Finding Farang Friends

[thaisomchai]

Are there any real life groups of farangs in Cha am/ Hua hin who get together for a meal once in a while or for book discussion or anything like that? It would be nice to make connections in real life but not around golf or football. And it would be nice to just chat with locals from time to time

[gotlost]

:cheesy:Without golf or football?

[thaisomchai]

"Gotlost" . ..exactly. But given the number of expat farangs here, there must be at least a few who are not golfers or football fanatics . . .

[massimoscz]

i'm often in that area, i wonder if there are those groups as well....anyway i'm not interested in football or golf

[BangkokBill09]

Thaisomchai,

Looking at some of the replies you pulled in kind of makes me wonder if moving to Thailand is the right thing for me. To be sure, not all of the Farangs I've met are jock-oriented, beer-guzzling, jokesters who are afraid of their feelings. I'm building a house in Pranburi (20 minutes south of Hua Hin) and will be arriving first week of August. One of the first orders of business for me will be to gather a small group of men secure enough in themselves to talk about "men's issues" without fear of losing their "manliness." I've been in a men's group for the past three years and have formed such a strong bond with 7 other men, that leaving them to live in another country is almost as hard as selling a house that I love and living in Hawaii. We talk about all kinds of "men's" issues, and not just about women. Families of origin, self-esteem, career and job, finances, etc. are some of the issues we've discussed. Interesting enough, we don't just talk about relationship issues with women. There are a lot of other things men need to discuss with other men that helps them to better understand themselves and others.

So.... if you are interested in helping me form such a group, please write back. Of course, you have to collect the right group of men for a men's group to work. It will not be an open invitation. You need a one-night-a-week commitment from everyone, and you need to make sure personalities and temperament match. Otherwise the group doesn't work too well. I suggest we start with the two of us, talk about what it is we are looking for, establish some guidelines, and then invite others into the circle. If you find the right group of men, it could be an amazing, meaningful, and rewarding experience.

Bangkok Bill

[OOB]

Thaisomchai,

Looking at some of the replies you pulled in kind of makes me wonder if moving to Thailand is the right thing for me. To be sure, not all of the Farangs I've met are jock-oriented, beer-guzzling, jokesters who are afraid of their feelings. I'm building a house in Pranburi (20 minutes south of Hua Hin) and will be arriving first week of August. One of the first orders of business for me will be to gather a small group of men secure enough in themselves to talk about "men's issues" without fear of losing their "manliness." I've been in a men's group for the past three years and have formed such a strong bond with 7 other men, that leaving them to live in another country is almost as hard as selling a house that I love and living in Hawaii. We talk about all kinds of "men's" issues, and not just about women. Families of origin, self-esteem, career and job, finances, etc. are some of the issues we've discussed. Interesting enough, we don't just talk about relationship issues with women. There are a lot of other things men need to discuss with other men that helps them to better understand themselves and others.

So.... if you are interested in helping me form such a group, please write back. Of course, you have to collect the right group of men for a men's group to work. It will not be an open invitation. You need a one-night-a-week commitment from everyone, and you need to make sure personalities and temperament match. Otherwise the group doesn't work too well. I suggest we start with the two of us, talk about what it is we are looking for, establish some guidelines, and then invite others into the circle. If you find the right group of men, it could be an amazing, meaningful, and rewarding experience.

Bangkok Bill

In your three years of weekly gatherings with like-minded men (who are not beer drinking sports fans), prey tell, how many times was 'homosexuality' raised as a discussion item?

BTW:- I'm not taking the piss (a lot), I just don't get the concept of your group and I'm trying to understand what would make a disparate group of 'right men' want to leave their wife/family once a week for a 'chat'.

[BangkokBill09]

Thaisomchai,

Looking at some of the replies you pulled in kind of makes me wonder if moving to Thailand is the right thing for me. To be sure, not all of the Farangs I've met are jock-oriented, beer-guzzling, jokesters who are afraid of their feelings. I'm building a house in Pranburi (20 minutes south of Hua Hin) and will be arriving first week of August. One of the first orders of business for me will be to gather a small group of men secure enough in themselves to talk about "men's issues" without fear of losing their "manliness." I've been in a men's group for the past three years and have formed such a strong bond with 7 other men, that leaving them to live in another country is almost as hard as selling a house that I love and living in Hawaii. We talk about all kinds of "men's" issues, and not just about women. Families of origin, self-esteem, career and job, finances, etc. are some of the issues we've discussed. Interesting enough, we don't just talk about relationship issues with women. There are a lot of other things men need to discuss with other men that helps them to better understand themselves and others.

So.... if you are interested in helping me form such a group, please write back. Of course, you have to collect the right group of men for a men's group to work. It will not be an open invitation. You need a one-night-a-week commitment from everyone, and you need to make sure personalities and temperament match. Otherwise the group doesn't work too well. I suggest we start with the two of us, talk about what it is we are looking for, establish some guidelines, and then invite others into the circle. If you find the right group of men, it could be an amazing, meaningful, and rewarding experience.

Bangkok Bill

In your three years of weekly gatherings with like-minded men (who are not beer drinking sports fans), prey tell, how many times was 'homosexuality' raised as a discussion item?

BTW:- I'm not taking the piss (a lot), I just don't get the concept of your group and I'm trying to understand what would make a disparate group of 'right men' want to leave their wife/family once a week for a 'chat'.

[BangkokBill09]

Dear OOB,

There are four aspects to finding happiness in life: Family, community, vocation, and spiritual growth. Leaving one's wife and family for a "night out with friends" involves community, and is a necessary part of finding deep satisfaction with one's life. Forming close friendships with like-minded guys is very supportive, especially during the rough spots we all encounter in life. An understanding wife would (and often does) encourage their men to form meaningful friendships with other guys, outside of their own relationship. It's healthy and wise. It sounds like a "men's group" is something you wouldn't be interested in, and that's your prerogative. Obviously, It's not for everyone. But, for men like yourself, these kinds of groups can be very challenging and can be used as a vehicle for personal growth.

Bill

P.S. Since none of the guys in our group are "gay," the issue doesn't come up, much, if ever.

Thaisomchai,

Looking at some of the replies you pulled in kind of makes me wonder if moving to Thailand is the right thing for me. To be sure, not all of the Farangs I've met are jock-oriented, beer-guzzling, jokesters who are afraid of their feelings. I'm building a house in Pranburi (20 minutes south of Hua Hin) and will be arriving first week of August. One of the first orders of business for me will be to gather a small group of men secure enough in themselves to talk about "men's issues" without fear of losing their "manliness." I've been in a men's group for the past three years and have formed such a strong bond with 7 other men, that leaving them to live in another country is almost as hard as selling a house that I love and living in Hawaii. We talk about all kinds of "men's" issues, and not just about women. Families of origin, self-esteem, career and job, finances, etc. are some of the issues we've discussed. Interesting enough, we don't just talk about relationship issues with women. There are a lot of other things men need to discuss with other men that helps them to better understand themselves and others.

So.... if you are interested in helping me form such a group, please write back. Of course, you have to collect the right group of men for a men's group to work. It will not be an open invitation. You need a one-night-a-week commitment from everyone, and you need to make sure personalities and temperament match. Otherwise the group doesn't work too well. I suggest we start with the two of us, talk about what it is we are looking for, establish some guidelines, and then invite others into the circle. If you find the right group of men, it could be an amazing, meaningful, and rewarding experience.

Bangkok Bill

In your three years of weekly gatherings with like-minded men (who are not beer drinking sports fans), prey tell, how many times was 'homosexuality' raised as a discussion item?

BTW:- I'm not taking the piss (a lot), I just don't get the concept of your group and I'm trying to understand what would make a disparate group of 'right men' want to leave their wife/family once a week for a 'chat'.

[OOB]

Dear OOB,

There are four aspects to finding happiness in life: Family, community, vocation, and spiritual growth. Leaving one's wife and family for a "night out with friends" involves community, and is a necessary part of finding deep satisfaction with one's life. Forming close friendships with like-minded guys is very supportive, especially during the rough spots we all encounter in life. An understanding wife would (and often does) encourage their men to form meaningful friendships with other guys, outside of their own relationship. It's healthy and wise. It sounds like a "men's group" is something you wouldn't be interested in, and that's your prerogative. Obviously, It's not for everyone. But, for men like yourself, these kinds of groups can be very challenging and can be used as a vehicle for personal growth.

Bill - you use terms such as 'men like myself' and 'like-minded guys', whilst earlier alienating 'jocks' and 'beer drinkers'. What is not at all clear is how your 'mens group' is any different from a golf group or a book group...or a religious group.

Perhaps you could make it easy for me and state what it is that your group has that my regular golf group does not, for instance?

[johnnyk]

Men's groups may be popular or necessary in the west where men are on the run from PC harridans, feminazis and hostile divorce-court judges. I doubt there's a need for men to circle the wagons in Thailand. That said, lots of instant friends can be found in bars. In fact, a brand-new best friend can be had for the price of a small Chang. But beware, many are ex-SAS and CIA Special Ops types. 555

[BangkokBill09]

Dear OOB,

There are four aspects to finding happiness in life: Family, community, vocation, and spiritual growth. Leaving one's wife and family for a "night out with friends" involves community, and is a necessary part of finding deep satisfaction with one's life. Forming close friendships with like-minded guys is very supportive, especially during the rough spots we all encounter in life. An understanding wife would (and often does) encourage their men to form meaningful friendships with other guys, outside of their own relationship. It's healthy and wise. It sounds like a "men's group" is something you wouldn't be interested in, and that's your prerogative. Obviously, It's not for everyone. But, for men like yourself, these kinds of groups can be very challenging and can be used as a vehicle for personal growth.

Bill - you use terms such as 'men like myself' and 'like-minded guys', whilst earlier alienating 'jocks' and 'beer drinkers'. What is not at all clear is how your 'mens group' is any different from a golf group or a book group...or a religious group.

Perhaps you could make it easy for me and state what it is that your group has that my regular golf group does not, for instance?

OOB,

Your questions is a good one. At first hand I'd say, I really don't know the answer to that. What I do know is that when I go out with my friends to a superbowl party, or to a local bar for a few drinks, or even to a strip club (I live in Hawaii), the conversation is very different. It's just not the same as when we get together with a particular group of "like-minded" individuals who are willing to go a little deeper in expressing themselves to tackle issues and answers to questions that have been bugging them for many years, if not their entire lives. We also need a forum to discuss what's happening in the present. There's an element of safety and security attached to our group experience (we call it safe-porting); when we meet as a group there's no fear that any of us will be ridiculed, put-down, or invalidated for what we think or believe, or share in group. How many times have you been with some guys and you've held something back to avoid a confrontation; or you didn't speak up because you felt no one would "get it," or understand. That doesn't happen in group. We have permission to call people on their stuff if it's relative to the present moment. This also isn't a group that tries to "fix" anyone and we are careful not to offer advice unless it's asked for. But what invariably happens is that with the particular kind of "group" focus, we go to places, sometimes painful places, that men don't usually go when they are "out for a few." With that said, your golf group, or book club, or church group, might do the same thing, but it's probably not likely because the focus and intent is different. All I can tell you is that none of us in the group thought we would find it so challenging, stimulating and rewarding as it is. It's just a different experience from other more typical men's gatherings that you speak of. And personally, I learned not only a lot about myself and why I behave like I do and fuc_k up like I do, but also about what really goes on inside the heads of other men. But this is something obviously that not all men are interested in. That's understandable. That's why I use the term "like-minded." It's not meant to be derogatory in any way.

[BangkokBill09]

Men's groups may be popular or necessary in the west where men are on the run from PC harridans, feminazis and hostile divorce-court judges. I doubt there's a need for men to circle the wagons in Thailand. That said, lots of instant friends can be found in bars. In fact, a brand-new best friend can be had for the price of a small Chang. But beware, many are ex-SAS and CIA Special Ops types. 555

Johnny,

I've been visiting Thailand for three years now, two months at a time, twice a year. And I've connected with quite a few Farangs whose self-esteem and self-respect has been badly damaged by some pretty incredible blunders, especially concerning women.... What a men's group does is gives these guys a forum to express themselves safely, and to hear from other guys who have screwed up big time also. I'm not living in Thailand yet, but I'll dare say that there's plenty of Farangs out there who need to vent in a safe space with supportive friends. No, I don't see Thailand as immune from men needing to "circle the wagons." Quite the contrary.... Thai isn't our mother tongue, nor are we Asian. There are some things we will never understand about this culture... So, supporting one another, as this website seems to do, is very important.

More importantly, instant friends are something some men don't want. Many find no value or worth in forming friendships with guys who are unauthentic, unaware, or in denial. That's not to say you can't find a good friend and begin a meaningful relationship over a small Chang. It's just the friendships I'm talking about don't happen instantly, they happen slowly over time.

What we are doing here is important. "Birds of a feather..." and all that. You pick your friends to complement what you are looking for... and that's what this dialogue is all about....

Bill

[OOB]

Fair play to you Bill, it is obviously something you are passionate about.

To me it sounds like a crutch for weak individuals and/or those with a poor support network of friends and family...but perhaps I am a cynic.

What I would say is that you really need to brush up your pitch, because you have pretty much failed to explain to me what it is this group offers and why I would want to join. I'm not sure how you will form a group larger than one if you are unable to sell the benefits of such a group to your peers.

Best of luck with your imminent move over here.

OOB

[thaisomchai]

Men's groups may be popular or necessary in the west where men are on the run from PC harridans, feminazis and hostile divorce-court judges. I doubt there's a need for men to circle the wagons in Thailand. That said, lots of instant friends can be found in bars. In fact, a brand-new best friend can be had for the price of a small Chang. But beware, many are ex-SAS and CIA Special Ops types. 555

Intstant friends? . .found in bars? . ..I think not. Not here anyway. I am not a "hanging in a bar" kind of person . .though i drink when out with friends . .no problem. But thats where the Brit footballers hang out . .and/or the bar girls. I happen to walk up bintabaht street every few days on my way to the gym and I have never sat down for a beer.

The majority of farangs in these bars are passing Swedish tourists anyway . .so this is not a solution at all.The thing about Hua hin is that the majority of resident expats are British and they form a fairly cohesive social group around certain bars . . .so I understand . . .and they get along great with their football and pool and shared pints. Just not my scene for a number of reasons.

Bangkok Bill I will PM you . .I am looking for some kind of social group that might fit my needs here. Lets talk.

[thaisomchai]

Fair play to you Bill, it is obviously something you are passionate about.

To me it sounds like a crutch for weak individuals and/or those with a poor support network of friends and family...but perhaps I am a cynic.

What I would say is that you really need to brush up your pitch, because you have pretty much failed to explain to me what it is this group offers and why I would want to join. I'm not sure how you will form a group larger than one if you are unable to sell the benefits of such a group to your peers.

Best of luck with your imminent move over here.

OOB

Doesnt sound like a crutch to me. . . .and getting a network of friends here is just not that easy you know. I have been at it for years now. No luck yet. ..hence this topic.

And i am going to be satisfied with a group of people who meet for dinner once a month!! My only criteria so far are that the people are friendly and that the main topic of conversation is not sports! ( Or bargirls !) And the main purpose in meeting is friendship, & good conversation . . . . .not getting smashed on Chang.

[OOB]

The underlying issue, as I read it, is that you both appear to be focusing on what you don't want (i.e. not sports fans, not beer drinkers). The reason golf, book, church, ANother groups work is the shared interest. Why don't you set up a special interest group in something and focus on the positives (not the 'don't wants')? I think you'll find that some beer-drinking golf fans like poetry, for instance...and by simply saying you don't want to meet golfers or drinkers you are reducing your options.

As to the point that making friends here is harder than anywhere else...I personally disagree. Why not open the net up to locals for instance, give yourself an even bigger pond to fish in?

[BangkokBill09]

Fair play to you Bill, it is obviously something you are passionate about.

To me it sounds like a crutch for weak individuals and/or those with a poor support network of friends and family...but perhaps I am a cynic.

What I would say is that you really need to brush up your pitch, because you have pretty much failed to explain to me what it is this group offers and why I would want to join. I'm not sure how you will form a group larger than one if you are unable to sell the benefits of such a group to your peers.

Best of luck with your imminent move over here.

OOB

OOB,

I know this looked like a pitch, but that wasn't my intent. This kind of thing can't be pitched. It just happens naturally, as with Thaisomchai's response to our trail.

Thanks for the well-wishes and I hope someday we get a chance to meet.

Bill

[BangkokBill09]

Men's groups may be popular or necessary in the west where men are on the run from PC harridans, feminazis and hostile divorce-court judges. I doubt there's a need for men to circle the wagons in Thailand. That said, lots of instant friends can be found in bars. In fact, a brand-new best friend can be had for the price of a small Chang. But beware, many are ex-SAS and CIA Special Ops types. 555

Intstant friends? . .found in bars? . ..I think not. Not here anyway. I am not a "hanging in a bar" kind of person . .though i drink when out with friends . .no problem. But thats where the Brit footballers hang out . .and/or the bar girls. I happen to walk up bintabaht street every few days on my way to the gym and I have never sat down for a beer.

The majority of farangs in these bars are passing Swedish tourists anyway . .so this is not a solution at all.The thing about Hua hin is that the majority of resident expats are British and they form a fairly cohesive social group around certain bars . . .so I understand . . .and they get along great with their football and pool and shared pints. Just not my scene for a number of reasons.

Bangkok Bill I will PM you . .I am looking for some kind of social group that might fit my needs here. Lets talk.

Thaisomchai,

Thought you might like to read comments from some members of my group. I've been passing along this discussion to them and thought they might like to answer OOB's original question about how a men's gorup might differ from a golf or drinking group.

Replies from some members of our group:

A couple of thoughts come to mind after reading your email.

1) When someone plays the "homo" card, it might be a flag that they are not comfortable with their own sexuality. Some farangs in Thailand might be there to prove their manhood and so perhaps are not ready for our style of men's gathering.

2) If you have to sell the idea to someone, likely they are not ready. When ready, enthusiasm and willingness are available.

3) Our men's gathering style does not preclude beer drinking and sports enthusiasm. However, someone who does think gathering with men can only be "normal" if those topics are prevalent raises again a flag of contraction.

4) Golf interests do not preclude thoughtful heartfelt discussion.

I'd think you might find more like minded folks among some of the English speaking Thai men. Or in a forum where open minded conscious folks gather.

IMHO, just my two cents.

R-aeronautical engineer, Director of several sustainable non-profit orgniaizations.

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I guess when I used the challenge of 'diversifying one's emotional portfolio' I touched on what has become important to me. Frequently Men's emotional support system is their wife-and no other which is a fairly dumb investment strategy. Since the industrial age men have been somewhat relegated to watching ritual war or playing ritual war games or actually killing things together, but true brotherhood and camaraderie has been sacrificed for emotional isolation. However, secretly I do think all of you have cute asses but I have never said so.

D-Chiropractor

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I got the sense that these fellows in Thailand don't share the same identity of "real men being able to express feelings to other men" especially with more than one man and to strangers at that; that's what they might do with "their women" if they are lucky.

I could go into a long drawn out explanation of the differences of the female mind from the male mind and what we are doing in our group is fostering the feminine receptive mind. In fact we barred a fellow from our group because he was being a typical male ass-hole. But I don't think that from the replies of the guys in Thailand to you, that they would be interested in a group. Bob's advice is sound, if you have to convince them, forget it.

Or I guess you could describe our group as a bunch of big sissy's trying to be cool in being sensitive feeling type guys.

A – Owns and runs a house painting business in Hawaii.

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Generally speaking we don't get the time, the space and the support to share our feelings and concerns that come up in everyday life. We also don't have an outlet to be feeling fully engaged and heard without someone trying to fix the situation or see it as a problem.

We open up the concept of family, so it becomes broader and not restricted to 'wife'. The art of conversation is not a usual agenda item in families, that's often what makes it 'safe', but also often unavailable for deeper sharing. Too many (unconscious) roles are being played out; many disparate power and authority issues are at play. The men's group is not better, it's a different forum for responsible, respectful communication and sharing one's self and participating in life. Feelingful interaction with men is (unfortunately) not usual in our day.

We don't have 'topics' or discussion items, but when it's relevant to anyone we can allow each other to share feelings and thoughts without having to react from our emotional defensiveness or having to find the 'right' answer or even agree.

We are not using an activity other than sharing to take to be the focus of getting together; so we make ourselves available to each other by our attention and acceptance of whatever is shared. Receiving support is rather rare in our culture, even the ability to receive it. Finding out what we think often happens as we share our thoughts - not having to be logical or even rational; allowing for free flow from each other - tolerance of the frustration of listening to someone just getting the space to be themselves. It's not everyone's cup of tea. But then again most people never had a chance to actually be accepted for who they are.

B-retired lawyer

[OOB]

Bill - thanks for sharing.

I take exception to a couple of the points Bob has made, but he did not necessarily know that you'd be sharing his email and as such I'll give the benefit of doubt.

That said, the underlying theme of your group's response and this thread as a whole is one of clique and superiority. Despite my repeated calls for a rational explanation of what the group entails and the benefits of it, the response is broadly 'if you don't know, you are not ready'. Well, perhaps this is the case, but without education would one ever be ready for anything?

I wish you well in your attempt to replicate what you have in Hawaii here in Thailand. I go back to my earlier post though, which is if you can not explain/pitch/sell what it is then you severely limit your chances of success.

[HHexile]

What BB Bill describes sounds like the type of thing many people will be seeking refuge in Thailand from.

And big job titles rather than 'builder' or 'thief' doesn't add much (apart from amusement being used in the same sentance)

Pretentious, moi?

But to the OP, if this be your thing, good luck.

BBB - Is a fee involved?

Edited June 15, 2010 by HHexile

[tomat]

A Rotary club was chartered recently in Hua Hin Rotary Club of Royal Hua Hin (there has been one for many years for the Thais, but this new club is international).

[thaisomchai]

Thanks for all the replies and responses to my OP. Many of you seem to understand the situation as i presented it and the suggestions . .especially of the Rotary Club and the possible men's group are excellent and I will follow up on them. ( Heading home from Bkk tomorrow and I will do this on my home computer)

Just to address another comment . . .as a very long time resident, most of my friends here ARE Thai . .and i love them all dearly. But you will know if you have been here that if any two Thai people are put together for five minutes . .anywhere . .they will talk Thai. Which leaves me pretty much out of the conversation.

Also . . .I have expressed myself in terms of negatives because I have had an incredibly varied life so far with more interests at one time or another than I could begin to list. I have tried before throwing out interests . .but they tend to just attract flak. (You try finding others who like poetry, birding, music, theatre, reading, waterskiing, singing, history . . .whatever . .and see how far you get!)

I envy those of you who have a "poker night" or a monthly dinner or a Sunday gathering at a friend's house every week or two.

Edited June 16, 2010 by thaisomchai

[hhfarang]

I understand your frustration thaisomchai. I'm not one to have a lot of friends, life is too busy, but I've always had two or three really good friends until I moved here and it is hard to get that kind of relationship going here as everyone seems to have a priority of family, business, or other and do not have time for real friendship like I knew back in the U.S.. Good luck to you and I hope you can find what you are looking for.

[BangkokBill09]

Thanks for all the replies and responses to my OP. Many of you seem to understand the situation as i presented it and the suggestions . .especially of the Rotary Club and the possible men's group are excellent and I will follow up on them. ( Heading home from Bkk tomorrow and I will do this on my home computer)

Just to address another comment . . .as a very long time resident, most of my friends here ARE Thai . .and i love them all dearly. But you will know if you have been here that if any two Thai people are put together for five minutes . .anywhere . .they will talk Thai. Which leaves me pretty much out of the conversation.

Also . . .I have expressed myself in terms of negatives because I have had an incredibly varied life so far with more interests at one time or another than I could begin to list. I have tried before throwing out interests . .but they tend to just attract flak. (You try finding others who like poetry, birding, music, theatre, reading, waterskiing, singing, history . . .whatever . .and see how far you get!)

I envy those of you who have a "poker night" or a monthly dinner or a Sunday gathering at a friend's house every week or two.

The hardest thing men have to deal with is accepting other men who are different from themselves. There's a lot of pressure on men to "be a certain way," and when we are not, we are often criticized for it--by other men. That is why it's very important to find company with "like-minded men." and yes, they do exist. You put yourself out there by starting this discussion, and you did the right thing. As you can see it generated a lot of buzz. So, contact me if you'd like through this site and we can talk. Just to let you know, other's on this sight have already contacted me and yes, I can see some potential already for some meaningful and rewarding friendships.

Good luck,

Bill

[thaisomchai]

Well, this has been an interesting forum thread and thanks to those of you who replied with suggestions. I will pm Bill today and see what we can arrange.

As I say, unless you have lived here for a while and become as much a part of Thai society as a farang can ever become ( welcoming in-laws, great Thai friends, good neighbors etc) you might not realize that you might miss that easy camaraderie that comes with sharing a language and a background .and an interest or two.

And I will never know Thai well enough to have that easy camaraderie with Thais, in part because I have come to know that it makes Thai people a bit uncomfortable when a farang is able to understand EVERYthing. And in part because I am already bilingual ( English/Spanish) & I can make my way in French & Italian and read some German and Latin . . .so the fact that I have picked up any Thai at all has surprised me. (The space in my brain allotted to languages was filled long ago!)

Thanks again everyone.