Love......Or "Like"

[IanForbes]

Well, I am very pleased to see that some people can benefit in a thread like this. It takes all sorts to make a world.

I'm only shocked by the people saying I'm on the wind up because it's like they haven't seen any of the threads where people have found out they are not loved the way they thought they were. In some cases this has brought sadness, in others sadness has found the company of financial hardship. Seems they make good bedfellows the world over where relationships are concerned, But here in Thailand I thought there was some merit in letting the newbies know that all that glitters is not gold. That BY NO MEANS is to say you can't find love here. Simply that what looks like love to the untrained eye might be something else.

If some members are so insecure that they can't bare to even entertain the notion (which is widely documented and not from the machinations of my imagination) then they can of course feel free to read another thread more suited to their disposition.

No hard feelings.

Good post, Loz, and I don't know why the negegative comments. I think its because what has happened in their relationships they feel automatically applies to everyone's relationship.

There are two types of discussions on ANY forum.

1. Discussions about relationships

2. Questions that require a simple answer... such as how do I get from point A to point B, or what's a good restaurant.

The more complex the question, the longer the answer. Because relationships are so complex, ti takes a lot of discussion to answer even a portion of the topic. That is why people go to pyschologists.

There are many forms of love. There is the love you have with your children, parents and friends, which is usually different from the love you have for a spouse. I don't know anybody who feels the same about their spouse of 20 years or more, as they did when they were initially married. And, that doesn't mean they don't love their spouse. It just means it's a different form of love.

[moe666]

I was married to a woman (not Thai) for 15 years to find out one day in those years she had never loved me. Well it happens every where but in the end divorce was the best thing to happen to me.

This is one of those sublects that cannot be generalized to one nationality or race it happens every where but having read Thaivisa over the years it only happens in Thailand and Thai woman are the worst. hehehehe.

It does seem Thaivisa has an abudance of immature folks when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart and the little head.

[IanForbes]

I was married to a woman (not Thai) for 15 years to find out one day in those years she had never loved me. Well it happens every where but in the end divorce was the best thing to happen to me.

This is one of those sublects that cannot be generalized to one nationality or race it happens every where but having read Thaivisa over the years it only happens in Thailand and Thai woman are the worst. hehehehe.

It does seem Thaivisa has an abudance of immature folks when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart and the little head.

I was married to my first wife (not Thai) for 20 years, and yet I never really loved her. I doubt if she loved me either, but we were two people ready to get married and we both fit each others criteria of a good spouse. I would probably be still married to her if she hadn't had an affair that ended the realtionship. For the most part it was a pretty good marriage and we are still friends. She did me a big favour by leaving, even though it was a bit traumatic at the time. So yes, it DOES happen the world over.

[sillyman99]

I was married to a woman (not Thai) for 15 years to find out one day in those years she had never loved me. Well it happens every where but in the end divorce was the best thing to happen to me.

This is one of those sublects that cannot be generalized to one nationality or race it happens every where but having read Thaivisa over the years it only happens in Thailand and Thai woman are the worst. hehehehe.

It does seem Thaivisa has an abudance of immature folks when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart and the little head.

Ian, c'mon mate,

Would you take advice from total strangers on an anonymous internet forum ?

Why would you even ask ?

Lets face it mate, its one sad case that has to ask advice on life changing decisions from total strangers on an anonymous internet forum, thats just my opinion.

If you ask any advice here it will normally be " Run Forrest, Run ", shes scamming you, shes no good, her family are no good, her sister is no good, her brother is her husband, you'll regret it, and all this advice comes from who ?

It comes from Guys that profess they are very happy with their highly educated Thai Chinese wife who comes from a wealthy family and has connections, and they have never met a Bargirl before........................

Yeah Right ...................

You wanna believe that crap, up to you

Edited September 14, 2010 by sillyman99

[sarahsbloke]

After living with my first wife for 30 years (not Thai) and finding out she never loved me, but thought I could give her a good life, and then claimed anything and everything in order to get a better pay-off, I have come to the conclusion.

Love is a fleeting fantasy you might find for a short time.

But you really need to protect you money and property from your emotions

Money and property last forever, if handled correctly.

Do I love my new, much younger wife, you bet.

Am I faithful to her, yes.

What does she think of me?

Only a fool predicts other people's feelings towards them with certainly.

What I have noticed about men who lost/are about to lose large amounts of money to a woman, is they all state their woman is different. I confess I made this mistake with my former wife. Somebody said,

"the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

although I prefer

"if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got"

Edited September 15, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[David006]

After living with my first wife for 30 years (not Thai) and finding out she never loved me, but thought I could give her a good life, and then claimed anything and everything in order to get a better pay-off, I have come to the conclusion.

Love is a fleeting fantasy you might find for a short time.

But you really need to protect you money and property from your emotions

Money and property last forever, if handled correctly.

Do I love my new, much younger wife, you bet.

Am I faithful to her, yes.

What does she think of me?

Only a fool predicts other people's feelings towards them with certainly.

What I have noticed about men who lost/are about to lose large amounts of money to a woman, is they all state their woman is different. I confess I made this mistake with my former wife. Somebody said,

"the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

although I prefer

"if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got"

okay so all women ( and men) like money or what it buys and yes some or all are influenced by the buck in their choice of partner.

..but at the end of the day if the latter is the main raison d'etre the its not impossible for the partnership to fail...

...I believe love ( not necessarily the romantic kind) is initially low on the radar...more gratification of mutual miscellaneous needs, infatuation,addiction,security, mutual interest ....it all "figures in" I suppose..

One can never know if the other party's' version of their love is the same as yours....

....nice quotes very true methinks...

[bermondburi]

Ive known a few folk who tell me their wives love them whilst I know some of them are seeing sometimes 1-2 other guys whilst "husband" is away.

Love or like? theyll tell you what they want you to think.

And I know many Farangs that cheat on their Thai wives, yet these Farangs tell their wives what they want their wives to think !

Any difference ?

Have you by any chance got Thai Citizenship yet?

So you think I'm wrong ?

Obviously you haven't been here too long.

With you its Farang Good, Thai Bad Yes ?

Jeez mate, wait a few years, the biggest scam artists and con men in Thailand are certainly not Thai.

Maybe where you live

[Loz]

Only a fool predicts other people's feelings towards them with certainly.

This is the kind of simple summary that could be overlooked easily by an infatuated previously "burned" chap who comes to thailand following his small head.

thats fine as long as his small head doesn't have direct comms with his wallet. As long as th big head can have vito and is forever mindful of this above statement, I think happily ever after is quite achievable.

Thanks, SB. That is an outstanding declaration that I wish I had written myself. :jap:

[Loz]

No, Sillyman, but one can get an idea of some of the things to watch out for. I'm not saying if you drop the soap in a prison shower you'll get one up the bum, but that if you are careful not to drop the soap you will reduce the chances significantly of said unwanted attentions.

100/1, you've never been in prison.

How shocking that a member from Pattaya would say that like it's a bad thing...

[IanForbes]

No, Sillyman, but one can get an idea of some of the things to watch out for. I'm not saying if you drop the soap in a prison shower you'll get one up the bum, but that if you are careful not to drop the soap you will reduce the chances significantly of said unwanted attentions.

100/1, you've never been in prison.

How shocking that a member from Pattaya would say that like it's a bad thing...

That was a low blow, Loz...

True, but low just the same.

[jpez]

i think its fairly obvious. are u attracted to a woman twice your age? probably not.

my gf is similar age and earns more than me, so i can confidently say that she does love me.

So what do you do for a job, and what does she do ?

Listen mate, I'm not knocking you, I've known girls earning 150,000 Baht a month, which can be 5 times more than a Farang English Teacher earns.

I knew a girl that worked in sabairoom in pattaya 19 years ago and she earnt lots of money, she kept her German boyfriend in Thailand when he had no money of his own. She used to give him 1000 Baht per day spending money, and that was back in 1991, he had a great time. She was a big earner....

Yet he really loved her, and she loved him. To her, it was just a job.

i'm in enviro science and she is a lawyer at a bank. my point is that money appears to be a common theme in divorce stories around here. so i figure i'm a better chance if i take money out of the equation.

yes i know thai girls who have supported farang bfs in the past. these relationships did not last long of course! my gf wanted to do the same when i told her my concerns about finding work in thai.

[MEGALITHIC]

Like costs less. And yeah, I'm a cynic

[WinnieTheKhwai]

So if you were a 60 year old expat in Thailand, you'd be seeking out 60 year old women ?

Perhaps 50-something, or late 40's, but the answer is essentially 'yes'.

My wife will be 55 when I hit 60.

Edited September 16, 2010 by WinnieTheKhwai

[TheLaughingMan]

No, Sillyman, but one can get an idea of some of the things to watch out for. I'm not saying if you drop the soap in a prison shower you'll get one up the bum, but that if you are careful not to drop the soap you will reduce the chances significantly of said unwanted attentions.

100/1, you've never been in prison.

How shocking that a member from Pattaya would say that like it's a bad thing...

Haha awesome!