Is School Yard Bullying Common In Thai Schools?

[IanForbes]

Bullies have always been common in North American schools and it's lead to some shocking results before anyone does anything about it. Some children who have been subjected to continual bullying by the so called "in crowd" mentally snap and the consequences are frightening. Some victims of bullying get a gun from somewhere and go on a shooting rampage (Columbine school for example). Other victims of bullies commit suicide (several recent cases in the news). I wonder if it is as common in Thailand as it is in western worlds.

There are ways to combat bullies, but it takes a lot of effort on the part of parents, teachers and students. I started school too early and was a slow grower. I was subjected to bullies all the time and it has had a long term affect on my life. I still hate bullies with a passion and have to control my temper whenever I see it happening today. I managed to survive, but it has scarred my personality, and it wasn't until I learned how to be assertive instead of passive-aggressive that life got easier for me. Now, it anyone starts the same old bully tactics I stop them in their tracks.

[Heng]

I've heard about it happening here, but my impression is that it's bullying-light compared to what's available stateside. That said, there's a whole range of schools here (like anywhere else), so the kind and amount of bullying going on will vary if your kid goes to a school called City/Temple School #7 or one called Mater Dei.

I both bullied and was bullied as a kid and think I came out balanced (getting to see both sides of the coin) because of it. I recently got into the whole Facebook thing a year or so ago and one of the first things I did was to look up a fellow I used to torment (just in group / out group kind of stuff and maybe a bit of pushing and shoving) to apologize for my past actions.

[Peterbigeyes]

School bullies are like the staple of primary education

[scorecard]

Of course it happens everywhere.

I've heard numerous stories of girl gangs beating up other girls who are easy to intimidate.

At my university it's clear who the in-crowd (gang) is and who's not in the in-crowd, in reality this is also a form of intimidation.

[Chunky1]

Columbine was not the result of bullying.

[Ulysses G.]

I would guess that bullying the Columbine boys when they were younger might have help turned them into the misfits that they were as teenagers. They were not well liked.

[bunta71]

When my daughter was four we moved to Chiang Mai. She is half American and half Filipina and did not speak Thai. She only spoke Engrish, some Waray, and a little Spanish having spent a few years in the states. I figured that since she was so good with languages she would do OK if I just enrolled her in what seemed like a good kindergarden school that was all Thai. Wai Daroon School. After about a month, she all of a sudden became very afraid of going to school and one day was kicking and screaming when I dropped her off. We took her home as this was bizarre behavior for her. When pressed about what was causing this she claimed that some of the other girls were knocking her down and hitting her because she wasn't Thai and could not speak Thai. Who knows?? Made me wonder about the folks where these four year old girls were building their values. Now she is very fluent in Thai language and some customs....:jap:

[way2muchcoffee]

Bullying is rampant in Thai schools IME. (I have been a teacher here for nearly a decade).

I disagree with Heng's comments that it is bullying-lite in Thailand. I do think that physical bullying is limited when compared with the west, but the psychological bullying is much more extreme. It also seems to have more damaging effects on the victim insofar as Thailand has a group/community oriented culture. When a child is ostracized from the group here the pain and consequences are far more severe than they would be in the west, where individualism is encouraged.

These are my observations. Perhaps others have observed things differently, or have come to different conclusions....

Edited August 19, 2010 by way2muchcoffee

[katana]

I've seen videos of Thai school girls fighting, posted up on Youtube. Usually it's pretty one-sided, with one of the girls not really wanting to take part. Their so-called friends just stand around filming it on their mobile phones. Sometimes the loser is made to GRAHP (prostrate themselves and WAI at the winner's feet) to add further humiliation. So yes, it does go on.

[kevozman1]

From my girlfriends stories of her school days it was not the other pupils

who bothered her or each other but the teachers who did the bullying.

[IanForbes]

Thank you for the thoughtful replies. I suspected it was as common in Thailand as elsewhere. Maybe it is just a Darwin thing and another form of separating the leaders from the followers. It certainly happens with pack and herd animals. It is just sad when I see it happening to sweet young children who have done nothing wrong and only want to be accepted by their peers. Being bullied as a child made me stronger and more independent, but I still hate seeing it happen. Better parenting and more support from authorities would help curb the problem, but too many people are very rigid in their thinking.

There seems to be two groups of people... those that are assertive and those that are passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive is where people who get pushed or bullied will back up continually until they finally snap and then react violently. Assertive people stop the bullying the moment it starts. They do it by charm or they do it with veiled threats that the bully knows instinctively is true. Some times the veiled threats have to be backed up by action, but once it happens the bullies realize that that person is not to be messed with.

[Travel2003]

Same here as rest of the world.

The teachers here (as in a few other countries) normally dont give a shit.

That is the only difference from rest of the world.

Oh yess,

I got it from a few teachers.

I also got bullied, and I still wonder what happened to the bullies later in life.

[scorecard]

Bullying is rampant in Thai schools IME. (I have been a teacher here for nearly a decade).

I disagree with Heng's comments that it is bullying-lite in Thailand. I do think that physical bullying is limited when compared with the west, but the psychological bullying is much more extreme. It also seems to have more damaging effects on the victim insofar as Thailand has a group/community oriented culture. When a child is ostracized from the group here the pain and consequences are far more severe than they would be in the west, where individualism is encouraged.

These are my observations. Perhaps others have observed things differently, or have come to different conclusions....

Certainly agree with your comments about the 'group' culture. Thais very much desire to be part of a group, and it can be very painful if not accepted by the group.

I've seen several examples of people joining my old company here then leaving a few weeks or months later. When carefully pressed for a reason, it was 'I can't find any friends here' and similar comments, meaning 'i'm not acpeted', and it clearly hurts .

[GuestHouse]

I think there's been enough examples of schoolyard murders in Thailand for anyone to resonably claim bullying is not as bad as in the west.

[chiangmaibruce]

Maybe it is just a Darwin thing and another form of separating the leaders from the followers.

Interesting topic Ian. In my experience though, bullies were not "leaders" at school ... if you define leaders as prefects, school captains, or people who excelled at anything (or many things). Bullies were just, well, bullies. In some or perhaps many cases just kids with a chip on their shoulder, issues at home, whatever. As far as I can see neither did they grow up to be leaders after leaving school, just ordinary joes. I do wonder though whether their kids follow suit and repeat the pattern.

[geriatrickid]

The bullying is Thai style. To western eyes it seems "bullying lite" but to a Thai kid, it's as painful as it is to a western kid. The exclusion of a Thai from the socialization at school is brutal and really does a number on the self esteem. Keep in mind, that up until recently, being part of the group was central to Thai social norms. It might not be as important now, but it still counts for alot.

The bullying I have seen usually involves social status. The poorer kids do get harassed, i.e. the shirt isn't new, or the shoes are old etc. It happened at my school in the west, but it just seems so much more hurtful here. It's heartbreaking when you see the stoic little people walking forlornly home after a dose of social terror. Something about a Thai kid that doesn't smile. It just isn't right.

[Heng]

Bullying is rampant in Thai schools IME. (I have been a teacher here for nearly a decade).

I disagree with Heng's comments that it is bullying-lite in Thailand. I do think that physical bullying is limited when compared with the west, but the psychological bullying is much more extreme. It also seems to have more damaging effects on the victim insofar as Thailand has a group/community oriented culture. When a child is ostracized from the group here the pain and consequences are far more severe than they would be in the west, where individualism is encouraged.

These are my observations. Perhaps others have observed things differently, or have come to different conclusions....

Yeah, as mentioned one's results may vary. For myself, for my kids, I'd much rather deal with psychological bullying than physical cuts-bruises-broken bones-or worse type bullying.

But that's just my life experience as I'm sure there are thousands of variations of each type of bullying.

[Payboy]

I heard that many at Chula are regularly bullied by Gucci handbags and Prada shoes. That must hurt.

[IanForbes]

Maybe it is just a Darwin thing and another form of separating the leaders from the followers.

Interesting topic Ian. In my experience though, bullies were not "leaders" at school ... if you define leaders as prefects, school captains, or people who excelled at anything (or many things). Bullies were just, well, bullies. In some or perhaps many cases just kids with a chip on their shoulder, issues at home, whatever. As far as I can see neither did they grow up to be leaders after leaving school, just ordinary joes. I do wonder though whether their kids follow suit and repeat the pattern.

I didn't mean the leaders in academics or sports as much as I meant the "in crowd" who are the social queens and princes. They are the ones who act like their poop doesn't smell. The "in crowd" usually ridicule the less fortunate in looks or finances, and the "wannabes" join in with the bullying. The thugish, physical bullies are usually a smaller group and easier to deal with. Just wait until one of them is alone and then clobber them with something when they aren't expecting it. I put a few of them in the hospital and after that I wasn't bothered any more. With the physical bullies there is usually a leader and once you take him (or her) down then the rest will leave you alone.

But, there is no physical way to combat the "in crowd" who ridicule the less fortunate. They usually have the teachers in their back pocket, and the one being bullied doesn't get any support. The ONLY way to combat the "in crowd" bullies is to totally ignore them like they don't even exist, and never even make eye contact. Look right through them and if you bump them when walking don't even acknowledge that it happened when you've done it. If they throw things at you then just let it bounce off with no reaction at all. You can never show fear or any emotion at all, but that is a VERY hard trick to learn. It works on adults as well. It is like being a predator and body language tells the person that you are dangerous. It works with animals as well. I've been able to bluff dangerous animals that could kill me with very little effort.

[Chunky1]

I would guess that bullying the Columbine boys when they were younger might have help turned them into the misfits that they were as teenagers. They were not well liked.

My friend forgot to wear red socks during Game 7 of the NBA Finals last year so his Celtics lost. If only he hadn't forgotten!

[Berkshire]

Kids can be pretty harsh and cruel to one another. Saw it growing up (in the states). Most of the victims of the bullying usually just deal with it. Agree that on rare occasions, some do snap.

But what I've noticed is this: the most popular, "in" kids in high school more often than not grow up to be truck drivers, assembly-line workers, construction workers, cops, firemen, or your basic blue collar type employees.

The nerds and geeks grow up to be doctors, lawyers, engineers, and leaders of industry (ala Bill Gates).

Not so bad to be a nerd and get picked on. Might even build character. I was a nerd all the way until my senior year.

As for Thailand, agree that it's much more psychological than physical here, relative to the west.

[Geekfreaklover]

I was a nerd all the way until my senior year.

How did you know the moment you stoppped being a nerd?

Just asking?

I'm still a geek in my early 30s.

[Berkshire]

I was a nerd all the way until my senior year.

How did you know the moment you stoppped being a nerd?

Just asking?

I'm still a geek in my early 30s.

You know how it is in high school. It's not who you are, but who you hang out with. My last year in high school was at a new school. I had just arrived and had a car, had money, came from the city (the school was in the sticks), and although I was pretty much the same guy, the "in" crowd at this particular school sort of took me in. It was all pretty silly, looking back on it. Still consider myself a nerd in a lot of ways...

[Chunky1]

Nerds are not the ones who get bullied the hardest. the kids who are bullied the hardest are the ones who are very poor or who have some kind of physical defect or unattractive physical feature. the nerds just stick together in packs and don't get laid. the kids who are brutalized the hardest are ignored by even the nerds.

i can remember witnessing this type of bullying in school and it never felt like there was anything you could do about it. the kids who were bullied were already so socially stunted that they barely even spoke to anyone or made eye contact with anyone AND the bullying and hatred for these kids was so wide spread that trying stand up for them would be like standing in the middle of Walking Street and shouting "You farang men should try to date an educated Thai Chinese woman", you would have been met with complete social scorn yourself.

Edited August 20, 2010 by Chunky1

[carmine]

I hate bullies and theres no doubt some kids can be exceptionally mean and cruel. Bullying in schools sadly will always exist regardless of country or culture.

[carmine]

nerds are not the ones who get bullied the hardest. the kids who are bullied the hardest are the ones who are very poor or who have some kind of physical defect or unattractive physical feature. the nerds just stick together in packs and don't get laid. the kids who are brutalized the hardest are ignored by even the nerds.

How poor you were never had anything to do with it in any school i went to, and i'm really thinking hard to try and think of a kid that was ever picked on due to a physical defect.

[Chunky1]

The bullying is Thai style. To western eyes it seems "bullying lite" but to a Thai kid, it's as painful as it is to a western kid. The exclusion of a Thai from the socialization at school is brutal and really does a number on the self esteem. Keep in mind, that up until recently, being part of the group was central to Thai social norms. It might not be as important now, but it still counts for alot.

The bullying I have seen usually involves social status. The poorer kids do get harassed, i.e. the shirt isn't new, or the shoes are old etc. It happened at my school in the west, but it just seems so much more hurtful here. It's heartbreaking when you see the stoic little people walking forlornly home after a dose of social terror. Something about a Thai kid that doesn't smile. It just isn't right.

Exactly.

I've never been inside a Thai school but would imagine that quite a few children are very poor so at least they have some numbers going for them. In the US, it can be much more brutal since less of the kids are wearing socks with multiple holes in them and shoes held together with duct tape.

[Heng]

...trying stand up for them would be like standing in the middle of Walking Street and shouting "You farang men should try to date an educated Thai Chinese woman", you would have been met with complete social scorn yourself.

Good line for that big Samsung screen.

[Heng]

Obesity (at least according to some random MSN article recently) is a leading factor in bullying. That's one thing you have some if not a lot of effect in your children's lives. IMO it's probably safe to say that athletes don't get bullied too much either.

[carmine]

Obesity (at least according to some random MSN article recently) is a leading factor in bullying. That's one thing you have some if not a lot of effect in your children's lives. IMO it's probably safe to say that athletes don't get bullied too much either.

I agree with you. The overweight kids always had a realyy tough time, but if you were good at sport generally speaking you were free of the bullying issues.