Conditional Gift Contract For Tgf

[jayinoz]

Now I am sure many of us know of the Nam Jai term being unconditional generousity to a loved one. But let us face it nothing is unconditional between spouses.I know of men having housing contracts with their partners. Being it is in the partners name, yet the man gets a 30 year with option for more. Also if they split the man has the right to sell within a given time frame.Now can we do similar contracts for other items- cars for example. If your partner is not to put in one cent and they wish for it in their name. Then I think it is acceptable that you can have a contract that stipulates certain conditions like; as long as you stay together as partners.Has anyone got agrrements on any large assets except for a house. Naturally i will get the comments of me being tight arse or put it in my own name.Now simply put if she was putting in a good portion of the Net Worth then it is acceptable. But for my money to simply hand it over unconditionally is not for me.Conditional Contracts should solve this issue for any girl wanting a car, bike, etc in her name and us Farangs feeling more secure.Any thoughts apart from me being insecure or tight arse. Cheers....

[sarahsbloke]

Why would you put something you purchased in another persons name?

Either give it to them outright as a gift.

Or keep it in your own name for yourself.

[TheWalkingMan]

Stamp your name on it and forget about putting anything in her name. If she gives you any stick about why it is not in her name then it might be time to, as the kids say, "Kick her to the curb" as her greed is showing.

Seriously, if you want to put something in someone else's name, I volunteer and I won't even metaphorically kick you in the gonads when I drive off into the sunset with it.

All joking aside, I would not call you a tight arse for wanting to keep assets in your name. Just tell her, awww sugar face, you know we will be together forever and as long as we are together you can drive it.

TheWalkingMan

[UberBraun]

This is Thailand.  What makes you think a contract would have any meaning?

[jayinoz]

<FONT size=4>Naturally she wants it as a gift- naturally she feels she needs some security as we have been together for sometime. Just in case security- as I not prepared to ever marry again. As that peice of paper cost me too much money once before... I have stated that she willing to keep if I break the relationship, security as she saids- yet I want security also if I am laying down all the funds.

Certainly anyone would feel uneasy with no security and dependant on the man for everything- she knows she will never get a house or any huge thing of value and she accepts this. But she wants something to feel I care and to make her feel safe... So a couple of 100K bt will have to be it- sure I can afford it. However I need security the other way- if she ends the relationship and choofs off then she sacrifices the car- only fair in this one sided deal.

Smart Thais are not stupid- they need some security or else they will move onto someone who can provide the security. Being dependant on me for day to day living has her concerned about her future if I choof off with another women- this I understand. As she helped to break up my first marriage so she feels the same will happen to her.

I thought a happy medium would be to have a Conditional Gift Contract- if broken by me then she has the car- if she breaks she sacrifices the car--- all good then we all know where we stand. That gets the cheating issue done and dusted.

Conducted like a business transaction makes sense to me- because their is no such thing as an unconditional gift in 99% of cases I believe. We would all agree that any large gift we give comes conditional with staying together- I do not buy into this unconditional Nam Jai.... We all want something back. That the way of the world.

Conditional contracts take the confusion out of gift given- if she refusing to sign that then she figures she has a high risk of going elsewhere in the future and I kick her to the curb.

As a one sided marriage break up happened before I not about to get back into that... As Thailand has Contractual freedom for the most part and I heard that Farangs have taken Thai cars and motorbikes for not paying back loans. As a contract between the Thai and Farang was enforceable.

A conditional gift contract will be enforceable also... I am sure many guys who have forked over cars, motorbikes, etc would have loved to had an enforceable contract held over them. Naturally everyday living expenses, education, etc, etc that they all take for granted we can never have a conditional loan against. Yet an asset we can- it is a conditional loan for the life of the car until sold.

Anyway sounds like nobody else has done it- I certainly will be doing it. Seeing as my Aussie wife took near half of all I had and contributed a tiny fraction to our assets. This is a different world here and our partners have to prove more than just 2 years together to gain access to our assets. Basically they need things in their name or to be married to us then we aquire items during the marriage. Then they can make a claim for these items in the case of a break up.

Trust is not a vitue of mine.

[damian7000]

she needs a car to show you love her or a couple of 100k baht gifts, but if she leaves you, she has to give them back.

and she helped break up your first marriage?

i don't even know where to begin. sounds like you're perfect for each other, that's a start i guess.

[UberBraun]

<FONT size=4>Naturally she wants it as a gift- naturally she feels she needs some security as we have been together for sometime. Just in case security- as I not prepared to ever marry again. As that peice of paper cost me too much money once before... I have stated that she willing to keep if I break the relationship, security as she saids- yet I want security also if I am laying down all the funds.

Certainly anyone would feel uneasy with no security and dependant on the man for everything- she knows she will never get a house or any huge thing of value and she accepts this. But she wants something to feel I care and to make her feel safe... So a couple of 100K bt will have to be it- sure I can afford it. However I need security the other way- if she ends the relationship and choofs off then she sacrifices the car- only fair in this one sided deal.

Smart Thais are not stupid- they need some security or else they will move onto someone who can provide the security. Being dependant on me for day to day living has her concerned about her future if I choof off with another women- this I understand. As she helped to break up my first marriage so she feels the same will happen to her.

I thought a happy medium would be to have a Conditional Gift Contract- if broken by me then she has the car- if she breaks she sacrifices the car--- all good then we all know where we stand. That gets the cheating issue done and dusted.

Conducted like a business transaction makes sense to me- because their is no such thing as an unconditional gift in 99% of cases I believe. We would all agree that any large gift we give comes conditional with staying together- I do not buy into this unconditional Nam Jai.... We all want something back. That the way of the world.

Conditional contracts take the confusion out of gift given- if she refusing to sign that then she figures she has a high risk of going elsewhere in the future and I kick her to the curb.

As a one sided marriage break up happened before I not about to get back into that... As Thailand has Contractual freedom for the most part and I heard that Farangs have taken Thai cars and motorbikes for not paying back loans. As a contract between the Thai and Farang was enforceable.

A conditional gift contract will be enforceable also... I am sure many guys who have forked over cars, motorbikes, etc would have loved to had an enforceable contract held over them. Naturally everyday living expenses, education, etc, etc that they all take for granted we can never have a conditional loan against. Yet an asset we can- it is a conditional loan for the life of the car until sold.

Anyway sounds like nobody else has done it- I certainly will be doing it. Seeing as my Aussie wife took near half of all I had and contributed a tiny fraction to our assets. This is a different world here and our partners have to prove more than just 2 years together to gain access to our assets. Basically they need things in their name or to be married to us then we aquire items during the marriage. Then they can make a claim for these items in the case of a break up.

Trust is not a vitue of mine.

55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555

Good grief, where to begin...

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Good luck, mate.  You two are made for each other.

[hagler]

<FONT size=4>Naturally she wants it as a gift- naturally she feels she needs some security as we have been together for sometime. Just in case security- as I not prepared to ever marry again. As that peice of paper cost me too much money once before... I have stated that she willing to keep if I break the relationship, security as she saids- yet I want security also if I am laying down all the funds.

Certainly anyone would feel uneasy with no security and dependant on the man for everything- she knows she will never get a house or any huge thing of value and she accepts this. But she wants something to feel I care and to make her feel safe... So a couple of 100K bt will have to be it- sure I can afford it. However I need security the other way- if she ends the relationship and choofs off then she sacrifices the car- only fair in this one sided deal.

Smart Thais are not stupid- they need some security or else they will move onto someone who can provide the security. Being dependant on me for day to day living has her concerned about her future if I choof off with another women- this I understand. As she helped to break up my first marriage so she feels the same will happen to her.

I thought a happy medium would be to have a Conditional Gift Contract- if broken by me then she has the car- if she breaks she sacrifices the car--- all good then we all know where we stand. That gets the cheating issue done and dusted.

Conducted like a business transaction makes sense to me- because their is no such thing as an unconditional gift in 99% of cases I believe. We would all agree that any large gift we give comes conditional with staying together- I do not buy into this unconditional Nam Jai.... We all want something back. That the way of the world.

Conditional contracts take the confusion out of gift given- if she refusing to sign that then she figures she has a high risk of going elsewhere in the future and I kick her to the curb.

As a one sided marriage break up happened before I not about to get back into that... As Thailand has Contractual freedom for the most part and I heard that Farangs have taken Thai cars and motorbikes for not paying back loans. As a contract between the Thai and Farang was enforceable.

A conditional gift contract will be enforceable also... I am sure many guys who have forked over cars, motorbikes, etc would have loved to had an enforceable contract held over them. Naturally everyday living expenses, education, etc, etc that they all take for granted we can never have a conditional loan against. Yet an asset we can- it is a conditional loan for the life of the car until sold.

Anyway sounds like nobody else has done it- I certainly will be doing it. Seeing as my Aussie wife took near half of all I had and contributed a tiny fraction to our assets. This is a different world here and our partners have to prove more than just 2 years together to gain access to our assets. Basically they need things in their name or to be married to us then we aquire items during the marriage. Then they can make a claim for these items in the case of a break up.

Trust is not a vitue of mine.

you need to join a social club or find a hobby that involves interaction with real people. Your mind is going...

[sarahsbloke]

Why not just buy her a few rai of land in here home village (or wherever)

50kbht per rai ...........

[bifftastic]

A conditional gift contract...how romantic.

Anyway, either it's your car, in which case it's in your name, or it's a gift to her, in which case it's in her name.

Who gives anyone a present with a contract stating 'if we don't get on any more you have to give it back'? If you want to share it with her, ie. 'it's our car' then keep it in your name.

If you want to use a car, or any other monetarily expensive item, as some kind of 'stay with me or you lose all these things' trick, then I think you need to go and see someone. Not just anyone, someone who will charge you quite a lot of money for you to sit down and explain yourself to them. Given that you're paying them, they will, hopefully, be able to help you work through these issues.

Also, if I were presented with such a 'conditional gift' concept by a loved one, I would smile, say thank you very much, yes I understand, no problem. Whilst simultaneously devising a very humorous and cruel way of depriving you of it, and any self-esteem you may have left.

Just a thought.

[Naam]

This is Thailand.  What makes you think a contract would have any meaning?

[Naam]

Why not just buy her a few rai of land in here home village (or wherever)

50kbht per rai ....

or a new outfit for her boyfriend ahmmm... brother

[bushwacker]

Why would you put something you purchased in another persons name?

Either give it to them outright as a gift.

Or keep it in your own name for yourself.

I completely agree with this. It is either a gift or not a gift. You are confusing the situation. In legal terms there is no such thing as a conditional gift. hihihihihihi :jap:

[bushwacker]

Why not just buy her a few rai of land in here home village (or wherever)

50kbht per rai ...........

Hmmmmm..... where can you find land now for 50K per rai????

Really .... i am interested.

[enerzne]

Security comes after some time, where i am from. Not, as i see it often here in this lovely country, after the first few weeks or so together. (Maybe it should be nights)

What do you think about this:

- Open here an account in her name.

- Put 5000 Baht in there every month.

- Call it rent or retirement pension.

- She is not allowed to use this money now, as it is for the future.

- A lot of years together gives a lot of money.

- Just: 'Love you long time'....

[H2oDunc]

Wow ! What a sad relationship to be in. You need some help !

[welovesundaysatspace]

Smart Thais are not stupid- they need some security or else they will move onto someone who can provide the security.

Get a decent girl who can provide security herself.

In legal terms there is no such thing as a conditional gift. hihihihihihi :jap:

I am not familiar with Thai law, but in some countries there is something like a "conditional gift", for example you can give someone your house but make it a condition that you are allowed to live in there your whole life.

[jayinoz]

Yes maybe she is made for me- Thank you.

We signed a Initimate Partnership Agreement written in Thai and English (All done by a lawyer for 5K bt)and all is fine. She feels more secure that I will not kick her out the door for another and I feel better that she respects me enough to understand. After nearly 5 years together she knows the way I think more than most. Those planning to get married would call it a 'Pre Nup', very common. Naturally she wished for a few extra items on the list in case I kick her out the door for another. Also it turned into a 'Will' for both parties at the same time in terms of assets in Thailand. I think my phrasing of the contract was incorrect, yet it basically the same thing. Anyone who has a good amount of assets would be silly not to have one signed IMO.

So we both feel more secure. Not so romantic but life is not a movie- this is real life. We celebrated with friends and family afterwards and all was surprisingly good. When I was expecting a rejection of the proposal, if she is to have large assets in her name. It took time to sink in and talk about it with the lawyer, but the lawyer gave her hints into protecting herself more also. So it is a Win-Win.

Yes I knew I would get a hammering with some of the narrow minded on TV. I was asking for it...

Agreements like this, another word is Premaritial or intimate partnership agreements are here to stay forever- if you have assets to protect. I presume many poster here must have very little to nothing to protect and feel it is not worth it. Remembering that the laws when involved with a Thai are often very one side- you may need to be smarter than you would otherwise be.

Some typical condesending remarks by people who do not know the score in Thailand, especially I feel.

The feeling of security, feeling loved, happiness and cared for is not only emotional, it is materialistic throughout the world- like it or not.

Most people do not talk about this as they fear being judged- I could care less about the judgement of others here- you are not my family or loved one.

Look at the old guys with Power and money, Eg Trump- they can have any super model they wish (Nearly). Not to mention the business like arrangements especially in places like SE Asia. As you see many mid aged and far older guys with 20yo cutie's on their arm- why do you think you can not get these girls from your own country? You probably do not have the money and power to do so- as you need far more of it in your homeland for the same amount of attention... Yet here you are well off and more respected thus have more of a selection. This comes at a materialist price for those selecting only on the basis of primarily looks. Even if she is not a looker then you still need to fulfill her values and needs or she will walk....

I think several men on this thread disillusion themselves that love can be unconditional. All love is conditional except in many cases babies and children to their Mum\Dad (For the most part) need unconditional care. Yet when you get older you find you do not have that unconditional love from your Mum\Dad anymore, it becomes conditional the same as any other. Naturally they are more likely for forgive and forget for indiscretions, as they made you.

If you were a drug addict or constant drunk who treats your girl very poorly- would she stay with you. Unfortunately the answer can be more often than not, yes when more desperation is at stake. As in SE Asia.

Eventually however she will kick you to the curb- as you do not live up to her ideals and values. When she finds another who she 'thinks' will. Thus the subtle differences between Thai and Farang relationships where we place independance as a number 1 priority and they place Nam Jai (Unconditional generousity) as their supposed No 1 priority in Asian cultures. What you give shows how much you care. Being an equal is not valued as highly, thus the number of men hooking up with Asians increases yearly. Many Farang women seem disillusioned in this as many have been brought up to believe a man respect independance from a women above all else. Materialistic matters and love are not supposed to meet in Western culture. Yet they are expected to meet very often in Asian cultures. If you are the richer of the 2, you must provide her security and make her happy or eventually you will be kicked to their curb. Yet it will be your fault- you cannot win.

I am realistic about the expectations of women in this culture and all over the world. They need love, protection and to feel very safe- that you wish to try provide all the needs they wish. That you wish for their happiness just as much as your own.

Many men (Young and old) fool themselves to think that she can only love you... I feel sorry for many Farangs now who land into financial strife due to the manipulation of a cutie. Does not matter what advice you offer- they will not listen. Plus Vice Versa of the men who are 'Users' and offer there girl no future if something happens to them. They need total control of all assets and manipulate the relationship for her to be a slave. Very common.

If agreements are done in good faith then the end result can be a Win-Win for both parties to feel very safe and secure about their future together. It can enhance the relationship when all your 'chips' are on the table.

As most men offer promises of giving the girl that and that but never ever follow through- it is coomon the world over to get women into bed. Then stay in your bed and kitchen for as long as possible.

You give her gifts based on the condition that you trust she will always be by your side and love you. Providing you what you need based on your values and need- be real with yourself... We all need certain selected 'needs' from a partner in differing order depending on the individual.

If you know girls then you know that they need security and to be protected thus loved primarily. Not just this supposed romantic notion that everything given is from your heart. Every little thing she does for you is conditional; you are not her child.

In my case she takes care of my house, other duties, translates, prepares food, provides intimacy, take care of me when sick, cleans, takes care of kids from a former spouse, etc, etc- why does she do all this.... So I will love her meaning she feels safe, happy, cared for, protected and secure. Just the same as I wish for from her. Yet priority wise the sexes are different for the most part in many of these values.

This is my 2 cents and I am not losing my mind as one poster suggested. That poster simply lives in a world full of sunshine and roses.

Shoot me down again and I will recipricate if I can be bothered. Conditional contracts (Premartial or Partership Agreements) are here to stay forever.

:jap:

[sarahsbloke]

I protect my assets by not having any in Thailand (and not appearing to have any anywhere).

I gave my wife 100kbht to pay off a loan on her farm as a marriage gift ..... to be paid 2 months after the wedding. The only strings attached were two months of fun first. She didn't have to stick with me after the first two months, and there would have been no hard feelings on my part, if she had bailed.

Not so much an 'unconditional love' thing, but more a 'no agreement between Thai and foreigner will ever be supported in Thailand' thing and a getting value for money thing.

All you have done is make yourself look more value to her dead.

Not a position I would ever want myself to be, in a country where life is so cheap.

Edited October 3, 2010 by sarahsbloke