in North American, but it's a LOT more expensive and out of my price range. And, I don't hide behind a pseudonym either. I also post photos of myself just so everyong knows where I stand. If that offends someone then that is their problem... not mine. But, I can also say that I never played around on either of my wives, nor did I do anything wrong, and I'd still be with them had THEY not made the decision to leave and take half of all that I WORKED FOR. They contributed nothing but companionship. I contributed all the money, all the cooking and half of the cleaning. But, what I didn't realize at the time they chose to leave was they were actually doing me a favour. I'm not blaming anyone and can see both sides to every story. Some people don't like looking in the mirror. Life is what it is and we all have to adjust to it and accept the consequences of our own actions.

It's got nothing to do with boosting egos. It's strictly a mutually acceptable arrangement... just like most marriages. When marriages fail it's usually because someone got too complacent or had an entirely different idea on what the original agreement was all about.

And, that is what this topic is all about. Everyone has a different idea on what an open forum is about. We've got general guidlines that keep us somewhat under control, but the limits are tested once in a while.

[bonobo]

Why should the burden of proof be put on the TV membership with regards to Boo's statement? What if someone was to reply that many male members were driven off / quit by the double standards demonstrated on TV towards its male members?

(No need to reply with what double standards).

Really, you can't see the difference?  

Boo has direct evidence, direct statements.  This is positive, actual evidence.

Greensnapper is stating a fact based on his own opinions.  Because he hasn't heard it, it must not be true (I am assuming that is on what he is basing his statement.)

I could be wrong, but I think you are a university graduate (apologies if I am mistaken).  So think back to your philosophy classes and argumentum ad ignorantiam.

And if someone said that male members have been driven away, and they have evidence to support that, then I would accept that. But what has that to do with this thread? That is an entirely different subject. We don't need any red herrings here.

[tgw]

sorry, I am a beginner in Thai... was she wondering at how fat a particular elephant is?

"Think elephant passed by!"

ahhh "think pass elephant" thanks for the lesson!

I learned something.

what's the loi about? does it mean "already" and can be translated as a past time marker?

Edited May 4, 2010 by tgw

[Boo]

I would suggest that Boo gave an opinion

No I gave a situation of fact as expressed to me by women who have viewed &/who used to use thaivisa.com

[mark45y]

I have a daughter married with two kids, nice husband. She wanted to come and see me with her husband and kids for a month. I told her to come with the kids but don’t bring hubby.

I have a lady friend in her 60’s who has a 35 year old son who worked for me in the west for 5 years. Nice guy. Bit of a momma’s boy but that’s good in that he takes care of his mother and she has no one else. She also gives him some financial support. She doesn’t know he is gay or is in denial. She called me and said she and her son wanted to take a long vacation in Thailand. I told her to come but leave her son at home.

Why aren’t there more female posters on Thai Visa? Why aren’t there more single straight women living in Thailand?

Why would I have to refute Boo’s contention that women are driven away from Thai Visa by crude remarks? She is maybe talking a handful of people. I think she may be speaking the difference between 5 out 10 potential new posters. It is not like there is a pool of hundreds of women available or who have any interest in Thailand.

There aren’t many female posters on Thai Visa because there aren’t many single western women living in Thailand.

[bonobo]

I make no bones about what I am in Thailand for. It is what I can't get at home in Canada. I don't need a mommy and I don't need someone to take care of me. What I need is a lot of sex with beautiful, willing women. It's available in North American, but it's a LOT more expensive and out of my price range. And, I don't hide behind a pseudonym either. I also post photos of myself just so everyong knows where I stand. If that offends someone then that is their problem... not mine. But, I can also say that I never played around on either of my wives, nor did I do anything wrong, and I'd still be with them had THEY not made the decision to leave and take half of all that I WORKED FOR. They contributed nothing but companionship. I contributed all the money, all the cooking and half of the cleaning. But, what I didn't realize at the time they chose to leave was they were actually doing me a favour. I'm not blaming anyone and can see both sides to every story. Some people don't like looking in the mirror. Life is what it is and we all have to adjust to it and accept the consequences of our own actions.

It's got nothing to do with boosting egos. It's strictly a mutually acceptable arrangement... just like most marriages. When marriages fail it's usually because someone got too complacent or had an entirely different idea on what the original agreement was all about.

And, that is what this topic is all about. Everyone has a different idea on what an open forum is about. We've got general guidlines that keep us somewhat under control, but the limits are tested once in a while.

Ian,

You are what you are and make no bones about it.  I respect that, and anyone else who can't accept that can take the proverbial leap into a lake.

However, I don't think I have ever read any post of yours which slags women in general.  On the contrary, you have posted some very understanding, considerate,  and empathetic posts.  

Not that you need my approval or anyone else's but I have no problem with any of your posts concerning women.

[tigerfish]

whats the percentage ratio of males v female mods/ admin on this forum?

bet it isnt 90%- 10%

[TigerWan]

It's not just Thai Visa- Sexism and misogyny is prevalent throughout all cultures.

As an intelligent woman who is independent and participates in horse riding sports which men and women compete in together, I find women's equality is taking huge strides backwards from my high school days in the late 70's.

All the women I knew then were " feminists". Now the term has been demonized to "Feminazi" whenever women's groups decry their ongoing status as sexual playthings. "Hotties, babes..."etc., etc., etc..

At the risk of incurring the wrath of the mods, look at the ads on this site for " girls" which is a term prevalent in the English language that diminishes adult women.

Girl used to mean a female child.

Seems if you are attractive you are a girl, after you become to old to be considered attractive, then you become " lady" and are expected to behave in certain ways .

To be just a woman, simply a female of the species, seems to be unattainable.

Before I get the onslaught of negative comments deriding my companion status- let me clarify my feminist stance;

Let me say I think prostitution should be legalized, criminalizing it only victimizes the women

and there should be free birth control and access to abortion.

In fact, I'm now reading FREAKonomics which features a convincing argument that US crimes rates dropped significantly in the early 90's due to the national legalization of abortion in the early 70's.

And I really wish women would stop changing their names at marriage, to me that is the ultimate in submission.

Men's titles are not tied in with their marital status. They are Mr. not like women who are Miss if unmarried, Mrs. if married.

Please call me Ms. - marital status none of anyone's business -

No such option in Thailand, however, though the Kuhn titling seems to be gender -free

Maybe we could all just be M.?

Edited May 4, 2010 by TigerWan

[Boo]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

[GreenSnapper]

Boo has direct evidence, direct statements.  This is positive, actual evidence.

Greensnapper is stating a fact based on his own opinions.  Because he hasn't heard it, it must not be true (I am assuming that is on what he is basing his statement.)

What percentage are you talking about? I haven't seen any number yet.

I have just heard that there are women are driven off from here. I don't see any reason why such a statement shall be generalised.

In fact, that is just another opinion. Equally valid as my opinion. I admit, I haven't read all postings in TV so far, and my impression here is that women are not driven away and men (naturally) defend women if they get under attack for whatever reason.

[Boo]

tigerfish

whats the percentage ratio of males v female mods/ admin on this forum?

bet it isnt 90%- 10%

9 admin - 1 woman

32 moderators - 5 women

you can do the math

[carmine]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

i honestly think Boo you are reading too much into this. I would say it's a simple case of there being very few single western women living here....mores the pity.

[ozzieovaseas]

Ozzie, personal queastion, could you be considered large?

Hehe SB..thanks for the help in translation

Actually after 6 months in Oz im down to 75kgs (but 180cms tall)

So yeh, strangely enough your version has made me feel a lot better

For some reason (probably being my poor thai skills) i thought she was saying something like "i think you're very stupid"

[mark45y]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

Because Chickynet and Farang girls are social networking sites for women. Is Thai Visa a social networking site for women?

Unless it is the comparison is not valid.

[bonobo]

Boo has direct evidence, direct statements.  This is positive, actual evidence.

Greensnapper is stating a fact based on his own opinions.  Because he hasn't heard it, it must not be true (I am assuming that is on what he is basing his statement.)

What percentage are you talking about? I haven't seen any number yet.

I have just heard that there are women are driven off from here. I don't see any reason why such a statement shall be generalised.

In fact, that is just another opinion. Equally valid as my opinion. I admit, I haven't read all postings in TV so far, and my impression here is that women are not driven away and men (naturally) defend women if they get under attack for whatever reason.

The percentage is irrelevant as far as your statement goes.  You posted women are not driven away. Boo posted that she has spoken to women who are. 

For you to be correct, not even one woman has ever been driven away.  So whether Boo hit the entire population of women who have been driven away, or if she has spoken to only a small percentage of them, your contention is incorrect.

Sorry, but this is basic Debate 101.

[tgw]

To be just a woman, simply a female of the species, seems to be unattainable.

one could argue you achieve that when attracting men's criticisms...

More seriously, what's wrong about women being sexual objects?

Many men would agree to be women's sexual objects, but that's not how it works, it seems, except for some exceptionally good-looking studs!

I found that men more than women can make a mental separation between sexual pleasure and love.

And if you look in our feminized western societies, the women in the discos are like a holy grail, unattainable for many.

There are so much differences between men and women.

Depictions of sex and lust in all media, a huge hunger is present, yet about 50% of males suffer from sexual loneliness, and probably the same amount of women.

Why is it that while men want sex, women prefer to refuse?

The questions can go on and on - there is a biological reality, but the logic in our behaviors is based on irrational instincts.

[bonobo]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

i honestly think Boo you are reading too much into this. I would say it's a simple case of there being very few single western women living here....mores the pity.

I am lost here.  Why do women have to be single to post here?  

Most of the female TV posters I know are married.

[TigerWan]

tigerfish

whats the percentage ratio of males v female mods/ admin on this forum?

bet it isnt 90%- 10%

9 admin - 1 woman

32 moderators - 5 women

you can do the math

But it's like this everywhere, except .. Norway?

Women are 52% of the population but consistently have but a fraction of the representation.

Now having said that I do think there are far fewer female expats in Thailand than male, and that would account for less women posting here.

But... yes Chickynet, where users have to have to use their real names was increasing exponentially though I think it has hit a bump as of late

Edited May 4, 2010 by TigerWan

[Jingthing]

There is plenty of anti-gay sentiment expressed on this board away from (and sometimes on) the gay forum. I don't feel that scares gay men away from this site at all! So, ladies, grow a pair! Ooops, was that bad?

[fanta rood]

tigerfish

whats the percentage ratio of males v female mods/ admin on this forum?

bet it isnt 90%- 10%

9 admin - 1 woman

32 moderators - 5 women

you can do the math

More interesting is the ratio female admins/mods vs regular female members.

And don't tell me it's positive discrimination.

[bonobo]

tigerfish

whats the percentage ratio of males v female mods/ admin on this forum?

bet it isnt 90%- 10%

9 admin - 1 woman

32 moderators - 5 women

you can do the math

More interesting is the ratio female admins/mods vs regular female members.

And don't tell me it's positive discrimination.

????

Percentage of regular female members:  10 %

Percentage of Admin females:  10%

Percentage of Mod female members:  13.5 %

What is so interesting about that?  Pretty much in line with normal distribution ratios.  

[mark45y]

Boo has direct evidence, direct statements.  This is positive, actual evidence.

Greensnapper is stating a fact based on his own opinions.  Because he hasn't heard it, it must not be true (I am assuming that is on what he is basing his statement.)

What percentage are you talking about? I haven't seen any number yet.

I have just heard that there are women are driven off from here. I don't see any reason why such a statement shall be generalised.

In fact, that is just another opinion. Equally valid as my opinion. I admit, I haven't read all postings in TV so far, and my impression here is that women are not driven away and men (naturally) defend women if they get under attack for whatever reason.

The percentage is irrelevant as far as your statement goes.  You posted women are not driven away. Boo posted that she has spoken to women who are. 

For you to be correct, not even one woman has ever been driven away.  So whether Boo hit the entire population of women who have been driven away, or if she has spoken to only a small percentage of them, your contention is incorrect.

Sorry, but this is basic Debate 101.

I think the raw numbers are relevant. What Boo is saying is she wants Thai Visa to be more like chickynet, a girls networking site, so there will be more female posters. I think the majority of posters on Thai Visa do not want Thai Visa to be a female networking site.