Marrying A Thai Woman

[ankwa]

F1 Fanatic , is a thai visa forum really the place you should be grieving over your husband , i take it he passed away and im sorry to hear that , maybe it would be better for you to try and put this all behind you and move forward with your life , rather than upsetting yourself with pointless arguments on this forum regarding thai women etc. At the end of the day people are going to do as they wish regardless of how many negative posts they read , and if they get thier fingers burned they will have no one to blame but thier self , so i suggest you go make yourself a cuppa , sit down and relax and watch the belgian grand prix , because you cant change whats happened.

[F1fanatic]

and yuo gett annoyed by what people write on an anonomous forum.......................you need help.........no wonder yr hubby went for a thai girl, they so sweet and kind , they just want a man to love:lol: :lol: , never mind he belongs to another:lol:

Yup, quite right. So I repeat my relevant post :

"My ex-hubby INSISTED that his new g'f didn't come from a bar, until I pointed out that (at the time) he'd told me the masseuse he brought to our house, and he moved in with, used to work in a bar......

Amazingly, I found out that my ex-hubby was still telling everyone in England that his g'f was not a bar girl .....

He wasn't stupid enough to think anyone at home would have any time for a woman he'd met in a bar. But, no problem - just deny it..."

I made an even more relevant point earlier, but can't be bothered to look for it.

Again, I have to agree, Thai women are so sweet and kind...... One of us has no idea of reality, pissed as I am, its not me!

[nikkoid66]

and yuo gett annoyed by what people write on an anonomous forum.......................you need help.........no wonder yr hubby went for a thai girl, they so sweet and kind , they just want a man to love:lol: :lol: , never mind he belongs to another:lol:

Yup, quite right. So I repeat my relevant post :

"My ex-hubby INSISTED that his new g'f didn't come from a bar, until I pointed out that (at the time) he'd told me the masseuse he brought to our house, and he moved in with, used to work in a bar......

Amazingly, I found out that my ex-hubby was still telling everyone in England that his g'f was not a bar girl .....

He wasn't stupid enough to think anyone at home would have any time for a woman he'd met in a bar. But, no problem - just deny it..."

I made an even more relevant point earlier, but can't be bothered to look for it.

Again, I have to agree, Thai women are so sweet and kind...... One of us has no idea of reality, pissed as I am, its not me!

Thai women would not go with old men, they are not different from any woman in the world. They like handsome men of their age.

But desperate and bar girls will do it for money.

Guess why your ex-husband was trusting you more? Maybe because his young girlfriend was not the angel he pretended she was...

Again, no Thai girlfriend would stay with an old man unless money is involved... period.

So your argument is not valid for the majority of Thai girls, who are be nature trustful with their lover, like any woman in love. If his gf was 10+- of his age and was educated he would certainly have given power of attorney to her.

Actually I know a similar story, I told in another thread that I know a nurse that took care of an old man until he died, she did the cremation and sold his apartment and sent everything in Germany. She was paid as a nurse period. But the man gave her all power to settle with his money over his family in Germany. Apparently he trusted her more than anyone else...

Edited August 29, 2010 by nikkoid66

[raven0099]

Chinese , koreans or japanese women are the same as thai , these countries also have thier unsavoury areas and an entertainment industry with young women catering for men , what do you think all those rich chinese and japanese men do ? , some but not all , same as men who go to Thailand some are old some are young , its not the case that every man goes there with the intention of going with as many bgs as he can but some do , some go there to fufill thier sexual fanatsy whatever that may be , some guys maybe go looking for love and a long term partner , there are so many different types of people in the world that you cant possibly generalise people all the same way or ilk, Older women go to countries like Turkey to find a young man to have fun with or for love ., its up to them , if thats what they want to do fair play to them , Thailand is not the only country where you can openly see girls who are willing to have sex for money , look at Amsterdam , Denmark , France , Many South American countries , Las vegas ! One friend even told me that his hotel in Las Vegas had a number in the information booklet , for dial a hooker !

Thailand however is more publisised due to its popularity , people go there because they enjoy it ! Whatever they choose to do while they are there !

[tropo]

Now for Europeans, it is different. Thailand's reputation is very sticky and if you are with a young Thai girl everyone will think you are a pedophile, even if she is 18+, just because she looks really young... if you are with a very sexy girl, they will assume silently that you pay her for being with you... it is very hard to change the people mentality in the west. People assume that you should be with someone with your age and that looks the same as you. Pretty girls are with handsome men and young girls with young men in Europe.

Why would you need to change "the people mentality in the west" considering that most of the time what they think is true. Old men don't have sexy young girls 30 years younger unless there is a big financial commitment involved.

Are you in denial? Transplant any young sexy girl in Thailand to a Western country and see who she chooses for a partner. I'll bet it won't be a senior citizen.

same thing goes double time for filipinias. ever look at one of their date sites? most looking for men over 50 and the girls are mostly 18-21. At least in Thailand a much larger percentage of girls that age are attending University

You comment is giving the wrong impression of Filipinos.

In raw numbers it may be double, but not in percentage numbers. The Philippines has a much bigger population, has twice the birth rate, the average age is 10 years younger and the country is much poorer. Thais are more into the money aspect of foreign marriage than Filipina.

Edited August 29, 2010 by tropo

[bonobo]

Posts have been deleted for slamming Thais and for making derogatory personal posts. Post on comments, not on the poster.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Sorry if I upset you Raven

It's just that white guys assume it's socially OK to go into a bar in Thailand with prostitutes working there and it isn't. You wouldn't really do that in your own country and respectable Thai men don't casually do it here.

As was explained to me by a previous gf

If anyone sees you in a bar where there are prostitutes, they will assume you use them.

Part of the problems with people assuming we (white guys) are married to bar girls is because we are always hanging out in bars with prostitutes. Our bad reputation leads to assumptions about the girls we are with.

Please don't give me that "I just wanted a drink" line, almost every Thai general store I pass has a table outside and provides beer and glasses. Your gf will know which bars are OK, you don't have to even think about it.

You don't have to go into that sort of bar ..... ever. I won't go into a bar that operates "bar fines"

Hm.. still, I would have an easier time explaining that I was hanging out with some friends in a bar in the Farang/tourist area of town, as opposed to getting liquored up at the local mom & pop grocery store. And you speak of face?

And as for obtaining approval, again I get a bigger grilling when going out with office girls to some of the popular pubs. Bigger threat I suppose, I don't know. (And don't really care, as I don't really like those yuppie pubs anyway)

[IanForbes]

Actually I know a similar story, I told in another thread that I know a nurse that took care of an old man until he died, she did the cremation and sold his apartment and sent everything in Germany. She was paid as a nurse period. But the man gave her all power to settle with his money over his family in Germany. Apparently he trusted her more than anyone else...

Good story, nikkoid66. I know a few Thai women that would do exactly the same thing. I also know a whole lot of Thai women that would take off with all the funs. Any man in his right mind should have the abliity to make a sensible decision for himself and his family. There are such things as legal wills and financial settlements that can be made BEFORE one dies. I've probably got no more than another 15 years to live... if I'm lucky. My children will get my estate, but if I were to choose to live my final days in Thailand (I'm Canadian) with a Thai woman looking after me then I would set up some endowment that she would be taken care of after I pass away. But, that is off the original topic.

Only paranoid people lacking confidence worry about what others think. Who really cares what some stranger thinks if you take your Thai wife into a hooker bar? The Thai wife will know better than anyone and will refuse to be with you if you do... unless she previously worked in those bars. And, there is something wrong with a marriage if a Thai wife stays home while the husband goes off to the bars on a regular basis. Why would anyone care what some self righteous, bigotted person thinks of prostitution? Should I care what a fanatical Islamic terrorist thinks? It is the same thing.

[sarahsbloke]

Thai women would not go with old men, they are not different from any woman in the world. They like handsome men of their age.

But desperate and bar girls will do it for money.

I really don't believe this to be true. A young Thai lady might like to have a young attractive RICH Thai man as a first choice, but second choice is a young attractive RICH white man, followed third by a RICH old white man. Poor men of any sort come quite lowon the list, but may be preferred as a lover on the side.

As a wild generalisation younger Thai girls seem to prefer Thais, older single/divorced Thai women (30+) prefer white men.

I'm pretty sure the older Thai women know that Thai men mainly only want young Thai women.

Asian ladies don't put such a premium on youth in men as do western ladies.

Lets face the truth Nikk, neither of us are first choice with a young Thai lady.

Change your statement to "YOUNG Thai women would not go with FOREIGNERS unless desperate" and I will agree with you.

Edited August 30, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[nikkoid66]

. And especially so because most Thai women look much younger than they are. Add to that the self righteous, bigoted majority in North America and Europe and you have your answer.

You forget to mention that lot of our friends and relative home are jealous of us. If we are with a woman that is 10 years younger than you, and looks like a stunner in her 20's, you have all the women upset, and the men jealous. They will suppose lot of crazy things to justify their own couple and feel better than you...like "maybe I am fat, but I will not bring aids at home." or "I'm lucky to have a wife that looks old and fat, at least I don't have to pay her haha".

In reality women think "it's been 10 years I can't wear such short dresses, tomorrow I exercise to loose this weight" and men "give me the the phone number of her sister! Don't tell anything to my wife!"

[Loz]

Eddie Murphy schooled us on this decades ago!

finding the perfect wife? click here[/url]

Edited August 30, 2010 by Loz

[tropo]

. And especially so because most Thai women look much younger than they are. Add to that the self righteous, bigoted majority in North America and Europe and you have your answer.

You forget to mention that lot of our friends and relative home are jealous of us. If we are with a woman that is 10 years younger than you, and looks like a stunner in her 20's, you have all the women upset, and the men jealous. They will suppose lot of crazy things to justify their own couple and feel better than you...like "maybe I am fat, but I will not bring aids at home." or "I'm lucky to have a wife that looks old and fat, at least I don't have to pay her haha".

In reality women think "it's been 10 years I can't wear such short dresses, tomorrow I exercise to loose this weight" and men "give me the the phone number of her sister! Don't tell anything to my wife!"

In my case it's more than a 10 year difference. Almost 3 times that in fact, so I don't believe I have bragging rights when I return home. The only way to go is to ignore what other people may say or think. You can stick to your story that they're jealous if you like, but in reality most can come over here and grab a young girl if they desire. It's not like you have to do anything special over here to find a young "girlfriend".

[NamKAheng]

Because culture is like peanut butter, the less you have, the more you have to spread it!

[nellyp]

I'm coming back to thailand soon (issan) i have spent the last 6/7 years in britain with my wife who at 30 looks about 22. i am 46 so you can imagine the difference in looks. I have never had a problem in Britain as my wife is genuine and all my freinds love her to bits not only because she is my wife but also because they have become close to her. Now i come back with the wife and sons in tow. I will now have to live with the neighbours not understanding where or how we met, but assuming she is a bar girl, and with me for the money (this has happened since we first met.....platonic friends) but n fact she really does have all her qualifications from college but only went half way through uni (still paying for loan) and is completely happy with me and our life. I just wish that we could all ignore appearances and our pregidaces and let everybody get on with it. i have met a lot of bar girls as i have travelled quite a bit (not just in Asia) and all they are , are women with a job. most would like an easier life with a rich man, but would also like to win the lottery. Life is like that, we all want to win the lottery in some way shape or form. I won the lottery years ago.....I met my wife. I have won it twice since, and have two sons. lets leave the farangs with Thai wives and the thais with farange husbands alone. Are they any worse than Hugh Grant and Elizabeth hurley or Clint Eastwood and what's her face.....I think not.

Monologue over

[sarahsbloke]

Are they any worse than Hugh Grant and Elizabeth hurley or Clint Eastwood and what's her face.....I think not.

Monologue over

I think you mean Hugh Grant and Divine (bj) Brown

[tropo]

I'm coming back to thailand soon (issan) i have spent the last 6/7 years in britain with my wife who at 30 looks about 22. i am 46 so you can imagine the difference in looks. I have never had a problem in Britain as my wife is genuine and all my freinds love her to bits not only because she is my wife but also because they have become close to her. Now i come back with the wife and sons in tow. I will now have to live with the neighbours not understanding where or how we met, but assuming she is a bar girl, and with me for the money (this has happened since we first met.....platonic friends) but n fact she really does have all her qualifications from college but only went half way through uni (still paying for loan) and is completely happy with me and our life. I just wish that we could all ignore appearances and our pregidaces and let everybody get on with it. i have met a lot of bar girls as i have travelled quite a bit (not just in Asia) and all they are , are women with a job. most would like an easier life with a rich man, but would also like to win the lottery. Life is like that, we all want to win the lottery in some way shape or form. I won the lottery years ago.....I met my wife. I have won it twice since, and have two sons. lets leave the farangs with Thai wives and the thais with farange husbands alone. Are they any worse than Hugh Grant and Elizabeth hurley or Clint Eastwood and what's her face.....I think not.

Monologue over

So you were 40 years old when you met your wife who was 24 at the time. Where did you meet her? At the university?

Is a university student trying to find a Farang sugardaddy and ticket out any better than a bargirl? You're entitled to your opinion, but to me they're not much different except that the university student maybe more skilled at fishing. At least the ex-farmgirl -bargirl has a better excuse for doing it. She really needs the money whereas your university educated wife was not hardup relatively speaking.

[Hummwan]

First Thai GF was a boxer. If you called her a bar girl she would hit you in the face. Then she would kick you. Once you went down she took off one shoe and beat you with the shoe.

Rarely did people call her a bar girl twice.

If she was ever a bar girl I did not know. I never ask her.

[TaoNow]

I agree with Tropo's point: it is the perceived age difference between a farang guy and his Thai lady that largely determines if others will think she has been bought or not.

I would also like to amend the post by Sarahsbloke about a young Thai woman's priority in choosing a mate: Her first choice will be someone in her own socio-economic group. She wants someone who speaks the same language/dialect, who likes the same leisure activities, someone who has a number of friends in common with her, and seems to be faithful and can hold a job. He need not be richer.

If that relationship doesn't work out, then she will probably try again for someone in her socio-eocnomic group, but perhaps have to settle for someone a bit older/divorced since she is no longer a virgin.

Failing that 2nd try, then I would agree with Sarahsbloke's hierarchy of preferred options.

Note that hooking up with an older (wealthier) farang guy is just about her last option.

[BRichards]

40 with a 24 yr old will work for awhile. BR

[nikkoid66]

I just realized that no one is speaking about love, true love.

True love strikes at all age, and is rare enough to put very different people (physically) together.

A young woman in her 30's have already got 10 or more boyfriends, all gone with another girl for different reason. If she finds a nice farang older than her for 10-20 years, very sweet and warm, who cares about her and her kid, who bring her an happy smile on her face everyday, bring some security and another income in the house, why she would not fall in love with him and be a perfect wife?

I think life is not worth living without love. In Thailand where you must work very hard to get a decent life, love is even harder to find. When you catch it, you won't let it go and the age will not be an obstacle.

[gregb]

I agree with Tropo's point: it is the perceived age difference between a farang guy and his Thai lady that largely determines if others will think she has been bought or not.

I don't think this is true. My wife and I are about the same age. But there are subtle queues you pick up on when you bring her into your office where you can tell people think she was a bar girl. She was not. I met her at a university in Bangkok. She only talked to me because a fortune teller told her she would meet her husband within a week. She didn't even speak English at the time, and was not looking for a farang husband. Until a week earlier the idea had never crossed her mind, but luckily for me she believes in destiny and I was just in the right place at the right time.

However, there is no way to shake the stigma, and it isn't only age that causes it. If your wife looks like she's from Issan, they assume she's a bar girl, age not withstanding. Obviously if she's a little bit slutty, they assume she's a bar girl. About the only way around the bar girl association is to marry a wealthy, Bangkok bred Thai who has many wealthy friends. The association with them then works to overcome the bar girl stigma. But farangs who don't know how to pick up on the subtle queues of class in Thai society will still assume she is a bar girl. You can't win.

I've talked with my wife about it. She says she knows, but she loves me and you just have to be strong and ignore it. People will think what they want to think and they may never believe you even if you tell the truth, so why even try?

Personally, about the only people I really care about believing my story are the officials at the US embassy. We've been married for 7 years, but we have yet to actually try applying for a tourist visa to visit the states. I just hope when we do that they are able to ignore the bar girl prejudice and see the reality. For everyone else, if my wife doesn't care, why should I?

Everyone else can think whatever they want. I know the truth, and that's enough for me.

[mca]

Of course the saddest part is the " stigma " of age difference wouldn't be applied to locals. There are plenty of Thais with large age differences between the husband and wife ( my sister in law is nearly 14 years younger than her husband) where it wouldn't even enter anybody's head that they met in a bar.

[raven0099]

Im 30 my girlfriends 25 , five year difference, she has been married and is now divorced cause her husband was an arse , if people think shes a bar girl then i cant change that , i love the girl, i believe her past , i trust her , so i dont really care what anyone thinks , im just going to take my time and see how things go ,

[tropo]

I agree with Tropo's point: it is the perceived age difference between a farang guy and his Thai lady that largely determines if others will think she has been bought or not.

I don't think this is true. My wife and I are about the same age. But there are subtle queues you pick up on when you bring her into your office where you can tell people think she was a bar girl. She was not. I met her at a university in Bangkok. She only talked to me because a fortune teller told her she would meet her husband within a week. She didn't even speak English at the time, and was not looking for a farang husband. Until a week earlier the idea had never crossed her mind, but luckily for me she believes in destiny and I was just in the right place at the right time.

However, there is no way to shake the stigma, and it isn't only age that causes it. If your wife looks like she's from Issan, they assume she's a bar girl, age not withstanding. Obviously if she's a little bit slutty, they assume she's a bar girl. About the only way around the bar girl association is to marry a wealthy, Bangkok bred Thai who has many wealthy friends. The association with them then works to overcome the bar girl stigma. But farangs who don't know how to pick up on the subtle queues of class in Thai society will still assume she is a bar girl. You can't win.

I've talked with my wife about it. She says she knows, but she loves me and you just have to be strong and ignore it. People will think what they want to think and they may never believe you even if you tell the truth, so why even try?

Personally, about the only people I really care about believing my story are the officials at the US embassy. We've been married for 7 years, but we have yet to actually try applying for a tourist visa to visit the states. I just hope when we do that they are able to ignore the bar girl prejudice and see the reality. For everyone else, if my wife doesn't care, why should I?

Everyone else can think whatever they want. I know the truth, and that's enough for me.

Your post comes across as yet another Farang who wants to brag that his girl is better than the rest. You're obviously proud that your girl is educated and not from Isaan and has never worked in the bar. If you step back and look at it objectively you're coming across as a snob. You and your educated girl make a good couple.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

But farangs who don't know how to pick up on the subtle queues of class in Thai society will still assume she is a bar girl. You can't win.

It's not that subtle. They know soon enough when she speaks good English and can talk about grown-up topics. And for the ones you just meet in passing: those honestly don't matter. Who cares what Joe Blo Tourist thinks?

[sarahsbloke]

I just realized that no one is speaking about love, true love.

True love strikes at all age, and is rare enough to put very different people (physically) together.

A young woman in her 30's have already got 10 or more boyfriends, all gone with another girl for different reason. If she finds a nice farang older than her for 10-20 years, very sweet and warm, who cares about her and her kid, who bring her an happy smile on her face everyday, bring some security and another income in the house, why she would not fall in love with him and be a perfect wife?

Crikey

Most of the girls I have met in their 30s at in the 1000-3000 former lovers range.

You must be meeting really ugly girls, if they have only had that few customers boyfriends.

[Thakkar]

I just realized that no one is speaking about love, true love.

True love strikes at all age, and is rare enough to put very different people (physically) together.

A young woman in her 30's have already got 10 or more boyfriends, all gone with another girl for different reason. If she finds a nice farang older than her for 10-20 years, very sweet and warm, who cares about her and her kid, who bring her an happy smile on her face everyday, bring some security and another income in the house, why she would not fall in love with him and be a perfect wife?

Crikey

Most of the girls I have met in their 30s at in the 1000-3000 former lovers range.

You must be meeting really ugly girls, if they have only had that few customers boyfriends.

Now that's just mean. The guy is clearly in love and believes he is loved right back. He could be deluded, or not. Why assume the worst?

[sillyman99]

Simple FACT is, the vast majority of Farangs with Thai Partners will have met them in a bar.

You can give examples to the contrary, but the reality is what I have stated, you know it and I know it.

Thats why on anonymous internet Forums, posters will say, " My University educated wife " " My Thai Chinese wife " etc etc, would you introduce your Farang wife in such a way ?

Would you say " Meet my wife " or would you say " Meet my wife, she is university educated from a good family and she has connections " ?

I know ThaiVisa members are a breed apart, but I stand by my statement.

The vast majority, and I mean the vast majority of Farangs with Thai wives or GF's met in a Bar. Nothing wrong with that.

I met my first wife in a Bar in UK and I shagged her first night, then I ended up marrying her and she took everything from me in a divorce some years later.

[Furbie]

anyone who thinks the barscene in thailand is is just a throwaway is just cluless.THAILAND IS JUST ONE BIG BAR! i bet all these hiso men married to hiso wimmin spend a whole lotta time in the barscene.

Reading replys like yours i notice its usually from guys who have made very few posts,holidaymakers one and all ,you know nothing about Thailand and it people.

thaimate,

Just posting here to support you and back up your assertions. As well, I suggest you stop wasting your time trying to convince the ill informed that there is a professional expat side to Thailand. It’s kind of like the eagle that fell out of the nest as a fledgling and landed in with a bunch of chicks. It spent its whole life scratching and clawing at the ground with the rest of the chickens and never even knew it could fly. I suggest you leave the fallen eagles where they are, because they’re never going to soar when they don’t even know they can fly in the first place. Cheers.

[nikkoid66]

I just realized that no one is speaking about love, true love.

True love strikes at all age, and is rare enough to put very different people (physically) together.

A young woman in her 30's have already got 10 or more boyfriends, all gone with another girl for different reason. If she finds a nice farang older than her for 10-20 years, very sweet and warm, who cares about her and her kid, who bring her an happy smile on her face everyday, bring some security and another income in the house, why she would not fall in love with him and be a perfect wife?

Crikey

Most of the girls I have met in their 30s at in the 1000-3000 former lovers range.

You must be meeting really ugly girls, if they have only had that few customers boyfriends.

HAha, I hope you are joking.

I am very good at knowing the persons and talking with girls, you cannot beat me at this.

I can tell that most of the girls (not bar girls) I know had 3 or 4 boyfriends in their 20's.

Most regular girls are looking for a husband, and they are very shy externally (which does not means they are shy in the bed!). Beautiful girls have an ego and won't go with a farang with a dick in the head, you can be sure of that, or an uneducated Thai...

I have a concrete example of one girl, she is 28 and got 3 boyfriends total. She is stunning, when we go disco everyone is looking at her, very pale skin, small nose, and an ass to get you a boner instantly, 1.75m by all standard she is considered like at top model for the Thai. She got her first boyfriend at 19 and they stayed 5 years together, then they broke up and she stayed with nobody one year, then another boyfriend 2 years and now her boyfriend is a network engenier.

Now if you talk like an ass, girls like these will not even respond to you or accept a drink from you. I have seen that before. They can tell who is an asshol_e in the disco in an instant and you have no chance to pass thru the screening process ever.

Stick with your prostitutes if you want, but if you consider meeting with real nice girls, then be nice and respectful with them, act like a gentlemen, and you will see another face of Thailand.