Neighbours Simmering Unhappiness.

[h90]

Maybe bashing the top of the neighbour's car in had something to do with it?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Local-Disput...ng-t369877.html

Thank you for that link......Complete different side of the story.

No Xenophobia......just Thais don't like Farangs which behave bad.

[needforspeed]

"geez, how do these farang guys find such ugly Thai women all the time?"

I too have heard this many times ..... usually followed by ........ something like

Pheu see-dam, jamook bairn, na-pak my dee (skin black, nose flat, forehead no good)

Pretty much always purely racial insults against Issan girls

I once asked a Thai lady why she dated such ugly white men ...... answer "you all look same, big nose"

Good looks as judged by Thai people appear to be primarily based on skin colour, light pretty, dark ugly.

My friend has a gf with very dark skin, my wife will hardly speak to her (too ugly and lo-so), great fun when we go out together.

Ask your friend to buy a new white one

[h90]

You reap what you sow!

You do not interact with your neighbors!

I am the only farang living in my village, All my neighbors have been to my home and me to theirs. We are invited to every village functions and I was even picked to hand out certificates at my daughters school. We are well received in our village, there are only two Thais I go out of my way to avoid ,both the village drunks.

I think when you do move, move to a Farang town, I believe it is your attitude that is the reason people do not like you, and you will have the same problems in any other place you move or change your attitude.

Thai"s dislike yelling, especially being yelled at, also you were the aggressor when you attacked the man in his car and dented the roof. all villages have a headman and that is where you should have gone to voice your complaint. or the police department and filed a complaint.

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week. I see it not as spite but more of envy, they wish they also do not have to work, so hard to make a living. That has never affected our relationship with my neighbors.

We have a large garden and our neighbors are free to help themselves to what they need as we are free to gather from their gardens what we need.

Treat others as you would want others to treat you!

a good rule to live by!

Cheers

We almost don't interact with neighbors but greeted very friendly from everyone. If there is big birthday party we get invited but never go there, but give a small gift and receive some food in exchange. Don't complain when they are noisy in the night. If we change something at the house we excuse for the noise and everyone says mai pen rai even if we drill almost in their ears. But stop it in the evening.

Yelling around does not help anything.

[Berkshire]

Back on topic for a second--Thai's do not "find reasons" to not like a farang or anyone else, for that matter. If there's animosity towards the OP, I'm rather certain it was self-inflicted. From all the other posts on this thread, it appears rare that a farang would have a problem with his Thai neighbor(s), solely because he was a farang. Yet, a lot of the posters here are already taking sides with the OP, having no idea what the other side of the story is. I tend to be highly skeptical that the entire neighborhood would go out of their way to have this guy forcifully removed for petty reasons. That's pretty darn drastic, and Thai's wouldn't go through all that trouble unless it was pretty serious. Regardless, I'm sympathetic to the OP's plight and you should consider getting the heck out of Dodge. It appears things will get worse before they get any better.

[Berkshire]

"geez, how do these farang guys find such ugly Thai women all the time?"

I too have heard this many times ..... usually followed by ........ something like

Pheu see-dam, jamook bairn, na-pak my dee (skin black, nose flat, forehead no good)

Pretty much always purely racial insults against Issan girls

I once asked a Thai lady why she dated such ugly white men ...... answer "you all look same, big nose"

Good looks as judged by Thai people appear to be primarily based on skin colour, light pretty, dark ugly.

My friend has a gf with very dark skin, my wife will hardly speak to her (too ugly and lo-so), great fun when we go out together.

Actually, skin color is just one part of it, albeit the most obvious. There are in fact attractive darker skin Thai girls with stunning features who Thai's would consider attractive. But the sort of women we're talking about (as you've mentioned, the flat nose and other unattractive facial features), will also have the full package, i.e., the standard hooker attire, the tattooes, and the mannerism of a lo-so-ho, to compliment their deep dark complexion.

[chalvy]

Rules to live by in Thailand-

1- Don't give a toss what others think, Farang or Thai

2- If you insult a Thai in front of others and make a scene then there WILL be repercussions. Get over it and defuse the situation through non confrontational methods.

3- If problems persist, go to the local head man or police chief. It might not stop it but will give you a chance to show the police you are not the aggressor or instigator.

4- Understand your enemy. If you were an Englishman living in an English village and your Pakistani neighbour came and banged on your car roof and getting all up in your face what would be your reaction? You'd be doing a lot worse than this guy has done! Dollars to doughnuts the guy would be getting a visit from you and your pissed mates at 1am!

5- Do good and good will come. Its been my experience all over LOS in the past 5 years that if you generally keep to yourself, remain polite and respectful and keep out of trouble then usually it follows that they will leave you alone and respect your privacy.

The bottom line, and its been said many times before, is that you are dealing with an alien culture that has its own standards of acceptable behaviour. The fact that you got all belligerent over the car incident and subsequent visit by the police shows me you had no tact or wherewithal to approach the situation calmly or intelligently. Getting your missus to knock on his door with a bottle of Sangsom and a quiet word before it got out of hand could have saved you a lot of unnecessary grief.

[sarahsbloke]

There are in fact attractive darker skin Thai girls with stunning features who Thai's would consider attractive.

No there aren't.

Dark skin = Ugly

To a Thai

Edited May 30, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[needforspeed]

There are in fact attractive darker skin Thai girls with stunning features who Thai's would consider attractive.

No there aren't.

Dark skin = Ugly

To a Thai

My Thai mate loves Venus Williams

[chalvy]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

I do not care what people say about me in English, Spanish .Thai, behind my back. I do not look for a sinister purpose to their friendship!

When they give me gifts of homemade teak wood furniture, when they helped me pour my drive way and refuse any payment, we fed and brought the drinks. When they give my a chair and a drink and plug in the fan to keep me cool when I visit their homes . When they bring over food they have cooked and my wife does the same. When they visit me when I am sick. One can tell of genuine friendship from fake friendship.

By the intimacy of your interactions, at frist I was taken back by a male ,touching me because of my macho Mexican heritage. but now I am use to it.

I live my life the best I can every day, and do not look for negatives or have any type of complex'es related to my relationships.

Also having lived in some of the baddest barrios in Los Angeles and Tucson , and worked in most of Arizona's prison as a Veterans Counselor , I am in no way "Wet" behind the ears.

Cheers

Well Said!

[sarahsbloke]

My Thai mate loves Venus Williams sad.gif

Might it be something to do with her being a wealthy American?

[needforspeed]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

I do not care what people say about me in English, Spanish .Thai, behind my back. I do not look for a sinister purpose to their friendship!

When they give me gifts of homemade teak wood furniture, when they helped me pour my drive way and refuse any payment, we fed and brought the drinks. When they give my a chair and a drink and plug in the fan to keep me cool when I visit their homes . When they bring over food they have cooked and my wife does the same. When they visit me when I am sick. One can tell of genuine friendship from fake friendship.

By the intimacy of your interactions, at frist I was taken back by a male ,touching me because of my macho Mexican heritage. but now I am use to it.

I live my life the best I can every day, and do not look for negatives or have any type of complex'es related to my relationships.

Also having lived in some of the baddest barrios in Los Angeles and Tucson , and worked in most of Arizona's prison as a Veterans Counselor , I am in no way "Wet" behind the ears.

Cheers

Well Said!

Maybey your one out of a few hundred.

Well said , till you get stapped in the back.

Many Thais can act by taking care, be nice doing everything for you, they realy become your best friends.

And i agree they great actors, but that is the moment to be carefull.

Give one finger they grape your hand, give them your hand your F$%kt.

Hope it will work out for you, just be carefull.

Edited May 30, 2010 by needforspeed

[sarahsbloke]

@chalvy

Are you white?

I begin to think you are not. People of mexican or spanish descent can fit in quite well over here, very Thai coloured skin.

Your writing indicates your first language may not be english, maybe your neighbours just think you are a deaf Thai person?

Edited May 30, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[shanahan]

I believe to have a harmonious existance as a tourist or resident in Thailand, one needs to be polite, respectful, generally well presented, not too loud and not to assume to know too much about Thais and their culture. A blend of skepticism should help a bit aswell.

As to the OP, the other side of the story would perhaps shed some light onto why so many neighbours are up in arms.

[Loz]

OP,

did I understand right, you have been ordered to move?

If so, move, and move far! America maybe?

*warning: Sweeping generalisation alert*

They don't like us. They like what we can do to make their lives better. Sadly many of us are the same, so don't get too mad.

I schooled my new neigbour on his noisy dog when he first moved in, our first words were harsh ones. I basically said, "if you don't teach your dog not to bark every time I open my front door, I will kill it" But I said it less directly. He later that evening said he'd keep the dog in between 9pm and 7am which was I thought a very decent response. I regret out first words were harsh and keep meaning to go over with an olive branch but don't know quite how to do it. Recently I have seen he drinks beer ( I don't but,) maybe I will go round with some beers to build a bridge. I don't think the guy has a nasty bone in his body and they really do try and keep the dog from making a pest of itself.

regardless of where one lives, it is better to at least be on nodding terms with your neighbours. Now I will have to figure out how to say sorry without making an @rse of myself. Good Self development.

Having read this though, I am even more glad I don't have a thai partner. living alone gives rise to much less speculation. I like it. Always have.

[needforspeed]

My Thai mate loves Venus Williams sad.gif

Might it be something to do with her being a wealthy American?

Not maybe but 100%

[Finlaco]

I think your neighbours assume that your wife is another young poor, poorly educated esan that's married a rich sugar daddy. 

You mention buying land etc....  Maybe if your neighbours knew ur wife's educational back ground and knew that she was financially independent, maybe they'd stop assuming she was a Pattaya girl. 

 

[dumball]

'needforspeed' date='2010-05-30 12:22:35' '3653261']

'sarahsbloke' post='3653099' date='2010-05-30 12:14:23']My Thai mate loves Venus Williams sad.gif

Might it be something to do with her being a wealthy American?

Not maybe but 100%

I lived in a mostly Thai apartment building for a few years , not a problem given or taken , had mostly recognition smiles or cheery hellos , conversations with the staff and the usual 'Hangers around ' out front , a little interest shown can break a lot of ( Seeming ) ice .

[Zstarx]

Can I ask if you are German?

[watcher101]

My Thai mate loves Venus Williams sad.gif

Might it be something to do with her being a wealthy American?

Or the fact she looks like a man... your Thai friend needs help!

Venus Williams - Scary

[losworld]

Sorry Birdman, your English is not too good, very hard to understand

Anyway Bobby, one good reason to understand Thai is to know when your wife is cheating on you, and what her family think of you.

And how many of you TV types in the UK winge on about bloody foreigners living in the UK and not speaking English, it's just rude.

Why go through all the trouble to learn the language (although quite commendable) when you can simply use a digital recorder than have someone translate it later!

[powderpuff]

The part about the neighbors complaining about fast driving really strikes a chord. My wife & mother-in-law get the same stuff.

Water off a ducks back.

Since most of them drive faster than I do I pay no attention.

In no case can anyone force you to move.

Property rights are at the core of being Thai.

[yabaaaa]

You reap what you sow!

You do not interact with your neighbors!

I am the only farang living in my village, All my neighbors have been to my home and me to theirs. We are invited to every village functions and I was even picked to hand out certificates at my daughters school. We are well received in our village, there are only two Thais I go out of my way to avoid ,both the village drunks.

I think when you do move, move to a Farang town, I believe it is your attitude that is the reason people do not like you, and you will have the same problems in any other place you move or change your attitude.

Thai"s dislike yelling, especially being yelled at, also you were the aggressor when you attacked the man in his car and dented the roof. all villages have a headman and that is where you should have gone to voice your complaint. or the police department and filed a complaint.

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week. I see it not as spite but more of envy, they wish they also do not have to work, so hard to make a living. That has never affected our relationship with my neighbors.

We have a large garden and our neighbors are free to help themselves to what they need as we are free to gather from their gardens what we need.

Treat others as you would want others to treat you!

a good rule to live by!

Cheers

i leave others alone will they leave me alone? i dont want ant contact.

[473geo]

Issan full of Swiss, who can hardly speak English

note to self ; continue to NEVER go to isaan

Thanks....

[yabaaaa]

My Thai wife and I, children and dogs have a great relationship with our neighbours.

The local people, salt of the earth.

Firstly in most cases, (not all) it is illegal for the Farang to purchase land, even in his Thai wife’s name, the same for growing and selling agricultural food products. Maybe this is one of the reasons why the police are giving the OP hassle.

I find it difficult to believe that all those people would make such statements and go as far as actually submitting them to the police, if there was no truth or actual facts behind their complaints, which is entirely opposite to the Thai way of doing things, because most Thais like to give themselves and the police a wide berth. There must be some extremes for the neighbours to take such action.

In Thailand, foreigners need to learn and adapt to the ways of the Thais, the overwhelming majority of people that surround us.

It`s not strictly a case of live and let live for us in Thailand. Some habits and certain behaviours the Thais find insulting and rude, even if it`s considered the norm or tolerated in Western society.

I would say that unless the OP takes a good realistic honest to himself look at what’s causing his problems, than he is going to have trouble wherever he goes in Thailand, eventually concluding in all doors closing behind him within this wonderful country where I feel, tolerated, respected and privileged to be among the Thai people.

Your right and as such I have learnt that beating my child and wife can be enjoyable, dumping all my rubbish is also much easier. Am I Thai enough yet?

[tigerfish]

My Thai wife and I, children and dogs have a great relationship with our neighbours.

The local people, salt of the earth.

Firstly in most cases, (not all) it is illegal for the Farang to purchase land, even in his Thai wife's name, the same for growing and selling agricultural food products. Maybe this is one of the reasons why the police are giving the OP hassle.

I find it difficult to believe that all those people would make such statements and go as far as actually submitting them to the police, if there was no truth or actual facts behind their complaints, which is entirely opposite to the Thai way of doing things, because most Thais like to give themselves and the police a wide berth. There must be some extremes for the neighbours to take such action.

In Thailand, foreigners need to learn and adapt to the ways of the Thais, the overwhelming majority of people that surround us.

It`s not strictly a case of live and let live for us in Thailand. Some habits and certain behaviours the Thais find insulting and rude, even if it`s considered the norm or tolerated in Western society.

I would say that unless the OP takes a good realistic honest to himself look at what's causing his problems, than he is going to have trouble wherever he goes in Thailand, eventually concluding in all doors closing behind him within this wonderful country where I feel, tolerated, respected and privileged to be among the Thai people.

Your right and as such I have learnt that beating my child and wife can be enjoyable, dumping all my rubbish is also much easier. Am I Thai enough yet?

you frogot the bit about picking your nose in public.

[kikoman]

@chalvy

Are you white?

I begin to think you are not. People of mexican or spanish descent can fit in quite well over here, very Thai coloured skin.

Your writing indicates your first language may not be english, maybe your neighbours just think you are a deaf Thai person?

That answered my question before I asked it, You are using color as a gauge of who is beautiful, ugly, and low so. You have a friend that should dump you as a friend, You and your GF do not respect his wife , then who needs you for a friend.

What difference dose Chalvy skin color make!

Also I take offence at your lack of understanding/making a joke of people with disabilities, but coming from you, I will let it go considering the source.

May be as a Mexican same skin color as the Thais you would fit in. By your writing you are not from the States, where you would fit in better as for your skin color, Racism is on the rise there, might be more to your liking than Non-White Thailand.

Cheers

Edited May 30, 2010 by kikoman

[tonywebster]

Wow, this is shocking. Move out fast, because these feckers are not going to stop now.

Now I'm wondering what my neigbours are thinking of us! Only one of em talks to us, and the rest are rude feckers when it comes to leaving there <deleted> including cars in the middle of the soi.

I really feel like a pakkie sometimes, I come from Slough so know how they are treated!

That's it! We are packies! Get used to it. Fark, <deleted>, what a life!!!!!

I was going to suggest the op rent his house out to some pakkies or africans

I have lived in my house for 5 years now, had a few disagreements with people nearby, I have always stood my ground with them and never backed down, I will wait for them to walk away from me and never the other way round, and now after all this time people have started to talk to me when i am out with my dogs.

[sarahsbloke]

That answered my question before I asked it, You are using color as a gauge of who is beautiful, ugly, and low so. You have a friend that should dump you as a friend, You and your GF do not respect his wife , then who needs you for a friend.

I find the colour problem between my Thai wife (light skin) and my mates Thai gf (dark skin) all very amusing as does my mate.

Whenever my wife doesn't come out with us, the dark gf brings her dark sister for me to play with (sort of revenge on my wife)

I always end up having a great evening.

Edited May 30, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[spud1]

That answered my question before I asked it, You are using color as a gauge of who is beautiful, ugly, and low so. You have a friend that should dump you as a friend, You and your GF do not respect his wife , then who needs you for a friend.

I find the colour problem between my Thai wife (light skin) and my mates Thai gf (dark skin) all very amusing as does my mate.

Whenever my wife doesn't come out with us, the dark gf brings her dark sister for me to play with (sort of revenge on my wife)

I always end up having a great evening.

I,m just curious.Are the wifes both from Issarn.

[jackr]

My Thai mate loves Venus Williams sad.gif

Might it be something to do with her being a wealthy American?

Or the fact she looks like a man... your Thai friend needs help!

Rubbish. Nice girl and a crakin' set of pins.