Why So Many Farangs Still Make The Mistake Of Not Signing A Prenuptial Agreement

[mark45y]

From the screenplay of HEAT (McCauley - Robert DeNiro / Hanna - Al Pacino )

Vincent Hanna:

My life's a disaster zone. I got a stepdaughter so f-cked up because her

real father's this large-type a--hole. I got a wife, we're passing each

other on the down-slope of a marriage - my third - because I spend all

my time chasing guys like you around the block. That's my life.

Neil McCauley:

A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you

are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat

around the corner." Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move,

how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.

If you have been married a number of times and/or had a number of relationships that have ended badly it is highly unlikely that a new relationship will be any different.

Ergo, being ready to leave on a moments notice is the prudent thing to do in Thailand.

If I flip a coin odds are that it will be heads 50% of the time and tails 50% of the time.

What are the odds that a marriage will work out anywhere? What are the odds that a marriage will work in Thailand between a Falang and a Thai?

What is the prudent thing to do?

[rick75]

maybe family wealth is the answer. ever noticed how ownership lines are blurred in thai relationships? perhaps the two things are linked.

As my dear old Grandad said.....Don't marry for money, marry where there is money.

Wise words.

[djvolak]

It takes all the values of marriage away.

I do have a house and car here and if the wife was to leave me I certainly won't be posting it all over the internet.

Sh!t happens.

I agree. I look at all the stuff I buy in Thailand as being for her anyway. I'm not going anywhere and hope she does not either but like you say shit happens. And it usually involves another woman or 6.

[HAL9000]

Because you get what you prepare for. A pre-nup is just planning for your divorce.

If not sure of your intended, why not extend the courtship until you are sure?

[frenchfarangjomtien]

Also because any Thai judge can consider your prenupt or any contract as toilet paper, so why bothering ?

[David006]

Why so many farang make the mistake of getting married in the first place? Please list the advantages.

to understand this one must take a look look at the men marrying issan girls. genereally not of superior intteigence---come on:who goes looking for a wife in a bar? and then those they chose have many kids, 2nd grade education and poor families to boot,and look like roadkill.

to understand this one must take a look look at the men marrying Welsh girls. genereally not of superior intteigence---come on:who goes looking for a wife in a bar? and then those they chose have many kids, 2nd grade education and poor families to boot,and look like roadkill.

No wonder men move to Thailand

:cheesy:

[David006]

I still like the old lines:

....."my wife is an angel"

......"you're bloody lucky mine is still alive"

[Forethat]

still waiting for the reasons why marriage is a good idea....................

1. Entirely different rules for visa applications if you're married. I'm not talking about Thailand, I'm talking about visiting other countries for holiday and especially the day you want to leave this place and bring your family with you.

2. Insurance

3. Employment benefits (health, insurance, dental).

4. Efforts required (+ cost) to gain dual citizenship for children born in Thailand (a 10/1 ratio for me) if born in marriage.

I understand that if you're not a professional who came to LOS only to shag cheap hookers and drink Mekhong, then I struggle to see a valid reason why you should marry (other than emotional, which can be an even stronger reason). But for those of us who live here, work here and consider Thailand as our home country where we live with our family, there are plenty of valid reasons - I've listed a few.

[sigmoid]

still waiting for the reasons why marriage is a good idea....................

1. Entirely different rules for visa applications if you're married. I'm not talking about Thailand, I'm talking about visiting other countries for holiday and especially the day you want to leave this place and bring your family with you.

2. Insurance

3. Employment benefits (health, insurance, dental).

4. Efforts required (+ cost) to gain dual citizenship for children born in Thailand (a 10/1 ratio for me) if born in marriage.

I understand that if you're not a professional who came to LOS only to shag cheap hookers and drink Mekhong, then I struggle to see a valid reason why you should marry (other than emotional, which can be an even stronger reason). But for those of us who live here, work here and consider Thailand as our home country where we live with our family, there are plenty of valid reasons - I've listed a few.

i really think the intent of this topic applies to marriage where girl is marrying ONLY for financial reasons.

how many legit marriages go on vs the illegitimate one? 1-6 ratio,maybe more?

ps.op you forgot to list love as a reason to marry..........lol.!

[Forethat]

1. Entirely different rules for visa applications if you're married. I'm not talking about Thailand, I'm talking about visiting other countries for holiday and especially the day you want to leave this place and bring your family with you.

2. Insurance

3. Employment benefits (health, insurance, dental).

4. Efforts required (+ cost) to gain dual citizenship for children born in Thailand (a 10/1 ratio for me) if born in marriage

ps.op you forgot to list love as a reason to marry..........lol.!

Here I'd like to point out that it's a darned good thing my wife is not on here...

[Chunky1]

Why not marry a Thai girl of equal financial standing? problem solved.

[cdnvic]

One trollish and insulting post removed.

[PEP]

To all you "Holier than thou" people and the ones who lack trust or judgement:- I say, be an advocate of the Golden Rule - - - - - What you spend in Thailand stays in Thailand. You will never have any problems!

[timekeeper]

don't marry, don't need

[sceadugenga]

Who ever said "don't commit what you can't walk away from" nailed it.

Prenups are worthless in Thailand, the best defence against being ripped off is not to allow the wife to ever be in a position to do it.

Nothing wrong with bargirls by the way, they make great wives. I "married" two and loved every minute of the relationships.

I left them because of pressure to feed huge families and I didn't really want to live in their home countries.

"Married" to a former tour guide now, she knows her way around as well.

[sigmoid]

Who ever said "don't commit what you can't walk away from" nailed it.

Prenups are worthless in Thailand, the best defence against being ripped off is not to allow the wife to ever be in a position to do it.

Nothing wrong with bargirls by the way, they make great wives. I "married" two and loved every minute of the relationships.

I left them because of pressure to feed huge families and I didn't really want to live in their home countries.

"Married" to a former tour guide now, she knows her way around as well.

you give the REASON not to marry bargirls. for them its all bout supporting their families.............nothing wrong with that. But is that what you guys want? just dont make sense. maybe im just too sensible.

[cardholder]

don't marry, don't need

You don't have to be married to throw your money away.

[rick75]

Who ever said "don't commit what you can't walk away from" nailed it.

Prenups are worthless in Thailand, the best defence against being ripped off is not to allow the wife to ever be in a position to do it.

Nothing wrong with bargirls by the way, they make great wives. I "married" two and loved every minute of the relationships.

I left them because of pressure to feed huge families and I didn't really want to live in their home countries.

"Married" to a former tour guide now, she knows her way around as well.

you give the REASON not to marry bargirls. for them its all bout supporting their families.............nothing wrong with that. But is that what you guys want? just dont make sense. maybe im just too sensible.

I think you will find this with all Thai women, wether they work in a bar or as a Doctor there is a guilt that is trained into them from the day they are born, they must support the family, the Country has no social security (well you can't survive on it) and I would be so bold as to say that the Girl who is trained as a Doctor has an even larger guilt because of what the parents have provided in terms of education.

As for marraige you do what you have to, if you have a genuine relationship with a lady why should it be any different to the West, they want marraige to provide a level of security in there life, the same as any Western woman I have been with.

[Forethat]

Why not marry a Thai girl of equal financial standing? problem solved.

Ehhh...is this post a reply to me..!?

[F1fanatic]

Because you get what you prepare for. A pre-nup is just planning for your divorce.

If not sure of your intended, why not extend the courtship until you are sure?

Because you will never know until its too late....

I'd been married to my husband for MANY years, but within a year of moving to Thailand he left me for a Thai woman. She was old (over 40) but still several years younger than me and 14 years younger than my husband.

She played her cards v well (he was telling everyone how much they loved each other until he died), but even so when my husband became seriously ill a couple of years later, he gave me power of attorney - not her.....

My husband died, and I was suprised to discover that his gf thought everything belonged to her - not me (his wife), even though we had both spent our entire working lives in employment and building up everything we had - she (suprise ) brought nothing financially into the equation.

Her friends (married to farangs) were encouraging her in this view....

Anyway, to get back to the original point - "Because you will never know until its too late...." - unless you're sensible enough to accept that there's a good chance that someone who has nothing is likely to be with you for money.

Hence the need for prenups.

[GM1955]

Hence the need for prenups.

Big respect for you F1.

Sorry about your marriage, Iv'e been through a few marriages myself, shit happens.

My advice, if you are a regular member on this site, don't reveal too much, <deleted> will drag it up when it suits them. Keep some private things...private.

It must be tough as hel_l for a western Female on this site, all the time they are being called Fat, Feminazi, Controlling, unfeminine, etc etc etc.

You carry on FI Fanatic, say your piece, screw the others.

Edited October 18, 2010 by GM1955

[F1fanatic]

Hence the need for prenups.

Big respect for you F1.

Sorry about your marriage, Iv'e been through a few marriages myself, shit happens.

My advice, if you are a regular member on this site, don't reveal too much, <deleted> will drag it up when it suits them. Keep some private things...private.

It must be tough as hel_l for a western Female on this site, all the time they are being called Fat, Feminazi, Controlling, unfeminine, etc etc etc.

You carry on FI Fanatic, say your piece, screw the others.

Thank you, but don't worry about it....

I was only married the once (at 20 until we came out here...).

I met a couple of women from another forum last week, and we all laughed at the sterotype of the Western women - none of which applied to any of us. But if it makes the odd Western male feel better to believe it, it only confirms what we all thought about the 'general' Western male in Thailand.

Nowadays, I try v hard to only contribute to discussions of which I have some knowledge.... even though I know my advice will be ignored .

Edit - Yes, I am a feminist, having worked all my life (earning similar amounts to my ex husband).

Even so, I still sorted out our finances, did most of the housework (and got annoyed about it), so I can understand why (ex)husband found a woman who catered to his every need appealing - as opposed to a woman that considered herself an equal partner.....

Edited October 18, 2010 by F1fanatic

[fletchsmile]

Considered getting a pre-nup. Didn't. Very happy to date. Then again I don't fit in the categories OP was aiming at, nor do most of my friends.

Benefits of marriage: lovely wife and kids, and a family unit. Sure we could have avoided getting married. I was more interested in what I could give though than what I could take. That's what I was looking for.

If trust is the issue, why are you getting married? To receive trust you have to give it?

Sure things can go pear shaped in any relationship and any country. If they do, I'd expect to provide for the wife and kids. My biggest priority in life is to make sure they're happy, and in turn make sure it doesn't go pear shaped

[jorgelupo]

true story.

man come to bkk with $300,000 and $1500 pension. he weds a lovely rural girl.builds house and supports girls family to the tune of over $250,000. he now has $50,000 and pension. what good would a prenup have done. the guy spent his money willingly. now of course divorce is in process.

[mark45y]

Hence the need for prenups.

Big respect for you F1.

Sorry about your marriage, Iv'e been through a few marriages myself, shit happens.

My advice, if you are a regular member on this site, don't reveal too much, <deleted> will drag it up when it suits them. Keep some private things...private.

It must be tough as hel_l for a western Female on this site, all the time they are being called Fat, Feminazi, Controlling, unfeminine, etc etc etc.

You carry on FI Fanatic, say your piece, screw the others.

Thank you, but don't worry about it....

I was only married the once (at 20 until we came out here...).

I met a couple of women from another forum last week, and we all laughed at the sterotype of the Western women - none of which applied to any of us. But if it makes the odd Western male feel better to believe it, it only confirms what we all thought about the 'general' Western male in Thailand.

Nowadays, I try v hard to only contribute to discussions of which I have some knowledge.... even though I know my advice will be ignored .

Edit - Yes, I am a feminist, having worked all my life (earning similar amounts to my ex husband).

Even so, I still sorted out our finances, did most of the housework (and got annoyed about it), so I can understand why (ex)husband found a woman who catered to his every need appealing - as opposed to a woman that considered herself an equal partner.....

WW II which Thailand escaped most of the consequences of created all the problems.

For the first time women got out of the house and worked out of necessity, both in England and America. Rosie the riveter and the countless English women who worked in the war effort.

No one wanted it but it was a necessity to winning the war.

How you gonna keep em on the farm once they've seen Paree?

Add to that the invention of the birth control pill giving women control of their bodies for the first time and conflict was inevitable.

Why do the old guys come to Thailand? Thai women were not subject to the same changing factors as Western women.

No good guys and bad guys. Just cultures changing.

I want a girl, just like the girl that married dear old dad.

Sure my GF calls me MR. and so did my grandmother call her husband mister. It is a time disconnect.

There is a disconnect between the young and old posters on this forum. It is obvious the young guys have a different set of values. They grew up in a different world.

[LaoPo]

A most interesting final Judgement about a PRE-NUPTIAL Agreement by the Supreme Court in London between a wealthy German Lady and her French husband, who were both living in London and "discussing" the Pre-Nup for four years, in Court:

Video included

20 October 2010 Last updated at 13:17 GMT

Supreme Court rules in favour of pre-nuptial agreement

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11580907

LaoPo

[LaoPo]

From the same link, above:

Analysis

Clive Coleman BBC legal affairs analyst Pre-nuptial agreements allow people to ringfence part of their wealth at the outset of a marriage.

They are enforceable in many countries but they have never been binding in England and Wales. This landmark ruling means that if the parties enter into a "pre-nup" freely, are fully informed of all the relevant financial and other information, and the implications of the agreement, then the courts will uphold the pre-nup.

In effect, they are now binding unless they are unfair.

Pre-nups are not just for the rich. People entering second marriages, who want to protect their wealth for their children should the marriage fail, will find it much easier to do so.

The ruling has been hailed as a judgement for a modern society, but there are some who believe it will significantly damage the financially weaker party in divorce. If that party, normally the wife, is held to the terms of a pre-nup they may be deprived of a considerable chunk of the couple's wealth.

From:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11580907

LaoPo

[IanForbes]

A most interesting final Judgement about a PRE-NUPTIAL Agreement by the Supreme Court in London between a wealthy German Lady and her French husband, who were both living in London and "discussing" the Pre-Nup for four years, in Court:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11580907

LaoPo

Thanks for that post, LaoPo. It just points out the validity of a pre-nup, but also shows all the problems. A pre-nup works fine if everyone agrees. But, in many cases, if one spouse decides to contest it then the lawyers are the only ones that gain. In many cases after the lawyers take their fees there is little left for the customer.

[jazzbo]

One alternative: Transfer all your assets to a Trust with a fiduciary Trustee and yourself as beneficiary... cannot be done in Thailand but nearby in Singapore ...

[LaoPo]

A most interesting final Judgement about a PRE-NUPTIAL Agreement by the Supreme Court in London between a wealthy German Lady and her French husband, who were both living in London and "discussing" the Pre-Nup for four years, in Court:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11580907

LaoPo

Thanks for that post, LaoPo. It just points out the validity of a pre-nup, but also shows all the problems. A pre-nup works fine if everyone agrees. But, in many cases, if one spouse decides to contest it then the lawyers are the only ones that gain. In many cases after the lawyers take their fees there is little left for the customer.

Correct but the interesting thing is this particular Supreme Court case in London is that the Lady is VERY wealthy and the husband agreed upon the Pre-Nup BEFORE they married and contested it when they divorced...

Most members always talk about the husband/male partner having the assets.

LaoPo