Cute Behavior At First........

[BngkkB]

When you first came to Thailand, or first met your mate, what kinds of behavior did you find cute, but after time found it to be tedious?

It could be something like when your out drinking with your Thai friends and end up clinking glasses every 5 minutes. Fun at first but all night long?????

Mine is:

When I first met my wife and we would go shopping, clothes, food, just about anything, I thought it was pretty cute how she went over each item so thouroughly. Any piece of clothing each stitch would be double checked. Only one out of 25 fish would make it into our basket. I admired her taking the time to make sure our money was being spent wisely. Of course it is smart and savy to double check your purchase to make sure a "Second" hasn't slipped by a grader at a factory and onto the clothes rack. It makes perfect sense to want the freshest food for your family................But, when picking out a mass produced item there should be a time limit? Today while walking by a vendor selling small sets of desktop "Hello Kitty" drawers I suggested we get one for our daughter? After Thirty minutes comparing Two of them she finally decided. I'm retired and I don't have that kind of time to spend on a small purchase.

What is yours?

[dumball]

Should you not have discussed this rather wierd behavior with your wife a long time ago ? It looks like she has taken being fussy/carefull to the absolute extreme end of the scale , or does she just have a tendency toward being a somewhat slow thinker ? How many customers does she hold up in all of this needless fussing that must surely send them on to another stall because they do not have that sort of time to waste , even you find this behaviour to be something of an inconvenience .

[cardholder]

Thais are great perusers.

I would have thought being retired you would have all the time in the world to go shopping.

Plan B (to save time) don't go shopping with your wife or, go every other time.

That should work.

As for clinking glasses, the best solution I can come up with is plastic beakers. But don't, for Chrost's sake, send your wife out to buy them.

[BngkkB]

Actually just the opposite, she is very intelligent. But what I have noticed while watching her is that other Ladies will watch her for bit then ask for he opinion on which item they should purchase? As she is deciding on the purchase for herself she is not holding up anyone else from making their purchases?????? The store owners don't mind as it seems that people will walk past an empty store but stop and look in one with customers. As this is the worse thing about her, I find it a very small price to pay have a lovely careing wife. Besides I am sure that there are things that I do that annoy her.

But the question was "How has your opinion changed toward things since your arrival in Thailand?"

[BngkkB]

I like your thinking Cardholder. Thanks,

[DangerousDavies]

I like to compare items when shopping, count the olives in a jar etc while my g/f will just grab the first one off the top.

The other day she picked up a pack of cheese slices, 10 for 104 B and was surprised when I returned it and took 2 packs of 5 for 48B each.

Wandered off mumbling that it was no wonder "we" were all rich....

Edited August 25, 2010 by DangerousDavies

[CHdiver]

I think you must be very proud that she married you, the dating process must have been interessting thought

[tartempion]

Ah funny, yesterday we were shopping and stopped at the fruit section when we saw pre-packed grapes.

She carefully examined 7 different packs, re-evaluating some she already evaluated, not deciding.

So I picked 1 pack and put it in our cart. Which she then took out to replace by an other pack

What's really strange and not so cute was during dinner:

She prepared a shrimp salad. I saw shrimp, onions, tomatoes, small red peppers,all swimming in some juice.

Thus I asked "Is that juice sour?"

Reply: "You can't ask if the juice is sour, You can say aroi or not aroi, that's it"

That baffled me. Later I said "aroi" but it ruined our dinner, she talked more around that salad argumentative about ingredients.

Later that night she told me "It's Buddha day to day, we are often bitchy on Buddha day"

Ever heard that one?

[canuckamuck]

I am fairly impatient when it comes to shopping, I like to get done as quick as I can. So I empathize with what for me would be an extremely frustrating situation. My wife is pretty good, when she shops for something the requires more thought, she doesn't mind that I disappear and meet her later somewhere.

[sarahsbloke]

Later that night she told me "It's Buddha day to day, we are often bitchy on Buddha day"

Ever heard that one?

Nope, but my wife dresses in white and prays all day (8am - 5pm) every Buddha day, not allowed to touch her and she won't use the phone.

I did think that was irritating BUT realised I have a complete day to go out and do anything I like without any questions or complaints.

I rather enjoy Buddha days now!

[SweatySock]

When doing the monthly shopping at one of the large supermarkets, my wife, son and I generally walk round the store together until we get to the fruit and veg section.

At this point, son and I disappear round the store, looking at all sorts of bits and pieces safe in the knowledge that upon our return some 25 - 30 minutes later, the wife will still be comparing vegetables prior to purchase.

It's the same at the local market,fruit and veg must be inspected at least 50 times before deciding which item to buy.

Used to send me crazy but now it's free-time for me. And my son of course.

[bonobo]

I can see how that would drive you crazy, but I had the opposite problem.  My ex (not a Thai), would push the shopping cart down the aisle and pull the first thing she saw that she needed and throw it into the cart.  If we needed needed pasta, the very first package she saw, not checking if it was durum wheat, the price, the amount of pasta, whatever.  If we needed hamburger, the first pack she saw, not checking the percentage of fat, the amount in the package, when it was ground, etc.  Drove me crazy.  

[Loz]

Ah funny, yesterday we were shopping and stopped at the fruit section when we saw pre-packed grapes.

She carefully examined 7 different packs, re-evaluating some she already evaluated, not deciding.

So I picked 1 pack and put it in our cart. Which she then took out to replace by an other pack

What's really strange and not so cute was during dinner:

She prepared a shrimp salad. I saw shrimp, onions, tomatoes, small red peppers,all swimming in some juice.

Thus I asked "Is that juice sour?"

Reply: "You can't ask if the juice is sour, You can say aroi or not aroi, that's it"

That baffled me. Later I said "aroi" but it ruined our dinner, she talked more around that salad argumentative about ingredients.

Later that night she told me "It's Buddha day to day, we are often bitchy on Buddha day"

Ever heard that one?

I think your partner has a mild case of OCD which you are probably right to just ignore as you are happy.

As for what was once cute until I had been here a while:

Attentive shop assistants are now just annoying because while coming and standing near me shows they have noticed a customer. not saying anything constructive, and not have the skills to know when someone wants company and when someone doesn't, is just annoying.

Showing an interest. when I was first here and people were inquisitive I thought, "how friendly" now I see the patterns of their questions and what they are trying to illicit and I just find it impertinent. "do you have thai lady?" "why you come to thailand?" "you rent or buy your house?" "you drive car or motorcy?"

The duck and cover: you are walking and someone walks across your path seemingly without having seen you. Then they stop in your path and duck and offer an "excuse me" . Much easier to excuse you if you get out the <deleted> way before wai and apology. NB: When you are walking and about to obstruct someones path, why does the thai always opt to walk accross you rather around you? This seems so odd there must be some cultural precident for it cos otherwise they could be mistaken for being profoundly retarded)

I could go on, but...

[jfk]

hi,

when i first came here i used to laugh at my wife when she shopped. she was always trying to get discount. i would just say pay the dam_n money its only 30 baht.

now having lived here 7 years if we ask the price of something and its 5 baht over some where else I (not her) will say lets go to the other shop.

even when we eat rice with basil is 25 baht in town but only 20 baht in my village. i then find myself saying to the wife Ohhh, its very expensive to eat here.

to say she has rubbed off on me is an understatement.

when i get home and think about it i laugh to myself and so does she.

[BRichards]

What i have noticed a lot is that these behaviors like looking over and making sure things are in good shape or looking over the receit to see if it adds up are learned from their mother who has learned from her mother. BR

[Loz]

With all my western superiority I used to scoff at that bill checking nonesense until one day I took two farang friends to dinner at a place that under privious managment had been exceptionally good to me. (told me to order from thai menu and then showed me price differences in the farang one!)

On this visit we had eaten modestly but the bill came to 1000bht, it was my treat I was shocked but just paid it. the other couple shook their heads and questioned how it could be so high. On returning with my change I checked it and we had been given the bil for another table! Ours was half that price. Since then I have not scoffed at the bill checking but still seldom do it myself and have never since found a problem except where I have been undercharged in shops. Quite bad that i only gave credence to the practice when it was white folks doing it. But I never claimed to be perfect.

[bendejo]

The rule of commerce in this part of the world is "you bought it, it's yours" and seeking recompense after the deal is closed will, in most cases, result in you making a fool of yourself.

The likes of consumer protection begins, and ends, at home.

Taking a "it only cost 50 baht" sort of attitude will show people you don't care about your money, and will influence the way they deal with you.

[mca]

I learned the hard way about fruit and veg purchasing with my MIL. My wife was busy and asked if I'd take her to the market. No probs. I must have sat there next to my car waiting for a good 45 minutes only for granny to wander back with a single bunch of bananas and 2 watermelons.

In the unlikely event there's a next time I'll take a copy of "War and Peace".

[sonicdragon]

To the OP: My wife is the same. I don't shop with her at all if I can avoid it these days. It was nice in the beginning since it saved money, and it's still nice today for the same reason, but I just can't be involved with it any more.

We spent a lot of time in Hong Kong. There are only two supermarket chains there. She knew which items could be bought cheaper at the "wet markets" which was most of the fruit, veg and meat. For the rest, she would know exactly how much the price of each thing we needed to buy was at each of these supermarket chains, and went to both on the same day to get the cheapest overall price. On occasion, when the price of a certain thing had changed in one place, she would not buy it until she had checked the price in the other place ! If she ever found that the price in one was cheaper than in the other, but she had unknowingly paid the higher price, she would be quite angry about it for the rest of the day. When we decorated our house in Thailand last year she spent days on end driving round all different stores to find where to get a certain thing at the cheapest price. We came to Thailand for a month during the summer with the intention of buying all the materials and having the work done during that month. After a month she still hadn't even ordered all the paint and tiles, let alone new bathroom fittings It still wasn't finished at Christmas ! In fact we just had last of the curtains fitted last week - almost 13 months to the day after it started. And it's not a particularly big house.

[Tonto21]

A few thing, first, food, or more to the point eating out, mainly when food is the last thing on the gender for a given trip out. At first it seemed cute that regardless of the fact we'd just eaten before leaving the house she would on arrival at the market, park, shopping mall, bus station, lake, beach, well, you get the picture, she would tell me she needs to eat! Now, even dragging my heals should only take 15 minutes, tops for a bowl of rice, my other half will take at least one, one and a half hours, she's not extravagant the whole bill will come to no more than 80bht. I used to get a bit pissed off with it, but, I realized it's her thing; she would disappear into a world of fish heads and soup for a time, now I make allowances for this "detour" to any trips we take, I now go prepared I take a book or go walkabout and keep my phone on and await orders from Tac HQ!

The other thing that's mildly irritating and bewildering humorous at times is that on the occasions where my Thai's not going to cut it, (something technical) the car at the garage type situation. True story; had a problem with the battery being flat on my pick-up if left standing for more than two day, it's not the battery, (I know) something is draining the life out of it! So I explained to the Misses, (she may not be a rocket scientist, but she's not stupid) before leaving home with, flow charts, diagrams, salt and pepper pots and chalk board. She then explains back to me the problem, (not the battery)

So, we eat first, and then off to the garage we go, we get to the garage, bless! She hungry!!! There goes another hour fifteen minutes. Now we see a mechanic, the wife start to explain the problem in Thai……A full five minutes and still talking, I hear the words, "Hello Kitty" and "Bar Beer" in there and lot of Thai things, total unrelated to the subject, after what had to be ten full minutes later, my wife turns to me and says; He say, he can fit new battery!!!!!!!!

One last thing, my wife trusts me, as I trust her, on many occasions she will ask my opinion on a given subject, and we disuse issues that affect us both. But there is always one thing she does that really grate my cheese! She sometimes asks me question I actually know the answer to, (it happens) and I'll tell her, Now if the guy we hire to do some odd jobs around the house is about, (he's a nice bloke, but a complete piss head, has two brain cell, and one gets used to keep his eyes open!) she will go and ask him the same question, (that takes at least an hour) if he says something different to me, and he will…….Well, he's Thai….Sure he's going to know more than me about…………..Say, what goes into a shepherd's pie or the weather Patton's of north west Europe.

OK, my wife I think is the normal not the exception and all the above is standard operating procedure, (SOP) for most Thai's, but doesn't stop it feeling like a personal attack on my sanity by the one that loves me. Me? I’m prefect.

Edited August 26, 2010 by Tonto21

[elliss]

Plan B (to save time) don't go shopping with your wife or, go every other time.

That should work.

i do as much shopping as possible , solo .

especially , when i am buying clothes for myself ,

cos , the darling allways want something , shoes addict

p.s. what i really dont like ,

is when she orders more food ,

than she can ever eat.

apart from that ,, ok.

[Peterbigeyes]

erm.... Her voice?

[Jimi007]

Later that night she told me "It's Buddha day to day, we are often bitchy on Buddha day"

Ever heard that one?

Nope, but my wife dresses in white and prays all day (8am - 5pm) every Buddha day, not allowed to touch her and she won't use the phone.

I did think that was irritating BUT realised I have a complete day to go out and do anything I like without any questions or complaints.

I rather enjoy Buddha days now!

Interesting, all day every Buddha day? My better half goes to the Wat all in white in the mornings on every Buddha day and then chants and does her thing at home to our Buddha at home in the afternoon, but only the bigger Buddha days we cannot be intimate. I had a slightly snippy tone yesterday (Buddha Day) and I was told that wasn't good...

As far as shopping goes, unless it's a big shopping trip, I usually just go online and transfer some money to her account and send her off to the ATM and the local markets with a small list of things I need. On the big shopping trips I get most things we need for the household, then go off on my own and we call when we're done. We get along very well still going on two years. But it did take me several years to find someone who puts up with me and it has changed my attitude towards most things and people here and the USA where I was born. I still get a bit annoyed at some things Thai, but I get annoyed at some things farang as well. We get comments from people I have known here for years, that we are very happy together and they wish they were. Quite a change from 6 years ago when I first came here...

[yabaaaa]

My wife walks like a snail, I spend forever looking behind me but I find the occasional beating helps............she enjoys doing this to me!!

[canuckamuck]

Tonto21, I think you married my wife's sister.

[GarryP]

Always ordering too many different dishes when eating out. She knew we could never eat everything but still used to do this everytime. We haven't eaten out together in many years now, though that isn't the reason.

She even cooks too much and I used to complain (in a lighthearted way) that she was overdoing. Now that she is unable to eat with my son and I, I don't say anything (apart from complimenting her) as I know that at least she really enjoys cooking.

Edited August 26, 2010 by GarryP

[Thakkar]

After we married, Mrs T and I lived in HK for well over a decade. When she first arrived, the prices in HK shocked the hel_l out of her. In shops she'd look through stuff repeatedly mumbling to herself (but loud enough for the hopeful shop assistants to hear) "pheng" (expensive in Thai).

The same word in Cantonese pronounced virtually the same means "worth the price/not at all expensive"

Mrs T would pronounce everything in the shop "pheng" and walk out empty handed. The hitherto gleeful shop assistants would be really confused. Some gave nasty looks because they thought she was taking the mickey!

[Beetlejuice]

If she has the appearance of the girl in sample 1 shown below, then I would find her peculiar little mannerisms, cute and adorable.

If she more resembles the girl in sample photo 2, I would be seeking the advice of a good divorce lawyer on the grounds of mental cruelty.

Edited August 26, 2010 by Beetlejuice

[Tonto21]

Tonto21, I think you married my wife's sister.

Hi canuckamuck, If she's related to your wife…..No worries, but after reading so many stories on TV I just hope she's not related to the hired help, as in Husband and wife! He he.

Edited August 26, 2010 by Tonto21

[Thakkar]

If she has the appearance of the girl in sample 1 shown below, then I would find her peculiar little mannerisms, cute and adorable.

If she more resembles the girl in sample photo 2, I would be seeking the advice of a good divorce lawyer on the grounds of mental cruelty.

Re: Photo 2

In a pinch, I wouldn't mind sitting on THAT santa's lap.