Is Thaivisa Female-friendly?

[tgw]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

I think this is not the whole truth.

I was a young graduate with an excellent diploma when I began my "life" and all the doors were open for me.

At least that's what I thought.

Today, I am in my midlife moment, married, 2 children, lost several jobs, and I think the representations of future life that have been "sold" to me when I was young were lies, especially the misrepresentation of marriage.

So I feel betrayed/lied to, and I am resentful, especially after discovering Thailand.

If I could, I would "load a previous savegame" and start over at when I was 17 or 18 years old.

If age could, if youth knew, we say...

I'm a rather calm person, so I don't rave about how unjust this all is and about how bad women are and about how men should never marry or similar.

But I can easily understand how other short-tempered people can get very angry and very rude on forums.

I've basically lost 16 years of my life and now I am working hard to make the turn.

And I am sad and angry. yes.

[Boo]

why would it be positive discrimination. all mods/admin have been invited over the years to join the team due to their contributing factors. Sheryl for example is a women but very rarely if ever steps outside of the heath forum to moderate. She does post elsewhere but leaves ladies forum moderating to me & sbk & other male moderators who take an interest there.

Bina is a women but contributes & moderates mainly in the pets & garden section. FBN is a man but I cant recall ever seeing him post outside of the health forum either, some of our admin don't post at all but work behind the scenes. We have all joined, regardless of our gender, because at the time we were asked were considered to be a positive addition to the team.

[bonobo]

Boo has direct evidence, direct statements.  This is positive, actual evidence.

Greensnapper is stating a fact based on his own opinions.  Because he hasn't heard it, it must not be true (I am assuming that is on what he is basing his statement.)

What percentage are you talking about? I haven't seen any number yet.

I have just heard that there are women are driven off from here. I don't see any reason why such a statement shall be generalised.

In fact, that is just another opinion. Equally valid as my opinion. I admit, I haven't read all postings in TV so far, and my impression here is that women are not driven away and men (naturally) defend women if they get under attack for whatever reason.

The percentage is irrelevant as far as your statement goes.  You posted women are not driven away. Boo posted that she has spoken to women who are. 

For you to be correct, not even one woman has ever been driven away.  So whether Boo hit the entire population of women who have been driven away, or if she has spoken to only a small percentage of them, your contention is incorrect.

Sorry, but this is basic Debate 101.

I think the raw numbers are relevant. What Boo is saying is she wants Thai Visa to be more like chickynet, a girls networking site, so there will be more female posters. I think the majority of posters on Thai Visa do not want Thai Visa to be a female networking site.

Sorry to pull out the red herring card again, but I have to do it.

All of that is irrelevant.  You stated that women are not driven away.  Boo said that at least some are. Bottom line, you were wrong.

Now if you want to argue if more women are a good idea or not, that is whole other topic.  But that does not take away from the fact that your contention was incorrect. 

[Boo]

What Boo is saying is she wants Thai Visa to be more like chickynet,

am I.? How amazing you can read my mind. Can you tell what I am thinking right now

[fanta rood]

tigerfish

whats the percentage ratio of males v female mods/ admin on this forum?

bet it isnt 90%- 10%

9 admin - 1 woman

32 moderators - 5 women

you can do the math

More interesting is the ratio female admins/mods vs regular female members.

And don't tell me it's positive discrimination.

????

Percentage of regular female members:  10 %

Percentage of Admin females:  10%

Percentage of Mod female members:  13.5 %

What is so interesting about that?  Pretty much in line with normal distribution ratios.  

no I just thought that 80% of the females on this forum are mods or admins. And I was just wondering if they are mods/admons because they are female or because of something else.

Or are all the other girls just inactive

[Boo]

no I just thought that 80% of the females on this forum are mods or admins

6 women = 80% of the female membership?

[bonobo]

no I just thought that 80% of the females on this forum are mods or admins. And I was just wondering if they are mods/admons because they are female or because of something else.

Or are all the other girls just inactive

80% are not mods or admins.  It is less than one thousanth of one percent. 

[IanForbes]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

That might be true, Boo, if it weren't for the fact that the western world has been changed drastically since the "bad old days" of the 1920s and 30s. It's no longer a level playing field, and a lot of women want it both ways. They want the world where men respected women and took care of them, but they want the freedom to do as they please and have positions protected for them according to their gender. Rules and standards were lowered and changed to allow more women to become firefighters and other male dominant fields. In universities there are positions left vacant for only women applicants even when there are men suitable for the position. Women traditionally get the better of the deal in divorce settlements, regardless of what the women might have done to end the marriage.

At the chance of being called a racist it is similar to African Americans who want Black only schools, but would holler rascist if anyone had the temerity to suggest any white only privileges.

I agree that men (and women) want to blame others for problems they caused themselves, or for their poor choices in life. I don't think men blame all women for for their problems in life, but there are certainly some substantial reasons for doing so in some situations. After all, it is WOMEN who do most of the raising of these wimpy, bitter men. So, indirectly the guy is right.

Men who were raised by TWO strong parents who worked together in harmony seldom have these problems with women later in life.

[fanta rood]

no I just thought that 80% of the females on this forum are mods or admins. And I was just wondering if they are mods/admons because they are female or because of something else.

Or are all the other girls just inactive

80% are not mods or admins.  It is less than one thousanth of one percent. 

25% of all females are mods/admins. Thats not 80% but still pretty high.

[Boo]

where are you getting your numbers

6 x 4(25%) = 24 female posters?

[tigerfish]

interesting to see that this thread has remained open for so long, seeing as certain points have been raised that sail very closely to breaking forum rules!

and while we are at it, why not hit on the amount of male members that have been driven away from this site in one way or another,

interesting reading on google and other forums, i had over the songkran period.

[bonobo]

no I just thought that 80% of the females on this forum are mods or admins. And I was just wondering if they are mods/admons because they are female or because of something else.

Or are all the other girls just inactive

80% are not mods or admins.  It is less than one thousanth of one percent. 

25% of all females are mods/admins. Thats not 80% but still pretty high.

We have 96,000 members.  If we use the 10% are female, that means we have 9600 female posters.

6/9600 = 0.000625  or 0.0625%.

[fanta rood]

where are you getting your numbers

6 x 4(25%) = 24 female posters?

No I misunderstood her post. I get it now.

[mark45y]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

Let me try it a different way. The reason Chickynet has so many women is because it is a woman's networking site. It has little to do with crude men posting there. If you expect Thai Visa to have large numbers of women posters you will have to change the thrust of the site from Visa's and information to woman's networking.

[Boo]

why not hit on the amount of male members that have been driven away from this site in one way or anothe

we can if only we can prove that those male members have moved away from thaivisa becuase of the amount of derogatory & offensive comments made about men by female members? I would doubt that was the reason, more becuase they have been prevented from posting on thaivisa for one reason or another.

[fanta rood]

no I just thought that 80% of the females on this forum are mods or admins. And I was just wondering if they are mods/admons because they are female or because of something else.

Or are all the other girls just inactive

80% are not mods or admins.  It is less than one thousanth of one percent. 

25% of all females are mods/admins. Thats not 80% but still pretty high.

We have 96,000 members.  If we use the 10% are female, that means we have 9600 female posters.

6/9600 = 0.000625  or 0.0625%.

Ok I understand it now. I thought you said 23.5% of the females are admin/moderators. My feeling says its a lot higher though.

[bonobo]

see my above post. Thaivisa could attract a lot more women who live in Thailand if it were not for the minority of posters who feel the need to blame women at every turn for every thing that has messed up in their life. Why are forums like chickynet & farang girls in thailand attracting huge amounts of women who live in Thailand? becuase they don't have the stupid "all women are xyz" negatives being posted whenever someone feel like airing yet again whatever little problem they have ever had with a women in their life.

Let me try it a different way. The reason Chickynet has so many women is because it is a woman's networking site. It has little to do with crude men posting there. If you expect Thai Visa to have large numbers of women posters you will have to change the thrust of the site from Visa's and information to woman's networking.

Or possibly more women would be members and post here if some men would be more courteous and less misogynistic in their posts?  Just saying it could be true.

[TigerWan]

To be just a woman, simply a female of the species, seems to be unattainable.

one could argue you achieve that when attracting men's criticisms...

More seriously, what's wrong about women being sexual objects?

Many men would agree to be women's sexual objects, but that's not how it works, it seems, except for some exceptionally good-looking studs!

I found that men more than women can make a mental separation between sexual pleasure and love.

And if you look in our feminized western societies, the women in the discos are like a holy grail, unattainable for many.

There are so much differences between men and women.

Depictions of sex and lust in all media, a huge hunger is present, yet about 50% of males suffer from sexual loneliness, and probably the same amount of women.

Why is it that while men want sex, women prefer to refuse?

The questions can go on and on - there is a biological reality, but the logic in our behaviors is based on irrational instincts.

When you are pregnant for nine months, it lends itself to a biological need to depend on another would be the sociologist's argument.

The problem with women relying on their short lived powers of attraction is just that, short lived.

Not a real power when its for but a few decades at most, then vanishes.

Maybe this is why women are so keen to give up their independence?

Modern media has created the unattainable, air brushed and computer enhanced to perfection female much as it markets cars and watches which are of course , objects.

Edited May 4, 2010 by TigerWan

[GreenSnapper]

What percentage are you talking about? I haven't seen any number yet.

I have just heard that there are women are driven off from here. I don't see any reason why such a statement shall be generalised.

In fact, that is just another opinion. Equally valid as my opinion. I admit, I haven't read all postings in TV so far, and my impression here is that women are not driven away and men (naturally) defend women if they get under attack for whatever reason.

The percentage is irrelevant as far as your statement goes.  You posted women are not driven away. Boo posted that she has spoken to women who are. 

For you to be correct, not even one woman has ever been driven away.  

I never said that. I articulated my impression from reading the forum here. Impressions are not wrong or right.

But for you, as you are so much against generalization, the percentage is suddenly not important.

It is. Because a small number of women, who are driven away for some reason, does not justify a statement "women are driven away".

So back to the facts: if there are 60000 members and 10% are female (6000), how many of them are driven away?

Give us some facts, otherwise to claim that "women are driven away" is just another opinion, based on very little evidence.

[mark45y]

why not hit on the amount of male members that have been driven away from this site in one way or anothe

we can if only we can prove that those male members have moved away from thaivisa becuase of the amount of derogatory & offensive comments made about men by female members? I would doubt that was the reason, more becuase they have been prevented from posting on thaivisa for one reason or another.

I think you are 100% correct. Men who move the thousands of miles to Thailand are usually adults able to function in an grown up world. They are not likely to be bothered by what someone has to say good or bad on the internet.

[sarahsbloke]

And I really wish women would stop changing their names at marriage, to me that is the ultimate in submission.

What surname do you suggest is given to the children, I suggest your name as you would say the children do not belong to the man.

So whether Boo hit the entire population of women who have been driven away, or if she has spoken to only a small percentage of them, your contention is incorrect.

Boo is well know for some very extreme views.

I almost left Thaivisa because of insulting things she said about me, I kept the PMs.

I have evidence that at least 1 other member feels the same way.

So there we go same, same.

Some members upset by a man

Some members upset by a woman

Until all posts are judged in the same way, there will be dissent.

Edited May 4, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[IanForbes]

Nit picking over numbers is just silly. It doesn't MATTER if a moderator is male of female. All that matters is if the moderator is moderate and fair.

If there were more issues pertaining to women's interests then there would be more women on a forum. How many women do you see in fishing related topics, or most sports for that matter. Check on the magazine stands to see what issues that women are interested in. I could print out a set of requirements for 95% of all women's magazine articles and I wouldn't be far wrong.

1. 10 ways to please your special man in bed

2. 5 ways to have a firmer healthy body

3. 5 quick, nutricious meals for the active woman on the run

4. Choosing the right wardrobe for your body type

5. 4 gardening ideas to have a beautiful home

6. What Dr X can tell you about women's health issues

7. Raising a happy child while running a career

etc. etc. etc.

[TigerWan]

Or possibly more women would be members and post here if some men would be more courteous and less misogynistic in their posts? Just saying it could be true.

Look at the ads, this forum is geared toward men in a country geared toward men.

In fact I believe there to be th e" ladies " section where I suppose we are to discuss female stuff and keep it off the main forum.

( and there's that " ladies" term again, how I hate it . Ugh we are just bounding backwards..)

[TigerWan]

Nit picking over numbers is just silly. It doesn't MATTER if a moderator is male of female. All that matters is if the moderator is moderate and fair.

If there were more issues pertaining to women's interests then there would be more women on a forum. How many women do you see in fishing related topics, or most sports for that matter. Check on the magazine stands to see what issues that women are interested in. I could print out a set of requirements for 95% of all women's magazine articles and I wouldn't be far wrong.

1. 10 ways to please your special man in bed

2. 5 ways to have a firmer healthy body

3. 5 quick, nutricious meals for the active woman on the run

4. Choosing the right wardrobe for your body type

5. 4 gardening ideas to have a beautiful home

6. What Dr X can tell you about women's health issues

7. Raising a happy child while running a career

etc. etc. etc.

Agreed women are trained to thinkthis is the crap they should care about, but is it really?

I have to say since moving here, it became apparent dating was really not going to be happening anymore, so after about a year and a half I gave up trying to appear attractive, I'm still fit for my health's sake, but I don't shave my legs, my hair has gone to its natural colour, cut my nails off and only I wear make up when I go to a evening function , (about twice a year) and I could care less if my tan lines are halfway down my legs and that is liberating.

It takes so much effort and time to live up to this ideal of femininity that isn't real.

Is getting older for women actually a good thing ? ,

[tgw]

When you are pregnant for nine months, it lends itself to a biological need to depend on another would be the sociologist's argument.

The problem with women relying on their short lived powers of attraction is just that, short lived.

Not a real power when its for but a few decades at most, then vanishes.

Maybe this is why women are so keen to give up their independence?

Modern media has created the unattainable, air brushed and computer enhanced to perfection female much as it markets cars and watches which are of course , objects.

ah, I think this a very sensible post of yours.

with the availability of condoms and many other contraceptive methods, the biological instincts having the upper hand on brains is telling something about how humans function...

The problem with women relying on their short lived powers of attraction is just that, short lived.

Very good point.

Could be extended with "and feeling they deserve more than they get from (their) man, based on a nurtured delusion of attractiveness long after it faded away".

I think there is something in Thai/Asian women what is missing in the west: gratitude.

Most of the women nearing 40 I know in the west should be THANKFUL that their husbands look after them, support the family, etc. even if he goes to screw a prostitute from time to time. This doesn't threaten the wife's position.

In return, I wouldn't object to my wife hiring a callboy from time to time...

Modern media has created the unattainable, air brushed and computer enhanced to perfection female much as it markets cars and watches which are of course , objects.

For the airbrushed and computer enhanced woman, yes.

For the unattainable, I think women can only blame themselves.

I remember when as a teenager I couldn't get laid. Terrible time. Success rate of 1/20 and huge costs.

I also tried later in western discos. Not a chance.

[bkkjames]

Now back on topic (although the trip down history lane was nice - especially like the part about blaming media for everything), I would suggest for the those concerned to send out a list of all the 'active' female members so we know who to be polite to moving forward.

[TigerWan]

And I really wish women would stop changing their names at marriage, to me that is the ultimate in submission.

What surname do you suggest is given to the children, I suggest your name as you would say the children do not belong to the man.

Plenty of children don't belong to the man whose name they bear.

Girls to have mother's name, boys to have man's, vice versa or combine the two names.

Or flip a coin, pick a new name .

Why is a human that a female gestates for nine months and then gives birth to expected to have the man's last name ?

To me, it is a sexist custom rooted in women as property.

[Boo]

Boo is well know for some very extreme views.

I am? how interesting what you perceive to be "extreme views".

[IanForbes]

Good point, Tigerwan. There are similarities in what you say to what men come to realize eventually. Life is what you make of it. Take up an interest in something other than materialism. Eat well, stay fit and have an active interest in something other than just stuff. People with an active hobby seem to be the happiest. It takes them through periods of loneliness and directs their interest in something other than what others think. The hobby could be art, crafts, music, sports, cooking, gardening, photography, or you name it... just so long as it keeps the mind and body active.

I'm fortunate that I like painting, drawing, writing, photography and outdoor pursuits. It involves all my time when I stay in Canada for 7 months of the year. The other 5 months I spend in Thailand enjoying other things I can't get at home. And, it's hard to NOT like the warm weather of a Thai winter. I can ride my motorcycle any day I want without having to wear 15 pounds of heavy leather gear, long johns and a wool sweater. I can hike a mountain in shorts and sandals or spend days exploring clear water and sandy beaches.

[Boo]

I think you are 100% correct. Men who move the thousands of miles to Thailand are usually adults able to function in an grown up world. They are not likely to be bothered by what someone has to say good or bad on the internet.

seems the poster below you didn't get the memo Proof that not only women take offense at what they consider unjust comments on the forum right?