My Thai Step-Sister Really Hates Me!

[bifftastic]

i guess non of u guys are good at watching soap operas in thailand?

whats life without a bit of drama?? as annoying as it is it certainly makes life intresting!!!

true, very true

you decided what you're gonna do about it yet?

[mca]

i guess non of u guys are good at watching soap operas in thailand?

I'd rather stick red hot needles in my eyes.

[LT3]

i guess non of u guys are good at watching soap operas in thailand?

whats life without a bit of drama?? as annoying as it is it certainly makes life intresting!!!

true, very true

you decided what you're gonna do about it yet?

As for having the baby in England:- Just cant do it!! Too much money and too much stress!!

As for the step sister:- I'm going to Greece for two months (business) and if she still has a problem when I get back I'm just going to tell her that this stupid childishness stop NOW!! If she has a problem or dosen't agree with me, talk to me about it . Dont just go off in a sulk about it! Its too damaging for the family and the business. If she doesnt like me thats fine but dont bring it to work! I'm not going to accept it in the work place!!! Its her bag not mine I've done all I can to resolve the situation and I havent got time to stroke her ego 24/7! I've got my family to think about and I've got a job to do. So if she wants to be awkward then do it in her own time not on company time!!! Can't do much more than that!!!

[LT3]

i guess non of u guys are good at watching soap operas in thailand?

I'd rather stick red hot needles in my eyes.

[longstebe]

Smack her behind. Tell her to go and play with her dolls.

Seriously though, I'm with the other guys, I think she's a little jealous of her sister.

Like others have also advised, you have to be professional and direct. Let her do her thing. Don't be so paranoid about what people are talking or joking about, your only gonna make yourself look like a cock. Your management.

Good on ya though mate, 28 yrs old.

[LT3]

Why is someone appointing a foreign child of 28 as manager?

SC

because ive been working in the factory in england for many years and im here to show the workers how to use various machinery and tools and im the only one with the experience in the factory that he can trust! as for office stuff its all new to me!!

[mrtoad]

if you can't deal with a 16 year old, your "factory" is doomed.

You have a 16 year old "Office Manager" ..............

Sorry, words fail me - who on earth appoints a 16 year old as "Office Manager" and pretends to be running a serious business here (or anywhere else for that matter)???

Patrick

Have to agree, I think there are very few people at the age of 16 that would have the ability to manage people. I can't imagine that she has earnt any respect from the staff tha she manages either.

[neverdie]

if you can't deal with a 16 year old, your "factory" is doomed.

You have a 16 year old "Office Manager" ..............

Sorry, words fail me - who on earth appoints a 16 year old as "Office Manager" and pretends to be running a serious business here (or anywhere else for that matter)???

Patrick

Have to agree, I think there are very few people at the age of 16 that would have the ability to manage people. I can't imagine that she has earnt any respect from the staff tha she manages either.

Clearly outlined by her attitude towards the boss .

[mrtoad]

Clearly outlined by her attitude towards the boss .

Maybe it's a plan to get moved to an "INACTIVE POST".

[Xircal]

I think you should consider moving out of the factory and getting your own flat somewhere. This abrasive situation you find yourself in is not helped by the fact that you live and work in the same building with your stepsister albeit in different rooms. Putting physical distance between you and her is advisable as a means of relieving the tension between the two of you.

[473geo]

Find a management training course she can attend for a few days, encourage her development,......with the ultimate aim of her going to uni for 3 years...... .........if you are any good at people management this should be no problem.

To confront her again, and further more accuse her of being childish.........not a good move......IMHO.

[OxfordWill]

Why is someone appointing a foreign child of 28 as manager?

SC

It could be worse; it could be you in charge.

Edited October 2, 2010 by OxfordWill

[Tigs]

Well there have been a few people have tried to give some helpful advice and others that display the usual Thai Visa holier than thou approach.

My first question is why is the girl not at school? The mother should know that this is a vital part for a successful future for her daughter in Thailand.

Leadership and how to display it is a difficult process, there are lots and lots of resources on the web that will give you food for thought. You complain that the your step-sister does not like you, well remember that is part of life, not everybody can like you and although difficult to accept just let it go over your head. Don't let it bug you just because she doesn't say 'Morning' to you, maybe she is like many women and just doesn't do mornings

I assume that she has the job because it is a way of putting money in her pocket and that meets with the approval of her Mother. Your Father should know 100% that that is a road to failure. I know the owner of a Hotel who has a daughter who 'works' for the family business. He knew his wife expected the daughter to work but also knew it was going to cause trouble, as he needed correctly trained capable people working for him, so he invented a Job for her. It sounded really important, but just allowed her to take extended coffee and lunch breaks with her friends and go out for 'meetings' which invariably meant going to Swensens and doing some shopping. Everybody happy! Invent a more 'important job' and get a proper office manager in there supporting you. You could make her Director or VP of Information Technology, she can sit using Facebook all day or get her to 'research' all competitors on the web and she can monitor their activities and market strategies, or some other such bullsh*t. Make her responsible for selecting the employee of the month award and awarding a 1000 baht shopping voucher for Tesco's. Anything to make her feel important, give her face and importantly keep her out of YOUR face.

Good luck, speak with your dad wherever he is, skype is your friend!

keep us updated.

[JohnLeech]

Why is someone appointing a foreign child of 28 as manager?

SC

because ive been working in the factory in england for many years and im here to show the workers how to use various machinery and tools and im the only one with the experience in the factory that he can trust! as for office stuff its all new to me!!

............I'm going to Greece for two months ...........

Clearly indispensable to the factory - how will they get by without you for two months?

You are obviously both only doing the jobs you are because of your parents. Accept that and you may have made the first step towards resolving the problem.

[Tigs]

Why is someone appointing a foreign child of 28 as manager?

SC

because ive been working in the factory in england for many years and im here to show the workers how to use various machinery and tools and im the only one with the experience in the factory that he can trust! as for office stuff its all new to me!!

............I'm going to Greece for two months ...........

Clearly indispensable to the factory - how will they get by without you for two months?

You are obviously both only doing the jobs you are because of your parents. Accept that and you may have made the first step towards resolving the problem.

streetcowboy

Since when was someone a 'child' at age 28? I suppose you'll be wanting to raise the age of consent to 30 will you, just to be on the safe side.

John Leech

Sometimes if you have nothing good to say it's better off not saying anything. What has the OP done to you that gives you the right to attack his self esteem with comments like that? It's just nasty.

[LT3]

Why is someone appointing a foreign child of 28 as manager?

SC

because ive been working in the factory in england for many years and im here to show the workers how to use various machinery and tools and im the only one with the experience in the factory that he can trust! as for office stuff its all new to me!!

............I'm going to Greece for two months ...........

Clearly indispensable to the factory - how will they get by without you for two months?

You are obviously both only doing the jobs you are because of your parents. Accept that and you may have made the first step towards resolving the problem.

streetcowboy

Since when was someone a 'child' at age 28? I suppose you'll be wanting to raise the age of consent to 30 will you, just to be on the safe side.

John Leech

Sometimes if you have nothing good to say it's better off not saying anything. What has the OP done to you that gives you the right to attack his self esteem with comments like that? It's just nasty.

Thank you Tigs!!

As some one has already stated there is a lot of 'holier than thou' attitude of TV, which I find counter productive! And you are clearly right, at 28 I'm hardly a child anymore!!! But of course what does 'a child of 28' know about anything?? Not wanting to blow my own trumpet and sound egotistical but I've been through a lot (3/4 years homless plus a whole rack of other stuff too numerous to mention) and probably have more life experiance than some people twice my age!! Thats not to say I know everything and dont need to ask for advice from time to time!!

[otherstuff1957]

I would start lobbying your parents to get her sent back to school. Point out that her future career opportunities will be severely limited if she does not finish High School & go on to University.

A 16 year old should be worrying about passing the A-Net or O-net or whatever it is, not managing a factory!

[JohnLeech]

Why is someone appointing a foreign child of 28 as manager?

SC

because ive been working in the factory in england for many years and im here to show the workers how to use various machinery and tools and im the only one with the experience in the factory that he can trust! as for office stuff its all new to me!!

............I'm going to Greece for two months ...........

Clearly indispensable to the factory - how will they get by without you for two months?

You are obviously both only doing the jobs you are because of your parents. Accept that and you may have made the first step towards resolving the problem.

streetcowboy

Since when was someone a 'child' at age 28? I suppose you'll be wanting to raise the age of consent to 30 will you, just to be on the safe side.

John Leech

Sometimes if you have nothing good to say it's better off not saying anything. What has the OP done to you that gives you the right to attack his self esteem with comments like that? It's just nasty.

He's done nothing Tigs - he asked for advice, and had the honesty to say that he had never been a manager before and knew nothing about management.

If he doesn't realise and accept that he is only doing the job because of his father (just as his step-sister is only doing her job because of her mother), then he will never resolve the problem as it has nothing to do with their respective abilities as managers.

If he (or you) thinks that "3/4 years homless plus a whole rack of other stuff too numerous to mention" adds to his ability as a competent factory manager then the factory has a problem.

Sometimes if you have nothing constructive to say it's better off not saying anything. It's just stupid.

[bina]

get back on topic and stop the bickering and name calling or warnings will be given out...

bina

[BRichards]

Yeah I know 16 and office manager!! But sacking her just is not an option!

1. I dont have the authority to do that

2. Dads away most of the time and left the day to day running up to us!

3. I've never been a manager before (and lets be honest how many 28 year old factory managers are there?) so I'm learning on the fly. I know about the production side of things and how the machines work e.t.c. but the nuances of being a manager are new to me!

4. Social politics of Thailand and social politics of the family makes this a sensitive situation!

Thanks for the advice so far!!:jap:

I really feel its getting to the point of setting the ultamatum!!

But I'm now in the prediciment that I cant go back home because of the pregnant wife!!! So basicly I'm f**ked unless this can get sorted out!!

Would love to say to her to stop being such a petulant child but that will just make the situation worse!!

Can you back that ultamatum? Maybe you can ask other people for adive on work matter, go around her and in a way unofficially promote another in her place. BR.

[otherstuff1957]

I've been thinking about this and I keep coming back to the fact that she is 16 years old and is a manager. Thai society is much more age-conscious than ours. Unless everyone else in the factory is also quite young I just don't see how they can take her seriously or feel comfortable with her supervising them.

She must also be aware of this. I wonder if the friction between her and the OP might be due to her feeling of insecurity about being on a roughly equal level with someone who is much older and more mature than her. Simply by being older and more experienced, the OP is a threat to her authority.

While the father may not be aware of this problem, the mother almost certainly is and I'm amazed that she would put her daughter into this situation... unless she wants to the create so much tension that the OP simply leaves. Having a much younger sibling in a superior or equal position to an older sibling is just not normal in Thai society. Either the father unintentionally set this uncomfortably situation up or the mother is jockeying for position and using her daughter as a pawn.

... I just talked to my wife about this and she agrees... The mother/stepmother is behind this and has set up the situation to drive out the OP and possibly get rid of the father as well.