I Went To A Pool Party. True Story.

[mark45y]

I went to a pool party. 50 people there. We were all in bathing trunks. Some of the guys had on bikini bathing trunks and some speedos and some boxer bathing trunks.

It was a very friendly pool party and many of the men were playing games in the pool and frolicking around with the others at the party.

Some were even kissing and hugging. Maybe more but I didn’t notice. There were no women at the party.

After a couple of hours all of the people had paired off and were having drinks and holding hands and such.

Tell me. Based on what I have described do people who identify as gay males know enough to assume it is a gay pool party? Or is it necessary to ask two males holding hands and kissing if they identify as gay to assume they are both gay males?

Have you made up your mind?

OK, now I can tell you. The pool party was thrown by a lady boy bar. All of the Thai males there were lady boys.

Now is your answer different? If so why?

The make up washes off in the water. The major difference was hair. The most noticeable difference was men with long hair and men with short hair.

[geriatrickid]

Uhhh, does your girlfriend know you went to this party?

Were you the only one without someone to hold on to?

I'd never allow people with a ton of goop into a pool. That makeup forms a goopy oily residue that is a devil to clean off the walls and it forms an icky sheen on the water surface,

Was their food? Food is very important. I wouldn't have gone if there wasn't food.

You are lucky to have been able to enter into such a naughty event. My friends wouldn't want me to attend as they feel I would get into trouble. BTW, did you notice if anyone with boobies was in the pool? Do the implants demonstrate the same buoyancy as natural boobs?

[endure]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

[mark45y]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?

[Jingthing]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

You, and ONLY you would be in a position to make this change of self identity. Did you love the experience and now desire to do it again but still retain your love of men? (Probably Bi.) Did you love it so much that you now want to drop men for women? (Going straight.) Did you fall in love with a specific woman and intend to be monogamous with her but still retain a sexual desire for men? (Probably Bi.) Was the experience with a woman just an experiment/accident/random event and it didn't inspire you to pursue more females in future? (Probably gay.) It's up to you. Enjoy.

[endure]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?

That depends on what part of the world I'm in. Straight men holding hands happens all over the world. I have a Thai friend who frequently holds my hand when I go to visit him. Neither he, his wife and kids nor I think he's gay.

Now would I become bisexual if I had sex with a woman? If you didn't know that I was gay and you saw me having sex with the woman would I be straight?

[mark45y]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?

That depends on what part of the world I'm in. Straight men holding hands happens all over the world. I have a Thai friend who frequently holds my hand when I go to visit him. Neither he, his wife and kids nor I think he's gay.

Now would I become bisexual if I had sex with a woman? If you didn't know that I was gay and you saw me having sex with the woman would I be straight?

Maybe the third time is a charm so I’ll try again. If you go to a pool party and see two guys holding hands and kissing are they gay?

Not just holding hands, I never said that. There are no women present I said that.

Just a simple question for men who identify as gay. If you go to a pool party and see two guys holding hands and kissing would you assume they are they gay?

[mark45y]

Jingthing wrote,

"You, and ONLY you would be in a position to make this change of self identity."

Are you sure?

I self identify as an honest man. If the police caught me stealing from the 7/11 they might think I am not an honest man. They might take me to the police station and make me admit, since it is on video, that I am not an honest man.

[JohnLeech]

I have a Thai friend who frequently holds my hand when I go to visit him. Neither he, his wife and kids nor I think he's gay.

Having a wife and kids and being thought straight is not necessarily an indication of sexual preference - in a surprising number of cases its simply convenience.

[endure]

I have a Thai friend who frequently holds my hand when I go to visit him. Neither he, his wife and kids nor I think he's gay.

Having a wife and kids and being thought straight is not necessarily an indication of sexual preference - in a surprising number of cases its simply convenience.

He's straight.

[endure]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?

That depends on what part of the world I'm in. Straight men holding hands happens all over the world. I have a Thai friend who frequently holds my hand when I go to visit him. Neither he, his wife and kids nor I think he's gay.

Now would I become bisexual if I had sex with a woman? If you didn't know that I was gay and you saw me having sex with the woman would I be straight?

Maybe the third time is a charm so I’ll try again. If you go to a pool party and see two guys holding hands and kissing are they gay?

Not just holding hands, I never said that. There are no women present I said that.

Just a simple question for men who identify as gay. If you go to a pool party and see two guys holding hands and kissing would you assume they are they gay?

If I saw two guys holding hands and kissing I'd assume they were gay. If I saw two ladyboys holding hands and kissing I'm not quite sure what I'd assume as the only direct experience I have of ladyboys is with Bambina, a poster on Thaivisa. If you called her a guy she'd rip your nuts off.

I've shown you mine - now you show me yours. If I had sex with a woman would I now be bisexual? If you saw me having sex with a woman and didn't know that I'm gay would I be straight?

[LaoPo]

Is the OP considering Ladyboys as men ?

I think he is, otherwise he wouldn't write:

""There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?""

If the OP is considering Ladyboys as men, it's a weird topic.

On a side note..I didn't read whether the OP was wearing a bikini, Speedo or shorts as swimming "gear" ?

LaoPo

[Theo007]

Am trying to understand the purpose of this rather inane post!

[elshaheen]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?

That depends on what part of the world I'm in. Straight men holding hands happens all over the world. I have a Thai friend who frequently holds my hand when I go to visit him. Neither he, his wife and kids nor I think he's gay.

Now would I become bisexual if I had sex with a woman? If you didn't know that I was gay and you saw me having sex with the woman would I be straight?

Well, a pool party in Bangkok. I would say, I am pretty sure it's GAY!!

So, sit back, grab yourself a Cosmopolitan. Put on a pair of really dark sunglasses and enjoy.

[Fookhaht]

Am trying to understand the purpose of this rather inane post!

I concur. Would someone enlighten me?

Is this the challenge Jingthing threw out in another thread to open another thread discussing the alleged sexual orientation of "gay-looking" or "gay-acting" men based on pre-1970's stereotypes?

[Jingthing]

Is this the challenge Jingthing threw out in another thread to open another thread discussing the alleged sexual orientation of "gay-looking" or "gay-acting" men" based on pre-1970's stereotypes?

For the record, I never said anything of the kind. I am growing tired of these imaginary charges so it's time I defend myself. Putting stalking types on ignore apparently doesn't always shut them up (for some reason I attract them), time to respond to the blatant distortions. I did talk about how gays demanding straight acting and straight appearing are showing signs of repressed homophobia. I do think there is validity to that. Why would a minority group reject just being whatever they are? It is a sign of internal oppression. For example, it would be offensive for a black American to place a personal ad demanding that their black date be "white acting/white appearing." It harkens back to stupider times indeed.

[Fookhaht]

Is this the challenge Jingthing threw out in another thread to open another thread discussing the alleged sexual orientation of "gay-looking" or "gay-acting" men" based on pre-1970's stereotypes?

For the record, I never said anything of the kind. I am growing tired of these imaginary charges so it's time I defend myself. Putting stalking types on ignore apparently doesn't always shut them up, time to respond to the blatant distortions. I did talk about how gays demanding straight acting and straight appearing are showing signs of repressed homophobia. I do think there is validity to that. Why would a minority group reject just being whatever they are? It is a sign of internal oppression.

If you really put me on ignore, you wouldn't be able to see my post. Empty threat? And now to oppose your position in more than one thread is to stalk you? Puleeze.

No, my post was serious. A number of posters really didn't finish up the discussion in the other thread, and it appears our OP has perhaps opened a serious thread about it. You can participate reasonably, or continue to hold onto your stereotypes of what a gay man "looks like"--and remain about 40 years behind the times.

[Jingthing]

Again, not once, not ever have I stated there are stereotypes we should adhere to about what gay men act like/look like. That assertion is a 100 percent lie. If for some reason anyone misinterpreted any of my comments to mean that, let me assure you not only did I not say that, I never meant that. Now if you want to discuss such an issue, fine, but do not pin it on me as it has NOTHING to do with anything I said or believe. Is that understood now?

BTW, speaking of behind the times. I still think gay people who are obsessed with their concept of straight acting/straight appearing (whatever that is) are indeed behind the times, something like the 1950's. We should feel free to look and act however we FEEL like looking and acting.

P.S. -- opposing my position is one thing, totally reasonable. Making up blatant lies about what my position is to paint me in a way that I am not, not OK at all.

[Jingthing]

Post withdrawn.

[Jingthing]

About the pool party, there is no way anyone could establish the sexual identity of the party goers based on that description. You would have to ask them what they were. Studies have shown that the majority of transgendered men if asked will say they feel they feel heterosexual. That makes sense if inside they feel as a female and they like men sexually. Some others will say gay, bi, lesbian, doesn't matter, etc. Two ladies or two men holding hands could be anything.

[Fookhaht]

Again, not once, not ever have I stated there are stereotypes we should adhere to about what gay men act like/look like. That assertion is a 100 percent lie. If for some reason anyone misinterpreted any of my comments to mean that, let me assure you not only did I not say that, I never meant that. Now if you want to discuss such an issue, fine, but do not pin it on me as it has NOTHING to do with anything I said or believe. Is that understood now?

BTW, speaking of behind the times. I still think gay people who are obsessed with their concept of straight acting/straight appearing (whatever that is) are indeed behind the times, something like the 1950's. We should feel free to look and act however we FEEL like looking and acting.

P.S. -- opposing my position is one thing, totally reasonable. Making up blatant lies about what my position is to paint me in a way that I am not, not OK at all.

Let's throw your earlier post out to the public (again):

Just go to the nearest haircut shop with a gay looking barber.

Are we really misstating the truth when we identify the position of the above poster as having the grossly-outdated stereotypical view that one can easily identify a gay man at first glance?

The poster has attempted ingenious contortions to allege that he didn't really say nor mean that (y'all can check the above link).

I believe the jury is still out.

Incidentally, carrying over this conversation from another thread is germane to this thread because it was off-topic there, and it appears this thread is pointedly about stereotypes of gay men. Unfortunately, we still have people around who believe they can, simply by outward appearance, identify "gay" from "straight" as easily as a dandelion from a rose.

[jdinasia]

I'm a gay male. I've never had sex with a woman. I've never wanted to have sex with a woman. If I did have sex with a woman would I then be bisexual?

There were not any women at the party. Only men with long hair and men with short hair. The question was would you consider two males holding hands and kissing, gay?

You are seeing the world in Thailand through a Western cultural perspective and thus using labels that are not culturally accurate HERE. The question is .... Do I consider ladyboys to be men or not, and more importantly does Thai culture make the same distinction that I do?

It also begs the question ... why were you at that particular party? (please do not feel compelled to answer that, it is rhetorical)

[Jingthing]

I admit to the gay police, some Thai barbers DO appear stereotypically gay. If you haven't experienced that, I suppose you have vision problems. Also that comment was in the context of a very flippant quip about how to find the gay places in a backwater town (actually based on some true life experiences). How that is the same thing as suggesting that gays should all act/look in old fashioned stereotypical ways or do act that way is beyond me. I have clarified my position on this, what more do you need?

You can dig up old posts out of context till the cows come home, but only a poster with a personal vendetta would keep beating this dead horse. More reasonable people, this is where I am coming from, to repeat --

Again, not once, not ever have I stated there are stereotypes we should adhere to about what gay men act like/look like. That assertion is a 100 percent lie. If for some reason anyone misinterpreted any of my comments to mean that, let me assure you not only did I not say that, I never meant that. Now if you want to discuss such an issue, fine, but do not pin it on me as it has NOTHING to do with anything I said or believe. Is that understood now?

[Fookhaht]

I admit to the gay police, some Thai barbers DO appear stereotypically gay.

Wow, he reaffirms his position. The original "flippant quip" now takes on a "doctrine-like" nature. However, he's hedging now on his first statement by adding the word "some." Here goes the back-tracking. Hmmmmm.

So tell us, JT, just exactly what ARE those characteristics? I would love to have a cut 'n' dried list of "gay characteristics" so I can pigeon-hole any guy I come across.

Better yet, perhaps the USA Army could post them on every barracks door so they could just toss the "don't ask/don't tell" policy.

No, better yet, let's nail them to the church door, and let's have a witch-burning.

Go for it!

Everything you say after your opening statement is self-contradictory.

I find your position no different than the McCarthy-ites who hunted down the "communists" in 1950's Hollywood. It's your "mental" list (which, of course, you won't reveal) which hampers the ability of human beings to accept people for who they really are inside, rather than judging them by their "book cover."

[Jingthing]

I admit to the gay police, some Thai barbers DO appear stereotypically gay.

So tell us, JT, just exactly what are those characteristics? I would love to have a cut 'n' dried list of "gay characteristics" so I can pigeon-hole any guy I come across.

Everything you say after your opening statement is self-contradictory.

If you are so blind you can't detect a flamboyant gay hairdresser, see an eye doctor or a psychiatrist. I never said all gay hairdressers are that way, but if you don't think they exist and can't be easily detected by ANYONE, you are living in a PC prison of your own making. Enjoy. While you may be Mr. Modern Gay PC, I have news for you, an awful lot of provincial gay hairdressers AREN'T. Open your eyes and LEAVE ME ALONE.

(BTW, just to be clear, I am NOT saying all flamboyant men are gay, not saying all gay hairdressers are femme-butts, etc.)

Its fine if you want to talk about this issue, gay stereotypes, but talk about the ISSUE. All you want to do is put me on trial for some bizarre PC charges, to PERSONALIZE this. That is not cool.

[Fookhaht]

No, it's not "cool" to oppose you.

[Jingthing]

No, it's not "cool" to oppose you.

You refuse to get this, don't you? You are opposing an imaginary me. The views you ascribe to me are NOT my views. Please back off this vendetta and discuss issues as issues and leave your twisted fantasy land vision of what I believe out of it. I am just one person, anyway, even if I did believe what you accuse me falsely of believing, how is this interesting/relevant to other readers. Please the ISSUES, keep on the issues, stop with the personality thing.

[Fookhaht]

No, it's not "cool" to oppose you.

The views you ascribe to me are NOT my views.

Just quoted your posts at face-value. Your back-tracking is not convincing.

At least you've come up with the first point on your mental list to ID gays: (oh, excuse me, "some gay barbers.")

#1: Flamboyancy*

Anything else?

(tap, tap, tap...drumming finger nails....)

P.S. I believe anyone reading this thread would identify the issue as how to ID gays, especially using stereotypical characteristics, is it not? We were off-topic in the other thread, but believe we're right on the money here, are we not?

*I call that a very, VERY broad brush stroke. In fact, the Third Reich used that same brush stroke to send thousands of gays to the gas chambers along with the mentally retarded and the physically defective.

[Jingthing]

I give up. This guy is obsessed. Even if I admitted that his twisted interpretation of my views, which in truth boiled down are

EVERYONE SHOULD FEEL FREE TO LOOK AND ACT HOWEVER THEY FEEL LIKE LOOKING AND ACTING

were correct, so what? Big deal. They are not true, but so what? What does this pesterer hope to accomplish by "exposing" me based on his distorted vision? Does he want to be King of the gay forum? Fine. He can have it! With my blessings!

pes·ter (pstr)

tr.v. pes·tered, pes·ter·ing, pes·ters

To harass with petty annoyances; bother. See Synonyms at harass.

pester·er n.

[Fookhaht]

EVERYONE SHOULD FEEL FREE TO LOOK AND ACT HOWEVER THEY FEEL LIKE LOOKING AND ACTING

...without being judged by it.