Never Wai A Waitress

[richard_smith237]

Anyone do the 'one handed wai' when we're holding something in the other hand.... ?

[sarahsbloke]

I was in a Short time bar in Soi 6 and some old geezer started to wai all the girls, nobody was offended, but it did look a little strange.

It was Lolitas, wasn't it!?!

I find they usually prefer 20bht stuffed in their panties

[StreetCowboy]

Anyone do the 'one handed wai' when we're holding something in the other hand.... ?

Thats a way hay.

I sometimes do that when I'm driving. I call it a High Wai

SC

[Thakkar]

I find that, if one's a foreigner, a polite nod accompanied by a smile is as good as a wai (or an acceptable response to a wai) for most occasions.

It's impossible to make a list, but there are times when a wai is absolutely the correct and required greeting. It shouldn't take more than a few months of living a normal life here (as opposed to just bar-hopping or expat ghetto living), to be able to get it intuitively right, mostly.

In any case, if sincere attempts at politeness, however ham-handed, makes one look like a <deleted> in some people's eyes, then I posit that the accusers would find a much bigger one in the mirror.

Just because we are guests here, doesn't mean we have to buy into everything Thai. If some of the things we do—even awkwardly— help, in however small a way, to break down class barriers, that's not a bad thing.

[tombkk]

Anyone do the 'one handed wai' when we're holding something in the other hand.... ?

I try to avoid it, and would never do it to a higher-ranking person. Better to make an imperfect wai with both hands; at times, I have put whatever I carried down in order to make an appropriate wai.

With my friends, when they wai to me, a one-hand wai in reply is OK, I feel.

[tombkk]

I find that, if one's a foreigner, a polite nod accompanied by a smile is as good as a wai (or an acceptable response to a wai) for most occasions.

It's impossible to make a list, but there are times when a wai is absolutely the correct and required greeting. It shouldn't take more than a few months of living a normal life here (as opposed to just bar-hopping or expat ghetto living), to be able to get it intuitively right, mostly.

In any case, if sincere attempts at politeness, however ham-handed, makes one look like a <deleted> in some people's eyes, then I posit that the accusers would find a much bigger one in the mirror.

Just because we are guests here, doesn't mean we have to buy into everything Thai. If some of the things we do—even awkwardly— help, in however small a way, to break down class barriers, that's not a bad thing.

I agree with everything except the last sentence. We are not here to change the culture. That doesn't mean that every expat has to learn the perfect wai - everybody adapts as much as he is willing to. As usual, the healthy truth might be between the two extremes.

[CarlBkk]

Does this go for those tossers who wai the police/imm staff?

If they are in a position of power over you, it is entirely appropiate

That goes for almost everyone in public office and public administration employment .

(in situations where you want something from them and they have the power to refuse).

No, you'd be adhering to the archaic social hierarchy within Thai society by doing so. Not a good thing. Government officials as above absolutely LOVE to exert power over their subs and general public needing their services. Have you noticed that only those Thais (mostly lower order) who wish to kiss ass to get something done, wai? Most Thais confident about their social standing and brainpower will just go and get the business done, be polite, and leave.

At that moment in time they may be able to make a decision to help/hinder you, yes, so in a way they may have some power over you..and they know it....but believe me, at immigration if you wai them 9/10 will NOT wai back (thai or farang), and that's very rude. They hardly even look at you. Wai-ing in this instance to people of power is for kissing ass only. Unnecessary in a government office to a clerk doing their day-to-day job.

[rixalex]

As a wealthy and educated white person, I take the position, every Thai is of lower order (unless, MIL, an important monk or royal family). I do pretty much the same as a wealthy Thai.

Your arrogance knows no bounds.

[GarryP]

Only those who refer to themselves as "Khun" followed by their name have to wai everybody. These people are more commonly know as tossers or "right <deleted>".

[carmine]

As a wealthy and educated white person, I take the position, every Thai is of lower order (unless, MIL, an important monk or royal family). I do pretty much the same as a wealthy Thai.

Your arrogance knows no bounds.

Unbelievable statement really.

[Kilgore Trout]

wow, you are really on roll with this crap. Why don't you worry less about others and more about yourself

Well, those with a little more than some between the ears can deal with and handle both.

Yes, I would say you certainly have a little more of something between the ears

[onnut]

So simple and yet so complicated ...

How do you know if someone is of a "low order" ?

My employees "wai" me but I "wai" the father of our maid who is much older than me and not my employee. I don't know if it's correct but it's the way I feel it.

Luckily we are not Thais and our mistakes are easily forgiven ...

But as least a clear rule is if someone "wais" you, it's basic politeness to return the wai.

It's actually very easy, age is not the overriding cosideration in most cases, a maids father has no status in your household (unless you are shagging her, in which case he might be entitled to a wai)

As a wealthy and educated white person, I take the position, every Thai is of lower order (unless, MIL, an important monk or royal family). I do pretty much the same as a wealthy Thai.

Do you pick your nose alot also?

[Soutpeel]

Only those who refer to themselves as "Khun" followed by their name have to wai everybody. These people are more commonly know as tossers or "right <deleted>".

Quote of the day me thinks, but would suggest in addtion to the Khun t's, we should make everyone who calls themselves "ajarn" wai everyone as well

[bunnaag]

do you wai the immigration official when you renew your visa?

[Livinginexile]

Thai's look very gracious when they wai.

When Farangs wai, they remind me of performing seals clapping their paws/flippers together

Farangs shouldn't wai, it just doesn't become them

[mca]

I don't have a problem with a smile and a quick wai of thanks for the police colonel at immi who's just stamped and signed my renewal. She returns it.

As for waiing waiting staff. A quick acknowledging wai if they wai you as you leave never hurt anybody. It's just being polite. If a nod or a smile is your way of replying that's cool.

[Livinginexile]

<deleted>, you may think but some of us open doors for ladies, yes even Thai ladies, being polite and dare l say a gentleman for some of us is inbuilt. Respect should be shown to all. If the OP has a problem with that then l feel sad for him/her and his word <deleted> fits his/her out look.

Opens doors for Thai ladies

Polite

Inbuilt

Shows repect

Gentleman

Soi 6

Edited October 9, 2010 by Livinginexile

[carmine]

<deleted>, you may think but some of us open doors for ladies, yes even Thai ladies, being polite and dare l say a gentleman for some of us is inbuilt. Respect should be shown to all. If the OP has a problem with that then l feel sad for him/her and his word <deleted> fits his/her out look.

Opens doors for Thai ladies

Polite

Inbuilt

Shows repect

Gentleman

Soi 6

Do you actually have a point to make or is this just a demonstration in the overuse of emoticons?

[Laughing Gravy]

I walked into a pub yesterday, and all the staff gave me a wai and I did the same back. Felt a little stupid for doing it but I know all the staff coz they used to work for me and I would feel un-polite had I not.

The other customers must of thought I was a <deleted>!!!

How very true, who cares as the original op mentiones? But if you live here in Thailand for a long time and don't want to look like a <deleted> of a tourist', like the original OP seems to imply. Maybe you you will assimilate into the culture and population. It depends if you respond to a wai, then wai back? How you wai is important. As onnut states ''it feels unpolite. I assume he has been here for a few years? Stay here for a bit longer and the op might realise the courtesy of a reply wai',just like if you hold your hand out in the west and it is not shaken. Who looks the <deleted> then?

But if the OP is refeering to a westerner initiating a wai, then they are mis-informed, of the cultural heirachy.'

[sarahsbloke]

As a wealthy and educated white person, I take the position, every Thai is of lower order (unless, MIL, an important monk or royal family). I do pretty much the same as a wealthy Thai.

Your arrogance knows no bounds.

Thank you for the compliment (If we had greenies, I would give you 1)

[digibum]

As some people have already mentioned, even Thais can't explain the rules. And I'm sure if you asked 100 Thais you would get 100 different answers. Just ask 100 farangs what the rules are for two farangs meeting. You'll get all sorts of answers.

That said, there are some rules and I think those mostly apply when a wai is absolutely mandatory. Whether you decide to return a wai to a waitress is completely up to you and anybody who wants to call you a <deleted> so be it.

The people who really need to tone it down a bit are the farangs who try to be Thai with other farangs. A few weeks ago I saw a guy walk into a bar and shot a wai at the farang owner. The owner sort of nodded his head to acknowledge his presence and the guy just stood there with his hands in front of his chin waiting for him to return the wai. The guy said, "Come on, get your hands up there and say a proper hello." The owner just looked at him and said "<deleted> you. How's that?."

Same bar a few nights later and there are two Aussies sitting in the bar and they start talking to the owner and one of them ends every sentence with "khrap" or "chai mai". The rest was pure Tinglish with stuff like "sister her" and liberally sprinkling in mak-mak and jing-jing.

[Shotime]

As a wealthy and educated white person, I take the position, every Thai is of lower order (unless, MIL, an important monk or royal family). I do pretty much the same as a wealthy Thai.

Your arrogance knows no bounds.

Unbelievable statement really.

I'm going to come to sarahsbloke defense here (I hope he doesn't resent that) cause I've seen him show some insight into what Thai society is like, and he never seemed arrogant to me.. It's a comment on the place of the wai in the Thai cultural structure. Whereas it should be a sign of respect, in some cases, it's more a sign of subserviance. Kind of like ass-kissing. What's an MIL, anyway?

As far as waitresses go, I wai them back all the time. I've always been lucky with waitresses.

Off-topic: Phils take two in a row. Go Pfightin'!!

[longstebe]

I think i'm right in saying it is taken as a politeness to wai the older generation. You should not feel stupid doing this and Thais certainly won't think you stupid.

Other than that i think its rather pathetic to slag off peoples attempts to be courteous and polite. Personally i wish there was more of it in the world.

Totally agree mate.

Also agree with one of the other posts, when it feels right.

[mca]

A few weeks ago I saw a guy walk into a bar and shot a wai at the farang owner. The owner sort of nodded his head to acknowledge his presence and the guy just stood there with his hands in front of his chin waiting for him to return the wai. The guy said, "Come on, get your hands up there and say a proper hello." The owner just looked at him and said "<deleted> you. How's that?."

What's the correct cultural procedure for smacking a gobshite western bar owner in the face? Do you reach over the bar and pull him towards you or do you hoist yourself up on the bar and deliver the blow from there?

[longstebe]

So simple and yet so complicated ...

How do you know if someone is of a "low order" ?

My employees "wai" me but I "wai" the father of our maid who is much older than me and not my employee. I don't know if it's correct but it's the way I feel it.

Luckily we are not Thais and our mistakes are easily forgiven ...

But as least a clear rule is if someone "wais" you, it's basic politeness to return the wai.

It's actually very easy, age is not the overriding cosideration in most cases, a maids father has no status in your household (unless you are shagging her, in which case he might be entitled to a wai)

As a wealthy and educated white person, I take the position, every Thai is of lower order (unless, MIL, an important monk or royal family). I do pretty much the same as a wealthy Thai.

Your shittin me.

Be careful, if your Mother heard you say that she would smack your bottom.

The <deleted> that comes out of these teenagers mouths nowadays.

[mca]

IMHO the Thais who acknowledge a wai from an " inferior " ( heavy use of inverted commas there) have simply been raised to be extremely polite. The same as in a restaurant I always say " thank you " when the staff bring me something. It's how I was brought up.

It's not exactly rocket science.

[longstebe]

IMHO the Thais who acknowledge a wai from an " inferior " ( heavy use of inverted commas there) have simply been raised to be extremely polite. The same as in a restaurant I always say " thank you " when the staff bring me something. It's how I was brought up.

It's not exactly rocket science.

Another normal post.

Again, totally agree.

[digibum]

A few weeks ago I saw a guy walk into a bar and shot a wai at the farang owner. The owner sort of nodded his head to acknowledge his presence and the guy just stood there with his hands in front of his chin waiting for him to return the wai. The guy said, "Come on, get your hands up there and say a proper hello." The owner just looked at him and said "<deleted> you. How's that?."

What's the correct cultural procedure for smacking a gobshite western bar owner in the face? Do you reach over the bar and pull him towards you or do you hoist yourself up on the bar and deliver the blow from there?

If you have to ask you probably would end up on the wrong side of that slapping.

Let me make some things clear though:

1. The customer was a farang

2. The customer was a regular and drunk.

It's not like that's how he greets every customer. But he's also not the type of person to do stuff like wai another farang just to humor them. If it was a joke he might return a wai but farangs who seriously wai farangs don't deserve a wai back.

[mca]

Thanks for clarifying he was drunk. Makes you first post make sense.

[Ulysses G.]

My girlfriend, a 36 year old Thai woman often Wai's waitresses and shop staff. When I asked her to explain to me when it might be appropriate, she just said she did it "when it feels right".

That is my philosophy and I almost never wai anyone first. However, I will admit to wai-ing a few powerful officials that I needed a favor from.