Thai Girls Bitching About One Another

[Tinkelbell]

Ive mostly stopped adding my Thai observations/views on the questions that I come across on this forum....

but....

Im a bit bored today, so here is something I want to share.

there is a Thai word/concept that I cannot think of an equivalent english translation, but will attempt to outline the concept.

some that have been in Thailand a long time and understand some Thai may know what Im talking about/referring to.

Try to find a book about 'Khunasombat khong Phu dee' - The traits of a 'phu dee'

Phu dee is the word I struggle to translate into one word. In literal translation it means good person/s.

However, it does not refer to someone with a good heart and soul.

Its a total concept of presenting oneself in appropriate manner - from physical mannerisms, the way one talks, walks, eats, treat others. Things like

- always being polite, speak softly, do not shout, do not use abusive language

- proper social etiquettes - such as eating with your mouth close, dont talk while you eat, dont point at people, no feet on the table

- generl respect towards elders - including things like do not stand towering over someone older than you. if they are seated, you bend to about their level, bend wwhile walking pass someone (esp if they are older than you, or if you are about to walk in between 2 people seated across from each other and they are talking)

and etc etc

amongst those etc would also include refrain from asking embarrassing questions (personal things that go on between husband and wife, or how much someone makes would be amongst those), on looking down on others based on economic standing (what you may have and others may not would be one)

some things are logic and applies in various cultures Im sure, some are more thai specific.

but my point is - none of these are things that are only exclusive to the rich thais. however, not all Thais have grown up being taught to observe these traits.

not sure if this answers the OP or some of the debates that have taken place on the thread. my point is - its got nothing to do with wealth or hi-so. I have seen /come across apparently rich types (who one would also assume to be educated), yet have absolutely no clue on the social etiquette or what in thai we refer to as 'phu dee'

'Khunasombat khong Phu dee' .......... I would say " Characters of Class people". It's so true, I agree with all the things you had described.

Been there done that, having spending 12 yr. in boarding school of Khemasiri whose founder- owner was Prince Kasemsri.

Thanks to 'Mig16' for recommending this book. After reading, one would be able to get some perspectives about the classes of theThai people in this complicated Thai society.

Seems like someone using the word 'HiSo' loosely.

[Tinkelbell]

How educated are the ladies you talking about? The uneducated enjoy bringing the other down instead up bringing them up. this will happen to any lady or man no matter what part of the world they came from. BR

bull sh*t are you hinting that your wife is hi-so ?

not higher or better but educated and i guess raised differently. Im not saying they are perfect but better in certain areas.

BRichards, I share your sentiment, well said.

[Tinkelbell]

How educated are the ladies you talking about? The uneducated enjoy bringing the other down instead up bringing them up. this will happen to any lady or man no matter what part of the world they came from. BR

bull sh*t are you hinting that your wife is hi-so ?

not higher or better but educated and i guess raised differently. Im not saying they are perfect but better in certain areas.

[Tinkelbell]

Quoted from Chunky1 .............." But who knows, maybe all of those girls were really Chula educated neurosurgeons. It's possible, right? Right?"

.......................................................................................................

L-O-L :cheesy:

I love your answere, Chunky

[Chunky1]

I've been here for 7 year but feel free not to update your alternate reality. Ive never been ripped off, fyi.

Sorry, but your living in a dream world with all your hiso chums.

Your word, not mine.

[kopite]

You just have to spend some time in an expat bar to realise it's not just Thais and not just women who do this.

spot on. fellas are worse than women imho

[siamamerican]

Another irrational post about inferior Thais. Amazing how intelligent farangs can't fathom why poor and uneducated Thais are openly jealous of others success. Of coarse, as other poster state the obvious, all the insecure TV posters GFs suddenly have Hiso as well as former BG friends. Jealousy is the root of the issue and the lion share of the girls that TV members date came form poor families. These, mostly uneducated, girls are not as skilled at hiding nor understanding/controlling jealousy.

I would also confidently state that vast majority of posters are in relationships which were at least initially based on money. From reading numerous posts here on this site, it is amazing that the GFs can even function socially. Posts on how to control your GF or how "never" put any assets in her name. What a formula for success!!! In no way is she equal and the act of building her self esteem is threatening because, in my not so humble opinion, she might realize there are possibilities to grow as a person. Those possibilities might not include the current relationship and that seems to be unacceptable to many x-pats. Amazing how these girls measure their success by what they have materially compared to the other girls in their social circle that I'm sure includes many HISO and well educated women.

[PattayaParent]

Sounds like just another farangs bitching about Thais thread to me.

Agreed. They're just as bad as the women aren't they!!

[barryofthailand]

i live in Korat, and listen to some of these expats wives talk wile having coffee in The Mall. You are correct, they are all trying to make one another jealous. One wife went and bought a 2000 Baht pair of jeans because another expats wife was wearing the same expensive pair of jeans. One wife made a comment to me, All Farangs are Rich. She wanted to get something to eat and her husband offered up a couple hundred Baht, and she said she wanted 1000 Baht. I just laughed.

Barry

[rgs2001uk]

Another irrational post about inferior Thais. Amazing how intelligent farangs can't fathom why poor and uneducated Thais are openly jealous of others success. Of coarse, as other poster state the obvious, all the insecure TV posters GFs suddenly have Hiso as well as former BG friends. Jealousy is the root of the issue and the lion share of the girls that TV members date came form poor families. These, mostly uneducated, girls are not as skilled at hiding nor understanding/controlling jealousy.

I would also confidently state that vast majority of posters are in relationships which were at least initially based on money. From reading numerous posts here on this site, it is amazing that the GFs can even function socially. Posts on how to control your GF or how "never" put any assets in her name. What a formula for success!!! In no way is she equal and the act of building her self esteem is threatening because, in my not so humble opinion, she might realize there are possibilities to grow as a person. Those possibilities might not include the current relationship and that seems to be unacceptable to many x-pats. Amazing how these girls measure their success by what they have materially compared to the other girls in their social circle that I'm sure includes many HISO and well educated women.

Top answer, you missed another reason, resentment.

Many of these girls get to farangland and realise just how short they sold themselves and that they actually have alternatives to the slob they ended up with.

Also of course are the ones who have nothing better to do all day than gather at some house for an all day gambling session, husbands clueless on the debts being run up, the old mama san type all the girls refer to as aunt is also involved with money lending, some girls even reverting to their former profession.

I knew a guy who set fire to his wifes clothes to try and keep her indoors so she couldnt go gambling when he was at work.

Then of course there are the other girls who make a go of it in farangland, the girls who get educated, the girls who work and save their money and contribute to the family unit.

The others resent this because they dont want their husbands thinking this is normal, not Thai way, husband have to take care lady, some even have the sap believing all Thai men hand their money over to the wife.

Then there is yet another category, they dont want the husband talking to other guys with Thai wifes for fear he might wisen up.

Seen it all over the years.

[dmax]

i live in Korat, and listen to some of these expats wives talk wile having coffee in The Mall. You are correct, they are all trying to make one another jealous. One wife went and bought a 2000 Baht pair of jeans because another expats wife was wearing the same expensive pair of jeans. One wife made a comment to me, All Farangs are Rich. She wanted to get something to eat and her husband offered up a couple hundred Baht, and she said she wanted 1000 Baht. I just laughed.

Barry

You are spot on and WE have elliminated that from our lives, thank god.

happens all the time, we all know it , we have all witnessed it ,so why do all these numb skulls deny it ?

[MiG16]

having spending 12 yr. in boarding school of Khemasiri

we may have common friends then?

but lets not exchange notes HAHA I dont wanna start any girl fight based on who did or didnt get along with whose friends from school

ohhh but wait...I expect you to be "P Tinkerbell" anyway, so perhaps no common friends afterall

sorry Im so cheeky.

[Tinkelbell]

having spending 12 yr. in boarding school of Khemasiri

we may have common friends then?

but lets not exchange notes HAHA I dont wanna start any girl fight based on who did or didnt get along with whose friends from school

ohhh but wait...I expect you to be "P Tinkerbell" anyway, so perhaps no common friends afterall

sorry Im so cheeky.

Sawasdee ka Nong MIG,

Suddenly I feel connected for having an opportunity to met someone from the same Khemasririanusorn.

My hunch was right all along. Been reading many of your posts in the past few years I got the impression that....here is a very fine Thai lady. I often wonder you must be schooling in one of the top long establishedThai private schools ; Khemasriri or Rachenee.

Good luck to your future,

P' Tinky

[Travel2003]

Any woman from the bar industry will have a limited dialouge due to the fact that most of them have had no education,therefore talking about each other,or their employers or customers will be a natural thing to do,they know no other way,and their lives,especially within' the bar scene will revolve around who's said what,who's done what,who's sleeping with who etc etc.Very sad,but thats the way it is.

Conversations with girls from the non bar scene can be refreshing,numerous different topics can be covered with no real effort,of course these girls will still bitch,but not to the extent that working girls will as they have probably been educated to a higher standard.

PST.

Respectfully disagree.

First of all, I believe we all agree about the fact that level of the society/money, education, and work, has not much to do with intelligence (ability to learn).

A woman working in a bar, with limited education learn how to talk to the customers, how the customer like to be talked to.

No customer go to a bar to discuss the stock index.

Me, as a sailor, hardly talk about my work when Im on vacation.

But when Im at work, I probably talk mostly about my work.

Very limited dialouge indeed.

I have met women outside the bars whom later I was told was 'working girls".

I could not tell, due to the fact we met outside their working environment, and we talked about anything else than her work.

The bragging issue among many women here, I have experienced many a time.

This is, by the way, a very long tradition in many countries.

One of them is the way wealth is displayed when they get married (examples are India, Pakistan, China, Thailand, rest of ASEAN).