Bought Your Wife! Your Response?

[Foggy Dew]

Hi All,

Today while in conversation with two other men both in their late 50s, one said to the other that he should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me!

In 4 years living here in Ireland with my wife I have never had anything negative said to me before.

I was shocked and let him know in no uncertain terms that kind of talk was not acceptable. However I was not prepared and didn’t know how to respond properly, somewhere between totally ignoring the comment and kicking the sh1t out him.

How do you / would you react?

Foggy

[sarahsbloke]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

[Changian]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

She's not much of a romantic, is she?. Didn't indentured workers used to say the same thing?

[Foggy Dew]

I also paid sin sod but only for show, it was given back to me the next day.

I did not tell my wife about this, she would be upset. She gets pissed off when Thailand gets "sex tourist" press.

Edited June 28, 2010 by Foggy Dew

[Ulysses G.]

An old time bar-owner in Chiang Mai used to tell everyone how he'd gone to a village where he'd never been before. They trotted out all the single women who stood in line and he'd pointed to one and  paid cash on the barrel-head for his wife. 

They were together for years and had a lovely daughter. Eventually she left him for a younger man, but I can not say that I blamed her. 

[tgw]

@OP : you still worry about what old & stupid people say?

[garyh]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

How do you feel about that, she married you because you paid the money?

[dave111223]

one said to the other that should go to Thailand and buy a wife like me

By "me" do you mean that he was saying that you had bought your wife, or that he had bought his wife, and that the other should do that same as him?

[bkkjames]

I went for the long-term mortgage on mine. Paying in monthly installments it seems. Love you dear. 

[toybits]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

[sarahsbloke]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

How do you feel about that, she married you because you paid the money?

Not bothered really, I tell her it was a gift with no strings attached, she is free to leave at any time (but she chooses to stay).

I left my western values behind in the western world, who am I to say Asians do things wrong and the western world is right.

[dominique355]

My wife explained to me that the Sinsod idea was considered as a compensation to the parents, who will no longer have a daughter to look after them once they are too old to work. It was not "buying" her.

Well, anyway, we all "buy" our wifes in one way or another. I don't use "buy" as a legal term, but to describe the fact that in one way or another there is always money involved in the transaction. It can be Sinsod, or a hugely expensive wedding ring or simply life support for her for the rest of the married life. (And I am no mentioning the consequences e.g. in USA when you get divorced).

I like the idea of respecting the tradition, giving the parents the Sinsod, which after is quietly returned to the husband or to the couple.

[Livinginexile]

An old time bar-owner in Chiang Mai used to tell everyone how he'd gone to a village where he'd never been before. They trotted out all the single women who stood in line and he'd pointed to one and paid cash on the barrel-head for his wife.

They were together for years and had a lovely daughter. Eventually she left him for a younger man, but I can not say that I blamed her.

What a load of rubish.

It's bullshit stories like this that gives Thailand a bad name!

I think your "old' time bar owner" mate has had a few too many in his time

Edited June 28, 2010 by Livinginexile

[robblok]

There are enough guys that rent their wives, and pay monthly installments for them. So its not a crazy thing to think. However there are enough guys who don't "buy" their wives too. If someone suggested i bought mine id be insulted. I would not go into it with total strangers and would not care about it.

However if friends were thinking something like that id have a conversation with them and they could end up without my friendship. My first wife was a real looker and she lived with me in Holland. I got some bad remarks about her (they turned out to be true). So if they are saying your wife is bad it might just be that she is bad and your too blind to see it. I was blind at first and now i see things differently. It was a good lesson.

[onnut]

I don't think any one can escape those thoughts and comments from people in farang land.

When in UK at a car club meet with the chaps, l said l met a Thai lady, someone said, ''how much did that cost you'', to a roar of laughter from the guys. It's the mindset of the west, l think . I thought at the time, l wonder how much would they pay to get away from their dragon.

Even my mother and sisters all made similar comments. So, ignore it.

I would go as far to say most of the guys are jealous that you had the balls to make a life changing move and perhaps have a beautiful Thai lady when they have to deal with their dragons.

Very true! LOL

[anothertorres]

should really only affect you if it's true. if not, that dude is a total jerk and you should have kicked him in the ankle and bid adieu.

[somtampet]

There are enough guys that rent their wives, and pay monthly installments for them. So its not a crazy thing to think. However there are enough guys who don't "buy" their wives too. If someone suggested i bought mine id be insulted. I would not go into it with total strangers and would not care about it.

However if friends were thinking something like that id have a conversation with them and they could end up without my friendship. My first wife was a real looker and she lived with me in Holland. I got some bad remarks about her (they turned out to be true). So if they are saying your wife is bad it might just be that she is bad and your too blind to see it. I was blind at first and now i see things differently. It was a good lesson.

A good and honest post ROB.

My first thai gf was living in the uk,working as a hotel manager and i got the flak too,with younger guys staring at her and giving her the eye.She was 17 years younger than me and a stunner.Unfortunately she drank too much and i found out she had a husband who allowed her to see me because he was impotent due to chemo(he had a brain tumour).This guy was younger than her and 19 years younger than me,but she chose me out of all the english lads.I had to dump her as i didnt agree with her drinking and she wanted to move in with me after a 1.5 year courtship,and i said she had to take care of her husband.

I have to accept she was a bad woman,but she had her needs too

[bendejo]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

Answer: no, but I met yours at one

[slapout]

What difference will it make if you meet your gf, wife, in a bar in Thailand, Europe, North America, or Russia? People meet in bars, church, coffee shops, school, etc and may even bump into each other on the foot path. Its the quality of the product that matters not if it were found at Sears, Walmart or Harrods. The people who find the old master painting in a pawn shop have nothing to justify or explain, to those who received theirs thru the world famous auction houses. both have found a work of art that others, either accept, detest, or envy.

[sanook2me]

I don't think any one can escape those thoughts and comments from people in farang land.

When in UK at a car club meet with the chaps, l said l met a Thai lady, someone said, ''how much did that cost you'', to a roar of laughter from the guys. It's the mindset of the west, l think . I thought at the time, l wonder how much would they pay to get away from their dragon.

Even my mother and sisters all made similar comments. So, ignore it.

I would go as far to say most of the guys are jealous that you had the balls to make a life changing move and perhaps have a beautiful Thai lady when they have to deal with their dragons.

So true..sorry to say...i've had similar things said..sometimes i get mad and a little nasty but most times just laugh and depending who said what made a mental note not to speak that person again....

Its funny though as you know that the blokes who are laughing are probably married to some english lass who loved to give out free and have probably had more lovers than your own Thai lass...quite ironic...but they cannot grasp it...

I just have a nice inside smile at my own smugness...

[phomsanuk]

It's the same as the old saying "There's no free lunch"

[robblok]

What difference will it make if you meet your gf, wife, in a bar in Thailand, Europe, North America, or Russia? People meet in bars, church, coffee shops, school, etc and may even bump into each other on the foot path. Its the quality of the product that matters not if it were found at Sears, Walmart or Harrods. The people who find the old master painting in a pawn shop have nothing to justify or explain, to those who received theirs thru the world famous auction houses. both have found a work of art that others, either accept, detest, or envy.

Of course it is different, if you meet a girl in a bar in Thailand and she is working there there is a higher chance of it being about money then if you meet your Thai girl in school or whatever. Sure there are always exceptions but those are few and far between.

Its harder to find good quality flea market then it is to find it at higher up place. But yes it is possible to find good quality everywhere, but your just reducing your chances by looking in the wrong spots.

[moe666]

As the saying goes pay me now or pay me later.

In New Mexico we have a saying There are no freholies.

[Thakkar]

<snip>The people who find the old master painting in a pawn shop have nothing to justify or explain, to those who received theirs thru the world famous auction houses. both have found a work of art that others, either accept, detest, or envy.

If my wife were a painting she'd be an inkblot on a psychiatrist's cue card.

[Thakkar]

I bought my wife according to her. It's sortof what sinsot is all about.

Quote ... You buy my life, I must stay with you .........

If she says it, why shouldn't someone else. What does your wife say?

A day before our marriage, the soon to be Mrs T informs me of this 'sinsot' thing.

"You have to give some money to my mother," she said matter of factly. In India, it's the guy that gets the dowry. In Hong Kong, at least before the 1970's, it was customary for the man to give his prospective mother in law a dowry. In any case, the news didn't faze me.

"I only have 25,000 baht," I said. She took 20k and said, "that'll do."

I find out years later that she had added 80k of her own money and given her mom a 100k as a token sinsot, saying it was from me.

So it appears I own only one fifth of Mrs T.

T

[jackdawson]

buy a wife

next time u c him can u find out how much he paid ?

thx

[Mosha]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

I think I can beat that. I was selling the house and showing this couple around. We were at the top of the stairs and she asked me why i was selling. So I told her I wanted to go and live in Thailand...." Before I could add to be with my wife. She interupted and said "Why are you going there? For the Paedophillia." It took all my self control not to push her down those bloody stairs.

[robblok]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

I think I can beat that. I was selling the house and showing this couple around. We were at the top of the stairs and she asked me why i was selling. So I told her I wanted to go and live in Thailand...." Before I could add to be with my wife. She interupted and said "Why are you going there? For the Paedophillia." It took all my self control not to push her down those bloody stairs.

Wow that is really rude... im not sure how i would have responded.

[Ulysses G.]

An old time bar-owner in Chiang Mai used to tell everyone how he'd gone to a village where he'd never been before. They trotted out all the single women who stood in line and he'd pointed to one and  paid cash on the barrel-head for his wife. 

They were together for years and had a lovely daughter. Eventually she left him for a younger man, but I can not say that I blamed her. 

What a load of rubish.

It's bullshit stories like this that gives Thailand a bad name!

I think your "old' time bar owner" mate has had a few too many in his time  

Sorry, but I'm pretty sure that it is true (at least the part about buying her). It was more than 20 years ago however and he was not my "mate". 

[Dakhar]

At a party, the Director of the USIS Center once asked me if I met my wife at a bar. I could have done a few nasty things to that person....

I think I can beat that. I was selling the house and showing this couple around. We were at the top of the stairs and she asked me why i was selling. So I told her I wanted to go and live in Thailand...." Before I could add to be with my wife. She interupted and said "Why are you going there? For the Paedophillia." It took all my self control not to push her down those bloody stairs.

Don't take it so hard, she was just deflecting the fact she weighed well over 4 stones her husband. Women do that....

As far as the question regarding price...

Just say, "Well, I don't like to brag, but your sister was a bargain."