Modern Thai Women 'Less Tolerant' Of Marriage

[webfact]

Women 'less tolerant' of marriage

The behaviour and attitudes of modern Thai women, especially those living in cities, are clearly different from those of their mothers and grandmothers, according to the head of business planning at marketing communications investment agency Mindshare, Pathamawan Sathaporn.

Commenting in her capacity as a researcher, she said this was partly because more women worked outside and had become confident about expressing opinions towards politics, social and economic matters.

However, she said the tolerance of city women for married life had lessened because they were surrounded by modern technologies that were fast and convenient; they were used to quick decision-making. They also feel that they are capable, so they don't need a man like before, so they opt more readily for divorce.

The divorce rate in Thailand has increased every year, she said. In 2007 about 300,000 couples registered their marriages, while 100,000 couples divorced. This is leading to more and more single-parent families and possible problems involving the children because they spend less time with their parents.

A study had also found that more than half of the juveniles committing crimes came from single-parent families.

Pathamawan's comments agree with the findings of a Nation Group study entitled "Modern Women: the power that changes Thailand". Associated with a National-Agenda seminar on the subject, it found that modern women considered themselves equal to men in the working world, especially in terms of payment, career advancement, co-workers' acceptance and career choices.

They also felt that they could stand on their own and didn't mind being single. The study found that 30 per cent of its female respondents were single. About 69 per cent of the single women said they didn't think about getting married because they loved freedom. Another 30 per cent said they wanted to work and realise their dreams, and 20 per cent said they didn't think anyone would understand them.

The study also found that 32 per cent of the respondents who said they thought about getting married said they didn't want children, while some also said the present environment wasn't appropriate for children.

-- The Nation 2010-10-12

[visions]

"and 20 per cent said they didn't think anyone would understand them."

Arguably the most factual part of the report!!

[whybother]

"and 20 per cent said they didn't think anyone would understand them."

Arguably the most factual part of the report!!

I'd argue that it would be more.

[slapout]

The remaining 80% are somewhat understandable for 20% of the time, thus the male specie is left in a quandary for the majority of the time by the majority of the women.

[Thai at Heart]

Did she hold this extensive research amongst her mates over a coffee in Starbucks in downtown Bangkok?

[scorecard]

Did she hold this extensive research amongst her mates over a coffee in Starbucks in downtown Bangkok?

Why do you say that?

[Thai at Heart]

Did she hold this extensive research amongst her mates over a coffee in Starbucks in downtown Bangkok?

Why do you say that?

Because if I stood infront of Starbucks on Silom and interviewed 100 women in trouser suits coming out of offices, I believe I would get precisely the same answers.

[IvanDobsky]

"more than half of the juveniles committing crimes came from single-parent families"

Absent father = unruly kid....surely not!

an article of sweeping generalisations written by a journalist who has been hand-fed the information from "marketing communications investment agency Mindshare"

[hammered]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

[lensta]

"they were used to quick decision-making" Really??? I have never seen a Thai

make a quick decission about anything.

[givenall]

Did she hold this extensive research amongst her mates over a coffee in Starbucks in downtown Bangkok?

How about all the unregistered marriages, or the ones have two wife, or wife and girl friends, or girls with many boyfriends, and not mentioning girls with girls and boys with boys:o

Just face it in Thailand nothing seems what it really is. I have never seen so much dissipation about relationship anywhere else I have lived, and I have lived in 3 continents and many cities. It is all about what works the best for any individuals

[bkksteviejai]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

You maybe right in some instances regarding a "doormat" wife as you put it. But I find it interesting to note a common western view of Thai women in general......that is politeness = weakness of character. Not sure there are many men (as you say) who really want to be married to a foot stool are there?.......maybe I'm wrong, I have been before

[rubl]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

Whether it's liked or not, what is true is true !

[zaza]

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."

- Mark Twain

[way2muchcoffee]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

Being conservative and traditionalist does not necessarily make one a misogynist.

I personally think it is quite proper for a family with children for either the woman or man to stay home and look after the children. Many of the problems in Western society stem from broken families and lack of parents having time to spend with their children.

In Thailand where salaries are low it makes sense for the wife to look after the home, perhaps go to school and pursue avocations and interests, even without children, if the husband has significant earnings.

Edited October 12, 2010 by way2muchcoffee

[rubl]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

Being conservative and traditionalist does not necessarily make one a misogynist.

I personally think it is quite proper for a family with children for either the woman or man to stay home and look after the children. Many of the problems in Western society stem from broken families and lack of parents having time to spend with their children.

In Thailand where salaries are low it makes sense for the wife to look after the home, perhaps go to school and pursue avocations and interests, even without children, if the husband has significant earnings.

Condition not met: "if the husband has significant earnings."

[way2muchcoffee]

Condition not met: "if the husband has significant earnings."

Was thinking of my own situation.

[orosee]

A study had also found that more than half of the juveniles committing crimes came from single-parent families.

Great statistics! Reminds me of the classic Dilbert "Did you know that 40% of sick leave is taken either on a Friday or Monday!?"

Utterly meaningless without further information, but useful in scaring the middle class readership.

[Bagwan]

Hhhmmm. I have difficulty at times making sure that my wife understands and acts upon her being my equal and that we are partners - in everything. I've lost count of the times I've told her that she doesn't need my permission to do anything but must make her own decisions within the boundaries of our relationship. I am sure that she is now in the minority of Thai ladies who, probably through brain washing and historical convention, seeks her husbands approval in most things.

Edited October 12, 2010 by Bagwan

[HC82]

Sheesh, equality of the sexes has made it to Thailand now?

I think these women are lying to someone. The men or the people doing these surveys. This is not how they act and speak in my experience.

[EarthAlien]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

Whether it's liked or not, what is true is true !

"What is true is true" ... that may be so,.. and so what? I'd say that the post was subjectively factual an opinionated.

The problem here is that mainstream western materialism and migration away from family values is becoming increasingly prominent in Thailand and hence we have this prevailing attitude by the modern urban female.

To typify this as an outcome of women becoming intolerent of the doormat treatment sydnrome is in my view nothing more than an opportunity to vent against expats that mostly had a life full (read "gutfull") of being treated like dish-cloths by "now generation" women's lib coffee-set movement and they sought something better.

Oh the crime of it,.. to seek out a life of simple peace and matrimonial harmony,- I feel so guilty about that (NOT!).

I treat my wife with respect, love and dignity and that in turn is reciprocated. I'd say at least 20% of the time I don't understand her and vice-versa but that's where tolerance and flexibility come into play.

A marriage is a partnership and as with any kind of partnership it needs to be worked at.

A fact of life is that some women are bitches through and through and some men are equal bastards. The key here is to know yourself who and what you really are and then choose a suitable partner. Hopefully it will work out, but as with most things in life there are no absolute guarantees!

[jvimolch]

A study had also found that more than half of the juveniles committing crimes came from single-parent families.

Great statistics! Reminds me of the classic Dilbert "Did you know that 40% of sick leave is taken either on a Friday or Monday!?"

Utterly meaningless without further information, but useful in scaring the middle class readership.

Couldn't agree more. I love how statistics are thrown around to support an argument but usually lack any substance. The ubiquitous "study" is used entirely to much by the media and politicians. Unfortunately most people take them for face value...

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."

David Letterman

[bf2002]

Sheesh, equality of the sexes has made it to Thailand now?

I think these women are lying to someone. The men or the people doing these surveys. This is not how they act and speak in my experience.

Are these the women you interact with in Thailand? I'm not being condescending, just curious if you have significant experience with middle class Thais who work in the business sector. Most expats only see them if they are working in an actual Thai company or are a global transfer to a Thai subsidiary. However, most expats on this board tend to be retired or more of the ones that ended up with lower class Thai women. That is a totally different demograhic which sadly accounts for the majority of the country.

I've known quite a few, from the daughter of a Thai diplomat who worked in the US IT consulting industry, a luk krueng with a good foreign education who worked in a large int'l consulting firm, and a Thai uni student who speaks British English and gets the best grades with no effort at all due to her having grown up British in Pattaya in private international preperatory schools. They are more Western than Thai culturally, stay mostly with their own class, and tend to only interact with the the foreigners that have money and business connections. They are nothing like the immature, low education, indecisive, and often crazy average masses.

I like socializing with the former, but find the crazy women of the latter more exciting in my personal time.

The trick --- never mix the two.

[Jirapa]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

A large percentage of expats find their wives in bars and most aren't exactly the scrubbing floors type of women but to be frank why shouldn't a wife keep the house clean and wash your clothes so long as the husband works to bring back the bacon and doesn't sit on his arse all day. Being a housewife or if the situation is reversed and you have a house husband then that person also has their job to do in the relationship. I don't know many hard working people that would be happy to come home to a messy house, no clean clothes and a partner sitting on the sofa eating pot noodles and watching crappy Thai TV.......drum roll / cymbal please....and just to be safe here's a B'doyyyynng!

[asiawatcher]

Never ceases to amaze me! The only reason I see Thai women divorcing is when the money runs out or hubby stops paying! All else seems irrelevant.

[chantorn]

What is wrong with that?

Do we always have to suffer in silence?

[Jirapa]

Never ceases to amaze me! The only reason I see Thai women divorcing is when the money runs out or hubby stops paying! All else seems irrelevant.

The poorer women in Thai society are the least likely to leave their husbands even if he's a lazy abusive drunk. Poor education equals less options and the new generation of Thais are much better educated in the ways of the world than their parents were so are less fearful of leaving their spouse and moving to the big city as many of them have friends who've already done it. Pointless leaving an abusive husband and moving to a place 3 doors away from him in the same village. You have to remember it wasn't so long ago that women in Europe and the western world would live in marital hel_l but never leave their husbands. Thai women are just following by example which is a good thing.

As for money a large percentage of divorce is down to financial difficulties and arguments over money but that's not unique to Thailand. There's also a large number of Thai men who split from their wives leaving them with the kids and no financial support. It's easy for a man to do that in this country so it's not uncommon whereas in the west a man looses most of what he owns and has to fork out large maintenance payments every month. You seem to have a pretty low opinion of Thai wives but I personally have a lower opinion of Thai husbands.

[sarahsbloke]

Marriage break ups in Thailand are at immense numbers. Remember most married couples are married in a Buddhist ceremony and not by paper and hence dont have divorces and the ceremony marriage break ups are a very frequent event in poorer families. The divorce ones of those who marry on paper are easily quantiifable but reflect wealthier people.

Women everywhere are also becoming less tolerant of "traditinalist and mysogynistic" men and their behaviour and ideas of the womens place is in the home, on her kneees and cleaning his socks etc. It is the kind of change history has shown happens as countries develop and a change that many of those expats who couldnt handle modern western women at home and came here to find the doormat wife wont like. It has to be welcomed and maybe will give a chance for the mysogynists and outdated tradionalists among both Thai and expat men to learn.

I bet this post wont go down so well.

I have met many single mothers in Thailand (divorced or never married)

I know several Thai guys

I don't know any married Thai women in their 50s

Seems to me once a Thai guy looks at his woman and he thinks she no longer looks 14, shes dumped.

Why waste your money on an old lady, they say.

Not my opinion, by the way,I am more than happy with the Thai mens rejects in the 28-45 YO age range

They are always extremely grateful..

I hope this post doesn't get me banned, it may be a little too truthful for some people on this forum to read.

[mythBuster]

Does this mean that the army and most politically active people are from single parents. Their crime rates goes to the roof.

[mythBuster]

What is wrong with that?

Do we always have to suffer in silence?

What is wrong with it , is that the elite love to keep things as they are. Suppressing women is one of those things.